15.5 months, MASSIVE ACUTE WAVE- Please help...

[[Fi...]]

Hi guys, have you all experienced major depression during your waves as well? I’m over 14 months out and so depressed plus all kinds of other symptoms. Gotta love it when you read about people healing at the 1 year mark, boy are they lucky! So now I’m thinking over 2 years for sure but the depression is killing me. Anyone else had the same thing just need some hope that this too shall pass. Thank god for all of you, at least there are people who can sympathize and understand. Thanks again

[[Kl...]]

Hi guys, have you all experienced major depression during your waves as well? I’m over 14 months out and so depressed plus all kinds of other symptoms. Gotta love it when you read about people healing at the 1 year mark, boy are they lucky! So now I’m thinking over 2 years for sure but the depression is killing me. Anyone else had the same thing just need some hope that this too shall pass. Thank god for all of you, at least there are people who can sympathize and understand. Thanks again

 

Yeah still get waves of depression. mostly in an ok mood but the entire weekend I got hit with that again. It makes everything even harder and you feel so hopeless.

[[Fi...]]

You hit the nail on the head Klungo, have your depression periods gotten shorter as the months passed? Thanks for reaching out, that’s exactly how I feel, hopeless and so so tired.

[[Kl...]]

Yeah I don't get them very often, maybe a day or two every few weeks. I've been in a particularly bad run for about 5+ weeks now though, not all depression, just rougher sx in general.

[[br...]]

 

Right now I am enjoying a window and have no depression . I have had good sleep and currently life is good.

The best thing about windows is that they give us hope that we will indeed recover and that a happy life is possible.

Waves bring misery and doubt. It's no surprise that depression is part of that. it helps me when I try to accept that the depression is a part of the healing process and is just another symptom.

 

[[Fi...]]

Thank goodness you all responded, go to know that it’s still part of the process. It has gotten better for me with longer windows. Now it seems like  the depression is just as bad as it was when I was tapering which is super frightening. So glad to hear we are all battling this out together, can’t wait for all of us to be healed once and for all!

[[bu...]]

Wow! I’m so glad I found this thread. I just hit 15 1/2 months a couple of days ago and have been hit with a very acute wave just like pressingonward has been describing here. I have been absent from benzo buddies for a while as I have become accustomed to and have accepted the various different levels of healing. I thank this forum for it has allowed me to get off the web for a period of time and away from the constant search of remedies and solutions none of which have helped me except time and distraction.  I’ve been able to at least function somewhat lately. However, I’ve never had any symptom- free days since I got off my meds but I understood all along that there would be some days worse than others. Sometimes days turning into weeks of a wave from hell. I had a really hard wave right at 10 months. I got a really bad flu on top of it and it took me a couple of months to come back to some sense of normalcy! And normalcy for me was just having symptoms sort of hanging around not necessarily going away but allowing me to at least function to where I could get out of bed, drive, shop, cook, be with family, attend a few events here and there etc.  I seem to get waves every 4-6 weeks that last about a week or two. Must be how the healing process works. Often, I feel like it’s because I did too much.  I feel stronger in between waves and then take on too many tasks like gardening, home projects that I have neglected from too many days on the couch and wanting to exercise more. Periodically, I get an acute wave! (5 months, 10 months, 15 months where I seem to be now)! But I believe it’s more like what one of the buddies said,” I am certain these acute waves are not caused by anything I do, but rather they 'just happen and are a natural part of the healing process for some of us.” Regardless, the acute ones suck royally!

 

Right now, I'm in a horrible acute-like wave, incredible torture, especially the dreaded mental stuff, lots of crying.  The anxiety, adrenaline rushes, insomnia, muscle and nerve pain, anxiety, ...all of it back like it was during the initial withdrawal except the burning is a strange more intense like sensation. It feels like I have grass stickers, prickly monsters in my back, stomach, and other major muscles even in my brain or like an intense electric current. I would liken it to a bad detox. In fact, its worse when I do my daily stretching for my sciatica which is a new occurrence but also common from what I read). Feels like I have released chemicals into my body after the stretching that can’t escape and have flared everything up. Just like brave rabbit said “The worst symptom is the feeling of poison running through my veins. Pin pricks, pain and burning. there is also that queer restless body sensation. Everything feels tightly wound up. It starts in my head and runs through my body.”

 

I haven’t changed my diet, still eating clean, no sugar, no gluten, no processed, just all-natural food. And Like other buddies, the early morning adrenaline rushes were a real surprise for me right now as I have not had them as bad the last few months. During the day, I used to be able to function but now, along with all of these other debilitating symptoms, I am also extremely tired all day long. I used to have daily late afternoon and evening windows, with clarity, and sense of wellbeing.  Probably because the body shifts from producing cortisol to producing melatonin. But now GONE! Clarity windows GONE.  It took me two days just to put my thoughts and post together. My distraction activity, scrapbooking, is on back burner now too. Can’t sit long enough because of the sciatica or focus long enough. Exercise intolerance has hit hard again!  My muscles hurt all over my body, the prickly monsters feeling in my nerves flare up, and there is this extreme heaviness afterwards that I can’t shake like gravity is pulling my skin and muscles to the ground. I was walking about a mile a day, can barely meander through my yard now. :'(

 

As mentioned by a buddy, waves bring misery and doubt and so much of what we experience as mental and depression is clearly a part of that misery. And when it gets this bad, and the depression and hopelessness set in, I turn to BB for support. I am blessed and do have a great deal of family support. They understand this maddening journey of healing after much research during my tapering days. Yet, BB offers something more…A reminder that I am not alone in this maddening journey of healing and that so many others are going through the same cyclical, changing and debilitating waves and thus it brings some level of comfort and calms the destructive thoughts.

 

Like brave rabbit says, “after reading endless buddy posts on just this thing I have come to the conclusion that it's just a part of the nonlinear madness of it all, and the only thing we can really do is accept that time will really be the healer and that while we wait we just have to cope, cope, and then cope some more.”

 

And while we wait and struggle we lean on each other. Thanks for starting this thread! I’m glad I found it and all the hopeful and encouraging words from buddies. 

 

Time for a hot bath to see if I can ease some of these symptoms of this debilitating wave. 

 

Hang in there buddies!

 

Butterfy65

[[pr...]]

Buddies,

 

I really need your help today. 19 months and 3 days now. Saw a few windows about a week ago. A few really good, life giving moments. I’m in hell right now. New symptoms too. The brain burn / anxiety is off the charts. The new- my muscles are burning, tingling, and deeply aching. It feels like my nervous system is bananas all over. I’m praying that this is the storm before the calm. I just can’t believe it. It feels so oddly acute like. Freaky. Sorry that I haven’t responded to PM’s.  It’s been a roller coaster recently. Appreciate any encouragement!

[[li...]]

pressing-

 

I am there with you. I got into a wave this morning, and its totally messed me up. I think its normal to get these waves and usually they are shorter than waves past. You just came out of a healing phase and maybe there is just a little more work to do. You will be ok and healed soon. Just gotta get through this wave and hopefully its the last hurrah before complete healing happens.

[[pr...]]

Appreciate your comment, linnie. Thank you. Pray you get better as well.

[[So...]]

You are going to be ok I promise pressing, seriously I bet the end of this whole journey is just around the corner for you, honestly you were on relatively low dose for not too long honestly and you'll be totally normal again before you know it, this could be the final push your brain and body needs toward total healing. I've just been in a constant wave now for almost six months but I've seen positive improvements, I never got windows really except my five month window I guess what I felt I was healed so just keep in mind we are all so different with symptoms and patterns of suffering, you are going to be perfect again and able to do all the things you've missed out on I promise.

[[Li...]]

You are going to be ok I promise pressing, seriously I bet the end of this whole journey is just around the corner for you, honestly you were on relatively low dose for not too long honestly and you'll be totally normal again before you know it, this could be the final push your brain and body needs toward total healing. I've just been in a constant wave now for almost six months but I've seen positive improvements, I never got windows really except my five month window I guess what I felt I was healed so just keep in mind we are all so different with symptoms and patterns of suffering, you are going to be perfect again and able to do all the things you've missed out on I promise.

I'm actually a lot like you Songbird. I had a horrible first two months off and I thought I was healed in month 3. And then everything crashed in month 4. So I only had about 3 weeks of feeling healed, but I can relate. And then it's been wave after wave of mental crap ever since.

[[br...]]

 

Checking back in with everyone after a  few weeks from Hell including an evacuation from the Carr fire , several nights at a shelter on Red Cross cots , fire damage and dealing with insurers , clean up people etc. etc. . Daughter and family also affected by same Carr fire. Computer wrecked by power surges . Marriage on the rocks due to stress and let us not forget , near sleepless nights due to the present wave of muscle cramps , agitation , and nerve pain.

 

And yes Mrs Lincoln , the play sucked.

[[A1...]]

HI all.....i see the last post was in August and its already October,,,,,did i miss something is everyone healed....im in the same boat being 15 months out and still treading through hell...  how is everybody doing with the healing process,,,,,we are all looking for some inspiration and some hope.......

[[Go...]]

I had a severe acute wave a couple of weeks ago. I had started Passion Flower for 5 days. I really believe I had neurotoxicity from it. I went to the ER but they did nothing but offer a benzo.

[[Li...]]

I dreaddd the evenings they get so bad I get relief from 12 or 1 to 5 or 6 and the rest right now is bad. Used to be better in the evenings but bad mornings it's changed so much from the first year which in my opinion was better than the second year so far.

 

 

Is that true about secon year I feel worse I can’t keep doing this shit

[[In...]]

I have not been active on here in a LONG time. I recovered in 2014 and then started drinking in 2016 on the weekends. I figured i was normal like everyone else. 8 months of drinking and one night i woke up in massive sweating with my heart up and all my old physical symptoms came back. However, I handled it and went to work and school (grad school).

 

My last drink was september 2nd last year and july, august and september were all great. I felt ok and just had sensory issues in my tongue.

Im so sensitized that anything in my body sets me off. So I don't take anything!!!

 

All of a suden after halloween i felt like i went into acute WD like I did in 2010! Woke up with massive electric shocks and heart rate very elevated. Felt like i have been on LSD the last 4 days! TERRIBLE panic and horrible stuff.

 

Just last week i was at a halloween party??? I have gone crazy looking for triggers. I even bought a air measure device to measure the particles in the AIR. This is Crazy cause i can't think that something can hit like this 13 months later?

[[So...]]

Hi, i was on clonazepum for 3 months From may 2017(1 mg 2 months, .5mg 15 days , .25 mg for 15 days) . Suffered extremely for 10 months till February 2018 . After that i was Fully okay , functional till today , 28th march 2019 .

 

Feels like im into acute once again . Took some antibiotics and antacids for root canal . After that , im thrown into acute . My issues are mostly psychological , looping thoughts about waves and others and extreme anxiety . The most disturbing are the ocd intrusive thoughts . Can anyone help me about my condition .

[[za...]]

Hi, i was on clonazepum for 3 months From may 2017(1 mg 2 months, .5mg 15 days , .25 mg for 15 days) . Suffered extremely for 10 months till February 2018 . After that i was Fully okay , functional till today , 28th march 2019 .

 

Feels like im into acute once again . Took some antibiotics and antacids for root canal . After that , im thrown into acute . My issues are mostly psychological , looping thoughts about waves and others and extreme anxiety . The most disturbing are the ocd intrusive thoughts . Can anyone help me about my condition .

 

Sorry to ask you, what kind of help do you need? all your symptoms seem to be part of the wd as you can read on this site but it's good to check with your doctor. 

[[So...]]

Hi Zack55 ,

 

Actually I am wandering that is it possible to get this kind of wave after about 1 year . Actually I took some antibiotics named milixim (cefixime) for root canal and throat infection . After that got slammed . Can the antibiotics be the cause of this acute wave ? Any form of encouragement is highly welcomed .

[Guest [so...]]

Antibiotics are neurotoxic to those of us with a compromised cns from bwd and can cause significant sxs to reappear even if you think you are healed. Many act on gaba receptors in the same way as benzos, you will find many posts on this forum about AB setbacks. I took an AB and experienced a horrible setback with sxs every bit as bad as acute for 6 weeks, that was 5 months ago and the suffering has been unbelievable, thankfully it seems to be letting up, so yes, the AB can certainly be the cause of your acute wave as it was for me and many others. I hope it resolves for you soon.

[[ba...]]

Hold on! It's okay!

[[So...]]

Thanks Southern Star , bazil4uk ,

 

I really apreeciate the support .

[[HI...]]

24 months here.  It has only gotten worse the last 4 months.  Not sure what to make of it.  Good luck to you all.  We are gonna need it.