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Oh Mary, I am just seeing this now.  Yes, at these low does we are still very sensitive.  Ashton manual say .50mg Valium is safe to jump, I don’t think you are quite there yet.

 

Julia, my husband is using a small knife, sometimes I have two small pieces.  He does it, I’m not sure how but it is getting difficult..

 

I guess we just have to be patient..

 

Thanks Laurie - mine uses a pill cutter and a knife so I guess we will figure it out as we go.  It is difficult!!  It will be so nice one day not to have to deal with all this.

 

I agree with what you said to Mary - that does sound like it is too high to jump.  There is no point in suffering when we do not need to.  I like what Mary said - "What is another month or 2"  This is not a race or competition. 

 

Love,

Julia  :smitten:

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Hi everyone I'm going to take a break for a bit.  My mother passed away yesterday.  Please keep my family and me in your prayers.

Love and hugs❤

 

Debbie, I am so incredibly sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother.  Words can't adequately express how sorry I am for your profound loss.  Please know that you, and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.  My heart goes out to you during such an extremely difficult time. 

 

Love,

Mare

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Debbie,

 

I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother. Please know I am thinking about you and you and your family are in my prayers.

 

HM

 

 

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Ladies thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers I appreciate them so much.  This is so very hard and then the waves are awful.  I wanted so much to get off this medicine before something happened to my mom.  She would have turned 90 in August.  I am dreading the next couple of days so bad the viewing tomorrow and the service on Monday.  I just want to be alone but I have a huge family.  Please continue to keep my family and me in your prayers.

Praying that you all have better weeks.

Love to you all ❤

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Oh DD!! I’m so very sorry for your loss of your mother! I am holding you and your family up in prayers. My sincerest condolences and please know I’m sending big hugs to you.

 

Love to you,

Mary

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Hi ladies!

I’m hanging in there. I took away my 3am dose the other day and woke up around 6 with definite interdose withdrawal. I have added it back and am much better. I have decided to go further down than 0.0625mg. I’m going to go down quite a bit further I think. I don’t know if it’s fear or nervousness or what, but I just can’t bring myself to feel bad. I want to stay manageable and hopefully that will help with a manageable jump off. I see my doctor tomorrow and I’ll tell her all of this and she will let me lead it I’m sure. She’s really amazing and has been through this. I figured 0.0625 is still equivalent to 1mg Valium and still 25% of my dose and I feel it’s just too high to jump from for me. What’s two more months of tapering if it’s going to make me deal with it better and be manageable. Or as manageable as I can be. I’m hoping all cuts are going well for you all, and I’m so sorry for the insomnia sufferers. I’m sorry Julia that you had some interdose withdrawal symptoms. They are no fun! Sending good vibes and love and hugs to you all!

 

Mary  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Mary - Thank you!  I will get through it...if you feel you need to stay where you are and go lower before you jump, that is what you should do.  There is no one size fits all in this.  Maybe going lower will also help get you ready emotionally for the jump.  The longer you think about the fact that jumping is coming soon, the longer your brain has time to get used to the idea.  I hope you are doing well today and that re starting your early morning dose is helping you.  Love you!  :hug::smitten:

 

 

Thank you! I’m doing pretty good and hanging in there. I’m going to do my usual five day hold before I can start tapering again. I definitely think the time yet will be beneficial, both emotionally and physically. I’m willing to put in the time if it makes the jump off a little easier. I was glad I put my early morning dose back in. It helped so much. I have been hit with some fatigue so I haven’t been doing much but laying around and watching movies or Olympic trials.  Fun fact for all you ladies……I love the Olympics and am a big Olympic nerd! Lol 😂 I once tried to make my surgeon try to postpone my emergency appendectomy because I wanted to watch our guy go for gold in the luge. Lol 😂 He wouldn’t because they were ready to burst but promised me he would come in and check on me early to tell me the results. Which he did. Haha. I hope you and everyone is doing ok and hanging in there. I told my husband a couple times today again that this is such BS and can’t wait to be done. Recurring theme it seems…..maybe it’s because I’m close but yet not close enough. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs and good vibes!

 

Love Mary

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Good Morning, Ladies! 

 

Thought I'd give you an update. 

 

1) Sorry about removing the math that my son did.  There was one calculation that was off and it threw off the whole thing.  We redid it and if anyone wants a copy, let me know.

 

2) I retyped it and put it in my "notes" on my phone... subsequently made a HUGE error!  My first day of following the .4 milligram dose was a colossal blunder!  I ended up accidentally using the weight for the .325 dose!  HOLY CRAP!  It took me 3 days to recover from it!  Thank God that I caught it by the next morning!

 

I guess that muscle rigidity is going to be my worst symptom.  It's bizarre to me that I am having such a horrible time with it because I don't see many others struggling with this symptom as much as I am.  But let me tell you, what happened at .325 milligrams was downright scary!  By the 3rd dose every tendon and muscle in my body was so rigid and tight that I ended up with braces on both my wrists because it caused an acute case of tendonitis in my hands! To make things worse, My legs and feet were so tight that I was in a ridiculous amount of pain and could barely walk.  I swear to you I was Googling everything known to mankind because I hadn't put it together just yet that I had done the accidental way too low dose.  I honestly still can't wrap my head around how much this drug and this taper are absolute poison to the body.

 

I was on here doing a search about the muscle stuff and only came up with a few results of people who had it as bad as I do.  I have to wonder why if only affects a certain percentage.  Trust me, this goes above and beyond the usual sore or stiff muscles.  This is insane!  Even my intestines (which are smooth muscle) were twitching like crazy.  And I'm not going to gross you out with details of "other" muscles that have been affected.  So how do I know that it's the taper?  Because in my pain and desperation, once I knew that I had only taken @ .275 mgs, I grabbed a .25 mg tablet and downed it!  Guess what, within an hour, I could feel the muscles twitching and relaxing!  It was downright bizarre! 

 

Needless to say that as of yesterday (which was still a bad day), I'm back at .4 milligrams and holding.  I honestly don't understand why my muscles are my weak spot.  It's been like this since the first time that I got to 1 milligram and has never let up. It's held me back from being able to exercise at all!  I've tried stretching, epson salt baths, warm showers, magnesium (which sometimes gives a little relief), but nothing truly works!  I'm so frustrated because it's a constant.  I can't even lean over a counter with my head in my hands without being "stuck" there or experiencing PAIN when trying to stand up... If I lay in bed and have to look downwards to read a book, the muscles in my throat actually tighten up and I start coughing! If I stand for too long in the kitchen, the tendon in my feet ache!  It's all over muscle tightening and pain.  When I mentioned it to my doctor many months ago, he wanted to send me for tests for arthritis.  I never went simply because there's zero inflammation or any of the other teltale signs of arthritis.  Additionally, RA would NOT be immediately relieved by a slight updose of Xanax.  Benzo's may have muscle relaxant properties, but certainly not that quick and at such a low dose.  Pharmacologically, Valium tends to be used far more often for muscle issues than Xanax.  Not all benzo's are created equal.

 

So... what did I learn?  That if I reduce too fast I'll be in a darn body cast!!! 

 

On that note, my fingers are now sore!  This is crazy!  I swear if not for the muscle stuff, I'd be chipping away at this stuff much faster.  Quite frankly, I would have been down this taper a year ago because it was the insane muscle pain and stiffness (let alone tendons) that caused me to updose and hold because I couldn't move!  It is really holding me back.  I can't make plans to do much of anything because I never know how badly it's going to flare up.  And when it's bad, I'm bedbound!  UGH!

 

You just can't make this stuff up! 

 

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!  Not sure if this post was of use to anyone at all (lol) but I just thought I'd throw it out there for anyone else who is having muscle issues. 

 

Love,

Lori

 

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Hi ladies!

I’m hanging in there. I took away my 3am dose the other day and woke up around 6 with definite interdose withdrawal. I have added it back and am much better. I have decided to go further down than 0.0625mg. I’m going to go down quite a bit further I think. I don’t know if it’s fear or nervousness or what, but I just can’t bring myself to feel bad. I want to stay manageable and hopefully that will help with a manageable jump off. I see my doctor tomorrow and I’ll tell her all of this and she will let me lead it I’m sure. She’s really amazing and has been through this. I figured 0.0625 is still equivalent to 1mg Valium and still 25% of my dose and I feel it’s just too high to jump from for me. What’s two more months of tapering if it’s going to make me deal with it better and be manageable. Or as manageable as I can be. I’m hoping all cuts are going well for you all, and I’m so sorry for the insomnia sufferers. I’m sorry Julia that you had some interdose withdrawal symptoms. They are no fun! Sending good vibes and love and hugs to you all!

 

Mary  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Mary - Thank you!  I will get through it...if you feel you need to stay where you are and go lower before you jump, that is what you should do.  There is no one size fits all in this.  Maybe going lower will also help get you ready emotionally for the jump.  The longer you think about the fact that jumping is coming soon, the longer your brain has time to get used to the idea.  I hope you are doing well today and that re starting your early morning dose is helping you.  Love you!  :hug::smitten:

 

 

Thank you! I’m doing pretty good and hanging in there. I’m going to do my usual five day hold before I can start tapering again. I definitely think the time yet will be beneficial, both emotionally and physically. I’m willing to put in the time if it makes the jump off a little easier. I was glad I put my early morning dose back in. It helped so much. I have been hit with some fatigue so I haven’t been doing much but laying around and watching movies or Olympic trials.  Fun fact for all you ladies……I love the Olympics and am a big Olympic nerd! Lol 😂 I once tried to make my surgeon try to postpone my emergency appendectomy because I wanted to watch our guy go for gold in the luge. Lol 😂 He wouldn’t because they were ready to burst but promised me he would come in and check on me early to tell me the results. Which he did. Haha. I hope you and everyone is doing ok and hanging in there. I told my husband a couple times today again that this is such BS and can’t wait to be done. Recurring theme it seems…..maybe it’s because I’m close but yet not close enough. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs and good vibes!

 

Love Mary

 

Hi Mary,  Glad you are doing better with your dose added back.  I do agree this is BS but as you said, you are close.  We are all getting there! 

 

I had to laugh about asking the surgeon to push back your surgery !!!  :yippee: That was hilarious.  I am glad you at least have something to watch that you like and will hopefully distract you!  There is nothing wrong with resting!

 

I think you are doing the right thing!!! 

 

Love you!

Julia

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Ladies thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers I appreciate them so much.  This is so very hard and then the waves are awful.  I wanted so much to get off this medicine before something happened to my mom.  She would have turned 90 in August.  I am dreading the next couple of days so bad the viewing tomorrow and the service on Monday.  I just want to be alone but I have a huge family.  Please continue to keep my family and me in your prayers.

Praying that you all have better weeks.

Love to you all ❤

 

Hi Debbie,  My heart goes out to you and you and your family will remain in my prayers!  I understand not wanting to be around a lot of people, I do not like that either, especially when tapering and having WD.  I am so sorry you are having such a hard time.  I hope things go well today and tomorrow for you!

 

Again, Sending love and prayers!!

Julia  :hug::smitten:

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Good Morning, Ladies! 

 

Thought I'd give you an update. 

 

1) Sorry about removing the math that my son did.  There was one calculation that was off and it threw off the whole thing.  We redid it and if anyone wants a copy, let me know.

 

2) I retyped it and put it in my "notes" on my phone... subsequently made a HUGE error!  My first day of following the .4 milligram dose was a colossal blunder!  I ended up accidentally using the weight for the .325 dose!  HOLY CRAP!  It took me 3 days to recover from it!  Thank God that I caught it by the next morning!

 

I guess that muscle rigidity is going to be my worst symptom.  It's bizarre to me that I am having such a horrible time with it because I don't see many others struggling with this symptom as much as I am.  But let me tell you, what happened at .325 milligrams was downright scary!  By the 3rd dose every tendon and muscle in my body was so rigid and tight that I ended up with braces on both my wrists because it caused an acute case of tendonitis in my hands! To make things worse, My legs and feet were so tight that I was in a ridiculous amount of pain and could barely walk.  I swear to you I was Googling everything known to mankind because I hadn't put it together just yet that I had done the accidental way too low dose.  I honestly still can't wrap my head around how much this drug and this taper are absolute poison to the body.

 

I was on here doing a search about the muscle stuff and only came up with a few results of people who had it as bad as I do.  I have to wonder why if only affects a certain percentage.  Trust me, this goes above and beyond the usual sore or stiff muscles.  This is insane!  Even my intestines (which are smooth muscle) were twitching like crazy.  And I'm not going to gross you out with details of "other" muscles that have been affected.  So how do I know that it's the taper?  Because in my pain and desperation, once I knew that I had only taken @ .275 mgs, I grabbed a .25 mg tablet and downed it!  Guess what, within an hour, I could feel the muscles twitching and relaxing!  It was downright bizarre! 

 

Needless to say that as of yesterday (which was still a bad day), I'm back at .4 milligrams and holding.  I honestly don't understand why my muscles are my weak spot.  It's been like this since the first time that I got to 1 milligram and has never let up. It's held me back from being able to exercise at all!  I've tried stretching, epson salt baths, warm showers, magnesium (which sometimes gives a little relief), but nothing truly works!  I'm so frustrated because it's a constant.  I can't even lean over a counter with my head in my hands without being "stuck" there or experiencing PAIN when trying to stand up... If I lay in bed and have to look downwards to read a book, the muscles in my throat actually tighten up and I start coughing! If I stand for too long in the kitchen, the tendon in my feet ache!  It's all over muscle tightening and pain.  When I mentioned it to my doctor many months ago, he wanted to send me for tests for arthritis.  I never went simply because there's zero inflammation or any of the other teltale signs of arthritis.  Additionally, RA would NOT be immediately relieved by a slight updose of Xanax.  Benzo's may have muscle relaxant properties, but certainly not that quick and at such a low dose.  Pharmacologically, Valium tends to be used far more often for muscle issues than Xanax.  Not all benzo's are created equal.

 

So... what did I learn?  That if I reduce too fast I'll be in a darn body cast!!! 

 

On that note, my fingers are now sore!  This is crazy!  I swear if not for the muscle stuff, I'd be chipping away at this stuff much faster.  Quite frankly, I would have been down this taper a year ago because it was the insane muscle pain and stiffness (let alone tendons) that caused me to updose and hold because I couldn't move!  It is really holding me back.  I can't make plans to do much of anything because I never know how badly it's going to flare up.  And when it's bad, I'm bedbound!  UGH!

 

You just can't make this stuff up! 

 

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!  Not sure if this post was of use to anyone at all (lol) but I just thought I'd throw it out there for anyone else who is having muscle issues. 

 

Love,

Marybeth

 

Hey Marybeth - thanks for posting.  If you do not mind - I would like it if you can post the new infor you and your son did.  I am close behind you and would find it useful to follow for my own taper!!!  Thanks.

 

So glad you figured out what happened and fast!!!  That could have set you back big time like my  double cut (accidental) did me last November - I am still paying for that!! Glad you are better!!

 

Love,

Julia  :smitten: :smitten:

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MB,

 

 

I am so sorry you're having these muscle issues! That sounds really uncomfortable. I have only experienced twitching so far but I am still taking a high dose. I am glad your .25 mg rescue dose actually helped you. Feel better soon.

 

Ladies,

I hope you're all having the best Sunday you can have. I am hiding in the air conditioning since we are having a 110 degree heat wave where I a at. I'm still holding my dose for a few more days, then I'll cut to 1.085 mg day. My sleep is not great although last night I slept better than the night before.

 

Take Care,

 

HM

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MB,

 

 

I am so sorry you're having these muscle issues! That sounds really uncomfortable. I have only experienced twitching so far but I am still taking a high dose. I am glad your .25 mg rescue dose actually helped you. Feel better soon.

 

Ladies,

I hope you're all having the best Sunday you can have. I am hiding in the air conditioning since we are having a 110 degree heat wave where I a at. I'm still holding my dose for a few more days, then I'll cut to 1.085 mg day. My sleep is not great although last night I slept better than the night before.

 

Take Care,

 

HM

 

Hi HM - glad you have air conditioning in the heat wave you are experiencing.  I can not tolerate the heat at this point.  I sit on my porch for a while and have to go back in to cool off and it only 90 here. 

 

Hope you are doing ok too!  This has been another kind of rough day - headache, ear pressure, stomach pain and just do not feel well.  I am going to lay on the sofa and watch tv and hope that helps. 

 

Julia

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Hi ladies! 

Just checking in with everyone. How are you all doing?  Today has been a low day for me. Lots of tears today, and I have no idea why, but xanax does as it pleases and just makes me cry and scrambles my brain in the process. Grrrrrr…….I hate it so much! I also developed extreme fatigue. I don’t know if it’s the lower dose or what but it’s like crushing fatigue but I’m not able to nap. Hard to describe. I also developed what is a somewhat new symptom. It’s extreme itching. Especially of the neck, face, head, and ears. It’s the weirdest thing and it’s relentless. Almost drives you nuts! I’ve had lots of burning and tingling nerves but never this intense itching. I’m holding my dose for a few days right now so maybe it’ll let up. We could only hope. My husband worked a lot this weekend as it was his on call time. He had to go in a lot so I felt a lot of loneliness this weekend I think.

 

MaryBeth, I’m so sorry for your muscle problems. That sounds so awful and miserable. I hope you’ve gotten relief from it. I feel for you.

 

Julia, I’m sorry you are struggling. I hate that for you. I hope those symptoms let up. Thinking of you and sending you hugs!

 

HM, I’d hide in the air conditioning too! Way to hold your dose until you feel you are ready to proceed. You’ve done so well in your taper thus far.

 

Laurie, hope your cut has gone well today. I’m hoping for no big symptoms for you!

 

Debbie, I’m still thinking and praying for you and your family.

 

Hang in there my favorite warriors! You are all amazing and strong! Sending hugs to you all!

 

Love,

Mary  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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Hello ladies,

 

WW, I am sorry your having a rough day. I guess it gets tough as you near the finish. I hope once you taper off completely, that these symptoms ease up considerably for you.

 

MB, I hope your muscle issues are better today. I have kept you in my prayers.

 

DD, I am, also, still praying for you and your family. It will get better.

 

SS, You are also near the finish and having some struggles. I know you're holding and I don't blame you. I hope, for you too, that once you cross that finish line things get better for you.

 

Julia,  I know you have been struggling lately and I pray it eases up for you very soon.

 

I am doing the same. Holding my dose at 1.15 mg until next Friday when I drop to 1.085 mg and hope I can tolerate it. Right now, my symptoms are insomnia (my biggest challenge), air hunger (when I am trying to sleep, not while I am awake), some RLS, mild tremors and mild pins and needles. It's all very tolerable. If I could sleep all night, I'd be fine, although I know as I get lower in dose, it may get harder.

 

Have a great Monday, everyone,

 

HM

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Hi ladies! 

Just checking in with everyone. How are you all doing?  Today has been a low day for me. Lots of tears today, and I have no idea why, but xanax does as it pleases and just makes me cry and scrambles my brain in the process. Grrrrrr…….I hate it so much! I also developed extreme fatigue. I don’t know if it’s the lower dose or what but it’s like crushing fatigue but I’m not able to nap. Hard to describe. I also developed what is a somewhat new symptom. It’s extreme itching. Especially of the neck, face, head, and ears. It’s the weirdest thing and it’s relentless. Almost drives you nuts! I’ve had lots of burning and tingling nerves but never this intense itching. I’m holding my dose for a few days right now so maybe it’ll let up. We could only hope. My husband worked a lot this weekend as it was his on call time. He had to go in a lot so I felt a lot of loneliness this weekend I think.

 

MaryBeth, I’m so sorry for your muscle problems. That sounds so awful and miserable. I hope you’ve gotten relief from it. I feel for you.

 

Julia, I’m sorry you are struggling. I hate that for you. I hope those symptoms let up. Thinking of you and sending you hugs!

 

HM, I’d hide in the air conditioning too! Way to hold your dose until you feel you are ready to proceed. You’ve done so well in your taper thus far.

 

Laurie, hope your cut has gone well today. I’m hoping for no big symptoms for you!

 

Debbie, I’m still thinking and praying for you and your family.

 

Hang in there my favorite warriors! You are all amazing and strong! Sending hugs to you all!

 

Love,

Mary  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Hi Mary,

I am so sorry you had a rough time this weekend.  I am sure it was hard for you to be alone when you were not feeling good.  I have also had that itching but never put it together with the xanax - My feet and head have been itching on and off for a couple months and also my skin has been dry.  I have never had dry skin so it has been irritating.  Sometimes the skin on my arms starts to flake.  I put tons of lotion on but it comes back.  It is frustrating!  I totally understand.

 

I too have periods where  I just cry and cry and for no apparent reason - it drives my husband nuts as he hates to see me cry but it does not last very long usually.  I guess it is just because we have and are going through so many changes with tapering and WD.  Also, you thought you would be finished and you are going to still taper for a bit longer so it could be that your disappointed and crying is your minds way of getting that out.  Subconsciously, our minds do strange things to us and sometimes we do not understand what is going on.  I will be glad when this is over.

 

I think holding is a good idea!  It will get better for you.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.

 

I hope you are having a better day!!

 

I am sending love and hugs and prayers!

 

Love you,

Julia  :hug: :hug: :hug:

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HM - I hope you will be able to feel better soon.  The insomnia is awful to deal with.  Sleep is so important!  We all know when we do not get sleep, everything else is off.

 

I hope you feel better !

 

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

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Hi everyone!

 

I hope you all are improving!  I am still not feeling the greatest but it could be worse.  My stomach hurting is getting on my nerves.  I just want to feel better......  The ear pressure and feeling off balance is relentless right now.  I also have had the eye twitching the last couple days and constant headaches.

I know it will get better.

 

I just have to keep going.

 

Also - I know stress and sadness makes this worse and the last few days I have been watching the news alot about the horrific situation with the condo collapse in Florida! I feel so bad for all of those people!  I pray constantly !!!

 

I hope you all have a better day!

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

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Hi Julia,

 

  I just wanted to say you are in my prayers. I have been watching the news too and it is sad and depressing sometimes. I pray for those families in FL too. I hope your symptoms ease up for you very soon and you have a nice window.

 

Have the best day you can.

 

:hug:

 

HM

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Hi Julia,

 

  I just wanted to say you are in my prayers. I have been watching the news too and it is sad and depressing sometimes. I pray for those families in FL too. I hope your symptoms ease up for you very soon and you have a nice window.

 

Have the best day you can.

 

:hug:

 

HM

 

Hi HM,

Thank you so much!!  Your support and encouragement is so appreciated! The prayers comfort me and I thank you!!  I pray for all of us and pray this nightmare will be over sooner rather than later!  It has been 30 months since I started this taper and I am really ready for this to be done! 

 

Yes, it is so sad for them!  All we can do is pray!!!

 

Thank you for being so kind!!!

 

I too hope you have the best day you can!

 

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

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Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is having a tolerable day!

 

I am feeling some better so I am happy about that!

 

You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Love,

Julia  :smitten:

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Hi everyone  :)

 

I am doing as good as I can today. Not a ton of sleep but no other symptoms beyond feeling a little air hungry when I lay down.

 

 

Other than that, I am doing good. We'll see how I handle my cut on Friday. The lower you get, the more sensitive your brain gets (it seems from what i have read).

 

Happy Tuesday,

 

HM

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Hi everyone  :)

 

I am doing as good as I can today. Not a ton of sleep but no other symptoms beyond feeling a little air hungry when I lay down.

 

 

Other than that, I am doing good. We'll see how I handle my cut on Friday. The lower you get, the more sensitive your brain gets (it seems from what i have read).

 

Happy Tuesday,

 

HM

 

Hoping you get some sleep tonight! 

:smitten:

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Hi everyone  :)

 

I am doing as good as I can today. Not a ton of sleep but no other symptoms beyond feeling a little air hungry when I lay down.

 

 

Other than that, I am doing good. We'll see how I handle my cut on Friday. The lower you get, the more sensitive your brain gets (it seems from what i have read).

 

Happy Tuesday,

 

HM

 

Hoping you get some sleep tonight! 

:smitten:

 

 

Thank you, Julia!

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