Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[Bn...]]

Hi Lori

Haven’t heard from you. Wanted to know how you were. Hello!!!  By the way. Muscle issues are classic benzo withdrawal. However. If your neck continues. Please do get it checked. We are aging.

 

I AM SO INCREDIBLY PROUD ONYOU ON THIS TAPER. WAY TO ROCK IT!!!!

 

Thinking of you always.

 

Kristin

[[Lo...]]

Hi Lori

Haven’t heard from you. Wanted to know how you were. Hello!!!  By the way. Muscle issues are classic benzo withdrawal. However. If your neck continues. Please do get it checked. We are aging.

 

I AM SO INCREDIBLY PROUD ONYOU ON THIS TAPER. WAY TO ROCK IT!!!!

 

Thinking of you always.

 

Kristin

 

Miss you!! So sorry I didn't get back to you! Will catch up soon.

 

Love and hugs! Still so incredibly proud of and happy for you!

 

Lori. 

[[to...]]

Hi Lori,

 

Glad to see you are back with updates.  i have been thinking about you!!

 

Thanks,  I know what brought it on so I am not concerned about the panic attacks reoccurring but I can tell you, it was BAD.  Probably one of the worst I have ever had! Thats also probably because I was driving when it was happening too. 

 

When I went to the therapist - it went better than I thought and I gave him and education and I am hoping he will do more research on this - he says he will but who knows.  I said to him what I needed to and I felt better.  I will only be going back if I feel I need to.  I go to the other doctor tomorrow and get my prescription. 

 

I had a couple other things happen last week so I had to stop the DLMT for a few days.  Will tell you about that later.....  But I have had a really rough week and am starting to feel better so I am hoping to start the DLMT on Thursday. 

 

How is your taper going?  Good I hope.  I see you went down - good for you!!  Did you start the DLMT too? 

 

Sorry you are having such pain in your muscles.  Like you have said - when you are not getting any exercise for 2 years, anything you do physically is hard on you.  I hope you will start feeling better.

 

Take care!!!

 

Julia

[[Lo...]]

Hi Lori,

 

Glad to see you are back with updates.  i have been thinking about you!!

 

Thanks,  I know what brought it on so I am not concerned about the panic attacks reoccurring but I can tell you, it was BAD.  Probably one of the worst I have ever had! Thats also probably because I was driving when it was happening too. 

 

When I went to the therapist - it went better than I thought and I gave him and education and I am hoping he will do more research on this - he says he will but who knows.  I said to him what I needed to and I felt better.  I will only be going back if I feel I need to.  I go to the other doctor tomorrow and get my prescription. 

 

I had a couple other things happen last week so I had to stop the DLMT for a few days.  Will tell you about that later.....  But I have had a really rough week and am starting to feel better so I am hoping to start the DLMT on Thursday. 

 

How is your taper going?  Good I hope.  I see you went down - good for you!!  Did you start the DLMT too? 

 

Sorry you are having such pain in your muscles.  Like you have said - when you are not getting any exercise for 2 years, anything you do physically is hard on you.  I hope you will start feeling better.

 

Take care!!!

 

Julia

 

Hi Julia!  I've been thinking of you.  How is the liquid taper going?  I saw you had a little bump but hope that it's all been worked out. 

 

As you can see, I've updosed.  I'm going to stay here for two weeks but am going to do the liquid taper as well.  Cut and hold worked well for awhile but these past two months have been brutal!  UGH! 

 

Keep me posted on how you're doing!

 

Love,

Lori

[[to...]]

Hi Lori,

I am hanging in there.  This is the second day of the DLMT and its been a little tough.  Probably because I changed my dose times and amounts and its not setting well but it is getting better.

 

I am glad you decided to do what you need to do even if that is to up dose for now.  You need a break I am sure.

 

Keep me posted and please take care of yourself.

Love,

Julia

[[Wh...]]

Hi everyone. I hope it's ok that I post here, I'm 25 and have been on 1-1.5mg of Xanax for the last 6 years. It's been exactly a year since I started dry cutting and today I am at .325 mgs. This has been so hard! I'm glad to see other people are having success with and are supporting each other through direct tapers of Xanax, it really gives me hope.

[[to...]]

WhimsyWarrior - yes you can post here, all are welcome!  I am so sorry you have had such a hard time.  Sounds like your DOC was not understanding at all. 

 

I am proud of you.  You have come along way on your own.

 

Have you ever considered a direct liquid micro taper?  It sounds difficult but actually it is so much easier than dry cutting.  You are actually going down a little bit every day and your body does not really notice and makes the symptoms almost diminish.  I just started mine and it is helping me already.  Dry cutting and holding has been hard.

 

Take care and post here anytime you want.  Welcome!!

[[Lo...]]

Well, updosing doesn't seem to be working. Sure the dizziness is pretty much gone. However, the horrible neck and shoulder pain is relentless! It wakes me all throughout the night which is a real joke since insomnia has been gone for over a month. Additionally, the tightness in my abdomen is relentless.

 

At this point I wonder if these side effects will remain for the duration of my taper. So frustrating! I'll give it a few more days at 1.35 but if this doesn't let up I don't know what to do.

 

Do I quickly go back down to .95 (where I was last week) and just deal with this?

Updose to 1.5 and try that?

Taper from the 1.35?

 

Again, I simply didn't see this coming. I'm worried about my physical health! To add insult to injury, acid reflux and dry cough have been relentless. Oh, and my Cologuard test just came back positive. Right about now I'm convinced that I have both lung and colon cancer.

 

Lori

 

[[to...]]

Hi Lori,

 

I am so sorry you are still having so many problems.  For me, it took a long to stabilize when I was put back on Xanax after the cold turkey, months actually.  It may be that you need  to up dose to 1.5 and give it a couple weeks and see if it helps. (Or even the last dose you were stable at)  Being put back on the Xanax was what helped me - for a few months anyway and then it became toxic to me but - after the cold turkey and I got so very ill Xanax is what I had to take to stabilize. 

 

I wish I knew how to help you.  I would suggest going to your doctor but I know that has not helped you at all before.

 

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

L, Julia

[[Ho...]]

So my taper story so far, and I offer this as advice, not as "hey look at me!"

 

When I first thought I'd taper xanax last year, I cut 25% of my daily dose. Sometimes I missed one of my two daily doses and it didn't seem to bother me, so I thought cutting half of one of my two daily doses was a good idea. That lasted 2 days before I freaked out and reinstated. It took me a week to even just start to feel better.

 

I then researched the whole taper thing, mainly on BB. I planned out my daily liquid micro taper, bought all the supplies, and started to taper a month after my failed 25% cut.

 

The DLMT went really well. I had holds here and there, but I started at 1 mg per day and got down to 0.05 mg per day in the course of about 7 months. There was even a manufacturer change in the middle of it, because I switched pharmacies. It made me nervous, but the change went off without a hitch.

 

Then there was another manufacturer change (because I switched pharmacies again). And suddenly it felt like I went cold turkey! It was awful. I updosed. I updosed again. I updosed again. Each updose was a quarter of a 0.5 mg tablet, or 0.125 mg. I finally stabilized at 0.625 mg. I kept it there for several weeks, since I was planning a trip abroad and didn't want to deal with liquid or making the solution while I was traveling.

 

When I got back from my trip I started tapering again with the liquid. It took 2 months to go from 0.625 mg to 0.5 mg. No I'm holding again with no liquid. I take a quarter of a tablet 4 times a day. I tried to switch over to liquid again last week so I could start tapering again, but that did not feel good at all.

 

I don't know where I was going with all that. But if you've only been on the updosed dose for a week, and, as you say, since you do feel a little better, I say give this dose another week before you decide to raise the dose again.

 

 

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

Ok. You are low enough in your dose that you are experiencing a lot. The muscle pain is your body waking. We were very sedated for a long time. The muscle pain is helped with warm water. Like baths. I used Epsom salts. I had that too. The reflux is common. Lots of people drink apple cider vinegar for that. The cough. Also I had that. Tapering affected my lungs. My guts. So many systems. Skin too. Be patient with yourself. You are doing so well. I’m so proud of you.

 

Kristin

[[Lo...]]

Thanks everyone! The updose to 1.25 helped immensely! The tightness in abdomen has been gone for 3 days now as well as all dizziness. Neck and shoulders are still sore but that's to be expected.

 

Going to stay at this dose for another week. Will the resume my taper using DLMT and at a slower pace. Looking back I started making cuts based on a time frame versus symptom based and it really caught up with me.

 

I'm currently at my sisters beach house and actually enjoying it! What a concept!!

 

Hope all are doing well!

 

Lori

[[Ji...]]

Thanks everyone! The updose to 1.25 helped immensely! The tightness in abdomen has been gone for 3 days now as well as all dizziness. Neck and shoulders are still sore but that's to be expected.

 

Going to stay at this dose for another week. Will the resume my taper using DLMT and at a slower pace. Looking back I started making cuts based on a time frame versus symptom based and it really caught up with me.

 

I'm currently at my sisters beach house and actually enjoying it! What a concept!!

 

Hope all are doing well!

 

Lori

Hi Lori- glad things have turned around for you!  I know I went really fast during my taper but everyone is different and you need to go at your own pace.

 

My update is that I fell asleep on the couch pretty much all week without the Remeron but I would wake up, feed my son, take the Propranlol and Remeron and head to bed. Well, last night I took the Propranlol and slept really well. I’ve had some weight gain and muscle stiffness that I’m pretty sure the Remeron is the cause of and since I haven’t taken any X in over a month I feel like my body is returning to normal.

 

I will say this: X was a cause to much of my anxiety and the longer I have been off the more I realize this. My internal tremors are rare where before they were almost constant. I’m clear headed,  more quick in a conversation and actually feel like a person again. It has slowly crept up but I’m feeling pretty good!

 

Everyone will get there!  Just keep up the hard work and you too will feel better!

[[to...]]

Hi All,

 

Lori, I am so happy that you are feeling better.  That is great news.  I am glad you are enjoying the shore.  That is where we would love to be right now.  We will get there one day.  Keep up the good work.  This is turning around for you and that is fantastic.

 

Jim - Awesome - I am happy for you too.  Thanks for the update and it is encouraging!!!  We do heal, that is what we all need to hear and remember.

 

I am hanging in there.  Started the DLMT a couple weeks ago and at first I had a couple rough patches but I am getting there.  I have gotten my dosing and times where I am getting stable with it.  I am going down slowly everyday and I am happy about that.

 

Everyone take care and remember we are all in this together and it does get better - there are so many people here that are a testament to that.

 

Love to all!!  Julia 

[[to...]]

Spoke too soon - a couple days ago started having bad headaches, but am trying to adjust and figure out what I need to do.......

[[to...]]

Hi all,

 

Lori - are you still feeling better?  I hope so.  Sounds like you made the right move for you!!

 

I am trying to make adjustments to feel better.  I know I will get there.

 

Take care all.

 

Julia

[[Po...]]

Hi Guys. I’ve been following along on this thread. I’m just wondering how everyone is doing?

 

Tolnbltp- did you figure out the dosing and your headache situation?

 

Lori- how are you feeling?

 

I am currently using liquid to taper down my largest dose. So I am going super slow. It’s been ok but I just don’t feel like myself. I’m at 2.0 of Xanax and feel like this is going to take forever.

 

Take care everyone.

 

[[Lo...]]

Hello all!

 

I have refrained from posting because I didn't want to be negative. Oh, how I'm so tired of complaining! In a nutshell, the updose really only helped for about 3 days. My stomach is back to being so incredibly tight! But here's an odd one, yesterday, after over three weeks of crazy pain, my shoulders and neck just completely relaxed. Of course I probably just jinxed myself!

 

I simply can't make heads or tails of all of this. My taper was symptomatic from day one but I had been experiencing interdose w/d for years and I honestly was prepared to continue to feel like crap especially tapering such a short acting Benzo. But this past month has just been horrible. Honestly, it's been my worst since I sarted this well over a year ago. I'm truly perplexed. Again, I never expected a walk in the park, but these physical sxs are rough!

 

I had my 3 month check up with my doctor on Thursday. He wants me to put my taper on hold and for me to "try to enjoy" my summer! What the heck? I just ignored him. Does he really think that uts THAT easy? As if just holding at a dose that I'll never be "stable" at is going to help me have a great summer? These doctors have no clue! .... And he's one of the "good ones" who has allowed me to 100% control my taper rate. Don't get me started. I guess he means well. Maybe after 3 years (that's how long we been either discussing it/working it out/or tapering) he's worn out too!

 

So my dilemma.... I went up to 1.3-4 but granted, I wasn't consistent. However it was always higher than the .95?i had gotten down to. I'm just not sure where to go from here. Today I'm st 1.25 and will probably do this tomorrow as well. I wasn't sure if I could just go back down to 1.0 or .95 and keep plugging along since I had held at 1.0 for a month. Or once you updose for any amount of time, does your body readjust to a higher dose that quickly and you have to go from there? Who knows?

 

Julia: How are you? I truly hope that you're feeling better on this last reduction! Please know that despite my lack of contact, I have been thinking of you!!

 

Pearl, how are you making out?

 

And to all others on this thread, I hope you're all hanging in there! Hopefully my next post will be more positive. I'm just exhausted and running out of patience!!!!  I thought I'd be finished in about 2 months. Not a chance!! Dammit!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[to...]]

Hi all,

 

I am still having headaches but they are getting less intense.  I went back to all pills.  I know I am super sensitive to meds and the delivery system and I am guessing since I am feeling better, I will stick with the pills at this point.

 

PowerPearl - thanks for asking, I am hanging in there.  Think I am going to stay at the dose I am at now for at least another week unless I feel super better before then.  Cuts will not be big as they have been though.

 

Lori - I am glad you updated everyone.  Sorry you are still having trouble and issues.  I was so hoping that you were doing well and were just enjoying a break since you had not been on BB for awhile.  I am thinking about you too.  It has been a rough 6 weeks for me but I think I will be better soon.  I am hoping and praying so anyway.

 

Take care all.

Julia

[[Ba...]]

Lori

 

Ok. You are low enough in your dose that you are experiencing a lot. The muscle pain is your body waking. We were very sedated for a long time. The muscle pain is helped with warm water. Like baths. I used Epsom salts. I had that too. The reflux is common. Lots of people drink apple cider vinegar for that. The cough. Also I had that. Tapering affected my lungs. My guts. So many systems. Skin too. Be patient with yourself. You are doing so well. I’m so proud of you.

 

Kristin

 

The cough?  I've had a cough,  bad one, for yaers now!!  Hard to believe it would be benzos???  Is a really bad, violent cough a symptom?

 

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

I hate that you are struggling. I cannot wait for you to be off. Keep plugging away. You can do it. I know the symptoms suck. Off is the best. I can look around and find stories. If you want. I got your call. Call me anytime I have company and we have a crazy huge party for the 4th. I’m here though.

 

Kristin.

 

We all heal!

[[Ji...]]

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in to see how the group is doing. Looks like there have been a couple bumps in the road but I’ll continue to let you know that there is hope. It’s odd, it hasn’t been 2 months yet but I can’t really remember the last bit of my taper. I attribute that to the drugs and maybe how difficult it was. I haven’t taken any benzo since 5/10 which is refreshing and I’ve only taken Remeron once this week which is a bonus as well. It seems like I have a bad night once every 1 1/2 - 2 weeks. With those bad nights come a bit of a set back in terms of feeling like I’m 100% but I’ll take it for now.

 

Everyone needs to keep going!  As you get into the lower doses you’ll feel more for sure but you have to embrace everything and use it to gain confidence. Also, don’t focus on your taper. The best thing I did when I was tapering was not go on this site. There’s so many people on here struggling that it can really get to you.  I know it seems it’s easier said than done but this is a mental game that you can win. In February I would have told you I would never be able to sleep without benzos let alone Remeron. I’ve been able to do both while caring for two young children and handling a high profile sales job. This can be done.

[[to...]]

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in to see how the group is doing. Looks like there have been a couple bumps in the road but I’ll continue to let you know that there is hope. It’s odd, it hasn’t been 2 months yet but I can’t really remember the last bit of my taper. I attribute that to the drugs and maybe how difficult it was. I haven’t taken any benzo since 5/10 which is refreshing and I’ve only taken Remeron once this week which is a bonus as well. It seems like I have a bad night once every 1 1/2 - 2 weeks. With those bad nights come a bit of a set back in terms of feeling like I’m 100% but I’ll take it for now.

 

Everyone needs to keep going!  As you get into the lower doses you’ll feel more for sure but you have to embrace everything and use it to gain confidence. Also, don’t focus on your taper. The best thing I did when I was tapering was not go on this site. There’s so many people on here struggling that it can really get to you.  I know it seems it’s easier said than done but this is a mental game that you can win. In February I would have told you I would never be able to sleep without benzos let alone Remeron. I’ve been able to do both while caring for two young children and handling a high profile sales job. This can be done.

 

I am so glad you are doing well!  I have been wondering how you are.  Sounds like for the most part you are doing great!  I am so happy for you.  I am having issues still but am trying to work through them.  Went back on just pills and that has helped me alot.  I plan to make another cut in a few days.  I have a traumatic event (anniversary of something bad that happened when I was a child, hell , I will say it - my Dad committed suicide on July 3, 1971 and was buried on my 7th birthday which is on the 5th. )  This week and usually a month before it gets here is always hard.  PTSD and anxiety set in heavy for this week, but I am hanging in there.  Does not help that I saw him right after he did it.

 

Once I get through this week I will make another cut and will down to 2.0 mg a day.  I am at 2.146 right now and have been here for almost 20 days so I think I am ready to go down again.  2.0 mg will be a milestone for me and give me the encouragement to keep going to get off this Xanax.

 

Hope you and everyone here has a good holiday.

 

Take care and keep us all posted on how you are doing !  Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you are doing.  It does give me hope!!

 

Julia

[[Lo...]]

The one month hold at 1.0 mgs was brutal. The updose gave me a few really good days here and there but they did not last. Muscle issues came back with a vengeance! The only thing I can think of is that after having been on this for decades... most of which were at 4.0 mgs, that my body is pretty much screaming to just continue to taper no matter how bad I feel. There's no going back now.

 

I guess I was looking for a small window of being functional as this taper has literally consumed the last 2+ years of my life.  My body and mind are exhausted! But the reality is that I'm most likely never going to feel much better until I'm off of this completely. I simply wanted a small reprieve to regroup and recharge.

 

I was hoping to have just a little bit of quality time with my son while he's home from college. I'm so tired of feeling so crappy and being such a shred of my former self! This is NOT how I like my son to see me!  This may very well be the last summer that he lives with us. I also didn't want him to be put out by having to listen to me. Uts not fair to him. But at the end of the day, I have to concentrate on moving forward with this horrible journey and pray that by this time next year, I'll be out there among the LIVING again!

 

Time to return to combat!

 

Hope all are doing well!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

 

.  I have a traumatic event (anniversary of something bad that happened when I was a child, hell , I will say it - my Dad committed suicide on July 3, 1971 and was buried on my 7th birthday which is on the 5th. )  This week and usually a month before it gets here is always hard.  PTSD and anxiety set in heavy for this week, but I am hanging in there.  Does not help that I saw him right after he did it.

 

Once I get through this week I will make another cut and will down to 2.0 mg a day.  I am at 2.146 right now and have been here for almost 20 days so I think I am ready to go down again.  2.0 mg will be a milestone for me and give me the encouragement to keep going to get off this Xanax.

 

Hope you and everyone here has a good holiday.

 

Take care and keep us all posted on how you are doing !  Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you are doing.  It does give me hope!!

 

Julia

 

Dear Julia,

 

Please know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers all morning!  I know that today and Friday are extremely difficult for you and I want you to know that you're never alone! I'm sure your husband is taking extra special care if you during this difficult and painful time. But know that I (and others) are with you as well.

 

Sending hugs of comfort and healing your way!

 

Love you tons and will talk to you soon. 

 

Love,

Lori