Healed after 12 years!

[[ro...]]

You're a saint for battling it out that long then keeping us in mind to let us know it ends even THAT long out. 12 years, WOW! That's along time!! I believe you lifted the spirits of many, many people in Benzo recovery by coming in here with your story and testimony. Thank you very much. I'll be 40 months off this coming 25th and almost 5 months into a horrific set back. All my sxs' are mental and kicking my ass yet, slowly going away.... or so it seems. Damn anxiety and agoraphobia keep me from living at all but I am seeing slight improvements. Did you pray to God 100X a day like I do? Feels like God keeps telling me not to take my eyes off him. Strange, I never felt that way before in my life until this happened. Thanks for coming in here to shed some light for us. These feelings of doom and gloom can be overwhelming and take all encouragement away at times. Your success story is the only thing that will bring me back to this site when I need some positive outlook. 

[[He...]]

12 years?  :o

 

congratulations for your persistence!

 

:thumbsup:

 

 

 

[[Bu...]]

Congratulations on a hard earned victory Mrs. B!!  Your perseverance and hope is truly inspirational!  Thank-you so very much for letting us know that your are healed and doing so well 

[[ma...]]

Hello Mr.B,

 

I am 63 years old woman. I'm like dolphins1. That means I'm afraid I'll never be healthy, I'll never sleep well. I'm on my way to reducing Klonopin. I take Klonopin for 26 years. Klonopin decreases from May 2016 - very slowly - by 0.001 mg / day. Even with a slow decrease, I have a sleep / sleep problem everyday / night. Now I'm on a dose of Klonopin 0.180mg.

 

My biggest problem is little sleep. If I was well asleep, I would not have other abstinence problems. I'm badly sleeping 1.5 - 2 hours. Exceptionally 4 hours / once a month.

 

You write: "The best advice to give them time, eat healthy nutrition, exercise, drink plenty of water and keep stress at a minimum and most important of all ... stop worrying about symptoms."

It's very hard to realize for me. I can not go for walks, I can not practice. Everything I tried, but any activity exhausts me a lot and I do not sleep at all. I have noticed that when I'm home, I'm better off. All I can do is rest - lie down.

 

I want to ask you - have you had a sleep problem?

 

Thank you for your answer.

 

Margit.

[[Mr...]]

Thank you all for all the kind words and well wishes!  Thank you all so,so much!

 

Hello margarita!

 

When I went through this miserable condition, I was terrified that I would never feel better again. All the experts assured me that I would one day feel well. They were all correct! I am normal again and feel like a fool that I ever doubted them on my recovery. The thing is...doubting in recovery is a symptom of benzo withdrawal syndrome and seeing this when we feel horrible is very hard to do. We must keep trying though and remain positive In spite of this.

 

I had the same problems in the beginning with exercise and being exhausted at even the smallest of tasks. All I can say is keep working at it, start off slow and don't overexert yourself. In the beginning all I could do is walk around my house very slowly. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing and when I would walk I would listen to very soothing music to try to distract and calm my nerves.

 

I had a horrible time with sleep but, slowly over time normal sleep had returned to me and I am overjoyed with this. Don't expect it to take as long as I have but, expect it to happen as you recovery unfolds.

 

 

    Kind regards,

 

                    Mr B.

 

   

[[ma...]]

Hello again, Mr. B

 

Thank you for the sincere answer. Your words touched me. I admire your courage. I admire you that you have endured and believed. You are very strong. Congratulations to you. Thank you for writing to us all your story. It gives us all the courage to continue. Please stay and support all who are on the hard way to heal.

I also sometimes believe - when I have a good sleep. I mostly doubt - because I usually have a bad sleep. I am also "exceptional" - everything is complicated.

I wish you a beautiful life.

Margit.

[[li...]]

Hello Mrs B

 

I came on here to read your story as a friend told me how helpful it was to her to read about your recovery.

 

I was so inspired to read your story and also how you have taken so much trouble and time to respond to us all who are still in the throes of this long  hard journey.

 

I just wanted to wish you all good things in the future and to say a huge thank you to you for giving us all hope.

 

I haven't been on BB for a while because I am just trying to do as many 'normal' things as possible after a long period of being housebound. I still have symptoms which are often severe but looking back I see where I was and now although I still suffer physical symptoms I know that things are slowly changing.

 

However although I can do so much more the pain is still on going intense and I have recently found myself thinking maybe I won't ever fully heal.

 

Reading your story makes me know that it will happen.

 

Thank you so much!

 

Lib  :smitten:

[[ta...]]

I want to thank you for posting this.  I am 7 years off and still am experiencing horrific days/nights.  You have given me hope that no one has been able to.  I do not have windows of clarity.  I am homebound and want my life back.  I do not have the support of my husband.  Yes he is still with me but ignores me and only want to hear the good news.  I have no good news. Everything is an extreme effort - talking, walking, sitting, standing, understanding, sleeping, eating, not being able to go to the bathroom or digest food, the pain, confusion, depression, anxiety. I have hundreds of symptoms still which I never ever had 7 years ago.  I have lost all of my friends and my family no longer speaks to me.  I am a fighter and always have been.  I am not the same person I was 7 years ago and until now after reading your post I have hope.  I am sorry for the short term people who are scared but if they do research on this site they will find hundreds of posts as to their recovery being short.  As for me I had given up coming on this site years ago because most people were healed and I am not.  It is very depressing not having hope. As for my many many many symptoms they are still with me.  Every day I get up and shower and try to accomplish something maybe a load of laundry, or dishes.  I force myself hoping this will all end soon.

 

As you know suffering for so long, I would greatly appreciate any word of encouragement from any of the experts that you have received.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired and doing this all on my own.  But I do not allow myself to go down that road and try and redirect my thoughts to what I am grateful for.  Today I am grateful for your post

[[do...]]

Mr B,

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am so happy for you and your achievement.

 

Blessings

 

Bruce

[[Mr...]]

You are all very welcome, I'm glad I could help a bit.

 

Thank you very much liberty for the kind words. Very good things are coming your way...Given time.

 

Hang in there Bruce!  You can do it buddie!  We all got your back!

 

Tammie, When this intensified for me at around 5+ years benzo free a lot of new symptoms started that I never had, and it scared the living hell out of me. I thought to myself that this is truly unfair. I come so far and make so much progress and get slammed harder that before?  I was horrified and I thought something else was going on that had nothing to do with benzos. Everyone that my wife contacted said that  "while it is very rare for this to happen, It is not unheard of"  and to give it more time and everything will be fine. This is what I say to you, and everyone else dealing with this. Hang in there!

 

I've lost all my friends, my mother,  my father, and a brother, a good job, and many years of my life, so I can understand and sympathize with your loss. All I can say is I'm rebuilding my life and I'm very happy. When the time comes, you'll do the same.

 

As far as words of encouragement go: Barry Haslam would always tell me in his letters  "I promise, I guarantee, I reassure you, that you will recover!!!"  and that always gave me great hope and comfort.

 

 

  Thank you all!

 

              Mr B.

 

 

   

[[pn...]]

Having a partner on this journey makes all the difference. Congratulations for sticking this out together. I have a husband, who is not nearly as involved, but is still very supportive. He's been pulling a double load to make up for all the I am incapable of doing.

 

Enjoy your life everyday.

[[Wh...]]

"As far as words of encouragement go: Barry Haslam would always tell me in his letters "I promise, I guarantee, I reassure you, that you will recover!!!"  and that always gave me great hope and comfort."

I wonder if we could have this phrase tattooed onto our brains? 

 

 

Hi tammie, nice to see you here. 

[[st...]]

Thank you so much Mr. B for posting this!  I just got the setback you decribe at the 6 year off mark and am still battling that but your story gives me so much hope since lately I start to wonder if I will ever truly heal.  I am 9 years off Effexor and now 6 and a half years off Xanax and thought I had made real improvements until this 6 year off wave hit.  I can't tell you how thankful I am you posted your story and if I ever completely heal from this journey I promise to post my story as well.  There's not enough long termer success stories on here but truly grateful for your story and congratulations on your success! 

[[pr...]]

As far as words of encouragement go: Barry Haslam would always tell me in his letters "I promise, I guarantee, I reassure you, that you will recover!!!"  and that always gave me great hope and comfort."

 

I wonder if we could have this phrase tattooed onto our brains? 

 

 

Whoopsie,

 

who is Barry Haslam? i am 5 years exactly and ind a very bad place.

 

[Guest [Jo...]]

As far as words of encouragement go: Barry Haslam would always tell me in his letters "I promise, I guarantee, I reassure you, that you will recover!!!"  and that always gave me great hope and comfort."

 

I wonder if we could have this phrase tattooed onto our brains? 

 

 

Whoopsie,

 

who is Barry Haslam? i am 5 years exactly and ind a very bad place.

 

http://ehealthforum.com/blogs/fiddy/guest-post-benzo-addiction-my-story-by-barry-haslam-b53629.html

 

Hadn't heard of him either.

[[Bg...]]

Mr. B

I have another quick question for you...Did Una, Dr. Ashton, and all the other experts you and your wife spoke to say that all the psychological symptoms that started due to the drugs/ and or their withdrawal would eventually go? I'm feeling like it is completely impossible to go back to who I was without these symptoms. I fear I will be the one who will be doomed.

 

Thanks!

[[Mr...]]

Thanks everybody for the kind comments, they mean so much to me!

 

Bgrace, I was told by  "EVERYBODY"  that  "ALL"  the psychological symptoms for everyone leaves with recovery. I also was told that  "EVERYBODY"  thinks that they are the worst and that they will be the one not to heal. I too felt that I was different and I was doomed to be sick forever. This is a symptom of this crazy syndrome and given time your mind will be yours again...as is mine.

 

Stronger, When this intensified for me it broke my heart and I truly felt defeated. All I can say is don't look at my time frame and think that your road to recovery will be the same. You really could wake up tomorrow and be your old self again. This is true for everybody here!

 

 

Hang in there all!

 

                Mr B.

[[Pe...]]

I too was wondering about the mental symptoms; feels permanent but it's an illusion I suppose. They went away at one point, just very disheartening that they reappeared and are hanging on. Good to read and re read these posts. Several of us have had symptoms return after feeling recovered, encouraging and hopeful to read this isn't that uncommon and we do go on to recover. Just really tough to believe when you are still in the thick of it and symptoms seem unending.

I too was on Effexor, as well as Xanax and Ativan, initial cold turkeys so I'm sure this comes into play. For me stress wreaks havoc with my brain, not always possible to avoid.

Thanks again Mr B; your posts make a huge difference.

[[Mr...]]

It is an illusion of the mind Pedro. Your mind is putting on a show for you...Don't buy a ticket!

 

When my psychological symptoms reemerged it nearly broke me as a person. This happened at around the same time that Prof. Ashton wrote her 2011 Supplement. That Supplement validates what I, you, and many others here have experienced.

 

Ashton herself says: "The brain, like the rest of the body, has an enormous capacity for adapting and self-healing. That is how life survives and how ex-benzodiazepine 'addicts' can be optimistic about their future."

 

 

That last line in her supplement gave me great hope!

 

 

  Kind regards,

 

            Mr B.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ne...]]

Congratulations !!!!!!!...... but now I'm very scared. I'm 107 day off "K" looks like I have a long way to go is it worth all that I'm going through ? 

Thanks for all your information and encouragement ! Blessing to you and family

[[Mr...]]

Never take a Benzo: I wouldn't worry if I were you. I was cold turkeyed off 6mg of ativan in a hospital with little to no information as to what was going to happen to me. I was later told that if I would have tapered, things would have been a lot easier for me. 

 

I was always told that this could go away tomorrow. I now say that to you and everybody else out there suffering.

 

As far as it being worth it. I grew exponentially as a person from this experience. I now appreciate life in ways that I never did before, and I am so happy to be alive and well! This changed me for the better in every way and it taught me to not sweat the little things in life.

 

     

              Kind regards,

                         

                              Mr B.

 

 

 

 

[[ro...]]

Quick question, did you have food sensitivities? Sorry if you've been asked this before. It sucks having insane reactions to foods even if they're healthy. I eat certain things and it ruins my day with worsening of anxiety, rage and OCD. Today I decided to try blue corn chips and almond butter again and they turned on me. Again... Getting a bit better now though. Thanks again for coming back to shed light on this hell.

[[Mr...]]

Hey Rockfan,

 

If I had any food sensitivities, I never discovered them. I never really noticed eating anything and having an increase in symptoms. Not that this is not the case for many here, just that for me I never noticed anything that caused an increase in my symptoms.

 

 

Mr B.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[st...]]

I meant to ask....Mr. B when did your 6 year off wave end?  Mine has been ongoing since last August.  It's had me discouraged and wondering if we really do completely heal.  I just can't believe it can come back this bad this far out.  Almost like all my progress has been erased. Is that how it was for you?

[[Mr...]]

Stronger, Every year I noticed my symptoms declining as they did the first time around. No windows, just easing up as time moved on. At around 10 years benzo free my windows started to happen. They were not 100% windows, but they gave me the hope that I needed to keep going, and as time passed, they got better and better until the window just stayed open.

 

Keep in mind that we are all different and you can't look at my recovery and expect the same. Tomorrow really could be the best day of your life!

 

 

The only thing that anybody should take away from my story is:

 

Even in extreme cases you will get better as time marches on.

 

 

Mr B.