Mentoring - those who are well (or better) reassuring those who struggle.

[[Af...]]

Mozart, so good to hear you’re having some relief!

 

Flip, you said, “Someone else share an example of healed, OK? We want to let people see what it looks like so they can hold it close to their hearts.”

 

What fun! OK, here’s one from the-path-to-healing:

Last year at this time I couldn’t tolerate two people talking in the same room because my sensitivity to noise was so intense.

 

Earlier today, I spent an hour sitting right next to my son, helping him record a music lesson for school. I was keeping time for him by tapping rhythmically on his knee, while he played his alto saxophone – loudly, and out of tune, right in my ear.

 

God help me, if this is what it’s like to be healed, I’m gonna need the patience of a saint! (A deaf saint.) But I DI D IT. I could tolerate it. And my heart grew 3 sizes when I could help him pass his little test

Aft

 

[[Mo...]]

I AM OVERLY SEDATED ON VALIUM. IS THIS DANGEROUS? I AM SCARED. HEAD WOOZY. VERY OVERSEDATED. TOO MUCH TO DRIVE. SCARED. DON'T WANT BREATHING TO STOP. OVERLY WORRIED?

[[La...]]

I AM OVERLY SEDATED ON VALIUM. IS THIS DANGEROUS? I AM SCARED. HEAD WOOZY. VERY OVERSEDATED. TOO MUCH TO DRIVE. SCARED. DON'T WANT BREATHING TO STOP. OVERLY WORRIED?

 

Mozart, there are so many things that can cause your sxs that only some trials can clarify a little. It can be that something changed you methabolism of valium, tolerance withdrawal, change of brand, accidental overdose, adding effects, alcohol, other drugs. You have to thing if you did anything new that could have caused that.

[[Mo...]]

I AM OVERLY SEDATED ON VALIUM. IS THIS DANGEROUS? I AM SCARED. HEAD WOOZY. VERY OVERSEDATED. TOO MUCH TO DRIVE. SCARED. DON'T WANT BREATHING TO STOP. OVERLY WORRIED?

 

Mozart, there are so many things that can cause your sxs that only some trials can clarify a little. It can be that something changed you methabolism of valium, tolerance withdrawal, change of brand, accidental overdose, adding effects, alcohol, other drugs. You have to thing if you did anything new that could have caused that.

 

No. I am doing the Ashton crossover from Klonopin taper. Stage 4 of schedule 5. 39 years of benzos.

 

Love, Mo

[[au...]]

Hi there Flip  , and ladies  ," long time no see " (an Australian expression).

 

Im glad you started this thread Flip and happy to re-connect with some of my buddies from the "dark ages"  Morreweg, Magrita, Challis, mplsgrl, Pretty  :hug: :hug:

 

 

I tapered with my wonderful Dr however, effectively c/td off 7mg in hospital/detox, my choice against my Dr's advise.  Although

she has supported me through the whole process and continues to do so.  But there is still nothing like the comradery  that can be found here.

 

My experience has and is just as horrific as everyone's here.  I have chosen not to discuss to many details/symptoms as it has  been my intention to support and empower

 

I became a single mother while I was prescribed Xanax, not a bad thing in my case!  I have raised my son on my own, he has grown to be a fine young man and am extremely proud of him. This process has given him great insight and zero tolerance to all drugs and alcohol! 

 

I have lost nearly piece of my former life and am in the process of gaining the life I have always wanted

 

I feel I am close to the other side with the up and down some days and hours almost my old self, so close I can almost taste it 

 

 

 

[[Mo...]]

aussiegal, so nice to see you here....good to hear your son is

doing well....new Life is nearly there.....so happy for you. Thanks for

all the support in the past....I really appreciated it.

 

 

[[au...]]

aussiegal, so nice to see you here....good to hear your son is

doing well....new Life is nearly there.....so happy for you. Thanks for

all the support in the past....I really appreciated it.

 

My pleasure dear lady, without this place our paths would not have crossed and we would not have become friends 

 

"Vous voir à Paris"! Muwah muwah 

[[Mo...]]

aussiegal, so nice to see you here....good to hear your son is

doing well....new Life is nearly there.....so happy for you. Thanks for

all the support in the past....I really appreciated it.

 

My pleasure dear lady, without this place our paths would not have crossed and we would not have become friends 

 

"Vous voir à Paris"! Muwah muwah 

 

I loved the muwah bit ....never heard that before....he he he.ty.

[[au...]]

aussiegal, so nice to see you here....good to hear your son is

doing well....new Life is nearly there.....so happy for you. Thanks for

all the support in the past....I really appreciated it.

 

My pleasure dear lady, without this place our paths would not have crossed and we would not have become friends 

 

"Vous voir à Paris"! Muwah muwah 

 

 

 

I loved the muwah bit ....never heard that before....he he he.ty.

 

 

As the saying goes while in Rome or should I say Paris 

[[Fl...]]

Yay AussieGal! So good to see you. I think parenting is the most crucial job on the planet. The fact that you pulled it off so well during be so usage is beyond words terrific. I understand there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but to obvious you're one of the great ones.

 

Yes, this is a place of connection and support; it's a place to say how bad it was, how amazing it is, how you have grown. You will be a wonderful addition and contributor.

 

Tell us something that you never thought would get better that did. 

 

Hey AFT - love the "noise" tolerance story. Love that Jasper has you. 

[[au...]]

Yay AussieGal! So good to see you. I think parenting is the most crucial job on the planet. The fact that you pulled it off so well during be so usage is beyond words terrific. I understand there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but to obvious you're one of the great ones.

 

Yes, this is a place of connection and support; it's a place to say how bad it was, how amazing it is, how you have grown. You will be a wonderful addition and contributor.

 

Tell us something that you never thought would get better that did. 

 

Hey AFT - love the "noise" tolerance story. Love that Jasper has you. 

 

Thank you Flip, you have always been amazing and supportive 

 

I had dystonia and I mean really bad!!! My body and limbs would flail about uncontrollably. Towards the end of a 3 hour episode my Dr gently  held me as it subsided.  Bless her she made me feel safe.  I am left with a mild intermittent tremor in my left hand which is more annoying than anything. I have never had anything like this prior to benzodiazapine prescription.

Its amazing how we slowly start to realise more and how our creativity begins to return 

I still have a way to go, but know on the right side of the road now 

[[Fl...]]

Oh, wow, AussieGal, I don't think I had heard that about flailing about and the doctor holding you. That evoked such a deep empathy in me. These are the only times I get angry about how benzos are prescribed. I mean I stay a little angry about it, but don't often flair up. But this makes me angry in the sense I would get angry if I saw a child being abused. Or an animal. It makes me want to badly hurt the abuser and protect the innocent one. It's not quite that simple with benzos. The target of my anger is not well defined.

 

I am so grateful that you only have the residual tremor. It's remarkable how our nervous systems can heal given a chance. Insightful comment about realizing more and more; it's so true. It makes me wonder what I don't know right now that I will look back on in months or years and realize how clueless I was. This makes me want to walk carefully, speak gingerly, err on the side of forbearance. Thank you.

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... this is goofy ... when positive changes morph into health fears ... 

 

I have lost 10 pounds and the edema in my legs is much better ... and I worry that this is not "good" ...

 

Guess my perception has been so warped these last few years that all "change" is experienced as negative ...

 

Must find my crescent wrench ... I need an "attitude adjustment" ... 

 

Have a good Friday everyone ... 

[[Fl...]]

Nova, you mean any change is perceived as being suspect?

[[No...]]

Flip ... any change initiating health fears ... makes no sense to me ... just saying it is there and needs to be integrated ... part of the healing process I assume ... so much of this is about perception ...

 

Perhaps much like a "habit" or a "conditioning" ... needs to be released and accepted ...

[[Fl...]]

I think I went through that, Nova. It was as if anything different was a threat. Wake up, something was different (not bad, just different) and I would go into high vigilance. And it was even worse around health things. Once I lost three pounds in a week and even though that should be a great thing by anyone's standards, I suddenly felt like I was ill with some obscure disease. I constantly felt like I was dying and no one had a clue that it was so bad. It IS a faulty perception, I think. Usually.

 

I hope I live long enough to to see the research that will eventually come out about this. I'm betting this does things to our brains very similar to PTSD. I literally think differently now that I have some distance from it. I look back and am sort of horrified at the thoughts that used to go through my head. I kept a journal during the last few months of taper and the first few months post taper. I'm glad I did but wow was my thinking skewed. That's one of the things that makes me feel very patient toward those who are still in the thick of it. 

[[No...]]

Flip ... yes ... perception and then "thinking" ... trying to learn to stop at perception ... and just leave it there ...

 

The "tease" is trying to figure this process out ... there are some broad strokes that are usually important ... like ... we will heal ... time is the ally ... this is so different from our usual expectation of illness ... trust our bodies ... that sort of thing ...

 

If I try to go one iota deeper I usually just get into a useless loop ... and then the stress comes ... and I have added to my temporary misery ...

 

Staying out of my own way is a constant challenge ... 

[[Sk...]]

Flip ... yes ... perception and then "thinking" ... trying to learn to stop at perception ... and just leave it there ...

 

The "tease" is trying to figure this process out ... there are some broad strokes that are usually important ... like ... we will heal ... time is the ally ... this is so different from our usual expectation of illness ... trust our bodies ... that sort of thing ...

 

If I try to go one iota deeper I usually just get into a useless loop ... and then the stress comes ... and I have added to my temporary misery ...

 

Staying out of my own way is a constant challenge ... 

 

Have to say it's not easy to keep a healthy distance from your own thoughts no matter how sick and flawed they are. But that is what we have to do.

[[Fl...]]

Yes, Nova, staying out of our own way while still managing to be kind to ourselves. The single hardest thing for me has been not hating myself for my perceived weaknesses.

 

I still feel a bit driven, I think. I push myself harder than most of my family or friends push themselves. There is still learning to do. 

[[la...]]

(((((((FLIP)))))) :smitten:

 

What a wonderful thread my friend!!!!!

 

I'm sure that many, many folks here appreciate what you are doing because when you are struggling you need so desperately to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Thanks for everything you have done and keep doing on BB. I'll try to chime in when I have some time.

 

Love and big hugs.

Laura

[[Fl...]]

Laura!!!!! It's wonderful to see you lovely friend. I'm going to tell a little of your story if you don't mind. It is to encourage people.

 

So everyone, Laura was living in Miami when she was tapering.  I started reading her posts some 4 years ago and was astonished that she seemed to be getting more articulate every day. Turns out one of our members was helping her with English. I had no idea Spanish was her first language. Her posts were full of barely being able to walk upright while she went about her duties in a very upscale home in Miami, cleaning for hours on end while feeling like we all feel when we taper. She gained my 100% respect. She also functioned as a moderator on the old (Trap) forum and was invaluable in dispensing tapering advice and championing those who were suffering.

 

She finished her taper, began healing and moved back to Argentia where she and her husband literally built their own house with their own hands, down to clearing the land of rocks and digging for the foundation. I think she really began to heal on that land as they worked. Her posts became very earthy and content. She began to mention the rhythms of the days and seasons.

 

Now she is finishing up nursing school. I've seen her capstone type project. Guess what it was on? Yep, benzodiazepines. It was unflinching in how they shouldn't be prescribed for more than a short period. It was researched and documented, as thoroughly as this topic can be. It pointed out how little research, how few studies had been done and how many lives were affected.  It's probably more education on the topic than most nurses ever receive.

 

Laura, I hope you will come back and offer support. You have a lot to say. I've always adored your  gentle, "I can do this and so can you" attitude. I know you barely ever have an Internet connection and I know you are in practicum, so your time is limited. We will be here when you can come back.

[[ja...]]

Hi BB's, I wanted to give some encouragement also, but first hi to Laura. Laura was my angel who wrote my c/o and taper plan for me to give to my doctor. She will forever hold a place in my heart. I am convinced that having that plan for my doctor made all the difference in him helping me.

 

Ok, so a year ago I was struggling with numerous sx's. The pain in my back muscles made it very hard for me to walk. I was getting ready for my daughters wedding and had to visit venues, caterers and such. I would have to sit down constantly and of course my emotions were all over the place. A couple of weeks ago I cleaned out my attic, 35 years accumulation. No muscle problems. I walk, hike, shop I am on my way to complete healing.

 

I just got through another mini wave of anxiety and cogfog which can get me down if I let it, gosh darn it I want to be 100% now But I will be and so will you. I am grateful for this blog because if and when I get hit again I know I can come here and you will all get it and many times someone will say something I need to hear. I also hope that I can help anyone that is struggling.

 

One of the things I have been doing is taking Magnesium glycinate. I just added b6 and I'm waiting for my zinc to come. I am following Trudy Scott the lady who wrote the book The antianxiety food solution. She suffered with panic attacks and anxiety for years. I'm also following the summit she has put on. I never would have taken any B vitamins when I was tapering because they revved me up more, but now I am not having that problem. I will let you know if this works for me.

 

I will post a link to the summit. I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.theanxietysummit.com/

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

[[Fl...]]

Thank you, Jackie! Hey remember when your neck was crooked? What was that called? Has that gone away?

[[ja...]]

Crooked? lol

 

[[ra...]]

It is really encouraging to read your stories and keep being reassured that healing is happening. Good job and good luck all  I hope someday to be where you are, encouraging others.