The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

It's this "couple of days in a row" in my microtaper that I was doing and it wasn't working so I thought I was failing. That's why I'm hoping the longer hold will stabilize me and help me actually cut faster

From what I've read, even those doing the micro taper sometimes run into trouble and have to hold for long periods of time due to lag time of cuts. The shorter holds are what got Oscar in a mess during his micro taper but he kept cutting anyway until he crashed. For some of us, this isn't our first rodeo or we have polydrug histories or have been on benzos a while. It only makes sense that we may have to move slower and use longer holds than those without the baggage of previous benzo or ssri withdrawal. I plan to micro taper, but at a slow pace. I've discussed it with builder (who did a 2 year hold by the way) and he said he had no issues with his taper after starting the micro taper. I'm sure the hold was part of his success although I don't plan to hold that long. -V

[[jr...]]

The more I read on here , the more I am convinced that the correct taper is a liquid microtaper with small daily cuts and holds whenever the need arises. I know of a buddy on here that done a 2 year hold and also a 2 month hold during a LT. There has got to be a way to get off these drugs and still function in life.The reason most of us are in such a hurry is because we feel so rotten and getting off is the only relief in sight. I really want to believe that holds are not bad and small updoses may be necessary at times with holds of 2 or more months.I had to updose the beginning of this month and have been holding ever since. I see small improvements daily and I will know when it is time to cut again.

[[ca...]]

Do any of you eat an extreme amount of food? I get slammed still will w/d symptoms eventhough I have been off meds for almost 15 months but I am always starvin . I mean I eat TONS of food and almost constantly. Has anyone had this?

[[an...]]

Not me! I wish! I guess it depends what kind of food you are eating. If it's healthy food eat away! If it's all processed, get rid of it! That can cause so many other issues like diabetes and obesity and all kinds of crap!

[[Va...]]

The more I read on here , the more I am convinced that the correct taper is a liquid microtaper with small daily cuts and holds whenever the need arises. I know of a buddy on here that done a 2 year hold and also a 2 month hold during a LT. There has got to be a way to get off these drugs and still function in life.The reason most of us are in such a hurry is because we feel so rotten and getting off is the only relief in sight. I really want to believe that holds are not bad and small updoses may be necessary at times with holds of 2 or more months.I had to updose the beginning of this month and have been holding ever since. I see small improvements daily and I will know when it is time to cut again.

That's my plan after the hold. 

[[li...]]

Me too except I hope I can go faster than 1% a month that I was crawling at before my long hold. I'm on day 34. Yesterday I was able to be on the computer for two hours without my brain being overwhelmed and took the dog for two 20 minute walks--one at 9:30 in the morning. Major brain fog and sedation but little else. That's huge progress for me. Holding tight knowing its up and down but hopeful. Thank God

Liza

[[Va...]]

Me too except I hope I can go faster than 1% a month that I was crawling at before my long hold. I'm on day 34. Yesterday I was able to be on the computer for two hours without my brain being overwhelmed and took the dog for two 20 minute walks--one at 9:30 in the morning. Major brain fog and sedation but little else. That's huge progress for me. Holding tight knowing its up and down but hopeful. Thank God

Liza

That's great to hear!  More evidence in favor of holding when needed. 

[[Va...]]

More support for holding:

 

"People who taper too fast often "hit the wall" at some point. Many end up reinstating (somewhere near 80%). When benzodiazepines are reinstated, tapering becomes more difficult..... Just remember that the rate of withdrawal may need to be adjusted as the dose gets smaller. But there always needs to be some forward momentum. If withdrawal symptoms seem too prominent at any one cut, do not go back but hold the cut longer to stabilize".

 

[[li...]]

Definitely not linear. Feel like hell this morning. Makes it hard to get excited ever

[[Va...]]

Definitely not linear. Feel like hell this morning. Makes it hard to get excited ever

So true!  The bad days definitely make you question holding. I sure did. I still have times during the day that aren't so great especially if I'm not busy but overall, I'm feeling better all the time. I was even able to sleep in this morning instead of waking up at 5:00 full of adrenaline and unable to go back to sleep. I slept until 7:00. It was nice not to have that anxious feeling of having to get up. I'm getting close to being stable enough to start reducing, but want to experiment by holding for one more month. My theory is that it will make tapering much easier. I'm so afraid of getting stuck in a bad place again, I'm being very cautious going forward. I feel like I have PTSD after the train wreck of how I began my taper lol. Hang on. It gets better.  -V

[[li...]]

I'm so grateful for all of you. I'm telling you I was in a Facebook group that would berate me if I ever complained that things weren't great. So glad I can be me here. My husband said he has definitely noticed an improvement in me and I have to admit the bad isn't as low as I've been before holding--you just get excited in a window and then...

 

Valley your story is such a blessing to me. I'm praying I have the same experience so I can be just as encouraging as you are. PTSD for sure--I've been so indoctrinated about the tolerance thing that I have to tell myself every day---IT's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My husband also said the holding thing makes perfect sense to him after all I've been through. Funny that the doc Im working with on my microtaper suggested I take six months to stabilize. I thought he was a mad man. What if he was right??  :'(

Have a good day y'all

Liza

[[be...]]

Liza, you have just made my day, such wonderful news, and for your Husband and Doctor to reinforce things for you, it is a win win, you and Valium Um

and others here that are embracing the long holds will do well I just know it.  

[[Va...]]

I'm so grateful for all of you. I'm telling you I was in a Facebook group that would berate me if I ever complained that things weren't great. So glad I can be me here. My husband said he has definitely noticed an improvement in me and I have to admit the bad isn't as low as I've been before holding--you just get excited in a window and then...

 

Valley your story is such a blessing to me. I'm praying I have the same experience so I can be just as encouraging as you are. PTSD for sure--I've been so indoctrinated about the tolerance thing that I have to tell myself every day---IT's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My husband also said the holding thing makes perfect sense to him after all I've been through. Funny that the doc Im working with on my microtaper suggested I take six months to stabilize. I thought he was a mad man. What if he was right??  :'(

Have a good day y'all

Liza

 

I love how builder framed tolerance. He stated "you can be in tolerance, but still be stable". Don't fear the tolerance, fear the damage caused by not allowing your brain to heal. Glad to hear your husband and Doctor are onboard. It helps to have the support.  -V

[[Va...]]

Liza, you have just made my day, such wonderful news, and for your Husband and Doctor to reinforce things for you, it is a win win, you and Valium Um

and others here that are embracing the long holds will do well I just know it.  

I just wish others would give it a shot. There are too many suffering. I preach long holding to most every newbie, but the naysayers always chime in that you have to get off to heal. I now we heal on the way down otherwise how could those who tapered slowly and used holds walk away healed? You don't see them posting about ongoing problems post taper.  It's like the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. 

[[li...]]

[[jr...]]

Liza, you have just made my day, such wonderful news, and for your Husband and Doctor to reinforce things for you, it is a win win, you and Valium Um

and others here that are embracing the long holds will do well I just know it.  

I just wish others would give it a shot. There are too many suffering. I preach long holding to most every newbie, but the naysayers always chime in that you have to get off to heal. I now we heal on the way down otherwise how could those who tapered slowly and used holds walk away healed? You don't see them posting about ongoing problems post taper.  It's like the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. 

 

It is hard to make other people see what you know. I am convinced that a micro taper with holds as necessary are the way to go. I have held for 30 days as of today and will hold until I feel it is time to liquid taper. Everyday shows a little improvement.I am sick to death of this suffering from cut and hold. There has to be a life in there somewhere while we are tapering. what if it takes 2 years or three or even 4 years for that matter.I would rather have 4 years of life than 9 months of SXS and who knows what post jump!

[[be...]]

I know, last night I had to post to someone new, and am leery if he is real or not, maybe a troll, he was bashing and I wrote one post and then read it

and deleted and wrote again, he was caustic and so against  holds and such I had to speak out, and saying why don't people just get on with it, irked

me to no end, did I make a convert last evening I don't think so. His thread is on the Taper board I think, just saying I can not help anyone, we have

to want quality of life and by cracky that is what I intend to have.

[[Va...]]

I know, last night I had to post to someone new, and am leery if he is real or not, maybe a troll, he was bashing and I wrote one post and then read it

and deleted and wrote again, he was caustic and so against  holds and such I had to speak out, and saying why don't people just get on with it, irked

me to no end, did I make a convert last evening I don't think so. His thread is on the Taper board I think, just saying I can not help anyone, we have

to want quality of life and by cracky that is what I intend to have.

I can only guess who it was lol. I saw the thread. Some just think they can power through this and heal fast.  It just doesn't work that way. Your body will heal in a specific time frame and it will actually take longer if you significantly shock the CNS. There really is no quick fix to this for most of us. Quality of life is right. Especially post taper. 

[[be...]]

[move] :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: [/move]

[[li...]]

I significantly shocked my CNS I. 2010/2011 with back to back 5 month Ashton cut and hold tapers (one off 4 mg ativan and one off .5 mg klonopin I reinstated on cuz of suicidal akathisia). Those two tapers cost me six months of acute horror when I jumped and then another three years to get to 85%. If I can hold for three months and get to 85% and pretty much stay there, I don't care how long it takes to microtaper. Praying for that 80-85% most days

[[Va...]]

I significantly shocked my CNS I. 2010/2011 with back to back 5 month Ashton cut and hold tapers (one off 4 mg ativan and one off .5 mg klonopin I reinstated on cuz of suicidal akathisia). Those two tapers cost me six months of acute horror when I jumped and then another three years to get to 85%. If I can hold for three months and get to 85% and pretty much stay there, I don't care how long it takes to microtaper. Praying for that 80-85% most days

It will come. You wouldn't be seeing improvements if it wasn't going to work. 

[[...]]

It is hard to make other people see what you know. I am convinced that a micro taper with holds as necessary are the way to go. I have held for 30 days as of today and will hold until I feel it is time to liquid taper. Everyday shows a little improvement.I am sick to death of this suffering from cut and hold. There has to be a life in there somewhere while we are tapering. what if it takes 2 years or three or even 4 years for that matter.I would rather have 4 years of life than 9 months of SXS and who knows what post jump!

 

I absolutely agree with you  :thumbsup:

 

I began with the cut and hold method but soon found out that micro-tapering was best for me. Symptoms are very manageable (apart from THE fatigue I've had all along, years before coming off) and there is ALWAYS the option to hold if symptoms hit  There is the FREEDOM to hold when you want to go off and take a break... whether liquid or dry cutting, I will never go back to the cut & hold method!!!

 

Liza, I am SO glad you found BBs. The Facebook group you used for support sounds rather "secular". We are all different and we are free to choose the method which best suits us, we are all entitled to our own opinions including benzo withdrawal - where is the evidence supporting these people's statements?... your experience is what matters, it is your Life  :thumbsup:

 

Wishing you all the best!!

Julz xxx

 

[[be...]]

Just curious - has anyone experienced a miscarriage in the midst of benzo withdrawal?

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hi Everybody!

 

I'm joining this group!  I truly believe that we should hold as long as necessary.  Our brains need time to adjust and I'm giving mine as long as it needs.  I really don't understand the pressure to get off asap at all costs.   No one has proven to me that there is harm caused by holding.  My pdoc told me to go as slow as I needed.

 

I have done some big drops over the past 15 months.  For the first year (8mg to 1mg) I didn't know much about benzo wd and hadn't come across BB.  I didn't know ANYTHING about wd until I attempted c/t - then I found out quick!

 

I had an 8 month hold at 1mg last year and felt terrific.  I didn't have any tolerance wd or whatever it is that people say will happen to you if you hold too long.  Nothing!  I am 5 weeks holding at present. I went kind of fast from 1mg to .3125 over the past 3 months and am taking a little time for things to fully settle.

 

I look forward to hearing your posts and updates! :thumbsup:

[[bo...]]

Hi everyone..would like to pop in here too.. Over the last year have tried so hard to get off ativan , but just have so much trouble under 1 mg... The sx are crippling and spend a lot of time thinking I am having a stroke or heart artack! Its no way to live. Lately I updosed slightly and held for well over a month.. Felt so much better. Also crossed over to a liquid taper.. Yesterday I started tapering again and today feel like crap again... I know its not an easy ride but just wish I could have longer periods of feeling ok in amongst all this. I am not giving up but feel I am going to have a lot more holds as I go...i am taking less than 30 mgs a month compared to over 115 mgs a month . Thats gotta be better for me... I guess I'm just worried 'hold' is the step before give up ...

So over all this !