Extreme fatigue support page

[[Lo...]]

Hi Sofa , sorry you are feeling so ill . The fatigue along with anxiety is the worst but on the positive side you are nearly a full year off and good things should start to happen soon !!

 

Hi Marj , I noticed you came off 6mg of valium/diazepam in just over a year ?? that's a great effort ! it took me 9 months to wean off 2mg and suffered the whole way . 18 months off now for you and you said it has come back again so I take it you are getting windows?? just ride it out , you know how it works a window is just around the corner!!

 

MT its great you are eating keep it up , rest up and keep stretching . Anything you can do to get through this mess.

 

Ive had a rough few weeks since my last window, I thought I might be heading towards another window earlier this week as I was semi mobile Monday and part of Tuesday . Unfortunately im on day 3 of a total washout plus anxiety is back. Just trying to kill hours till the next window.

 

everyday is a day closer to healing 

[[bl...]]

Hello buddies! 

 

I hope everyone is getting some relief from symptoms. What a ride this withdrawal recovery is, but thankful that we ARE ALL healing!

[[Lo...]]

Hi everyone ,

 

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. Been up and down since my last post unfortunately more down than up lol. I am grateful for the time ive had on my feet. 1 full day that i really had to push through and 2 half days on my feet so thats better than nothing i guess 

 

The good news is my cogfog and derealisation has cleared up and starting to feel like myself again . Unfortunately the fatigue and soreness is still brutal but we all gotta soldier on and keep fighting !

 

How are you all ? I hope the fatigue hasnt been too bad 

[[bc...]]

Hi everyone.....how are you all doing?  Just finished week 5.....and hanging on.....literally...awful depression, anxiety, feeling hopeless, headaches, body aches .and now bouts of extreme fatigue....again.  The fatigue comes and goes in waves.....it hits hard and lasts for a few hours and then leaves for a while and then back again.  Can't really function.....just in bed waiting for this wave to pass....and waiting.....and waiting.....and waiting....

 

Also, getting a lot of hot and cold spells and very cold feet......anyone else have this?

 

Sending healing thoughts to all......

[[Mi...]]

I'm just joining this page, as the fatigue seems to be taking over my life. I'm afraid that all that time in bed will cause my muscles and the rest of my body to fail. Has too much time in bed harmed you?

 

I still have 18 months to go (estimate) before jumping. I have a lot of symptoms, so am afraid to taper faster. Trying to use Ashton method. I'm still on a small amount (.16 mg.) of Ativan, along with 12 mg. Valium, and don't know whether to taper Ativan now or keep tapering Valium. The Ativan gives me more sleep, and I hate to lose that. But the interdose withdrawal is brutal.

 

I am microtapering. Never stabilize. Symptoms just keep building. Anxiety, depression,  fatigue, pain all over my body, myoclonic jerking of my arms and legs, nausea, fear, insomnia, etc. I'm afraid to drive my car and have lost my job, my friends, everything except my husband. And I will be 67 years old in a few weeks. By the time I'm done with tapering, I will be an old woman with old age diseases to worry about.

 

When I lie in bed, I get more depressed. But can't stay on my feet very long. This is hell.

 

thanks for listening, and I appreciate any tips you can offer,

MirandaJane

[[so...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I get the full body shivers, like with a fever, that keep washing through me for about 5 minutes.  It happens once or twice a day.  What is this?

 

I've been having an awful wave for 4 days now.  Completely bedridden.  I'm trying to remember the better times, but my Benzo brain makes it difficult.  It's hard to get any traction when feeling so lousy.

 

Sorry for the bummer post.  I pray we all turn a corner SOON.

 

Love Sofa

[[so...]]

Hi Miranda,

 

I'm 62 and understand how you feel.  I'm so absent from my children and grandchildren I feel like an outsider when I'm with them.

 

When we heal, we will rejoin them.  I know it must be difficult when you are still tapering off the drugs.  I was CT and do not recommend it.  I hadn't found any of these forums at the time of CT and had no help tapering from doctors.

 

Just keep plugging away, Miranda.  Before you know it, you will be off the drugs and healed.

 

Love Sofa

[[Mi...]]

Sofa - thanks for your support. Every day I think I just can't stand this. But I have no choice.

 

MirandaJane

[[Lo...]]

Hi everyone.....how are you all doing?  Just finished week 5.....and hanging on.....literally...awful depression, anxiety, feeling hopeless, headaches, body aches .and now bouts of extreme fatigue....again.  The fatigue comes and goes in waves.....it hits hard and lasts for a few hours and then leaves for a while and then back again.  Can't really function.....just in bed waiting for this wave to pass....and waiting.....and waiting.....and waiting....

 

Also, getting a lot of hot and cold spells and very cold feet......anyone else have this?

 

Sending healing thoughts to all......

 

 

Hi becalm ,

 

Hang in there buddy your doing great! You got this  . I know the horror of acute and your nearly there , keep fighting! Mine lasted 8 weeks you will get some relief shortly and its all healing from there .

 

sending you a massive healing hug  :mybuddy:

[[Lo...]]

Hi , Miranda .

 

so sorry your in such a bad state, withdrawal is the absolute pits. Im no doctor but the ashton manual recommends a full crossover to valium to taper off. If your not stabilising maybe you should look at your taper rates and slow it down a bit? Im being a total hypocrite when i say that as i tapered as fast as my body could handle and jumped too early, and i suffered horribly. There is no medal for first place in WD but if you manage to stay functional your definatly a winner!

 

 

Hi Sofa ,

 

sorry your in a wave , im in the same boat ATM and we can both ride this one together. I really how we snap out of it soon , i find hot epsom salt baths really help and stretching also to keep the muscle tightness at bay. Everyday is a day closer to freedom.

 

 

One day at a time buddies, keep strong.

[[bc...]]

Hi fellow BB's.....Thanks Lockie for your encouraging message.  Did you have all these horrible symptoms during the first 8 weeks...and did the symptoms lessen after that? Did you get any windows during that time? How are you doing now....are your waves just as intense?  This is just brutal.....  Thank you so much for the buddy hug.....I sure needed that.

 

Miranda Jane.......Sorry you are experiencing so much pain during the tapering.....I know how difficult it is.  You are not too old to get through this.....you have many good years ahead of you....I am in my 60's and am really struggling thru this....but I need to do this as I still have a lot of living to do and I want to spend time enjoying life with my husband, our kids and our grandkids.  Be strong....you can do this....

 

Sofa.....these waves are horrendous....I, too, am struggling thru one and it is really challenging my strength and courage.  I have spent a lot of time in bed during my tapering and in acute.  I have lost a lot of weight and muscle mass....but hoping that will eventually come back.  We need to be strong....our kids and grandkids still need us. 

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts to all........

 

[[MT...]]

Miranda, I think that feeling that we can't stand this or we won't make it is extremely common in wd. Sometimes I think of it as "trash talk"--like in sports when you're trying to rattle your opponent. I've been trying to talk back and say things like, "You're doing fine. Let's just get through this next thing. Good job. You did it. Now the next thing" and so on, like I'm talking to a freaked out little kid. It helps.

 

I'm looking forward to all of us having the emotional and physical energy to reengage with our family and friends without feeling like outsiders. It's going to be so sweet.

 

Bcalm, there will be an easing when you get through acute. I think for most of us at least a few symptoms would lighten up here and there but it's brutal. Totally worth it, but brutal.

 

Today I noticed I was carrying my symptoms a little more lightly. I wouldn't call it a window but maybe not repeatedly having my head pounded in by a wave. I'll take it.

 

MT

[[bc...]]

Thank you MTfan.....Definitely waiting for some of these symptoms to lessen after acute......better yet...if they would disappear forever.  This is a brutal experience.  So hard to understand how a little pill can be so destructive.  How are you doing?  Looking at your signature, you have had a lot of difficult drugs to taper....you deserve a medal for getting through all of that.  How long since your last taper and how are you doing with all your symptoms?  Have you been totally free of some symptoms? 

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts your way...... :smitten:

 

[[Lo...]]

Hi fellow BB's.....Thanks Lockie for your encouraging message.  Did you have all these horrible symptoms during the first 8 weeks...and did the symptoms lessen after that? Did you get any windows during that time? How are you doing now....are your waves just as intense?  This is just brutal.....  Thank you so much for the buddy hug.....I 8sure needed that.

 

Miranda Jane.......Sorry you are experiencing so much pain during the tapering.....I know how difficult it is.  You are not too old to get through this.....you have many good years ahead of you....I am in my 60's and am really struggling thru this....but I need to do this as I still have a lot of living to do and I want to spend time enjoying life with my husband, our kids and our grandkids.  Be strong....you can do this....

 

Sofa.....these waves are horrendous....I, too, am struggling thru one and it is really challenging my strength and courage.  I have spent a lot of time in bed during my tapering and in acute.  I have lost a lot of weight and muscle mass....but hoping that will eventually come back.  We need to be strong....our kids and grandkids still need us. 

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts to all........

 

hi becalm ,

 

Acute was 8 weeks of pure torture for me , the anxiety you cant put into words and the intrustve thoughts were so intense i was convinced i was about to pass away and i mean properly convinced. These are BENZO LIES !  You WILL pull through this and you WILL be ok . All the other symptoms were there too, extreme everything - cogfog , derealisation , hot flushes , cold limbs ( particularly my feet , i actually burnt my feet infont of the heater and they still felt cold) numbness , brain tingles , electric jolts , muscle soreness, fatigue, ect the list goes on and on.

 

just remember it is normal for all hell to break loose.

 

I had a 1 week window after my acute stage , but still felt like shit and after week 9 the symptoms returned to a lesser degree but with extreme fatigue and soreness. I have been improving slowly since then with your typical waves and windows in particular the cogfog ,depersonalisation, derealisation,  anxiety has died down alot and starting to feel like my old self again but the fatigue and soreness  is still brutal.

 

what MT said was very good advise about positive self talk, also hot showers or baths help with the soreness.

 

your going to be ok mate, keep battling . You will get there one day at a time. 

[[Lo...]]

MT , glad you aren't suffering as much . Enjoy it while it lasts  i feel what your saying about getting back into life, cant wait to be a functioning member of society again !

[[Mi...]]

Thanks, everyone for your replies.

 

Lockie - I am tapering more slowly than Ashton recommends. Only .05 mg. Valium per night. I can't imagine going more slowly. And if I slow my taper, as recommended, when I hit 9 mg., and then go even slower as I get lower, it will take 18 more months before I am off. The symptoms are already unbearable.

 

bcalm2 - Thanks for the encouragement. It's hard to think about the future. I have lost my job, friends, health, have no hobbies, no life to return to. Can't imagine how I will rebuild. I know I should try to think positively, but depression is overwhelming. I can't think of anything positive to think about!

 

MTfan - thanks for your encouragement too. You sound optimistic.

 

I had a bad spell of disorientation yesterday. I thought I was changing the volume on the TV, using the remote control, and couldn't understand why the volume didn't change. Then I opened my eyes and saw that I wasn't touching the remote. I'm scared. What if I do more irrational things? Wander outside without my keys. Burn myself on the stove. Get my medication dosage wrong. Forget to tell my doctor I need refills. Forget to eat (I only weigh 106 pounds). I don't even want depersonalization or derealization I read about. I feel like I'm losing my mind. If only I could stabilize.

 

I had a lot of panic in the night. I'm still trying to calm down. then I know I will crash and spend the day in bed. Will I lose muscle tone by spending so much time in bed? I'm so scared.

 

Thank you, buddies,

MirandaJane

[[Lo...]]

Hi Miranda , the ashton method is a guide only and you have to listen to your body , the aim is to stay functional not how fast you can finish . 0.5mg a day is huge cuts no wonder you are feeling crappy. I tapered 0.1mg a day , had long holds along the way and still suffered badly.

 

Please be careful in how fast you taper and good luck

[[MT...]]

I feel back in the vise today. Attended a workshop after zero sleep. Trying to learn on this huge topic and not being able to retain anything left me feeling incredibly stupid and just getting through the hours was torture at times. At least those hours of continuing ed are down. One more workshop this month. All of my symptoms have been kicked up today and I've felt despairing that I'll ever have normal sleep again. Heck, even just 3-4 hours every night, or every other night for that matter, would feel like tremendous progress. Discouraged. Using lots of positive self-talk to try to cope with the "I can't, I can't, I can'ts" One more day of work so I have to get through tomorrow before having the weekend off.

[[Lo...]]

Hi MT , at least you had a decent window and working-this is a positive. It sux your back in the vice mate , im in there with you  after what felt like dragging a 100kg lead weight all day on my shoulders yesterday i have finally given up and back on the couch . Time to go into hibernation  and hopefully re-surface soon, this fatigue and soreness is brutal , i would nearly be healed if it wasnt for my physical symptoms.

 

Keep strong mate . It will pass

[[Mi...]]

Lockie - thanks for your reply. You misread my post. I am cutting at .05 mg. per night, not .5, so my cuts are tiny. It takes me 20 days to cut 1 mg.

 

MirandaJane

[[bc...]]

Hi Lockie...thanks for your message.....hit a brick wall today with the deep, dark, depression....feeling really hopeless and fatigued.....can't find too many positives to keep me going....distractions aren't working very well.  Had a bit of relief yesterday afternoon.. didn't last long..after days and days of the depression, fear, anxiety and fatigue.....this is a tough road...putting one foot in front of the other is getting harder.

 

Sorry...this is a downer post....but....praying for strength to continue....

 

I do appreciate your messages of support and encouragement.....thank you so much for that.

 

Sending healing hugs to all.........

[[Mi...]]

becalm2 - I can relate to your last post. Every day is like climbing Mt. Everest, with depression, anxiety, fatigue, fear, etc. I try to tell my subconscious to heal my GABA receptors, as I lie in bed breathing deeply. Don't know if it helps, but I guess it beats repeating, "I can't do this." Anyway, it's my new strategy. I hope you can get through this , one day at a time.

 

Benzo Buddie,

MirandaJane

[[Lo...]]

Hi miranda , sorry i messed up on my post too. I was cutting 0.01mg a day so 20 days would be 0.2mg then i would have to hold for 4 days to 2 weeks depending on how i was going. As i got lower the holds were longer as sx got worse. Please check my signature.

 

listen to your body mate . I learnt the hard way i would hate for you to crash and burn.

[[Lo...]]

Hi Becalm , your doing great hang in there! Every hour down is an hour closer to coming out of acute.  Distract , meditate , have showers , play games on your phone. Whatever you can do to kill the time. You WILL pull through this . Dont forget your deep breathing excersises if the anxiety gets too bad.. keep strong mate im cheering for you.

 

 

 

 

[[bc...]]

Thanks Miranda Jane.....I think climbing Mr. Everest might be easier......these symptoms are brutal....they are so powerful.....nothing seems to chase them away.  But we must go on....and we will get through this.....thanks for the new strategy....I will give it a try....

 

Thanks Lockie...for the encouragement......there is no other way to get thru this....just one day at a time.  One day seems to last a week....

 

Sending healing thoughts to all........