Your Appearance in w/d

[[Se...]]

Dear God, Nova, you are an inspiration.  Much love to you!!!    You will do this.  I have no doubt in your spirit.  Look how far you have come.

[[no...]]

Dear God, Nova, you are an inspiration. Much love to you!!!    You will do this.  I have no doubt in your spirit.  Look how far you have come.

 

 

Back atcha' Serenity  ,  I love that word Serenity  . before the benzos put paid to me becoming a mother I planned to name my first daughter serene. As  you no doubt know, serenity means  the state or quality of being serene, tranquility.   And its a word that sounds like its meaning I think, the same as Shangri-La.

 

A  mystical, harmonious valley, a mythical Himalayan utopia – a permanently happy land, isolated from the outside world. In the novel Lost Horizon, the people who live at Shangri-La are almost immortal, living years beyond the normal lifespan and only very slowly aging in appearance. Lets go live there

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Se...]]

"A  mystical, harmonious valley, a mythical Himalayan utopia – a permanently happy land, isolated from the outside world. In the novel Lost Horizon, the people who live at Shangri-La are almost immortal, living years beyond the normal lifespan and only very slowly aging in appearance. Lets go live there."

 

Sounds divine.    You know, though, when we're all done with this w/d crap, I strongly suspect we'll no longer need to fantasize about utopias, as just living comfortably in our own skins again will seem enough of a reward. 

 

Warmest,

Serenity

[[mi...]]

it is hard for me to even get ready for work.....and my days home I look like a bag lady.....I also started to lose my hair but have started taking biotin and it has grown back amazingly....stress and anxiety can take a major toll on your looks....but it does get better....when I drop down I am bad for about 2 weeks then I start to go back up.....I find a lot of natural supplements can do a world of good on repairing the body...

[[Al...]]

MissKitty Your hair will stop shedding and the hair will grow back and when it does that's a reminder that we are healing.

 

My husband is a Plastic Surgeon. I never went off any of my anti aging creams since recovery. I continue to go for a weekly manicure, I continue to bleach my teeth, I sleep with a night guard. All these little things are making me feel really good and are helping me recover.

[[Ke...]]

ive gotten worse...

my eyes look like they have been punched multiple times and have sunken into my head - im 30 by the way...

 

skin is terrible, dry, flaky, losing muscle/fat due to insomnia in face/hands etc...

 

its horrendous...

 

hair is dry and course

 

face droops...

 

i look like im nearing 40s rather than just turning 30....

[[xa...]]

ive gotten worse...

my eyes look like they have been punched multiple times and have sunken into my head - im 30 by the way...

 

skin is terrible, dry, flaky, losing muscle/fat due to insomnia in face/hands etc...

 

its horrendous...

 

hair is dry and course

 

face droops...

 

i look like im nearing 40s rather than just turning 30....

 

 

So do I. It would be great if we have a reward when our tapers are finished.

[[cr...]]

I am half way through a taper and really look old, I lost 40 pound quickly and unintentionally.

Now I have all this hanging skin on my body, does anyone know how to get rid of the hanging skin?

I will have to wear long sleeves and long pants in these brutal summer temps that are coming up. Sure hope this taper is a success, because I am sure stuck on ugly now.

[[je...]]

MissKitty Your hair will stop shedding and the hair will grow back and when it does that's a reminder that we are healing.

 

My husband is a Plastic Surgeon. I never went off any of my anti aging creams since recovery. I continue to go for a weekly manicure, I continue to bleach my teeth, I sleep with a night guard. All these little things are making me feel really good and are helping me recover.

 

 

Always,

Since your hubby is a plastic surgeon, do you know if we could do botox? I'm just wondering if it would Rev us up in w/d or if it wouldn't be a problem.

[[no...]]

MissKitty Your hair will stop shedding and the hair will grow back and when it does that's a reminder that we are healing.

 

My husband is a Plastic Surgeon. I never went off any of my anti aging creams since recovery. I continue to go for a weekly manicure, I continue to bleach my teeth, I sleep with a night guard. All these little things are making me feel really good and are helping me recover.

 

 

 

Always,

Since your hubby is a plastic surgeon, do you know if we could do botox? I'm just wondering if it would Rev us up in w/d or if it wouldn't be a problem.

 

 

There is no definite yes or no to Botox Jen,  I can't got near hair dye but others  are  fine with it, and after seeing Famous people getting nerve damage and facial paralysis from it with no benzos I wouldn't want to hazard a guess as to what might happen.

 

Not only that but Botox  can make wrinkles  appear worse  once you stop using it because normal aging is still happening when you use it . But its a matter of choice to each individual as to what they want or will have done

Nova xxxx  :smitten:

 

[[no...]]

I think some of this is our minds playing tricks with us. Like several of you I'm used to looking younger than my 52 years-more like late 30s so it feels horrifying to look in the mirror and see my mother But when I was bemoaning my old-lady neck to my husband and son this weekend they told me they don't see what I see and told me my perception is warped. Benzo wd warps so many things that I bet none of us look like the horror show we feel like...except maybe in the mornings

 

unfortunately  in my case its definitely big changes going on as my picture from 5 months ago look like another person all together, I cant wash, brush or comb my hair as its far too painful and laying down on my hair is a challenge as well. I used to do hair dressing and always looked after my own hair, but as the sxs got worse I went to a hairdresser, I can't get out to see one now and the last time I had it colored it was hell!! 

 

The hair dye I had no problems with before burned like crap and was coming out of my hair with every wash, so besides the pain and stress my hair now can't hold the colour at all. And my hair just being on my head is painful like its all stripped nerves and I have this all over my body and its getting worse. 

 

I can't put and cream or anything on now as that ramps up the pain and burning redness even my skin feels too much for my body. I have deep ridges on all my nails which is a sign of bad trauma, and where my muscles are gone slack as I cant exercise properly.  I can't bear the skin touching any clothing or skin. I have painful lumps all over my body and in my mouth that come and go in different places inside and outside my body paniful pus filled spots, other rashes, and trying to shower or wash is agony and traumatic.  :D

 

My skin peeling off like fatty wax in some place and like dry crystallized bits in others. Stevie Nicks said that the klonopin turned her hair grey, put loads of weight on her and her skin was all mottled so we can't ALL put it down to benzo delusional, although I know it can and does happen. But what's happening to me is obvious to other people  A friend I seen a while ago looked at me and said''You look old now for some one that looked year's younger''. 

 

And I had perfect teeth and I now have damaged stained teeth where the benzos cause tooth breakages and ended up having dental surgery done at the dental hospital because their splitting at the roots inside the gums and its murder to try remove them  And what looks like big pockets of cellulite all over the place as well

 

Even my vagina dropped for two year's at one point but thats seems to be okay now ans I had a proplapsed anus which is okay now, but I have other benzo related problems down there and with my bowels and GI and Urinary tract. But I'm not going near any Doctors as its pointless , they did or couldn't do anything,and other things have rectified their self but by bit in the order the body deems fit to heal it.

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

You are still tapering and not drug free. A good reason to hold on.

 

 

 

 

Hi Xavier  In fact I have a 100 or more reasons to hold on,  but I  can't  post them all on this thread as their ''off topic '' on here  But on topic, I have now sent for a wig that looks very much like my own hair, well the picture does anyway  so for now its 'Hair by Amazon.com'' I hope I'm able to wear it as my own hair hurts, but being on benzos for 30+year's CT'd by doctors, kindled by Drs. And in tolerance withdrawal for over 8 year's now in my 2nd year of tapering. And coming off CT or tapering lots of poly drugs its no wonder me and my body are  in trauma  :D   But I'm still battling on 

 

Nova xxx  :smitten: 

 

 

 

Well my wig arrived and it looks well,.................. WIGGY!!  I never noticed when I bought it that is made from real hair, so I'm going to shampoo and try restyling it and that may make a difference. But I found another way to hide the mess that is my hair, a head wrap I made out of a Kaftan I don't wear anymore. I did that for year's made from lots of different old clothing in a rainbow of colors  but totally forgot about it with this messed up brain. And it hides a  multitude of sins  where the hairs concerned and only a Burka could do anything about the face and body right now 

 

My nails are still growing strong and long a lot quicker than normal, my Toe nails were as hard as Diamonds and cutting them took some work, and my Finger nails look like they've been growing well over week after 3 days? So the healing unseen continues, and I've read a lot around the web where others had 'Benzo  face and body battering'' and are now delighted and shocked by how well they feel and look even younger than before Benzos.

 

And yes I know its disconcerting when its happening to you no matter what you read, I am having it too and each week I look older, but  if my nails can do what their doing them there's hope that eventually everything will return or be even better than before. Mind as long I have inner peace happiness when all of this is over after year's of already suffering I will be very pleased 

 

 

Nova xxxx  :smitten:

[[Al...]]

Jenny21-My husband is a top Plastic Surgeon and he is well recognized (not to sound like I am bragging however he co-authored many plastic surgery books and he lectures all over the world). I have been getting Botox for years and yesterday I went to his office and I had some. I did not have a wave from it nor did I have a wave the last time I had some. Botox usually lasts for about 4-5 months. Botox also fights off migraines and can help with depression. Most people find that when their Botox wears off they want me because the results are so amazing. There is no down time barely any bruising (the needle is tiny) and you feel and see the results usually within one hour.

 

It's very important that if you do decide to have Botox that you go to a board certified Plastic Surgeon who knows how to properly inject Botox. My husband feels it's always best to start off with a minimal amount and then you can always add more Botox if needed. If works wonders for the crow's feet, the forehead and my husband also injects the lines on the neck as well as the cheek bones that lift your skin and make you look as if you had a face lift. Trust me I know all about plastic surgery and my husband is an artist:)

[[MT...]]

Nova, it sounds like you're making progress. You're creative. My nails were the first thing that recovered but I had to force feed myself and make sure I took in adequate dietary fat before it happened. I like your thought that nails healing could be the beginning of the rest happening. I'm ready for that

 

The research on botox and depression is funky. Basically when we frown it fires up the mirror neurons in our brain telling it to be sad and depressed. The botox interferes with that. But I think we can also practice smiling even when we don't feel it. Thich Nhat Hanh encourages that--no needles or chemicals involved!

[[je...]]

Always-- how much does botox cost? Thanks for all the info 

[[Al...]]

Jenny21-Every doctor has different rates based on the amount of cc's that you are getting. Botox can range from $300-$600.

 

MTFAN-I've had Botox twice since recovery and I never had one side effect. I had more of a negative side effect from taking Vitamin D or Magnesium so go figure haha! Obviously everyone should do what makes them feel comfortable.

[[Ke...]]

Most def gona need botox for the rest of life after this fucking go around!  :crazy:

[[xa...]]

Most def gona need botox for the rest of life after this fucking go around!  :crazy:

 

or stem cells within 10-20 years or so 

[[Re...]]

Don't want to worry anyone but I still have bloodshot eyes and dark circles even after 3+ years. Although, it has gotten better, this is still hanging on...ugh!  Was wondering if anyone else is dealing with eye problems this far out?

[[Ke...]]

Don't want to worry anyone but I still have bloodshot eyes and dark circles even after 3+ years. Although, it has gotten better, this is still hanging on...ugh!  Was wondering if anyone else is dealing with eye problems this far out?

 

 

awesome, something to look forward to!

thanks!  :'( :'( :'(

[[Re...]]

Sorry Keep It Moving, I'm sure you'll be ok much sooner, I had a severe reaction after only 3 days! I guess it's taking me so long because I am VERY sensitive to these damn pills. I just want to look healthy again! 

[[MT...]]

Stupid, stupid, DAMN pills. I'm right with you Redeyes. My eyes have been wacky through this whole thing with irritation, itching and blurriness. I used to fault my eye guy for a bad correction but Dr. Benzo was the problem!

 

Today in church someone told me I looked "spry and energetic." I wanted to burst out laughing. I dragged myself there and was pondering at that moment, "Can I make it through this?" Makeup can do some amazing things, but "spry?" That must have been fairy dust

[[no...]]

Hi all  I too feel and look like more crap each day crap but the more I read and research and from personal experience of undergoing a wonderful transformation when  a over year  for a few weeks having an 84% window. I went  from  looking ancient and then young and really fit looking to  more ancient  and now in a bad wave again.  I think is because our bodies get a break from all the trauma in a window whether its a full or partial one where things are bearable enough to live your life fully

 

I believe  we will look so much better and see things differently as we see and feel  ourselves improve slowly but surely, a bit  by bit. But right now it feels and looks like this is never going to get better, and edging towards worse, but don't forget in a crisis keeping us looking good over survival  and repairing our brains is the last thing on our bodies '' List of priorities'' of where to begin rebuilding

 

I know doing what got us in to a mess in the first place, putting alien chemicals that don't belong in or on our bodies, is not the answer remember Benzodiazepines and ALL drugs were considered ''safe'' now look whats happening. But we all have our right to our own personal choices and opinions, I'm just exercising the right to mine, and certain things I know to be true or by personal experience  .

 

Our bodies are dealing with the cause of our ailments not putting a band aid on the injury which will never heal without curing the root cause of all our problems. Other wise it stays with us for life, this is Natural law,  and we are created with the ability to  to ''self repair'' look at how broken bones heal and even worse than that.

 

  Stress hormone cortisol is often referred to be a catabolic hormone, as it’s known to breakdown muscle tissue for instant needs of your body. Catabolism defines the breakdown of molecules to obtain energy, which basically means that it’s the polar opposite of anabolism.

 

When you’re in the catabolic state, your body is breaking down. It’s breaking down your muscle tissue and basically everything it can to obtain energy.Catabolism defines the breakdown of molecules to obtain energy, which basically means that it’s the polar opposite of anabolism.

 

And we're ALL rampant with Cortisol from withdrawal so whats happening is our bodies are using all its energy to do repairs and can't put spare energy in to all its normal functions, just whats necessary as it now needs a huge amount of energy  as we're under reconstruction. So our bodies are diverting the energy to where its needed most for our survival and renewing our temporary brain damage.

 

And once it no longer needs to work so hard then we get physical  ''appearance repairs' on going while getting  ''windows''  of where to begin rebuilding and once things are having a 'rebuild vacation'' (windows) in order to allow the foundations to settle so more repair work can continue. 

 

And another ''wave of repairs'' starts where its needed to establish  the overall infrastructure all great monuments are built slowly bit by bit, and then stand as a testament of  time great strength, tenacity. But I will still be on the moan while I'm unwell, whether you know or understand something does not take away your humanity. Or the fact  you are suffering so terribly, but it will  all change for the better in time  but everything gets worse before it gets better when  your so very unwell overall.     

 

Nova xxxx  :smitten:

[[MT...]]

Wise words, Nova

[[Re...]]

Yes MTfan, thank heavens for the wonders of makeup! Definitely has helped me to not look so zombified.  And thanks Nova for that explanation...it helps to put things in perspective at just how hard our bodies are working to repair and heal us. I just wish my brain and body would hurry up on the "appearance repairs"! 

[[Mi...]]

Wearing seats everyday at home no make-up if I go out I just throw on jeans no make-up hair up & I look old as the hills.....3rd year on this taper has aged me terribly.