Full Time worker support group

[[va...]]

Currently I'm in a major wave. Twitching, sensitive / burning skin, insomnia, internal vibrations, etc.

 

As I said earlier, I took last week off. I came back to work this week and have been at work for 3 days.

 

To summarize from earlier, basically two months ago the project manager on my main project at work quit and my company failed to fill the position. I tried to take over the duties, but got overloaded really quickly. The customer is also really demanding. While this was going on FIVE other people in my office quit. So we've gone from an office of 12 people down to an office of 6 in a couple of months. It feels like everything is really unstable here.

 

Worse, it feels like my boss is either checked out or doesn't have the backing *he* needs to do the things he needs to do to support the team. Which, of course, doesn't make me feel supported which then feeds back into my anxiety and my current state overall.

 

In 10 days I'm supposed to fly to a conference in Vegas and I'm not feeling good about that at all. I don't know if I want to be with this company long term. I'm struggling to sleep right as it is. It's in Vegas which is all loud noises and loud lights. I'm worried I'll be overwhelmed and ruin what little stability I gained this week. All for a company I don't really want to work for anymore.

 

Any thoughts on what I should do?

 

Stephen what dose are you on? Your signature ends on 2016 with valium 2?

[[va...]]

I found this thread and it's nice to see that there are some people out there who have to keep working in spite of the withdrawals. That is my case and I feel strange when I see many people who quit their job in order to be able to get off of the benzo.  I struggle with the intrusive thought that "there, as you see, fully functioning and holding a job and raising a teenager is not doable". Then I come here to this thread and I see some people are managing to do that. My job is quite comfortable as I teach English at home, about five or six classes a day, as a second language. When I have very bad anxiety (which is lately very often), I'm listening to my students and it's hard for me to just say something that makes sense and not to jump off the chair due to how jittery I am. Still, I manage to answer something logical and get up and put some grammar on the WB. I do it on autopilot because apart from the anxiety I have DP and DR. I live in a fog, I work from the fog. I look at my students and wonder if they don't notice anything weird and this stresses me. Or when I make mistakes that my normal me wouldn't have made, I have no option but to continue working but there's a voice inside saying "you can't possibly do this another day". This has created problems with my taper because due to tapering too fast y crashed a month ago with what I think must be acute wd because I'd never experienced such mental torture before. This led to very bad decisions on my side like rescue doses (far too many) and finally updosing (I should've done that in the first place). If I didn't have to work and be a parent I could've held in the first updose, but things weren't getting better, I was still not functional, and my brain wasn't even able to make a bank transfer. I finally updosed to 2.50 and I'll be holding to see if it works. Please no negative comments on kindling. I know that already and it's very triggering for me. I understand the people here who've had to quit their jobs, or those who are trying to find a job that is more "benzo withdrawal friendly". Mine in fact is, as working at home is fine, no commuting. However the teaching demands to be completely focused on the student and they're looking at my every gesture so there's a lot of stress generated by the fact of trying to act "normal" (while in your head you know you're crazy), plus the stress of wondering if you'll forget basic things, or if you'll sleep more than one -  two hours before tomorrow when you have five classes. Some days I cancel a class or two. Feeling bad about this because it's not in my character, but wd is not in my character either. I also raise my teenage kid alone. She's very good and understanding but I'd like to be better for her. That's why I have no chance but to take this taper extra slowly from here. I hope everyone finds a way to juggle work and taper successfully and survive in the process.

 

Good read. I think everyone  that works is experiencing the same as you because I know for certain I do.  I have worked my entire taper and wonder how I would  make it another day. I have a family so I have no choice, maybe others do.  About one year ago I applied for intermittent FMLA so I could miss a few days here and there and not count against me. Now that I have finished my taper I still have sxs and trying to work through them as best as possible. Thanks for sharing your experience.

 

Thank you caltn!! And congratulations for finally coming off this crap. I saw your post on under 3 mg valium. As you might recall, I had to updose to 2.5 after having reached 1 mg because I was going too fast and I went literally crazy. Still, today I'm getting calls from appointments I forgot. I never knew this could get so bad. Now I'm scared of holding too long and scared of tapering too fast. More scared of tapering too fast though. I really don't have an option, I HAVE to be functional.

[[ca...]]

I found this thread and it's nice to see that there are some people out there who have to keep working in spite of the withdrawals. That is my case and I feel strange when I see many people who quit their job in order to be able to get off of the benzo.  I struggle with the intrusive thought that "there, as you see, fully functioning and holding a job and raising a teenager is not doable". Then I come here to this thread and I see some people are managing to do that. My job is quite comfortable as I teach English at home, about five or six classes a day, as a second language. When I have very bad anxiety (which is lately very often), I'm listening to my students and it's hard for me to just say something that makes sense and not to jump off the chair due to how jittery I am. Still, I manage to answer something logical and get up and put some grammar on the WB. I do it on autopilot because apart from the anxiety I have DP and DR. I live in a fog, I work from the fog. I look at my students and wonder if they don't notice anything weird and this stresses me. Or when I make mistakes that my normal me wouldn't have made, I have no option but to continue working but there's a voice inside saying "you can't possibly do this another day". This has created problems with my taper because due to tapering too fast y crashed a month ago with what I think must be acute wd because I'd never experienced such mental torture before. This led to very bad decisions on my side like rescue doses (far too many) and finally updosing (I should've done that in the first place). If I didn't have to work and be a parent I could've held in the first updose, but things weren't getting better, I was still not functional, and my brain wasn't even able to make a bank transfer. I finally updosed to 2.50 and I'll be holding to see if it works. Please no negative comments on kindling. I know that already and it's very triggering for me. I understand the people here who've had to quit their jobs, or those who are trying to find a job that is more "benzo withdrawal friendly". Mine in fact is, as working at home is fine, no commuting. However the teaching demands to be completely focused on the student and they're looking at my every gesture so there's a lot of stress generated by the fact of trying to act "normal" (while in your head you know you're crazy), plus the stress of wondering if you'll forget basic things, or if you'll sleep more than one -  two hours before tomorrow when you have five classes. Some days I cancel a class or two. Feeling bad about this because it's not in my character, but wd is not in my character either. I also raise my teenage kid alone. She's very good and understanding but I'd like to be better for her. That's why I have no chance but to take this taper extra slowly from here. I hope everyone finds a way to juggle work and taper successfully and survive in the process.

 

Good read. I think everyone  that works is experiencing the same as you because I know for certain I do.  I have worked my entire taper and wonder how I would  make it another day. I have a family so I have no choice, maybe others do.  About one year ago I applied for intermittent FMLA so I could miss a few days here and there and not count against me. Now that I have finished my taper I still have sxs and trying to work through them as best as possible. Thanks for sharing your experience.

 

Thank you caltn!! And congratulations for finally coming off this crap. I saw your post on under 3 mg valium. As you might recall, I had to updose to 2.5 after having reached 1 mg because I was going too fast and I went literally crazy. Still, today I'm getting calls from appointments I forgot. I never knew this could get so bad. Now I'm scared of holding too long and scared of tapering too fast. More scared of tapering too fast though. I really don't have an option, I HAVE to be functional.

 

I don't think you're the only one that has ever up dosed so don't beat yourself up. It's about being functional while you're tapering so whatever it takes. I also up dosed in Oct. of 2017 cause I was tapering too fast, I felt good so I started doing more then I crashed. My body would  just shake like I was about to have a break down, tried for several days to ride it out but I gave in. It stabilized me enough to taper on. I have the fog also, short term memory issues, and several others but I'm done and will never touch that poison anymore.

My sleep has improved a lot, feel really rested. If this tight neck muscles causing nerve pain would just go away I would be ever so Happy. Hang in there.

[[va...]]

Oh, Caltn I didn't know you had updosed in October 2017. As your signature starts november 2017 I assumed you started there. Do you mind telling me how much you updosed and how long it took you to stabilize? I thought I was doing well cutting, far too fast, 25% every two weeks but I understood that was an ok taper. Now I know better of course. Also bear in mind I'd come twice off this drug. Once cold turkey after 4 months taking it, that was 14 years ago. And once with quite a fast taper about five years ago. So I thought I'd do ok. Suddenly a month ago after doing these cuts every two weeks, I went into acute withdrawal. Trust me you don't want to know what that is. I never had a glimpse of that the previous times I came off. Now I'm scared my brain is damaged for good. I have updosed, twice because the first one was totally not working, and this 2.5 dose has gotten me out of hell but not too far from it. I'm wondering if I'll reach a point of stability where I'll be able to resume my taper. Of course much slower. Doctors here are crazy and want me off quickly or on Lyrica or gabapentin or what not. I've just given in to the trazodone because I was sleeping one hour or two hour a night and as this thread explains, I need to work. Sorry for the rant. Basically I'd like to know how much you updosed and how long did it take you to stabilize and stop shaking for instance (my symptoms are more mental). I hope you're enjoying the freedom of living without this crap. Live, live for all of us who are half living!

[[ca...]]

Oh, Caltn I didn't know you had updosed in October 2017. As your signature starts november 2017 I assumed you started there. Do you mind telling me how much you updosed and how long it took you to stabilize? I thought I was doing well cutting, far too fast, 25% every two weeks but I understood that was an ok taper. Now I know better of course. Also bear in mind I'd come twice off this drug. Once cold turkey after 4 months taking it, that was 14 years ago. And once with quite a fast taper about five years ago. So I thought I'd do ok. Suddenly a month ago after doing these cuts every two weeks, I went into acute withdrawal. Trust me you don't want to know what that is. I never had a glimpse of that the previous times I came off. Now I'm scared my brain is damaged for good. I have updosed, twice because the first one was totally not working, and this 2.5 dose has gotten me out of hell but not too far from it. I'm wondering if I'll reach a point of stability where I'll be able to resume my taper. Of course much slower. Doctors here are crazy and want me off quickly or on Lyrica or gabapentin or what not. I've just given in to the trazodone because I was sleeping one hour or two hour a night and as this thread explains, I need to work. Sorry for the rant. Basically I'd like to know how much you updosed and how long did it take you to stabilize and stop shaking for instance (my symptoms are more mental). I hope you're enjoying the freedom of living without this crap. Live, live for all of us who are half living!

 

I crossed over from .5 ativan to 5 mg valium and to tell you the truth I can't remember all the details. I felt very ill on the 5mg valiium so I tried to taper faster than I should. Once I up dosed I did stabilize after about 8 days or so. Held for around 3 months then started tapering again at a much slower pace. I believe I up dosed about 1 mg. Tapering wasn't easy as I could not tolerate the Rx liquid valium so I tried taking it only 1mg at a time in liquid and the rest in pill form.  I dry cut from 2mg all the way down with several holds. Not sure how I did it but I did.

[[va...]]

Oh, Caltn I didn't know you had updosed in October 2017. As your signature starts november 2017 I assumed you started there. Do you mind telling me how much you updosed and how long it took you to stabilize? I thought I was doing well cutting, far too fast, 25% every two weeks but I understood that was an ok taper. Now I know better of course. Also bear in mind I'd come twice off this drug. Once cold turkey after 4 months taking it, that was 14 years ago. And once with quite a fast taper about five years ago. So I thought I'd do ok. Suddenly a month ago after doing these cuts every two weeks, I went into acute withdrawal. Trust me you don't want to know what that is. I never had a glimpse of that the previous times I came off. Now I'm scared my brain is damaged for good. I have updosed, twice because the first one was totally not working, and this 2.5 dose has gotten me out of hell but not too far from it. I'm wondering if I'll reach a point of stability where I'll be able to resume my taper. Of course much slower. Doctors here are crazy and want me off quickly or on Lyrica or gabapentin or what not. I've just given in to the trazodone because I was sleeping one hour or two hour a night and as this thread explains, I need to work. Sorry for the rant. Basically I'd like to know how much you updosed and how long did it take you to stabilize and stop shaking for instance (my symptoms are more mental). I hope you're enjoying the freedom of living without this crap. Live, live for all of us who are half living!

 

I crossed over from .5 ativan to 5 mg valium and to tell you the truth I can't remember all the details. I felt very ill on the 5mg valiium so I tried to taper faster than I should. Once I up dosed I did stabilize after about 8 days or so. Held for around 3 months then started tapering again at a much slower pace. I believe I up dosed about 1 mg. Tapering wasn't easy as I could not tolerate the Rx liquid valium so I tried taking it only 1mg at a time in liquid and the rest in pill form.  I dry cut from 2mg all the way down with several holds. Not sure how I did it but I did.

 

Great job Caltn. I'll dry cut too even with very very small cuts from now on, if I ever stabilize that is. You held for three months. That must have been crucial for your later success in tapering. I'm afraid if I start feeling better i'll start cutting too soon. I'll try to be disciplined. But now not feeling stable at all after my last updose and that was 5 days ago. The previous updose was on June 19 and that was totally not working. Oh well, you're out of this trap now. I really hope one day I walk in your shoes.

[[St...]]

Currently I'm in a major wave. Twitching, sensitive / burning skin, insomnia, internal vibrations, etc.

 

As I said earlier, I took last week off. I came back to work this week and have been at work for 3 days.

 

To summarize from earlier, basically two months ago the project manager on my main project at work quit and my company failed to fill the position. I tried to take over the duties, but got overloaded really quickly. The customer is also really demanding. While this was going on FIVE other people in my office quit. So we've gone from an office of 12 people down to an office of 6 in a couple of months. It feels like everything is really unstable here.

 

Worse, it feels like my boss is either checked out or doesn't have the backing *he* needs to do the things he needs to do to support the team. Which, of course, doesn't make me feel supported which then feeds back into my anxiety and my current state overall.

 

In 10 days I'm supposed to fly to a conference in Vegas and I'm not feeling good about that at all. I don't know if I want to be with this company long term. I'm struggling to sleep right as it is. It's in Vegas which is all loud noises and loud lights. I'm worried I'll be overwhelmed and ruin what little stability I gained this week. All for a company I don't really want to work for anymore.

 

Any thoughts on what I should do?

 

Stephen what dose are you on? Your signature ends on 2016 with valium 2?

 

I’m still at 2. I was on a long hold after moving back to the US and then my mom passing away. I haven’t been able to figure out how to proceed.

[[va...]]

Stephen, since September 2016 you're at 2 mgs and still have waves? I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe there have been other variations that are not in your signature. I'm at two. Reached 1 mg. and hit a bad acute wd wave, lasted a lot, updosed to 1.40, that didn't work, after three weeks was too desperate, updosed to 2 (after far too many rescue doses). Holding at 2. Can't even think of going into that acute state again, I couldn't work in that state and it lasted so long... Your job sounds really stressful especially in our condition. I hope things improve, remember nothing lasts forever, but yeah I know those little quotes don't help much  :'(. Do you still have to go to Vegas? Sounds a bit stressful, yes. Remember, things later are not that bad. We imagine them worse than they are. But I'd be freaking out too if I were you. You sound very strong and I thing you can probably handle it much better than you think.

 

Caltn I updosed a whole mg from 1 mg to 2 mg (and trying to stabilize, let's see...). I see the end of your taper went fast and well. I was trying at a similar rate but I have come off this twice before (didn't know better and went back on it, never again), so I guess that's why I can't tolerate that rate of reduction. So glad yo got out.

 

Today I'm feeling better. Anxious as always but not in the hole I was in up to five days ago, let alone three weeks ago which was even worse. So yesterday I could do a lot of stuff that I had been putting off and today I hope I can also get some things done. I hope you're all managing to balance your taper and jobs as we're all doing here.

[[Ma...]]

I was very thankful to find this group! I have been working since I began my taper in late January of this year, but I read so many posts of people who are unable to work and I am extremely thankful I am able to work.  I will say though that it takes every bit of energy that I have just to make it trough the day that I do not have much left when I get home! It is very discouraging to me personally, but seems to be the way things have to be for now, just to get through this terrible hell on earth called benzo withdrawal. 

 

I will be keeping up with this group, I need all the positive encouragement I can get!

 

Maggie

[[va...]]

I was very thankful to find this group! I have been working since I began my taper in late January of this year, but I read so many posts of people who are unable to work and I am extremely thankful I am able to work.  I will say though that it takes every bit of energy that I have just to make it trough the day that I do not have much left when I get home! It is very discouraging to me personally, but seems to be the way things have to be for now, just to get through this terrible hell on earth called benzo withdrawal. 

 

I will be keeping up with this group, I need all the positive encouragement I can get!

 

Maggie

 

Hi everyone, I'm limiting my time on BBs because it makes me a bit nervous, to say the least, so I just saw all your posts.

 

Maggie welcome to the group. Yes we're all working here and trying not to quit our jobs. I've made up my mind to go as slowly as I need to, even if it takes forever, as long as I can stay functional. I don't have an option.

 

Stephen I see that you hit a wall when you try to come down from 2 mgs. 2 mgs is not such a high dose. IDK but sometimes I think we would be better off if we just stop obsessing about coming off this drug. Really if it's not the withdrawals it's the anguish of still being on this crap. Maybe we could just surrender to the fact that it's going to take us much longer. I was reading begood's progress log. She took it real slow. Stephe I hope it went well in Vegas.

 

Caltn I hope you're getting less and less waves and soon you'll never come to BBs anymore because you've finished with this.

 

Mountaintop hope you're having more waves and windows.

 

 

[[bo...]]

hi what  coping skills you have to be able to work?

how do you manage to work with bad sleep, aches, flu feeling, fatigue,etc.

I have to start working and don't know how to manage...

thank you and admire you

[[va...]]

hi what  coping skills you have to be able to work?

how do you manage to work with bad sleep, aches, flu feeling, fatigue,etc.

I have to start working and don't know how to manage...

thank you and admire you

 

Bonty, it's very difficult and depends on what phase of wd people are going through. Some people have to take some time off work making up different excuses. I think we have to accept that we're not going to be as good at work as we were without the wd and not put the pressure on ourselves of not making benzo mistakes and being at our peak performance. That's impossible so better not to dwell on it. The lack of sleep was the absolute worse for me. Finally with the updose and giving in to my doctor's wishes of taking gabapentin and trazodone, I'm sleeping for the first time in months. Maybe it was a mistake, I wouldn't recommend anyone taking more drugs, but I really didn't have a choice. I was in a really bad place mentally. Like really bad. I think when we're working and have no choice but to keep working, we have to taper extra slowly so that the symptoms are tolerable and we remain functional. Of course we need a doctor that will prescribe accordingly.

[[bo...]]

hi what  coping skills you have to be able to work?

how do you manage to work with bad sleep, aches, flu feeling, fatigue,etc.

I have to start working and don't know how to manage...

thank you and admire you

 

Bonty, it's very difficult and depends on what phase of wd people are going through. Some people have to take some time off work making up different excuses. I think we have to accept that we're not going to be as good at work as we were without the wd and not put the pressure on ourselves of not making benzo mistakes and being at our peak performance. That's impossible so better not to dwell on it. The lack of sleep was the absolute worse for me. Finally with the updose and giving in to my doctor's wishes of taking gabapentin and trazodone, I'm sleeping for the first time in months. Maybe it was a mistake, I wouldn't recommend anyone taking more drugs, but I really didn't have a choice. I was in a really bad place mentally. Like really bad. I think when we're working and have no choice but to keep working, we have to taper extra slowly so that the symptoms are tolerable and we remain functional. Of course we need a doctor that will prescribe accordingly.

Thank you This makes sense, I tried trazodone and made me feel off... I think I'm hypersensitive to drugs I only take gravol which helps but only take half, I'm in a really bad place  anxiety at night but I have a lot of things going on also.... I would consider part time work...

[[va...]]

hi what  coping skills you have to be able to work?

how do you manage to work with bad sleep, aches, flu feeling, fatigue,etc.

I have to start working and don't know how to manage...

thank you and admire you

 

Bonty, it's very difficult and depends on what phase of wd people are going through. Some people have to take some time off work making up different excuses. I think we have to accept that we're not going to be as good at work as we were without the wd and not put the pressure on ourselves of not making benzo mistakes and being at our peak performance. That's impossible so better not to dwell on it. The lack of sleep was the absolute worse for me. Finally with the updose and giving in to my doctor's wishes of taking gabapentin and trazodone, I'm sleeping for the first time in months. Maybe it was a mistake, I wouldn't recommend anyone taking more drugs, but I really didn't have a choice. I was in a really bad place mentally. Like really bad. I think when we're working and have no choice but to keep working, we have to taper extra slowly so that the symptoms are tolerable and we remain functional. Of course we need a doctor that will prescribe accordingly.

Thank you This makes sense, I tried trazodone and made me feel off... I think I'm hypersensitive to drugs I only take gravol which helps but only take half, I'm in a really bad place  anxiety at night but I have a lot of things going on also.... I would consider part time work...

 

Bonty, I was only taking valium but my taper went wrong, maybe too fast I don't know. The updose wasn't working so I was put on trazodone. That helped but not much so now I'm on trazodone AND gabapentin. I feel dizzy all day (on top of the benzo wds), but at least I sleep at night. The lack of sleep on top of being in acute all day and night was taking me to a very bad place mentally. I hate to feel this drugged, with the trazodone and the gabapentin, but I was even worse. I just couldn't be like that, it was dangerous. I'm hoping to get rid of the trazodone and stay "only" with the gabapentin if I improve a little.

[[va...]]

Bonty as for how to manage with work, if you can get the sleep in order (I don't know how to help you with that, I only got it with the traz and gabapentin), once I got my sleep in order, I have wds in the daytime but the worst enemy are thoughts and thinking about the future. I keep telling myself "Just deal with this day, or this class (I teach English as a second language), get through this class, this grammar explanation, don't think of all you will have to do and how you'll manage. Don't. Just this one thing that you're doing now". I'm trying to do that. When I manage to stick to the present moment my fear and anxiety decreases. Let's stick together in this thread ok? I feel we're going through a similar experience. It's nice to have someone with a relatable experience.

[[bo...]]

Bonty as for how to manage with work, if you can get the sleep in order (I don't know how to help you with that, I only got it with the traz and gabapentin), once I got my sleep in order, I have wds in the daytime but the worst enemy are thoughts and thinking about the future. I keep telling myself "Just deal with this day, or this class (I teach English as a second language), get through this class, this grammar explanation, don't think of all you will have to do and how you'll manage. Don't. Just this one thing that you're doing now". I'm trying to do that. When I manage to stick to the present moment my fear and anxiety decreases. Let's stick together in this thread ok? I feel we're going through a similar experience. It's nice to have someone with a relatable experience.

I am sending you a pmessage  x

[[mi...]]

How is everyone in this group doing? I've been working full-time through this taper and it has been tough to say the least. I've pretty much been in "fake it" mode every day and somehow manage to get by.

 

I work in software consulting and while my company is super flexible (liberal work from home policy, not set hours, etc) but the stress of dealing with multiple clients/projects at once really gets to me. My worst w/d symptoms have consistently been dp/dr and cog-fog which sometimes leaves me staring blankly at my computer screen for long periods of time.

 

I cut down from 5 to 4.5mg last Friday and it slammed me really hard this week to the point where I had to take Tues/Wed off of work. Fortunately I have slept ~6 hours a night through most of my taper but mornings are awful for me from an anxiety standpoint and I mostly feel like I'm on a bad acid trip. I'm considering holding for a bit at my current dose and then proceeding with a slower liquid taper the rest of the way down.

 

Socializing with my co-workers helps remind me that I am still a person (they probably don't even realize all the pain/suffering I'm going through) and can be whole again one day. But the moment I open my email and start doing actual work I feel the anxiety start building in my system.

[[Gw...]]

"Once more unto the breach..."

After taking the summer to convalesce, I am job hunting in earnest. I am in the education field, so August is a good month for it. Still, the process can be really discouraging, nerve-wracking, and tedious, so please send good vibes my way! The time off was exactly what I needed, and I am feeling much better now. Getting back to work will be the last step in my recovery before I write that success story!

 

Gwinna

[[va...]]

"Once more unto the breach..."

After taking the summer to convalesce, I am job hunting in earnest. I am in the education field, so August is a good month for it. Still, the process can be really discouraging, nerve-wracking, and tedious, so please send good vibes my way! The time off was exactly what I needed, and I am feeling much better now. Getting back to work will be the last step in my recovery before I write that success story!

 

Gwinna

 

Gwinna I wish you all the luck and success. Go get them!

[[va...]]

I'd like this group not to die. I think there are a few full time workers wanting to vent, rant, look for support, share their experiences and how they manage.

[[Gw...]]

Update: I have some part-time work lined up! I hope it's okay to keep posting here while I'm still trying to get back to full time employment.

[[bo...]]

I start work in a week, so I will come back here and keep everyone updated.

[[mo...]]

HI everyone, I’m prodding through work. Still very absent minded and so forgetful. Very major things I seem to forget if I don’t write them down. Until someone mentions it or I get a mad email that it’s not done yet. Very grateful I’m still in good standing. Only because I work from home. I don’t need two or three naps a day anymore and sometimes don’t take one at all. My stamina is so much better. But yeah staring st my computer or my mind wandering off day dreaming is tough. Hoping it gets better. I’ve been off about 2.5 months now. Today I’m grateful because I did about 6 things/errands and didn’t feel dizzy or anything. A few months ago I would have done two things and been done for the day. Getting my life back together and all that was let go the past year.Widhing everyone continued healing.

[[va...]]

Update: I have some part-time work lined up! I hope it's okay to keep posting here while I'm still trying to get back to full time employment.

 

Of course it's ok!! We need to support each other while we try to hold a job in withdrawal. Part time work is also very difficult..

[[bo...]]

Mountaintop, I understand what you're talking about when you mention being forgetful at work. It feel like the executive functioning feature of the brain gets shut off during withdrawal. I had many days where I could only focus on the task at hand and nothing else. Then I would forget other things. I think I'm still experiencing it now to some extent. I have to start a new job on Friday and I'm hoping my forgetfulness and executive functioning is a little better now compared to last school year.

 

So I start working on Friday. I am doing very poorly. I have used medications to get by for years working and also drinking every weekend. I feel absolutely terrible when thinking about the prospect of working every day. I'm starting to think I can't handle a traditional job whether I'm in withdrawal or I'm not. I may have to go on Remeron to function.