Gratitude Support Group

[[no...]]

I am grateful that yesterday I managed to do all the below.....

 

16 March ...........

 

I went for a slow 30 minute walk over woods, tided the bedroom and cleaned the carpet with the carpet sweeper, I can't handle the noise form the hoover  :D     As it was well long overdue also dusted the bedroom for the  first time in 2 years!!!  I had to wear ear plugs and noise cancelling head phones at the same time as I have terrible Hyperacusis https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

 

But I did it!! I couldn't do it even with that lot in or on my ears  before but today I did it, and Sorted washing for the first time in 3 months, I did quite a lot I am pleased. And I can actually feel the emotion of pleasure the last couple of days here and there  as I get terrible  Anhedonia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia.....

 

That symptom is another biggie for me and has been for some time now, and sometimes if one symptom feels better there's usually a trade of that others get worse, old ones return or new ones appear.  And that has been happening to me, but as of now even though I still have a long way to go I feel as if I'm beginning to make some head way at last one way or the other.

 

Any tiny improvements happen so subtly that you don't even notice it's happening, and things are still nonlinear right now, it’s not like there's a cascade of good things happening all at once and I'm still very wavy. But slowly I'm able to do things I never thought I'd be  able to do again but am doing now doing now, it’s still all time, patience and acceptance the best I can, of a  present life situation I  have no control over.

 

But then again, that's true about life in general, I have no control over nothing I just have to do the best I can with what I have and am able to at any given time and under every and any condition or situation as it arises.

 

 

And  I am  also grateful that today I was able to catch up with more washing that's been sat rotting for a few months, prepared and have put a lentil soup on in one slow cooker and done a chicken and mushroom casserole in the other slow cooker so I’ve got food cooked in advance in-case I’m unable to do it at any time over the next few days so that eases that worry I am  also super grateful that my  relentless symptoms have eased up enough to enable me to do it all

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[MT...]]

Kitty,

 

Faithful friends and family are worth their weight in gold. I'm grateful for the time I spent with a new friend today. Being able to socialize like that and reach out to folks in fairly recent as I'd been too sick. Every burst of normalcy, even just being able to imitate it, is a gift.

 

Way to go Nova

 

MT

[[...]]

I am grateful that yesterday I managed to do all the below.....

 

16 March ...........

 

I went for a slow 30 minute walk over woods, tided the bedroom and cleaned the carpet with the carpet sweeper, I can't handle the noise form the hoover  :D     As it was well long overdue also dusted the bedroom for the  first time in 2 years!!!  I had to wear ear plugs and noise cancelling head phones at the same time as I have terrible Hyperacusis https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

 

But I did it!! I couldn't do it even with that lot in or on my ears  before but today I did it, and Sorted washing for the first time in 3 months, I did quite a lot I am pleased. And I can actually feel the emotion of pleasure the last couple of days here and there  as I get terrible  Anhedonia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia.....

 

That symptom is another biggie for me and has been for some time now, and sometimes if one symptom feels better there's usually a trade of that others get worse, old ones return or new ones appear.  And that has been happening to me, but as of now even though I still have a long way to go I feel as if I'm beginning to make some head way at last one way or the other.

 

Any tiny improvements happen so subtly that you don't even notice it's happening, and things are still nonlinear right now, it’s not like there's a cascade of good things happening all at once and I'm still very wavy. But slowly I'm able to do things I never thought I'd be  able to do again but am doing now doing now, it’s still all time, patience and acceptance the best I can, of a  present life situation I  have no control over.

 

But then again, that's true about life in general, I have no control over nothing I just have to do the best I can with what I have and am able to at any given time and under every and any condition or situation as it arises.

 

 

And  I am  also grateful that today I was able to catch up with more washing that's been sat rotting for a few months, prepared and have put a lentil soup on in one slow cooker and done a chicken and mushroom casserole in the other slow cooker so I’ve got food cooked in advance in-case I’m unable to do it at any time over the next few days so that eases that worry I am  also super grateful that my  relentless symptoms have eased up enough to enable me to do it all

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Hi Nova, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you are able to do a bit more , that is so good to hear, you deserve to feel better after such a long struggle. I hope it continues ..... I was reading the up dose group you started as I am considering it myself . Thank you for starting that group, I will check in there along with the long hold group which is where I usually hang out

 

As this is the gratitude support group, I want to say how grateful I am to all the buddies here who I have had the honor of meeting on this journey, and for the wisdom , support , and suffering shared.

MiYu

[[MT...]]

I'm grateful for the hike I was able to go on yesterday and the kind patient people who made the rough parts more possible. The views and company made it worth the suffering Today as I deal with the aftermath I'm reminding myself to reflect on the gratitude rather than focusing on my grumbles about the impact. These tastes of normal activities can be a lifeblood during harder times.

[[no...]]

I am grateful for laughter. :laugh:

 

I am having a bad day today and was thinking over the last couple of days that I can't remember the last time I actually laughed and certainly not out loud, its been that long.  Well amongst all the pain and suffering I just laughed out loud at something, then realised I did it after wards 

so today I am grateful that some where inside deep within is buried still the gift of laughter.  I am grateful it let its self be known today I thought it was a part of me that was gone forever the gift of laughter, and to feel the emotion of joy  that laughing evokes 

 

It actually felt what it is a 'feel good' chemical as I was doing it, I am in awe of what we're capable of under such extreme conditions and always shocked how things can turn around on this journey. I am still hurting and will probably revert back to being seriously depressed and homicidal about certain things just as quickly 

 

And even though I'm  I feel rough man!! I enjoyed that laugh  and the buzz I felt from it, a tiny chink of normal'' but a big light in  what often feels like the darkness is all there is and always will be. But its not true, and just for now I can believe and appreciate that truth, and its enough for me in this time and place

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[...]]

That's so great Nova

I am grateful that the sun is shining today, and for the lovely spring flowers that are showing now 

[[MT...]]

Nova and Mi, laughter, sunshine and spring can sure lift the spirits in the midst of all of this. Even when it's brief, any respite is precious. I'm grateful for making it through my week and having a quiet today. Also I'm grateful for reconnecting with two friends today. I'd been feeling lonely, cast off and irrelevant and so it felt good to have them reach out to me.

[[...]]

MT, yes, I understand feeling  lonely..... This can be a very lonely journey, especially when we feel anxious about things, people , places etc. Inalso and a friend reach out to me today, it made me cry, and it made me anxious too ,but I am grateful as he offered to take me on a little drive if I'd like. It can be so hard to trust during this process, as we never know how we will respond to situations , and that can be very isolating .

So I am grateful for friends too, trusted friends , they are few , and even one makes a difference .

Love,  MiYu

[[MT...]]

MiYu,

 

I'm glad you got out. I strongly believe that despite how awful we feel, we need to get out some and interact to maintain our sanity and assist in our recovery. That's not to say crazy overdoing it. Just some reminders of why the fight is worth it.

 

I'm grateful that I've been getting more stretches of sleep. I've had about 5 weeks of either zero sleep or no more than minutes to an hour at a time adding up to a few hours a night. So having a handful of stretches this past week of 90-120 minutes at a time is a big deal. I'll feel close to giving up sometimes and then something good will happen. Gotta keep looking for the good though because it's easy to miss while we're looking for the big stuff and being bitter. That's how I am, anyway.

 

Love,

 

MT

[[Va...]]

Can’t believe this thread has fallen to the wayside!! It’s integral to our recovery to think in terms of gratitude!! I challenge all who read to list things they are thankful for...anything from being alive to feeling your toes..it’s a perspective issue...peace

[[MT...]]

Valiumhead,

 

I soooo agree. It may sound sometimes like I'm a Polyanna type but I actually deal with a super negative mind. Daily gratitude has been lifesaving. Sometimes I can't *feel* it at all but just forcing myself to look for things to be grateful for gets me out of the doom and gloom spiral. Today I'm grateful for a long videochat with my kids and that I'll get to see them Friday! I'm also grateful for how far I've traveled in these past 3 years off benzos. It's been tough but worth the fight!

 

 

[[wa...]]

Me too, me too!  I miss this thread.  In fact my BB inbox has been small these last few weeks and I should really look through my post history to bump the ones I like.

 

Although I am after myself pretty much every waking moment, I've been able to make new friends this past weekend.  I always think no one is interested in me.  I am grateful for friendship.  W

[[ch...]]

I'm grateful to have enough energy to do some housework and get out for a walk with my dog on this sunny day. 

[[Le...]]

Hello everyone!

 

Never noticed this thread!

 

I am grateful for being able to feel myself reconnecting with my true self during a window

 

Also very grateful for this site and the kind people on it.

 

Regards,

 

Leo

[[MT...]]

I'm grateful for making it 8 hours in bed last night for the first time in months and months. I was up several times and part of it was awake but it was still a fantastic feeling. Bit by bit we get better and that's amazing after all we've been through.

[[Gr...]]

I'm grateful for these amazing warm boot socks.  They are so comfy and warm. 

[[wa...]]

I'm grateful for making it 8 hours in bed last night for the first time in months and months. I was up several times and part of it was awake but it was still a fantastic feeling. Bit by bit we get better and that's amazing after all we've been through.

 

OMG MT - that is so great to hear!

 

I am grateful I own 2 musical instruments to fool around on.  They are a good distraction.  W

[[be...]]

I am Grateful that I have BB to come to each day. And this third taper is better much better than the first two. 🕊 Peace.

[[MT...]]

I'm grateful for yummy Christmas cookies and for being able to watch Star Wars with my husband and kids tonight.

[[no...]]

I am grateful that for the first time in 3 year's I actually managed to spend Christmas day with my sister and other family members instead of laying on the floor moaning  with sxs in front of the TV I am also grateful that although today all that stimulation has caught up with me big time  :D That I managed to push myself and get out for a walk instead of sitting going insane with hypervigilance  and escalating sxs And another thing I am grateful I managed to cook an enjoyable meal after not eating properly for days

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[...]]

awesome mtfan - so happy to hear it!! 

 

I'm grateful for making it 8 hours in bed last night for the first time in months and months. I was up several times and part of it was awake but it was still a fantastic feeling. Bit by bit we get better and that's amazing after all we've been through.

[[no...]]

awesome mtfan - so happy to hear it!! 

 

I'm grateful for making it 8 hours in bed last night for the first time in months and months. I was up several times and part of it was awake but it was still a fantastic feeling. Bit by bit we get better and that's amazing after all we've been through.

Yay MT  I second what 1966 said I'm pleased for you sleep is really precious to us all :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

I am grateful that today I was able to do some house work cook another nice meal and have enough left for tomorrow if I’m not able to cook then, and I am also grateful that I haven't had to spend all day laying down as I have the last 2 or 3 days 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[no...]]

I am grateful today I am laughing!!  good old fashioned  ''Man!! that's really funny'' laughing!! I am also grateful I am laughing at myself, that's big  part my NORMAL pre Benzo self I laugh at my own stupid mistakes, my own humorous thought's,  daft shit I've done unwittingly, and my eyes seeing something that's not there when reading certain words. And enjoying the laughter and not even being aware the symptoms I can't stop thinking about continuously ( Benzo brain rumination you got no control over ) about are actually still there, just aware of  the joy in the moment of the laughter.  I can't remember the last time I laughed like that while sat alone, but boy! it feels good!

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[MT...]]

I'm grateful to be reading about the good things that are happening in your lives. There's good in the midst of the muck. I had a really rough day at work today but I'm grateful as I realize I couldn't have handled this day a year ago as well as I did today. It would have been tough for anyone but it didn't destroy me. Baby steps!

[[no...]]

I'm grateful to be reading about the good things that are happening in your lives. There's good in the midst of the muck. I had a really rough day at work today but I'm grateful as I realize I couldn't have handled this day a year ago as well as I did today. It would have been tough for anyone but it didn't destroy me. Baby steps!

Hi MT Yep! its baby steps fall down get back up again repeat  It really is the little things that probably go unnoticed by us most of the time that are our brains and body's in motion heading back to the correct state, its good to see you making progress I know its slow but its still progress.

 

I had to up-dose back to a dose I was last on a few year's ago, 4 or 5 maybe? but it was necessary I had to move as I had a neighbour from hell living above me and my survival was at risk, and tapering was impossible so I had to up dose to a place where I was able to function enough to move from my long time home.

 

Ok its not perfect and its still a bit noisier than I would like but the good thing is I'm now on the first floor with no one banging about above my head playing PC games through speakers 24/7 so I get some precious sleep I was going weeks not sleeping just passing out for minutes then getting woken up again. So I'm seriously grateful for that. And when I know I'm ready I will resume tapering back down again at a pace that's acceptable to me, there is no right or wrong way.

 

And I'm not going to borrow trouble by convincing myself or listening to others that its going to be a lot worse coming back down it is what it is until its something else, and who knows I maybe pleasantly surprised and it maybe a lot better. But I'm not going to get myself all geared up for bad crap before I even began I will take it moment to moment day by day as I have all this time   Hers looking forward to you making even more progress this year Happy new year my friend

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: