The Long Hold Support Group

[[De...]]

Omg! I cant believe we are tapering in a pandemic! Nothing else better happen. My nerves. Lol. I be going very slow with you!!! This takes so long, it making me crazy! Prison sentence. Lol ❤❤❤🙏

[[va...]]

Omg! I cant believe we are tapering in a pandemic! Nothing else better happen. My nerves. Lol. I be going very slow with you!!! This takes so long, it making me crazy! Prison sentence. Lol ❤❤❤🙏

 

😭😭😭😭😘😘😘😘😘 Everything will be OK in the end. Though of course we don't know when the end will be.

[[De...]]

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 so true! For the end of wd and virus. ❤❤

[[va...]]

I toast to that 🧃🧃

[[De...]]

Cheers!!!

[[Gu...]]

Hello LHSG,

 

I won’t address everyone but you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

I’m doing a bit better today.  Feeling closer to the new normal for me.  Yesterday was bad.  Honestly felt like a dementia patient. 

 

I’m just going to hold on and hope for better days.

 

Love to all.  💕 ❤️

[[ki...]]

A little bit of a tmi question, but we’re all adults here, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂😂

 

Has anyone noticed the texture of their menstrual blood has changed in withdrawal? I’m 35 and I know our periods change as we age (or after pregnancies), I’m just wondering if this is something others have experienced. I notice a lot of clots in the toilet on heavy days and the last few days have a lot more of the old dark blood.

[[De...]]

Hi go!

I swear that's how I have been feeling. I feel more clear in a strange kind of way. Not the heavy depression. More like me. Feel better! ❤🙏

 

Hi everyone! Hope you  all aren't having to bad of sx. They will pass, they do in time. ❤❤

[[Gi...]]

Hello LHSG,

 

I won’t address everyone but you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

I’m doing a bit better today.  Feeling closer to the new normal for me.  Yesterday was bad.  Honestly felt like a dementia patient. 

 

I’m just going to hold on and hope for better days.

 

Love to all.  💕 ❤️

Hi GP,

I'm happy you're better today.  I had a terrible day yesterday but slept well last night and feel good today.  Oh the ups and downs of withdrawal. G

 

 

[[Gi...]]

Hi go!

I swear that's how I have been feeling. I feel more clear in a strange kind of way. Not the heavy depression. More like me. Feel better! ❤🙏

 

Hi everyone! Hope you  all aren't having to bad of sx. They will pass, they do in time. ❤❤

That's good news dehytq2.  My daughter's  brother-in-law was tapered off a two year daily dose of 1 mg of ativan.  This was done over two weeks, then no more.  He suffered terribly the first 6 weeks but after, he said his thinking was so much clearer, no more foggy brain.  It's been 7 months and he feels fine now.  G

[[De...]]

Thats awesome gingermint! Im glad he is doing better. Its up and down like you said. I hope you are having a better day!!

[[va...]]

A little bit of a tmi question, but we’re all adults here, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂😂

 

Has anyone noticed the texture of their menstrual blood has changed in withdrawal? I’m 35 and I know our periods change as we age (or after pregnancies), I’m just wondering if this is something others have experienced. I notice a lot of clots in the toilet on heavy days and the last few days have a lot more of the old dark blood.

 

Hi Kitsune. I really don't notice much of a difference. I though I was having menopause a few months ago but now I'm totally regular again. Of course I'm 52 so we're quite different. Some people have lost their period completely due to severe withdrawal. Not me though. I think it was the only thing that remained constant through my personal hell last summer so my ovaries seem to be living their own carefree life oblivious to all this ordeal. I dont blame them.

[[va...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

 

We are trying Vali, it is depressing here.  They have had to pull up refrigerator body trucks because we have so many deaths.  It makes you think of a scary movie or something looking at that.  We are breaking records almost every day.  You know this is Texas, people think everything should be a right

, it makes me want to scream.  Several young people have died, leaving statements like, " I thought it was a joke, and too young and healthy to get sick.  I am so sorry I was that arrogant and then they died at 19 to 25.  Trying to warn others their age not to act like them.    .  It's just all so strange  :'(

GM, GP, DD, Vali, Trishy, love you all very much, please be safe and careful.  Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜🙏😘💜🙏😘.  😷😷😷😷

[[ja...]]

i went back on 10mg and it is day 2 and most of my symptoms are gone, burning are less frequent now.

i feel completely normal, it is quite amazing.

i hope that it won't turn paradoxical on me like i have read so many times on the forum that re-instatement doesn't work, i am so worried.

 

my doc is very good, she wants me to feel okay, not too high and see to gauge the minimum dose i can get by.

she said that i need more at first to stabilize but will cut slowly before dependence set in, i.e. 1 month.

i slept 8 hours yesterday straight and didn't have surge upon awaking. felt completely normal until i realized that "shit i am back on valium" which gave me a lot of sadeness since i successfully widthdrew from it a year ago but doing daily liquid micro taper.

 

i pray god that it will continue.

 

i am alive and grateful.

i was so so close to end my life.

 

this time, for this 3rd taper, i will take all my time to taper, i don't care if it takes 10 years.

[[va...]]

i went back on 10mg and it is day 2 and most of my symptoms are gone, burning are less frequent now.

i feel completely normal, it is quite amazing.

i hope that it won't turn paradoxical on me like i have read so many times on the forum that re-instatement doesn't work, i am so worried.

 

my doc is very good, she wants me to feel okay, not too high and see to gauge the minimum dose i can get by.

she said that i need more at first to stabilize but will cut slowly before dependence set in, i.e. 1 month.

i slept 8 hours yesterday straight and didn't have surge upon awaking.

i pray god that it will continue.

 

i am alive and grateful.

i was so so close to end my life.

 

Jasmine I'm so glad to hear this. You will not get paradoxical, there isn't even any evidence that such thing exists. Just take your time to stabilize and when you start cutting, the forum recommends to start slowly, with a 10% cut per month no more.

[[ja...]]

just one benzo, valium.

but i am afraid to take it and i have immense anxiety. the pacing is back.

i keep thinking that the valium doesn't work anymore but my husband said that is because i haven't taken enough.

my doctor wants me to take enough to calm down for a week and then find the dosage that i can stay on for a while to stabilize.

i am worry that if i take 10mg, i will be stuck with 10mg for the rest of my life.

i have a fear of benzo, but my akathisia was so bad that i decided to go back on it or take my own life.

i am okay with taking benzo for 0.5mg for the rest if my life but not 10mg

my husband thinks that my priorities right now is to stabilize.

i have 2 small kids.

 

my symptoms are:

full body jerks

• • insomnia
    akathesia
    fear
    burning
    head buzzing
    heart palpitations
    adrenaline surge night and day
    complete incontinence, i have to wear an adult diaper
    loud Tinnitus
    
  • 
    

   

  [*]

when i take my valium most of them disappear.

 

i am worried that my doc doesn't know what she is doing.

she wants me to stabilize first and then later think about tapering.

i am so afraid of tapering from 10mg, it will take me ages since i am already so kindled

Morning Jasmine sorry you are suffering so much.Now if you have a compulsion causing you to self harm get yourself into a secure unit until this can be sorted out.l know for sure your husband will try to keep you safe however if someone is determined to do it they need a lot of supervision.

.I don't care if you are kindled etc this is about saving your life so take the benzo . This will settle given enough time however if you are a danger to yourself get the help you need.

I have to say you are a wife and a mother so you owe it to your family to stay safe.l am dealing with this at this time and the fallout from suicide is beyond wordsThat is not a legacy you want to leave to your family.X

 

stut, thank you for the encouragement.

are you dealing with suicidal ideation at this moment?

[[ja...]]

 

Jasmine I'm so glad to hear this. You will not get paradoxical, there isn't even any evidence that such thing exists. Just take your time to stabilize and when you start cutting, the forum recommends to start slowly, with a 10% cut per month no more.

 

valiumnomore, thank you so much for the encouragement.

i wish i didn't waited that long before re-instating.

my last taper, i tapered 0.0033mg per day, crazy slow.

i successfully withdrew from valium amd lexapro and was healed in the end of my taper

this time, it will take longer for sure,. i hope that i won't get into tolerance.

 

today, i went shopping with my daughter. felt so normal.

i was worried that the akatisia will come back but i splashed myself with magnesium oil and cream and started taking magnesium again to calm down the nerves, i hope they will stay at bay.

[[va...]]

Tolerance. I've been in tolerance for years and that is nothing nearly as bad as withdrawal. Don't worry about tolerance. Check magnesium in the search tool. There are opposed opinions and some people claim it can be counterproductive when we have benzo issues. Just check it out and don't freak out. Nothing will happen to you but maybe read about it and then decide if you want to keep taking it. Some people do and some don't.

[[Tr...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

 

We are trying Vali, it is depressing here.  They have had to pull up refrigerator body trucks because we have so many deaths.  It makes you think of a scary movie or something looking at that.  We are breaking records almost every day.  You know this is Texas, people think everything should be a right

, it makes me want to scream.  Several young people have died, leaving statements like, " I thought it was a joke, and too young and healthy to get sick.  I am so sorry I was that arrogant and then they died at 19 to 25.  Trying to warn others their age not to act like them.    .  It's just all so strange  :'(

GM, GP, DD, Vali, Trishy, love you all very much, please be safe and careful.  Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜🙏😘💜🙏😘.  😷😷😷😷

Hey Mary,.

I have been watching the news and what's happening in your state and Florida and most of the South is devastating. I'm getting very worried about Fall and winter here. The top CDC guy says it is going to be one of the most difficult times in US history. He said covid will spread easier because of cooler temps. It will live longer on surfaces. I'm terrified all over again like I was back in February. I want to taper again but keep putting it off. I just don't know what to do. What's happening in our country is very upsetting and that's an under statement. My grandkids will be returning to school next month possibly and I might lose my mind when they do. My daughter is considering having her daughter learn from home.. Who the hell knows what to do. We certainly aren't receiving any guidance from the federal government. 😠

I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I've been busy watching my granddaughter everyday while my daughter and husband work. I wake at night and all my worries come rushing in. Is this all really real?? 😵

Love you! Be careful down there! 🙏

Trishy

[[Ma...]]

i went back on 10mg and it is day 2 and most of my symptoms are gone, burning are less frequent now.

i feel completely normal, it is quite amazing.

i hope that it won't turn paradoxical on me like i have read so many times on the forum that re-instatement doesn't work, i am so worried.

 

my doc is very good, she wants me to feel okay, not too high and see to gauge the minimum dose i can get by.

she said that i need more at first to stabilize but will cut slowly before dependence set in, i.e. 1 month.

i slept 8 hours yesterday straight and didn't have surge upon awaking. felt completely normal until i realized that "shit i am back on valium" which gave me a lot of sadeness since i successfully widthdrew from it a year ago but doing daily liquid micro taper.

 

i pray god that it will continue.

 

i am alive and grateful.

i was so so close to end my life.

 

this time, for this 3rd taper, i will take all my time to taper, i don't care if it takes 10 years.

 

Jasmine, have you read begood's p-log and or blog?  She did 3 tapers and took very long time the third time.  Reading her experience may give you lots of hope.  She walked off, I believe 7 months ago and is doing so great.  Wishing you lots of luck!!  Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼

[[Ma...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

 

We are trying Vali, it is depressing here.  They have had to pull up refrigerator body trucks because we have so many deaths.  It makes you think of a scary movie or something looking at that.  We are breaking records almost every day.  You know this is Texas, people think everything should be a right

, it makes me want to scream.  Several young people have died, leaving statements like, " I thought it was a joke, and too young and healthy to get sick.  I am so sorry I was that arrogant and then they died at 19 to 25.  Trying to warn others their age not to act like them.    .  It's just all so strange  :'(

GM, GP, DD, Vali, Trishy, love you all very much, please be safe and careful.  Mary 🙋🏼🙋🏼. 💜🙏😘💜🙏😘.  😷😷😷😷

Hey Mary,.

I have been watching the news and what's happening in your state and Florida and most of the South is devastating. I'm getting very worried about Fall and winter here. The top CDC guy says it is going to be one of the most difficult times in US history. He said covid will spread easier because of cooler temps. It will live longer on surfaces. I'm terrified all over again like I was back in February. I want to taper again but keep putting it off. I just don't know what to do. What's happening in our country is very upsetting and that's an under statement. My grandkids will be returning to school next month possibly and I might lose my mind when they do. My daughter is considering having her daughter learn from home.. Who the hell knows what to do. We certainly aren't receiving any guidance from the federal government. 😠

I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I've been busy watching my granddaughter everyday while my daughter and husband work. I wake at night and all my worries come rushing in. Is this all really real?? 😵

Love you! Be careful down there! 🙏

Trishy

 

It really doesn't seem like it can be real Trishy.  I don't know what's going to happen    I know Joe Biden would put Cuomo over it or at least have him helping and things could start clearing up, but with Trump over us until Jan, that's what scares me the most.  How could this happen to the US?

I miss you girlfriend, you take care of that family, which I know you do.  I haven't been on as much because all of the jack hammering around my house driving me crazy ....and the virus making me anxious.  Hopefully the hammering will end next week.  That alone would be wonderful.  LY much,

🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼.  😷💜😘🙏😷💜😘🙏😷

 

[[Gi...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

Hi Valium,

I'm happy you have a nice doctor.  I had my last period when I was 55.  I thought they'd never end.  I hope you are able to stay safe too.  My life is pretty quiet, living alone.  My three older grandchildren are out of school except for college next month. 

 

Trishy,

I don't know what schools will do here, they are still trying to decide.  My two youngest grandchildren live in Idaho and my daughter is probably going to home school them this coming school year.  She is still waiting to find out what her district plans.  It's a worry for sure.  They live in a very small town that has, so far, only had 5 cases.

 

Another daughter works in an elementary school and she is concerned.  She goes back to work mid-August.

 

Mary,

My nephew and his family just moved to Texas about two weeks before the state reopened.  My niece has health issues.  I worry about them because they don't seem to take the pandemic seriously. 

 

Our governor has issued statewide wearing masks orders.  Most people seem to comply.  He also, yesterday, went back to limiting gatherings, other than family, to 5 people in some counties.  Our cases continue to rise but our hospitals have plenty of capacity and the death rate has slowed. Still it is much worse than our supposed peak in April.

 

Stay safe everyone, wear your mask.  We just have to cope as best we can until this is over.  One day it will be. Hugs. G

 

[[Gi...]]

i went back on 10mg and it is day 2 and most of my symptoms are gone, burning are less frequent now.

i feel completely normal, it is quite amazing.

i hope that it won't turn paradoxical on me like i have read so many times on the forum that re-instatement doesn't work, i am so worried.

 

my doc is very good, she wants me to feel okay, not too high and see to gauge the minimum dose i can get by.

she said that i need more at first to stabilize but will cut slowly before dependence set in, i.e. 1 month.

i slept 8 hours yesterday straight and didn't have surge upon awaking. felt completely normal until i realized that "shit i am back on valium" which gave me a lot of sadeness since i successfully widthdrew from it a year ago but doing daily liquid micro taper.

 

i pray god that it will continue.

 

i am alive and grateful.

i was so so close to end my life.

 

this time, for this 3rd taper, i will take all my time to taper, i don't care if it takes 10 years.

Jasmine,

I'm so glad you are feeling good again.  Now slow and easy when you taper again.  I was going to mention looking up Begood but I see Mary already has.  She is an excellent case study on slow tapering with holds.

Good luck as you move forward. G

[[Ma...]]

Hi Suzy, GP, Ginger,

 

I'm just dropping by to say that I'm still here as usual and the day wasn't too bad. I went to the gyneacologyst after postponing it since February and she said my ovaries are "poliactive" or something similar and I said what's that and she basically said I'm still fertile so I'll be extra careful if I ever have sex again in this lifetime which I really doubt. She said my period would normally last one more year but not more as I'm 52, and that she doesn't prescribe hormones so I'll stick to her. She's nice. Suzy and Ginger I'm glad you had a better day. GP, I'm sorry you're feeling down again. We'll get through this eventually . It'll be slow but there's no rush for us in this group. Have a good afternoon. Stay safe, I'm seeing all the chaos in Texas and I hope you guys can stay safe at home.

Hi Valium,

I'm happy you have a nice doctor.  I had my last period when I was 55.  I thought they'd never end.  I hope you are able to stay safe too.  My life is pretty quiet, living alone.  My three older grandchildren are out of school except for college next month. 

 

Trishy,

I don't know what schools will do here, they are still trying to decide.  My two youngest grandchildren live in Idaho and my daughter is probably going to home school them this coming school year.  She is still waiting to find out what her district plans.  It's a worry for sure.  They live in a very small town that has, so far, only had 5 cases.

 

Another daughter works in an elementary school and she is concerned.  She goes back to work mid-August.

 

Mary,

My nephew and his family just moved to Texas about two weeks before the state reopened.  My niece has health issues.  I worry about them because they don't seem to take the pandemic seriously. 

 

Our governor has issued statewide wearing masks orders.  Most people seem to comply.  He also, yesterday, went back to limiting gatherings, other than family, to 5 people in some counties.  Our cases continue to rise but our hospitals have plenty of capacity and the death rate has slowed. Still it is much worse than our supposed peak in April.

 

Stay safe everyone, wear your mask.  We just have to cope as best we can until this is over.  One day it will be. Hugs. G

 

We try to be very careful GM.  I hope your family starts taking it more serious quickly.  Just one look at those refrigerator trucks for bodies would cause me to take it more seriously.  Its like living in a third world country.  You be safe my friend, LY 🙋🏼💜😷😘🙋🏼💜😷😘🙋🏼