Mentoring - those who are well (or better) reassuring those who struggle.

[[Fi...]]

I too appreciate the mentoring and encouraging thoughts.

As I taper off this final med at 60, I pray their is more time to live life and enjoy time with my husband. 

 

Please keep posting Fliprain. 

[[Wi...]]

 

Everyone - Good grief the pain of this is terrible, isn't it. I had almost forgotten the despair. You guys, take heart and do what it takes to say, "I am doing everything I know how to do to heal." For me that is Centering Prayer, the best food that money can buy, yoga, shooting basketball hoops, saunas, eating meals with beloved family, listening to uplifting podcasts at night before bed, drinking clean water, walking barefoot on the ground, touching the cheek of a loved one, gathering up my deaf, blind dog with all the tenderness I can muster, having an attitude of gratefulness and a deep desire to pour out all the love I feel to those who suffer. May you all take heart in your journey. If there are times you are tempted to quit, don't. No kidding. Do. Not. Quit. Life is too beautiful on the other side. It is too infused with meaning and engagement. Part of it is time and healing, and part of it is this intense desire to participate in the beauty. I wish I could be more clear, but that's about the best I can do. Life is stunningly wonderful if we choose it to be.

 

Beautiful, and life-saving for me tonight... I will keep these words close, Flip. Thank you from my heart.

[[Ma...]]

 

Everyone - Good grief the pain of this is terrible, isn't it. I had almost forgotten the despair. You guys, take heart and do what it takes to say, "I am doing everything I know how to do to heal." For me that is Centering Prayer, the best food that money can buy, yoga, shooting basketball hoops, saunas, eating meals with beloved family, listening to uplifting podcasts at night before bed, drinking clean water, walking barefoot on the ground, touching the cheek of a loved one, gathering up my deaf, blind dog with all the tenderness I can muster, having an attitude of gratefulness and a deep desire to pour out all the love I feel to those who suffer. May you all take heart in your journey. If there are times you are tempted to quit, don't. No kidding. Do. Not. Quit. Life is too beautiful on the other side. It is too infused with meaning and engagement. Part of it is time and healing, and part of it is this intense desire to participate in the beauty. I wish I could be more clear, but that's about the best I can do. Life is stunningly wonderful if we choose it to be.

 

Beautiful, and life-saving for me tonight... I will keep these words close, Flip. Thank you from my heart.

 

That is beautiful 

[[Al...]]

Hi ATU!

 

Don't despair . . . you'll get there. I tapered seemingly forever, but finally it was overrrrrr! Yay! And I got my life back. You will too. And I'm (ahem) a little older than you.

 

Hope you are doing okay today, my friend.

 

Katz

 

Katz,

 

I was just browsing this thread and saw that you chimed in with this. I had missed it back when the thread was current.

I just wanted to say thank you for that encouragement. This long taper of mine seems never ending and such an emotional roller coaster.

 

You really are an inspiration to me and you have been such great help over the years.

 

Bless you for being here for us for me.  :hug:

 

ATU🙏

[[Fi...]]

Having such a hard time these past few days.  Just switched over to compounded pills and it feels like a dose change.

 

Depressed and crying a lot. 

 

I hope I stabilize soon. 

[[Ta...]]

Time to bump this beautiful thread up.

[[no...]]

Time to bump this beautiful thread up.

[[Ta...]]

It seems that maybe some of us need reassuring words tonight, so I'll bump this thread up again.

Just in case Flipbrains words can offer assurance that we DO get better at our own rate.

Love to everyone here.

[[Fl...]]

B,

You have normal dread. It’s pretty hard to escape a quicksand pit and then feel pretty sure you’re going to get sucked back into it, isn’t it?

 

It might help to look at this journey as a dark tunnel with very occasional portholes. In order to get to the end where the tunnel opening is and where freedom is, you do have to keep on moving through the dark tunnel, but when you come to a porthole, you can stop and breathe fresh air for a while in order to give yourself the strength and courage to keep going.

 

Of course can do this. You ARE doing it. It takes courage, yes, but no one who has been on Valium for over 20 years lacks courage. Allow yourself to rest while you go inside and reset your intention to keep moving forward no matter what. Intentions are powerful things and they come from inside you, not from an outside source. We can remind you, yes, but the hard grunt work is up to you. The nice part is, that if you just don’t give up, healing will come.

 

Rest, be grateful for the “clearing”, and when (and if) the porthole closes, take a deep breath, take a step, then another, then another. You WILL reach the end and you will look back and wonder how you even did it. Your future free self will be so grateful to the present you. See if you can feel that future gratitude right now. It might just sustain you.

Go with care,

❤️

Flip

[[Ma...]]

B, I was going to post but Flipbrain said it perfectly.  Enjoy the hell out of the clearing, accepting it will probably close, but it's just such a gift while experiencing it.  Hope it lasts a long time.  Mary ♥️

[[Sa...]]

Any help from those that developed autoimmune issues and recovered?  I’m 14 months post ct.

 

Never ct!

 

Sara

[[He...]]

I love this thread!  We all need hope.  I feel better and better.  I’m not at the end of benzos yet.  But so close.    I truly feel more clear and hopeful than I have in several years.  I’m curious about my recovery.  I believe in it.  Life is worth it.  We’re lucky to have it. 

[[ca...]]

"Of course can do this. You ARE doing it. It takes courage, yes, but no one who has been on Valium for over 20 years lacks courage. Allow yourself to rest while you go inside and reset your intention to keep moving forward no matter what. Intentions are powerful things and they come from inside you, not from an outside source. We can remind you, yes, but the hard grunt work is up to you. The nice part is, that if you just don’t give up, healing will come."

 

POST from Dec/25/19 What beautiful words for today. I woke shaking, gut shaking, and my resolve shaking.

[[Fl...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Checking in to see how folks are faring during the global pandemic. Good grief! We all get pretty acquainted with what we are really made of during this time, don't we?

 

Hey SaraSue, if you read this, yes, a lot of folks were diagnosed with autoimmune issues during the crazy metabolic flucuations of benzo withdrawal and I'm pretty sure a lot of those diagnoses were proven false. I had a myriad of diagnoses that mostly turned out not to be true. But there are also plenty of people who have never had a benzo who have autoimmune problems, too, so not everything is linked to benzos. I'm learning that a very clean diet and good self care including sleep hygiene and thought hygiene, along with a mindfulness practice of some kind play a crucial role in healing from these things. I wish you much success on your journey.

 

Mary, Healing, and Candygirl  your words, perserverence and strength inspire me. 

 

I find myself going back to some of the lessons of Viktor Frankyl during the holocaust; through much suffering he came to the conclusion that we cannot choose our suffering, but that we can choose our response to that suffering and when we make a choice to find meaning with our response, we have a freedom that defies normal explanation.

 

He said the things that mattered during a crisis of suffering were;

 

1. The work we offer in time of crisis - Depending on where you are on your benzo journey, sometimes your work looks like not doing anything destructive as in thinking thoughts of hopelessness, eating junk food, destroying relationships, etc. It might be a simple as sitting all day coloring and a mindful present way. Years ago, there used to be someone one here who did just that; she colored all day and made works of art and considered it as a healing, mindful exercise. She allowed herself to just be. And she healed.

 

2. The love we give. - Animals, people, the earth, ourselves.

 

3. The ability to display courage in the face of suffering. This is a big one for me. Again its the little things.  I can remember I used to act as if I had a camera on me and was living my last day as a documentary and making some choices of behavior as if the way I lived that day would define my life. This helped me so much. It helped me get out of the mindset of always waiting for something to happen, waiting to heal. It gave me just an extra ounce of courage and sometimes thats all it took to get through the day.

 

4. The story we tell ourselves - To this day I define myself as a benzo survivor. When I get lucky enough to be sitting with a client who has just been prescribed a benzo, I tell them the things that are true, like not meant for long term use, addictive properties, etc. I tell them to be careful. Sometimes I tell them my story, though not often because it is not about me. I'm more prone to do that if someone thinks they can never "get off".

 

Right now, I'm telling myself the story about how we will survive this global pandemic and we will be better for it in some ways. I look at this time as a chance for transformation as a society. We could not sustain the way we were living. The planet is in trouble. This has forced us to simply stop in a way that would be unfathomable without a litte invisible virus forcing it. Already there is a clearing of the air and water and scientists are able to "hear" the earth's vibrations without all the human activity.

 

Still, there is a lot of fear. I feel it. I'm grateful for so many things, but I still feel this underlying anxiety about the future. Sometimes I feel a need to go plow up the back yard and plant vegetables and get some chickens. I'm probably not going to do that because I'm not really a gardener. I recognize this is survival fear in the face of global uncertainty and economic downturn.

 

I'm going to have some time on my hands now that we are practicing social distancing. If anyone wants to have a conversation, express deep fears, deep hopes, let's do it. Let's mentor one another right here until this thing passes.

 

Sending love and light to all.

Flip

 

 

[[Ch...]]

The voice of calm and reason... 

 

My daughter is caring for Covid patients in her role as an ICU nurse, Flippy... 

[[Fl...]]

Oh dear, Challis.  Please send her my thanks, my admiration, my awe.

You must have such mixed emotions!

Sending you love.

Flippy

[[Ch...]]

Thanks, Flippy... she’s doing better with it than I am.

[[Fl...]]

I can imagine. I'd be exactly the same. Prayers for her safety.

 

[[Ma...]]

 

You raised a very brave caring daughter Challis.  I know you are as proud as you are scared.  I can't imagine, but I will think about her everyday.  Thank you for telling us.  If you would like to tell us how you feel or rant about the position she is in, there is a whole community, all of bb , that will listen , and support you.  Stut went back to work as a nurse this week and I am getting a huge piece of poster board for my window, to thank all people on first line, Challis's daughter will be there too.

I won't ask you her name, but thank you for her.  Love you, Mary  :smitten:

[[Fl...]]

Amen.

 

[[es...]]

Challis, sending my love to you and your daughter. 🙏♥️Espy

[[Ta...]]

Amen, too!

[[ld...]]

Hi, I just need some helpful mentoring. This place has been so amazing (thanks Luey). As you all know, some days are so much worse than others. Outside stress, aside from tapering, make things much more challenging. I'm really struggling. ld

[[Fl...]]

ID, you said “As you all know, some days are so much worse than others“

 

Wow is that ever true! Going through the whole benzo thing is more than difficult. Add to it a global pandemic and it truly is the stuff of legendary hardship. I’m sorry you struggle today.

 

I woke up with this quote on my mind and had just gone back to retrieve it when I saw your post on this thread. I’m going to share it in case it might help you weather this time.

 

But after recovery, after they have chosen to live, these same people often truly live ---passionately, in a way many other people never achieve. Survivors embody extremes of human experience, such that every day misery is a near-stranger to them. At first, their pain is much worse than our every day misery, by a factor so large it would be difficult for most to conceive of it. And then later, after recovery, everyday misery is simply unacceptable. Life must be a passionate, conscious journey, or it is just not worth the survival effort.

 

Anyone who is on this benzo journey has made a conscious decision to live and live their best life, I think. Of course there is suffering and it absolutely sucks. Some days it feels undoable. But you know what? Because you are going through this, you will be changed and I think for the better. You will find places in yourself that will make you see through new eyes and you will come to understand your own version of that passionate, conscious journey that is worth your effort.

 

I used to lie in the dark during the worst of it and envision the future in details of hope and victory. I don’t know if that helped, but I think it did.

 

I hope your day gets better. I hope you can see where you are going and how glorious it will be when you arrive!

💗

Flip

[[Ma...]]

ID, you said “As you all know, some days are so much worse than others“

 

Wow is that ever true! Going through the whole benzo thing is more than difficult. Add to it a global pandemic and it truly is the stuff of legendary hardship. I’m sorry you struggle today.

 

I woke up with this quote on my mind and had just gone back to retrieve it when I saw your post on this thread. I’m going to share it in case it might help you weather this time.

 

But after recovery, after they have chosen to live, these same people often truly live ---passionately, in a way many other people never achieve. Survivors embody extremes of human experience, such that every day misery is a near-stranger to them. At first, their pain is much worse than our every day misery, by a factor so large it would be difficult for most to conceive of it. And then later, after recovery, everyday misery is simply unacceptable. Life must be a passionate, conscious journey, or it is just not worth the survival effort.

 

Anyone who is on this benzo journey has made a conscious decision to live and live their best life, I think. Of course there is suffering and it absolutely sucks. Some days it feels undoable. But you know what? Because you are going through this, you will be changed and I think for the better. You will find places in yourself that will make you see through new eyes and you will come to understand your own version of that passionate, conscious journey that is worth your effort.

 

I used to lie in the dark during the worst of it and envision the future in details of hope and victory. I don’t know if that helped, but I think it did.

 

I hope your day gets better. I hope you can see where you are going and how glorious it will be when you arrive!

💗

Flip

 

Really nice post Flip  :D