Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[Ji...]]

Thanks Lala- I’m think I’m going to stick to 0.0625 for the weekend plan to jump next Friday.  It’s probably for the best.

 

So close!

[[Lo...]]

Hi everyone!  Hope things are going as well as they can be.

 

Anyway, I worked my way down to 0.125mg and decided to try to jump last night. I didn’t hold myself to it since I know I’ve done a rapid taper but I’ve been falling asleep on the couch before I even get to bed (insomnia was the reason for this mess) the last couple nights so I wanted to see how it would go.

 

Well, I’ve been using a CPAP machine for the last year and a half and of course the night I try to jump is when it decides to lose it’s seal and it kept me awake even after passing out for 20 minutes on the couch.  It’s frustrating since I did well staying calm and almost pulled it off. I decided to take 0.0625mg and some more Remeron which did the trick after I was able to fix my machine.

 

My question is, at what point have people been able to jump?  Was I crazy to try 0.125?  I know it’s variable but just trying to get a feel for what other people have seen work. I’ve tried searching but it’s a mess because “Xanax” and “jump” are in practically every post. Also, I read that 0.5mg of V is the normal jumping off point but I can’t get a firm number of what that equals for X. Some sites say it’s 1mg of X equals 10mg of V but then there’s a range that could almost double that.

 

Any help would be appreciated.

 

Hi Jim.

 

To be honest, "jumping" seems different for many.  I've seen some people jump at exactly where you are, some at .025 or less (and to be honest, I don't know how to get that low other than with liquid - but that seems really low as in, what's the point of prolonging the agony) and some have stepped off at a much higher dose.  I think it's an individual thing.  I guess the bottom line is that where you feel most comfortable.  If side effects are barely there then my thought (my own opinion) would be that you'd be fine.  Keep us posted and wishing you much luck!

 

Also, I've consistently read that 1 mg of Xanax equals 10 mg of Valium. 

 

You could always post this question on the message boards under general taper plans and I'm sure you'd get some answers.

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Hello all!

 

Julia, sorry I haven't responded.  My mom made it through surgery but they had to take her back 3 hours later and put in a pacemaker.  So far, so good!  Thank God!

 

Heading out to see her in 20 minutes but wanted to drop a quick note.

 

Still stomach issues.  I'm leaning towards gastritis.  GI appointment on  Tuesday.  Had a few tests done this week but will need upper endoscope to confirm.  Oh, joy!  Just started Protonix 2 days ago and hoping that helps.  H.Pylori came back negative.  At least no antibiotics for that!

 

Did make the cut to 1.0  So far, other than my always present dizziness and the GI issues, nothing worse or better so I'm fine with that.  If the GI stuff would go away, I could handle everything else!  Was proud of myself that I made it all day at the hospital through 2 surgeries and 14 hours and was relatively okay. 

 

Hope all are doing well!  Will be in touch when I can.  Really hectic few days. 

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Thanks Lala- I’m think I’m going to stick to 0.0625 for the weekend plan to jump next Friday.  It’s probably for the best.

 

So close!

 

Good Luck, Jim! Hoping all goes smoothly on Friday!  Will be thinking of you!  You got this! 

 

Lori

[[to...]]

Hi all,

 

Lori - I am so happy about your Mom - that is great news!!!  I am sorry you are still having stomach issues.  I know for me this gastritis just does not want to go away.  The endoscopy showed it is still there and I just wish I knew what to do to make it go away.  I am taking the prilosec but it does not do alot.  My stomach was feeling better until today and this has been a very rough day for me.  I feel awful.  I am trying to keep busy and keep my mind on other things but it is not working so I may have to lay down.

 

This is day 8 of this cut and for some reason it is hitting me hard which is unusual for me - usually I get hit on day 3 or 4 and then for a couple days I feel bad and then feel ok until the next cut......

 

Congrats on the cut to 1.0.  You can do this - we all can - we just have to keep plugging along and praying and doing what our bodies tells us to do to get through this nightmare.

 

Take care - I hope everyone is doing well.

 

Julia

[[to...]]

Hi Jim,

One day at a time - I think you are doing great and will be so happy when I got down to where you are.  I am at 2.25 mg X and I hate that it is taking so long to get off but I know it takes time.  I think you did the right thing with taking the X and you can try again and see what happens.  Your body will let you know if it is ok.

 

Take care all!

 

Julia

[[to...]]

Hi All,

 

I hope things are going well, as well as they can.

 

I am a little better today, thank goodness.  Yesterday was miserable and actually the night before.

 

Lori - I hope your Mom continues to do well - I am thinking of you both and keeping you in my prayers.  I hope you get some answers about your stomach.  Mine is a little better today.  My memory is on the fritz lately so I am not sure why its going backwards on me lately. 

 

Jim - I hope you are doing well too.

 

Julia

[[to...]]

following

[[Lo...]]

Still cruising along.  No better, but no worse! 

 

Hope all are doing well!

 

Lori

[[Ji...]]

Still cruising along.  No better, but no worse! 

 

Hope all are doing well!

 

Lori

One day post jump. Feel good, but not considering it a success story yet.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay!

[[Lo...]]

 

One day post jump. Feel good, but not considering it a success story yet.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay!

 

Way to go, Jim!  Awesome news!  You got this, my friend! 

 

Please keep us posted.  The "beast" is behind you!  Wishing you complete healing!

 

Fondly,

 

Lori

 

[[la...]]

 

One day post jump. Feel good, but not considering it a success story yet.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay!

 

 

CONGRATS!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[[to...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is having a decent day.  Its hard to say GOOD day with this taper and Xanax but there is hope!!!

 

Happy Mother's Day to the Mom's out there.

 

Lori - I got your message but have not been feeling very well.  Hopefully you are doing better.

 

Julia

[[Ji...]]

Thanks everyone!  Day two down with no ill effects! 

 

Please everyone, keep going!  I feel so much better...  there is hope.

[[Sa...]]

Thanks everyone!  Day two down with no ill effects! 

 

Please everyone, keep going!  I feel so much better...  there is hope.

 

Congratulations!!

 

SaraSue

[[to...]]

Hello all,

 

Jim - how are you doing?  Great I hope.  I see you jumped and are doing well on day 2.  How are things now?  Thanks for the encouragement about there is hope.  I am having a rough time right now, symptoms come and go daily the last week or so.  Maybe this last cut was too much, IDK.  Just trying to stabilize so I can make another cut, I think making a smaller cut would be what I need to do.  Am considering the liquid taper.  It just seems like so much to figure out and I am not in a good place to do anything that requires alot of thinking or math.

 

Lori - hope you doing well.

 

Hope everyone else is hanging in there.

 

Julia

[[Ma...]]

Good luck Lori

[[Ji...]]

Hello all,

 

Jim - how are you doing?  Great I hope.  I see you jumped and are doing well on day 2.  How are things now?  Thanks for the encouragement about there is hope.  I am having a rough time right now, symptoms come and go daily the last week or so.  Maybe this last cut was too much, IDK.  Just trying to stabilize so I can make another cut, I think making a smaller cut would be what I need to do.  Am considering the liquid taper.  It just seems like so much to figure out and I am not in a good place to do anything that requires alot of thinking or math.

 

Lori - hope you doing well.

 

Hope everyone else is hanging in there.

 

Julia

 

Hi Julia- sorry I missed your message and hope things have turned around for you.  The taper was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and I know I try to keep it positive most of the time but man there were some days that I just wanted to give up. I didn’t and neither should you...  one step closer to your goal of feeling 100%!!!  It’ll happen for you, no doubt in my mind.

 

What’s funny is during my taper things followed a fairly distinct pattern that I could almost set a watch to. But this past week it really has been waves and windows that people have been talking about. I used to think it was a bunch of baloney but I kinda get it now. I hit a bit of a rough patch on Wednesday then fought through it and got to the weekend and felt awesome. Almost close to the 85/90% range which is incredible. I slept well, really well. Maybe too well. When I went to bed last night I was just... awake. I gave in and took a Benadryl at 2am and it knocked me out within half an hour but I had to be up at 6:30 so my body went from totally relaxed to a bit of anxiety today about the trouble sleeping.  I pushed pretty hard to get off this stuff and I know it’s not going to be perfect but even a little trouble sleeping shakes me up a bit since that’s how my issues presented themselves.  I stayed calm and accepted the issues but it’s so hard to get out of the negative thought spiral when you’re just laying there.

 

I did re-read the “What’s happening in your brain” stickied post and it did help a little bit.  I guess one day I’ll be 100% and I’m pretty impatient if I’m expecting it this quickly but it’s hard when you have a taste of it then there’s a setback. I keep thinking back to “healing is not linear” and it’s so true... sometimes I wish it wasn’t and things would follow a somewhat predictable path. It would be a tad bit easier!

[[Ji...]]

Hi everyone!  It has been quiet around here and I’ll take that as a good sign.  2 weeks post jump!  Feeling good overall with a ton of normalcy...  just a couple nights of bad rest but other than that, I cannot complain.  There’s a ton of stress in my life but I’ve been doing really well considering the circumstances. Next thing to kick is the low dose Remeron which I’m not sure is helping anyway. I’ll probably chip away at it in a week or two.

 

I’m here to help so if anyone needs advice feel free to reach out!

[[to...]]

Hi Jim,

Sorry I missed your message too!!  Thank you for responding.  I am so happy for you.  Two weeks post jump must feel fantastic even if you do have a couple issues here and there.  That has got to be better than what you suffered through for so long.

 

I am on day 28 of this past cut and am thinking of doing another on Tuesday but I really do not know how much to cut this time.  I have been doing .25 mg cuts of the X and until this past cut I was doing ok on them.  Since it has been almost a month on this cut, I am thinking of trying the .25 one more time and then go to the liquid taper.  Have any thoughts on that?

 

I went to my doctor last week and she increased my Priilosec back up to 40 mg from the 20 and that did not go well at all.  After 2 days of really bad stomach pain I went back down to 20 and after a couple days my stomach is almost back to normal.  She has me on it for chronic gastritis not acid reflex - I do not have that thank goodness.  I found months ago that I can not take Prilosec at the same time as I take X in the mornings because it does make my stomach hurt.  I have to take the X and then wait an hour and take the Prilosec and then eat.

 

I hope you are doing well and again, I am so happy for you. 

 

Take care.

 

Julia

[[to...]]

Panic Attack

 

The strangest thing just happened to me.  I had not been able to drive for a long time and since I have been tapering and getting better, I have been able to drive short distances by myself, like 2-3 miles to the grocery store.  This morning I went to the Food Lion by myself and I do not know what happened but I had a panic attack.  I was so scared I would not get home.  We sold my car last year because I could not drive anymore due to panic and the dose of Xanax I was on so there was no way my husband could have come to get me.  I did make it home ok but my husband could tell right away I was NOT ok.  He had me sit down and try to calm down.  I had to take half of my 1:00 dose of Xanax to calm down.

The only thing I can think of that would bring this on is that I have not seen my therapist in 3 months and have an appointment with him in the morning.  I do not want to see him but my psychiatrist said he wanted me to keep seeing the therapist right now and I am afraid if I don't, he will stop writing my prescriptions and I need them to do my taper.  I blame the therapist for my getting on such a high dose of the Xanax because he kept saying i needed to increase the dose and I did what I was told to do.  When I wanted to get off the Xanax the therapist asked me why- he said he had taken it many different times and when he stopped taking it he had no problem and that he felt that I needed it for my anxiety and panic attacks.  Its strange that I had not had one since I started tapering and had not been seeing him.  Now I have to see him tomorrow and have had a MAJOR panic attack today. 

 

Anyway - I am trying to calm down and stop crying and shaking.

 

I am slowing getting better now.  I think writing this is helping.

 

Thanks for being there.

 

Julia

 

It's crazy what the mind will do to you.

[[Lo...]]

Good luck Lori

 

Thanks, Matt!

 

How are you? It's been awhile. Hope you're doing well!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Hello all,

 

Jim - how are you doing?  Great I hope.  I see you jumped and are doing well on day 2.  How are things now?  Thanks for the encouragement about there is hope.  I am having a rough time right now, symptoms come and go daily the last week or so.  Maybe this last cut was too much, IDK.  Just trying to stabilize so I can make another cut, I think making a smaller cut would be what I need to do.  Am considering the liquid taper.  It just seems like so much to figure out and I am not in a good place to do anything that requires alot of thinking or math.

 

Lori - hope you doing well.

 

Hope everyone else is hanging in there.

 

Julia

 

Hi Julia- sorry I missed your message and hope things have turned around for you.  The taper was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and I know I try to keep it positive most of the time but man there were some days that I just wanted to give up. I didn’t and neither should you...  one step closer to your goal of feeling 100%!!!  It’ll happen for you, no doubt in my mind.

 

What’s funny is during my taper things followed a fairly distinct pattern that I could almost set a watch to. But this past week it really has been waves and windows that people have been talking about. I used to think it was a bunch of baloney but I kinda get it now. I hit a bit of a rough patch on Wednesday then fought through it and got to the weekend and felt awesome. Almost close to the 85/90% range which is incredible. I slept well, really well. Maybe too well. When I went to bed last night I was just... awake. I gave in and took a Benadryl at 2am and it knocked me out within half an hour but I had to be up at 6:30 so my body went from totally relaxed to a bit of anxiety today about the trouble sleeping.  I pushed pretty hard to get off this stuff and I know it’s not going to be perfect but even a little trouble sleeping shakes me up a bit since that’s how my issues presented themselves.  I stayed calm and accepted the issues but it’s so hard to get out of the negative thought spiral when you’re just laying there.

 

I did re-read the “What’s happening in your brain” stickied post and it did help a little bit.  I guess one day I’ll be 100% and I’m pretty impatient if I’m expecting it this quickly but it’s hard when you have a taste of it then there’s a setback. I keep thinking back to “healing is not linear” and it’s so true... sometimes I wish it wasn’t and things would follow a somewhat predictable path. It would be a tad bit easier!

 

Jim, t

This is honestly really good news! So many people do not seem to have those really good days so early on. In my opinion, this seems like a fantastic sign!! I'm pulling for you and have every confidence that healing will happen sooner than later! You got this! 

 

Please keep in touch.

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

[[Lo...]]

Panic Attack

 

The strangest thing just happened to me.  I had not been able to drive for a long time and since I have been tapering and getting better, I have been able to drive short distances by myself, like 2-3 miles to the grocery store.  This morning I went to the Food Lion by myself and I do not know what happened but I had a panic attack.  I was so scared I would not get home.  We sold my car last year because I could not drive anymore due to panic and the dose of Xanax I was on so there was no way my husband could have come to get me.  I did make it home ok but my husband could tell right away I was NOT ok.  He had me sit down and try to calm down.  I had to take half of my 1:00 dose of Xanax to calm down.

The only thing I can think of that would bring this on is that I have not seen my therapist in 3 months and have an appointment with him in the morning.  I do not want to see him but my psychiatrist said he wanted me to keep seeing the therapist right now and I am afraid if I don't, he will stop writing my prescriptions and I need them to do my taper.  I blame the therapist for my getting on such a high dose of the Xanax because he kept saying i needed to increase the dose and I did what I was told to do.  When I wanted to get off the Xanax the therapist asked me why- he said he had taken it many different times and when he stopped taking it he had no problem and that he felt that I needed it for my anxiety and panic attacks.  Its strange that I had not had one since I started tapering and had not been seeing him.  Now I have to see him tomorrow and have had a MAJOR panic attack today. 

 

Anyway - I am trying to calm down and stop crying and shaking.

 

I am slowing getting better now.  I think writing this is helping.

 

Thanks for being there.

 

Julia

 

It's crazy what the mind will do to you.

 

Julia, I'm so sorry this happened to you! I've been there and it's horrible! Please know that it's the taper and it does not mean that the panic attacks will continue to happen.

 

How did you make out at the therapists office? Are you still doing DLMT?

 

Thinking of you!! Will write more later. Hugs!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Before I head off to the doctor or worse, assume it's something really serious, just wanted opinions on muscle pain.

 

Strained my neck and back lifting weights last week (only 5 lb weights but a lot of reps) as I decided to "try" to regain some muscle tone. Did this lifting for two consecutive days. Then, 48 hours later,  I woke with severe muscle pain in my neck on the right side. Tried ice, heat, massager, TENS unit, stretching and no relief. It has since knotted up in my shoulder, radiated to my upper back, neck (both sides) and has been relentless!! I'm waking in the middle of the night completely locked up for over a week now. 

 

One day it will feel like it's finally easing up a little bit only to be worse again the next day. Granted, my body involuntarily tenses up often!  However, the pain is so bad that I have to use the massager as soon as I wake just to be able to move! It's THAT bad! It loosens it up but still remains stiff and sore and then off and on pain ensues! It will be two weeks on Wednesday!

 

Muscle issues became a problem in abdominal area (tight muscles there affecting taking a deep breath) along with a bout of tendinitis in wrist (resolved), after I went below 1.25 mgs.

 

Is muscle pain issues common with taper? I'm losing my mind as I'm not able to function due to pain, stiffness, and limited mobility! This is truly affecting my taper as I'm afraid to keep reducing when I already can't sleep due to pain! Ugh!

 

 

Lori