I Got My Life Back – Thank God!

[[He...]]

Theway,

 

  Thanks for the words of wisdom. I appreciate it. I hope to follow in your footsteps to better and longer sleep.

 

Thanks, again,

 

HM

[[...]]

Thanks, Way. Needed to read this today. For whatever reason I was starting to get 7 hours of solid sleep from January through May after nearly three years of poor sleep and now I’m waking up at 5am or earlier again. So incredibly frustrating. Still can’t exercise yet either - so I look to your story when I need hope.

 

Like your story says, doctors didn’t believe me either and didn’t want to script me more to taper given my extremely short time usage. I still get really upset about not pounding the pavement harder. I know it’s not my fault but I should have been a better advocate for my health and foolishly believed the worst would pass within within weeks, being misdiagnosed with depression, etc. I didn’t have any of these problems before this! Thankfully I found a better doctor that knows the dangers of these drugs and doesn’t prescribe them.

 

I am also dealing with the overall trauma from this event and that is probably compounding my sleep and mental state  - like you I kept my job this entire time and raising a family with young kids. They’re the reason I continuously push forward.

 

Thanks for coming back and providing hope.

 

 

[[Th...]]

RKO,

 

Thanks for the kinds words and encouragement.

 

I still get bouts of insomnia here and there.  I had one this past January into February where I had 4 zero nights and a bunch of 1-3 hours nights and even some 2-4 hour nights.  It took about 6 weeks or so, maybe 7 to even out.  But it did even out and now I am sleeping 6-7+ hours every night.  This happened after sleeping well for over 15 months.  So I am no longer surprised when this happens.

 

It WILL even out for you too.  BTW, I regularly wake up every morning between 4 and 5 am.  I go to bed between 8:00 and 9:00 pm (yes, I'm old) LOL

 

Good luck.

[[He...]]

I go to bed at 9pm too (I'm 52, so too young to go to bed so early!) and I stay in bed whether I sleep or not so I can at least get the 'rest'. I'm fortunate that I don't have a bunch of other symptoms making it difficult for me to relax although I do have some rebound and underlying GAD that makes it hard to relax on occasion.

 

I hold onto your story, theway, for hope that i can eventually sleep several hours anxiety free.

 

Happy Monday,

 

HM

[[Th...]]

HM,

 

You will sleep several hours again on your own w/o taking anything.  I don't know when that will be and neither does anyone else, but given enough time, it will happen.

 

Unfortunately I had a plethora of other symptoms that made the insomnia worse and vice versa.

 

Hoping the sandman pays you visits nightly!

[[Sh...]]

My sleep got better towards the end of my taper, and now I’m 6 weeks off it’s worse than ever. I hardly ever feel sleepy now and a few weeks ago I was nodding off nearly every night. It’s so upsetting

[[He...]]

My sleep got better towards the end of my taper, and now I’m 6 weeks off it’s worse than ever. I hardly ever feel sleepy now and a few weeks ago I was nodding off nearly every night. It’s so upsetting

 

I feel sleepy, my brain just won't go to sleep. I have noticed, since it's been less than 3 months, that I am beginning to acclimate to less sleep. I am less of a Zombie although still much less functional than before my Xanax quit working for me and I had to taper.

 

I am sorry your are struggling worse since you have jumped. That's unfortunate. We both just have to wait it out and let our brains heal. For me, I still have to taper first.

 

Wishing you lot's of good rest:)

 

HM

[[Sh...]]

I’ve been struggling for 2.5 years now. It’s been such a long time.

[[He...]]

I'm sorry to hear that. You're still my hero, though. You just keep on keepin' on

[[Sh...]]

Sorry x I’m just feeling very defeated today x it’s hard to keep going when you don’t see the improvement u hoped u would. But I know this can be a long process for some x

[[He...]]

I'm on your team, Shayna. I know the feeling. It can be hard to hang in there but it's all you can do. You're in my prayers. I remember you "Made my own window" the other day:) Another one of those days is coming soon. Hopefully tomorrow.

 

But I understand that today you just feel defeated and broken. I have felt that way too. I feel your pain.

[[Sh...]]

Thanku hm xx

[[Th...]]

My sleep got better towards the end of my taper, and now I’m 6 weeks off it’s worse than ever. I hardly ever feel sleepy now and a few weeks ago I was nodding off nearly every night. It’s so upsetting

 

Shayna,

 

Sorry that your sleep has taken a nose dive, but that's what happens to a lot of people on this forum after their taper is over or they do a CT.  I used to get 2-4 hours 4 or 5 days a week while still taking the poison, but after I CT'd, I went 4 or 5 nights in a row with ZERO or no perceived sleep.  Then I'd get 30 minutes here or maybe an hour there some nights.  I was averaging 5-10 hours per week for months. 

 

I am not telling you this to scare you as you already have been living like this for a long time...too long, but it seems like for most people sleep has to get worse before it starts to get better?

 

Now that you are completely off, your brain will learn how to sleep again.  I thought I would never sleep more than 2-3 hours per night for the rest of my life.  That simply is not true.  For the past 3 years I've been averaging 6-7 hours per night, every night.  Sometimes I get 8 or even 9 hours a night!

 

Time is the healer and the good thing is that it always passes regardless. 

[[He...]]

I'm still tapering and stuck at 0 to 2 hrs per night. I guess after I jump, I'll be at zero! I hope not. I remember someone (I think Kate08) saying her WD symptoms got better as she tapered. I hope that's me. I would love for my insomnia to get BETTER as I taper.

 

We'll see

 

HM

[[Th...]]

Another person from years ago (Chessplayer) got better sleep during his taper too.  He crossed over to Valium (Diazapam) and slept pretty well until he was off.

 

Hoping this for you too!

 

Good luck!

[[Th...]]

I've been off 5 years as of August 5.  I remember five years ago at this time I was in a very bad place.

 

Today and I am fully recovered.  There is hope and the healing is real.  Name it and claim it.

 

You've got this!

[[Sh...]]

Congrats on 5 years xx so happy for u

[[He...]]

I've been off 5 years as of August 5.  I remember five years ago at this time I was in a very bad place.

 

Today and I am fully recovered.  There is hope and the healing is real.  Name it and claim it.

 

You've got this!

 

It's good to read in your signature that you started feeling better 10 months out and felt healed completely by 24 months. And you keep getting better! Thank you for all your encouragement! HM

[[Th...]]

Thanks HM,

 

You'll get there too.  Promise!

[[He...]]

Thanks HM,

 

You'll get there too.  Promise!

 

I'm holding you to it! lol. I need a life healing

[[Th...]]

After you are completely off, true healing will begin and continue...

[[Th...]]

Bump

[Guest [Ro...]]

Thank you for posting this! Yours is the first story that I've read which accurately echos my symptoms (mainly insomnia mixed in with anxiety, a constant hum of tinnitus, etc.).  Luckily, I haven't had any thoughts of hurting myself though.  It's wonderful to hear that you are healed! So encouraging. 

 

The detail of your insomnia battle is so familiar to me.  It's a struggle through the days when you haven't slept, and just last night I said to my husband that my eyes are so tired but my brain thinks it's daytime. My husband is very supportive but can't relate to my sleep issues and how deeply they affect me.

 

As Robert Frost said, the only way out is through!

[[Th...]]

You're welcome...

 

It always felt like someone punched me in the "eyes" after a night of little or no sleep....

 

You'll get past this, but as you already know, the process is very difficult and trying...but it does end one day

 

Hang in there, you'll cross your "finish line" one day too!

[[Ku...]]

      ThEwAy2,  Thank you sooo  much for your ss story.  I’m 10.5 months out. Rapid taper .25 K doctor directed to cut .5 into 1/4. See you in 8 weeks ( obviously I didn’t even realize) B/ W. So now dealing with sound sensitive hearing and mycolonic jerking. Just wondering if it took awhile for ears to be normal again. Also the muscle twitching.?  Was there a lessening within the years?  I think it makes my anxiety worse.  Eekk. 

        Thanks again.    Kudos2