ONE productive thing you did today

[[wa...]]

Despite enduring a night of hell due to health anxiety, I was able to keep my promise and drive the guys to a Harry Potter festival thing.  I vacuumed like a son of a gun while they were out. 

 

I feel I am operating below my intellectual capabilities most of the time but I had to accept how things are today.  I had no sleep. 

[[gi...]]

Despite enduring a night of hell due to health anxiety, I was able to keep my promise and drive the guys to a Harry Potter festival thing.  I vacuumed like a son of a gun while they were out. 

 

I feel I am operating below my intellectual capabilities most of the time but I had to accept how things are today.  I had no sleep.

 

:thumbsup:

 

[[Es...]]

Despite enduring a night of hell due to health anxiety, I was able to keep my promise and drive the guys to a Harry Potter festival thing.  I vacuumed like a son of a gun while they were out. 

 

I feel I am operating below my intellectual capabilities most of the time but I had to accept how things are today.  I had no sleep.

 

You’re doing great, WBB Very inspirational. Me - very little. Dishes, moved forward the decluttering project by 1%, found myself a great new self-help audiobook to listen to through my headphones while doing household chores. Listened to like 1/3. Hoping to improve today.

[[gi...]]

You’re doing great, WBB Very inspirational. Me - very little. Dishes, moved forward the decluttering project by 1%, found myself a great new self-help audiobook to listen to through my headphones while doing household chores. Listened to like 1/3. Hoping to improve today.

 

I have a decluttering project too, in one of the rooms in the house, ongoing since last year.  I'd like to get inspired, but how does one do that?  I have relatives coming over from California next summer for a week, so I will have to get on it before then.  But on a brighter note, I cleaned the bathroom and cat's litterbox today.

[[Ol...]]

Got in the van and drove downtown to pick up a mattress! Feeling very accomplished.

[[wa...]]

Good on everyone, again!

 

I think getting oneself motivated to organize stuff while in this rocky state is as difficult as the act of organizing itself.  Maybe more.  I had some caffeine and went into zombie/energy mode to reorganize my closet that was in shambles from 2 weeks ago when I was looking for a pair of "feminine" shoes for this thing I had to go to.  I couldn't face the shoes again.  I have very difficult feet to find decent shoes for so I am almost fetishistic about them.  Wait, is that even a sentence?  I don't know but I did it.  I got the shoes back in the closet.  Sigh

[[Es...]]

 

I have a decluttering project too, in one of the rooms in the house, ongoing since last year.  I'd like to get inspired, but how does one do that?  I have relatives coming over from California next summer for a week, so I will have to get on it before then.  But on a brighter note, I cleaned the bathroom and cat's litterbox today.

 

I guess one tackles it in small parts, according to a certain plan. My decluttering project started after a very traumatic event in Feb. last year. My parents sent me to a horrid, public psych ward against my will for 8 days. Without any warning. It is forbidden to write here on what grounds I was locked up against my will. While I was in hospital, they turned the appt. inside out. Cause I didn’t have a chance to pack my stuff for the hospital. They had a fit of fury and called the ambulance/police ASAP. I’m not a criminal, but calling the police so that the nabes could see was more spectacular. Their attack of fury was triggered by my talking about the physical abuse I suffered as a kid. Out of fear. They came unexpectedly to my appt. and I had a panick attack.

 

The basis for keeping me locked up in this hospital for 8 days was a single stupid text message I once sent to mother. I was lucky to get out after 8 days, cause some ppl were kept there for months against their will. Pdocs found out the whole thing was fake and arranged by mother. Got rid of me as soon as the law allowed them to. I’ve been conflicted with parents for many yrs. Since I was a teen. Cause of physical and verbal abuse.

 

Anyway, as I was taken without any baggage, mother brought me my stuff to hospital. My appt. used to be very orderly. As my Kitty was left there alone for 8 days, they also stayed there from time to time to feed her, change her litter etc. When I came home, I didn’t recognize my appt. I think I suffer from some kind of PTSD. I was never locked up against my will on false grounds before. This PTSD, combined with my washing OCD. Which wreaks havoc on my life after the hospital, and is aggravated by the benzo taper. Makes all the thing almost impossible to accomplish.

 

If someone feels well, the decluttering project is pretty simple. One buys boxes, i.e. IKEA boxes. Then puts similar items in each box. Labels the boxes. Puts them in cupboards, closets. To make the whole thing look nicer, one may buy wicker boxes with a lid. Or put cartoon IKEA boxes into wicker baskets.

 

Motivation: home is the most important, most loved place on Earth. I live here with my Kitty. She is my only family. I used to have a home with my husband. Then with my Kitty. I never had a home before.

 

One gets rid of everything that hasn’t been used in like 2 last years. For me, it’s difficult. I’m a hoarder, cause of my OCD. There are three very good books on the subject of decluttering. Simple, short and practical. Which have helped me a lot: “No More Clutter”, “Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving and Hoarding (Treatments that Work)”, “Banish Clutter Forever: How the Toothbrush Principle Will Change Your Life”. I think all three are equally good. The second is for ppl who have a problem with acquiring and hoarding too many unnecessary objects, which is a part of OCD.

 

The third book is available as an audio. So one may download it from Audible. I usually put on my wireless headphones while decluttering or cleaning. With some self-help audiobook. Cause I’m tired of listening to my own thoughts, which are far from being constructive.

 

Okay, so I used to be a very organized and orderly person until this hospital experience. The worst experience in my life. Kept computerized paper lists of all my possessions. I know it sounds a lot like OCD. But I was this way. The hospital experience shattered me completely. I cut most contact with parents, but it doesn’t erase the trauma. I just want to have our beautiful, cozy appt. for me and Kitty back. I arranged and furnished it with so much love and caring many yrs ago. My husband wasn’t orderly. But he always respected laws in our appt. After my parents’ 8 days here, it’s as though an earthquake has passed.

 

I lay in bed all this weekend, cause I got sick physically. But I think I’m gonna go back to decluttering. Cause what I wrote made me realize how much I want my beloved, orderly home back again. And the old me, before I went back on benzos in May 2014. After 11 yrs off benzos. Following mother’s advice. She’s a doctor. Against my pdoc’s advice.

 

I know many ppl don’t realize the extent to which one can be conflicted with parents after many yrs of abuse and manipulations. It is the worst and darkest theme in my life. Which triggered my illness at the age of 14. There were no witnesses of what went on behind closed doors. All I’ve got are papers from many yrs of psychiatric treatment and voluntary hospitalizations. Which scare even pdocs and therapists.

[[gi...]]

Went to the bank (twice), made deposit, paid bills

Went jogging in the park for an hour

 

[[Ol...]]

Went to the doctor (45 mins away)

Went to pharmacy (twice!)

Went grocery shopping... yay! Food!

[[wa...]]

Yeah, Estee - I've been reading about this Swedish Death Cleaning -  one article: http://www.countryliving.com/home-maintenance/cleaning/a45190/what-is-swedish-death-cleaning/

 

Ginger - running and hour!  Wow - I have trouble walking around the block with the dog (which I did twice today, btw - so that' one thing, anyway)

 

Good on you Olive doing all that stuff in a day

 

Like they say, "Identify don't compare".  -- I really identify with the great efforts we all make in this difficult process!  It's all relative, isn't it? 

[[gi...]]

Ginger - running an hour!  Wow - I have trouble walking around the block with the dog (which I did twice today, btw - so that' one thing, anyway)

 

Thanks wannabebetter!  But you're right, one hour was too much, I pushed it too hard, was wobbly/dizzy/nervous for a couple of hours afterwards.  That's a reminder we still need to be gentle with ourselves.  Next time, only 30 minutes, and moderate pace.  I love your thread, it's so inspirational!

[[be...]]

I managed to get through playing three solid hours of Pickleball. Now it's time for a heating pad and bed.

[[Ol...]]

I love this thread! Celebrate the small victories!

[[wa...]]

Agreed!

 

today - I drove to the acupuncturist again - an hour each way but also took son to guitar lesson and handled a bunch of phone calls while he was in there.  All on 6 hours sleep.  I feel like yelling, "TA DA" some days.

[[be...]]

I'll do it for you: TA DA!

[[Ol...]]

I did a load of laundry, took out the garbage and recycling, organized a bit in the basement, and make almond poppyseed muffins!

[[Es...]]

I did a load of laundry, took out the garbage and recycling, organized a bit in the basement, and make almond poppyseed muffins!

 

:thumbsup:

[[Es...]]

Crawled out of bed after 4 days/nights laying there half-concious with a serious infection. I hope the second antibiotic is working. Dishes, laundry, basic cooking, Kitty’s beauty spa. Downloaded this book and am listening to it on my headphones while doing stuff. Very inspirational and motivating. Gonna look for more books like this one. I think the minimalist approach adopted by the Japanese is the best. They actually consider empty space an object. I always accumulated possessions. Now I’m trying to do the opposite. Quality, not quantity.

[[Es...]]

Yeah, Estee - I've been reading about this Swedish Death Cleaning -  one article: http://www.countryliving.com/home-maintenance/cleaning/a45190/what-is-swedish-death-cleaning/

 

It’s not exactly a Death Cleaning. Though no one should leave their clutter to their kids. Unless a person dies unexpectedly. It’s a way of organizing all your appt./house in a way which lets you enjoy life most. So that everything is functional and comfy. So that being in your own appt./house is the best experience possible. So that you don’t waste time looking for stuff. Actually, all this decluttering is supposed to help you get rid of unnecessary posessions, get more space, light and comfort in your appt./house. I’m a bit into interior design and find the whole idea quite appealing. Swedish interiors are very functional. Anyone who’s been to IKEA knows it. But they are modern. I’ve got antique furniture. But I like two concepts above all: simplicity and functionality.

[[wa...]]

I'll do it for you: TA DA!

Thnx BGirl

[[gi...]]

Worked out

Cooked dinner

[Guest [sc...]]

Woke up, worked for three hours, took dog for a walk, fixed dinner.

[[Ol...]]

Looked for something in the back of the shed which meant I had to excavate! Also looked for it in the basement and all over the house (never found it)

Went on a long walk to the park, around the park, and back home. Saw 3 cats along the way.

[[wa...]]

Did my physical therapy stuff and in earnest.  I endured the salon again without wanting to run out.  And even walked my poor little dog twice.

 

I am jealous of people in my life accomplishing things.  But their success does not diminish my little victories.  More later. W

[[Es...]]

Did my physical therapy stuff and in earnest.  I endured the salon again without wanting to run out.  And even walked my poor little dog twice.

 

I am jealous of people in my life accomplishing things.  But their success does not diminish my little victories.  More later. W

 

:thumbsup:

 

“[...]If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.[...]”

 

[Max Ehrmann “Desiderata”]