12-24 months and up support group

[[La...]]

Hello fellow 12/24 Monthers!  Here in the mid-Atlantic I am preparing to enjoy our lovely sunny 60 degree weather, before it all goes to hell in a hand basket!  Rain and snow predicted for Saturday and then a turn upwards beginning Sunday.  All of next week looks more spring like and I will definitely be spending most of my time outside!  Cannot wait to feel the sun and watch the bare branch trees turn that beautiful color of pale green.  That is a true sign of spring coming!  Wondering if I should cover my hydrangeas as they all have buds on them and with the below freezing temperatures they may not bloom this year:  This happened several years ago when a late freeze burned all the buds and there were no pretty mop heads to be seen!

 

Just finished a cup of soup and oyster crackers, and now waiting for the temperature to warm up before venturing outside.  From my bedroom window I can see the Japanese Maple beginning to bud out, and it is one beautiful sight!

 

Leann and LiveLife I know you are doing everything humanely possible to cross over into a window, but as so many BBs have found, time and patience are your friends.  I have tried so many times to put a band aid on my symptoms (supplements, special diet, exercise) but the wounds remained, only to slowly heal after more time had passed.  Of course it gets old to hear that time and patience is key, but the longer I am away from my post taper date, I can definitely see that some symptoms have gone and others are weakening.  Some days are still minute by minute with symptoms, but mostly I am living pretty normally.  There is no reason to doubt your own healing.  It will come🙏😜🙏😜🙏😜

 

Anxious to hear from others!

 

GG

It is a very cold morning here in the southeast. Very high winds so much so that there’s a wind advisory. A perfect day to Netflix and chillax! Or crochet. I think I’ll be doing both of those. I opened the front door just to get an idea of the wind…..there’s no way my walks will be outside today unless I want to get pushed down 😂 yes it’s that bad! That wind is making it even colder. I’m loving the beautiful white blooms on the crape myrtles lined up around the sidewalks. I think you should cover those buds. If you can.

You speak such truth GG. It’s definitely from your experiences. It is the best teacher. I also find that nothing I’ve tried helps but Father Time. So we just have to be still and wait. That should be the slogan of this forum….Be still and wait. I’m also finally seeing glimpses of my new healed life. As I’m experiencing normal things again, although sooooo slowly, I’m getting more excited and wanting it to speed up so I can do more. 😂 Like a kid wanting to open that big box under the Xmas tree. The one with their name on it! The parents say “ wait before you open that!” Anyway, I’m just happy to see us making healing gains as we let our friend Mr Time take care of the healing. I think I’m going to order myself a pizza on this cold day. Are you able to eat pizza from a restaurant?

[[La...]]

Hello everyone!

 

It’s very cold and windy here in Oklahoma. We had some snow early this morning, but not enough to stick here in SW Oklahoma. Sunny warm days are coming next week!😃

 

I apologize for waiting so long to update, but we have been busy here. My husband has a twin brother who was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. His 10 year relationship with his girlfriend ended abruptly and she asked him to leave. They lived in the Dallas area so my brother in law decided to move closer to my husband and I. He moved in with us 5 weeks ago and we have been helping him move into an apartment for the last week. He and my husband are very close and have not lived in the same city for 50 years. It’s a blessing that he is closer to us because he is going to need our help as his disease progresses.

 

As you can all imagine the last 5 weeks have been stressful at times, not just for me and my husband, but especially for my brother in law. His life has been turned upside down, and his breakup was so unexpected.

 

By God’s Grace and mercy I have been able to function well. My symptoms pop up out of nowhere, but they are manageable. As I look back over the last 5 weeks I’m amazed at how much I’ve healed. I went 4 months of not being able to drive my car, but now I drive without even thinking about it.

 

Leann and LiveLife, I’m so sorry you are both still so symptomatic. I know how horrific and hopeless the symptoms can make you feel. I will never forget the horrific setback I suffered for months. At almost 27 months Benzo free I hope the worst is behind me, but know it’s not linear.

 

LadyDen, like you I know my symptoms are coming when my tinnitus starts screaming at me.

 

GG, I’m so glad you are doing so well. It makes me happy.

 

Sending hugs of gratitude, healing and peace to everyone in this support group

 

Sandy❤️

Wow Sandy you sound great! So glad to hear from you deary! My heart goes out to your BIL. Unfortunately as you all know I just got divorced so I know how it feels to be discarded by someone who you thought loved you especially after being with them a long time. I’m so glad he has you and your husband to help look after him. I’m grateful to have my brother as well. He’s the ONLY family member helping me. It’s even worse to be very sick and alone. But I just keep looking to my Heavenly Father who is my all in all at all times. He will heal me ( he’s already doing that) I will pick up the pieces and began my new life more than likely in a new location. And I won’t look back! I’m going to start over somewhere lovely and new away from people who don’t love me. I will love them from a distance. God knows that if the tables was turned, nothing but death could keep me from being there for my sick kids or family members. In which I’ve done ALL of their lives! I’m shown fake “love” when they need something. Conveniently they ring my phone or show up at my door when they need something. I dont think it dawns on people that one day, it might be them laid up in a bed suffering. So having said that, it’s wonderful and the right thing to do helping your family member. He didn’t ask to be sick and we didn’t either. I’m even more glad that you’ve recovered enough to be of service. You’ll continue to heal nicely and you deserve it, my dear! ♥️❤️

[[La...]]

Hello to all.

 

Leann, I'm sorry you're struggling right now I really hope things start to lighten up for you. I know you've been through a lot and the stress can slow your healing but I do think you're very close. Also, when it comes to age I think you and I are almost the same age. I just don't want to retire because I love my work so much. So, I'm looking forward to getting back to it.

 

LadyDen,

That is so good if when you have waves they're not as bad as they were before. I hope that continues for you and when you get through this wave you will feel better than ever. Sure can be frustrating. No way of figuring out what is going to get worse or better. Just have to stay positive and keep moving forward, still hoping for better days.

 

GG,

Gardening is so therapeutic. I absolutely love hydrangeas so I hope yours are going to be fine. My husband is the one that takes care of our flower gardens and they are so beautiful. But, here in Michigan right now we had snow today hoping to see warmer temperatures coming soon. Thank you for the encouragement. You're right what we need is a lot of patience and more time. Just hoping to see some better days soon. Springtime is one of my favorite Seasons with everything coming to life. I would so love to enjoy it this year.

 

Sandy,

So good to hear from you. And it's also good to know how well you're doing. That is very encouraging. It sounds like you have been through some hectic times and doing well so that is a big positive. I'm sorry to hear about your brother-in-law but it's great he will be nearby. I know that twins are very close. I'm sure your husband will be happy to have him in the same state, and close by. Thank you for your encouragement. It's always appreciated!

 

Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

Yes at the end of the day, all we can do is hope for better days. Get through these waves then we can see the progress we’ve made. Sometimes it’s so very small that I have to look back a couple of months to see it. And some are very noticeable. I had mostly a window yesterday but so far today seems like it might be rougher. Keep me posted on how you’re doing, lovely friend. Hopefully today will be you turning a corner. I know it will be soon. Hang in there.

[[Li...]]

Hello to all. Still really struggling! Been much worse in the  last 3 months, and even more so in the last few weeks.  Not sure what has been happening. I am feeling very discouraged. Trying to hold on to the thought that healing is happening.

 

Leann,

Do you think tapering Unisom would make it any easier?  Just a thought, unless you like the idea of just stopping it and having it out of your system. I understand that too. Hope it's going to get better for you soon.

 

Dea,

I have tried fasting before and it is pretty great. I've read a lot of good things about it. That is something that I try to do from time to time but I can't do a full day.  That's a good idea the way you mentioned 12 hours.

 

LadyDen,

I'm glad that yesterday was a better day for you. I sure hope that today turned out to be even better as the day progressed.

 

Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

[[De...]]

Hey LL - I find the intermittent fasting to be so easy to adhere to.  I do 12:12 almost every day, meaning I eat during the hours of 8am to 8pm, then nothing overnight.  If I extend it to 13:11 or a bit more I actually feel even better. I've read that this triggers autophagy, meaning during those later hours during the fast, since the body doesn't have to digest or metabolize much, it goes into repair mode on a cellular level, getting rid of cellular waste, etc.  I'm wondering if this is key for us.  We are "stuck"in a day to day survival of the status quo, and when we trigger the autophagy we can see some movement forward in healing.

 

As I  mentioned it is a minor physical "stress" on the body, just like exercise.  So it could cause an uptick in symptoms temporarily.  But I kept trying over about a month, and I feel like I can handle it now.  And I have noticed reduced pain and fatigue.

 

I hope you feel better soon.  I have also experienced times when I got worse and couldn't understand why.  But I believe (just my take on it) that when we heal and things get more back to our normal physiology, our nervous system is kind of new and sensitive.  So things that are normal for most uninjured folks are just tough for us.  But we have to keep going through the paces to teach our new system that these activities are OK and normal. 

[[Li...]]

Dea,

 

I agree with everything you said. And it is something that I am trying to work with. Thank you for the encouragement and the reminders. It's appreciated. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[...]]

My symptoms are coming back with a vengeance! Head and face pressure, elevated blood pressure, tinnitus and the anxiety and fear are back just out of nowhere! I’m so tired of living this way!

[[Ga...]]

Hello everyone from GG in a very very very cold Mid-Atlantic❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️!  Can’t believe I was sitting outside a few days ago, and am now looking out at snow and ice!  Luckily, the weather in my area will take a turn upward tomorrow and the week will see temperatures in the 60’s.  So ready for spring, as this type of bitter cold does make my head ache so! 

 

Sandy, I am beyond sad that you are seeing a return of bwd symptoms, especially after you seemed to be handling a very stressful situation with your brother-in-law quite well.  I am as mystified as you are as to why we are still getting a revolving door of symptoms this far out???    I seem to have dropped the awful benzo flu, but I still get hit every now and then with the head pressure and headache.  Today is a headache day, probably because of the frigid cold and the barometric pressure all over the place.  As we well know, stress does play havoc with our still fragile CNS, and you may just be experiencing a short setback and will rebound quickly.  Can you take a respite from family concerns and take care of you?  I imagine that is difficult considering your current family situation, but it may be just what you need in the short term.

 

I will pray for you, Sandy, and continue to send healing hugs!!!!

 

GG

 

And to everyone else, I will post more today if my headache lessens enough for me to put more words to paper.  Thinking of each of you and hope today is more of a window type day!!!!!

 

GG

[[...]]

Thank you, GG! I am taking the day for myself and trying to accept that this is my body trying to heal. I was doing so well for weeks. It’s aways so hard when the symptoms come back after being gone for a while. I’m praying they will go away as quickly as they returned.

 

I hope your headache gets better, GG. Thank you for praying for me.🥰

 

Sandy

[[De...]]

Hi GG and Sandy - sorry you are struggling today :-(  It is true the bitter cold can trigger things.  Cold is a stress on the body and I feel less well even though I'm inside with the thermostat at a toasty 72 degrees.  Somehow the body knows it's COLD out there.  Hmph!!

[[Li...]]

Sandy,

I'm so sorry your symptoms came back with a vengeance. I'm guessing it's probably stress and those will settle down for you soon. Here's hoping you get through today and tomorrow is going to be so much better.

 

GG,

I'm so sorry you're suffering with a headache. Hopefully that will pass quickly. And you'll be back to a better baseline ASAP.

 

I had a bit of a reprieve not really a window but this afternoon my symptoms kind of took a break for a little bit they weren't completely gone but, it felt better. Now they're back. So frustrating! But hopefully that's a good sign.

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[...]]

Thank you, LL. Wishing you well!🥰

[[La...]]

🎀HUGS🎀

To all of you yearlings I feel your suffering. I’m sorry that we feel good for a bit then get slammed again. But as someone said, it’s temporary and part of the process. It’s so annoying and wears us down. But…..as GG said, we will get through this. My prayers are with you all. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Don’t lose hope. This sucks but it is normal. Being this far out, it might be our last bad spell……please god please let it be!

[[...]]

Hugs back at you LadyDen! I’m feeling better this morning. Thank you, Jesus! Still have tinnitus and slight boaty feeling, but my blood pressure is good as is the pressure behind my eyes. Acceptance of what is goes a long way.

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful week. I’m grateful for all of the support from this group.🥰

 

Hugs!

 

Sandy

[[CM...]]

24 months off this week and still struggling. When does this ever end? Really losing hope.

[[Ga...]]

Hi CMZ.  Have you had any improvements at all?  Since you hadn’t posted recently I was so hoping that you were back to enjoying life, or some semblance of it!

 

I am doing pretty well, but still dealing with the off and on head symptoms….I can go for many days with no head pain at all, then out of nowhere the burning, tingling, pressure surprises me with a very unwelcome visit!  On those days I just countdown the minutes with distracting the best I can.

 

It is a horrible experience we are going through, and one which we will never ever have to suffer through again!

 

Hugs,

 

GG

 

[[Li...]]

Sandy,

Thank you for the well wishes and I'm happy to hear that you're doing better today.

 

LadyDen,

Yes we all seem to be in the same place here some kind of way anyway. I had a bit of a reprieve yesterday afternoon and then a little bit in the evening but today has been absolutely horrible! Sure hope tomorrow is going to be better. As you said we'll all get through this and hopefully this could be some of our last worst waves and symptoms. It's time.

 

CMZ,

24 months is quite an accomplishment. I've read that The Closer you get to 2 years the better chance for healing. Some people get a bad wave right before. Have any of your symptoms lightened up? How have you been doing?

 

GG,

So good to hear that your head has improved today. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better for you.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[le...]]

Hope you are all doing OK, still about the same here.I have managed to stay off the unisom, sleep improving gradually. Anxiety not great but guess if was affecting it might take while to improve, but am really glad came off it. Going to flower arranging later today so be a distraction. Think case coming to terms with fact son has lot more affection for my husband than me .He left price tags on out Xmas gifts, husband got golf lessons cost £135, I got earrings  cost £45, probably doesn’t do it intentionally but hurts, I just read book called The Invisible Girl, describes how I feel in my family. Not with you guys I know, thank you for your support.  Least managed get out in garden yesterday, split some perennials and replant.😊

[[de...]]

I have missed keeping up with y'all the past couple of weeks.  I have been super busy.  I have read through some of your posts the last couple of days, and am thinking about all of you. 

 

CMZ:  You and I jumped at the same time.    It will get better for you.  Hang on!  Our healing is right around the corner

 

So, today is my 2 year anniversary.  Wow!  What a journey!!  I never dreamed it would take this long, and unfortunately it is still not over.  I am, however, greatly improved....even in the last few months.  My life is almost back to "normal" even though I am still symptomatic.  I am so grateful for so many things.  So grateful that I have made it this far; there were lots of days when I didn't think I could stand it for one more day, yet here I am.  I am grateful for Benzo Buddies.  What a wonderful source of support and encouragement.  I have said this before, but I will miss y'all once I am no longer on the forum, and I have a feeling that day is right around the corner.  Bittersweet!   

 

We will all heal.    We will all be stronger because of this experience.  We will all have more compassion for those who are suffering.  This is a life changing journey.  I am really hopeful about the future!  God has been with me every step of the way and I know there has been a purpose in my suffering. 

 

Let's all keep taking one day at a time and helping one another get across the finish line!!! 

[[...]]

Congrats on 2 years, Decatur! 🎉 I’m so happy to hear you are doing so well. I look forward to reading your success story!

 

Hugs and Blessings,

 

Sandy🥰

[[Li...]]

Hello to all. I am struggling so badly. My night was unbelievably terrifying with night terrors throughout. I've had this intense chemical fear all day along with other symptoms. I sure hope that this is the worse before it gets better because the worse has been here. I honestly haven't felt this bad since I was in acute withdrawal. Don't know how much longer I can hang on.

 

Hope everyone else is having a window day.

 

Congratulations Lisa on being 2 years out sounds like you're doing good. I'm looking forward to turning that corner soon myself, hopefully!

 

LadyDen,

How are you doing? I hope your wave has passed and your in a beautiful window.

 

Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

[[le...]]

Sorry you are struggling, never had a window day brief or otherwise. I’m struggling, I had rapid cycling symptoms recently, sounds like this is what you are getting. Had them for few days then they pass. Just seem all part of withdrawal merry go round, the chemical fear does seem vary in intensity even after while off, it does seem many feel like they are in acute again.. I’m getting lot physical symptoms back, not eating much, feeling really nauseous all time, so sure it’s just par fir the course live. Sure it will pass for you just give it a day or so and things will pass. It seems a common experience. Just avoid stress, my family still doing my head in, being  continually treated as second best not helping recovery. Look after yourself, things will improve, feeling like in acute again does seem common  symptom for many othersxx

[[La...]]

24 months off this week and still struggling. When does this ever end? Really losing hope.

Unfortunately you’re not the only one far out and still in the struggle.  :'( But, hope is not designed to be lost my friend. Otherwise it wouldn’t be hope. Keep your faith. Stay grounded in your hope. You’ve come a long way. Certainly you’re tired of it all but you don’t have too much further to go. We’re all tired of this. It’s not uncommon to be far out and have a period of what seems like a standstill. Here’s what I think about….it’s like traffic jam! There’s NEVER been one time that a traffic standstill lasts forever. It’s temporary. 

Fixate on your finish line. Stay distracted. It will be all worth it. Those are the thoughts that keep me going.

[[La...]]

Hope you are all doing OK, still about the same here.I have managed to stay off the unisom, sleep improving gradually. Anxiety not great but guess if was affecting it might take while to improve, but am really glad came off it. Going to flower arranging later today so be a distraction. Think case coming to terms with fact son has lot more affection for my husband than me .He left price tags on out Xmas gifts, husband got golf lessons cost £135, I got earrings  cost £45, probably doesn’t do it intentionally but hurts, I just read book called The Invisible Girl, describes how I feel in my family. Not with you guys I know, thank you for your support.  Least managed get out in garden yesterday, split some perennials and replant.😊

Awesome my friend! Great job staying off the unisom. Sleep improving  woooohoooo!

[[La...]]

I have missed keeping up with y'all the past couple of weeks.  I have been super busy.  I have read through some of your posts the last couple of days, and am thinking about all of you. 

 

CMZ:  You and I jumped at the same time.    It will get better for you.  Hang on!  Our healing is right around the corner

 

So, today is my 2 year anniversary.  Wow!  What a journey!!  I never dreamed it would take this long, and unfortunately it is still not over.  I am, however, greatly improved....even in the last few months.  My life is almost back to "normal" even though I am still symptomatic.  I am so grateful for so many things.  So grateful that I have made it this far; there were lots of days when I didn't think I could stand it for one more day, yet here I am.  I am grateful for Benzo Buddies.  What a wonderful source of support and encouragement.  I have said this before, but I will miss y'all once I am no longer on the forum, and I have a feeling that day is right around the corner.  Bittersweet!   

 

We will all heal.    We will all be stronger because of this experience.  We will all have more compassion for those who are suffering.  This is a life changing journey.  I am really hopeful about the future!  God has been with me every step of the way and I know there has been a purpose in my suffering. 

 

Let's all keep taking one day at a time and helping one another get across the finish line!!!

CONGRATS on 2 Years! What a beautiful post! Thank you so much for being so encouraging. Love to you! It’s now only a matter of short time that you WILL be added to the healed warriors. I’m so excited for you.