Your Appearance in w/d

[[no...]]

CRAZYPANTS-I don't think you look so terrible and I work in the world of plastic surgery. You are in acute w/d you are going to get better. This is just the beginning.

 

Can you please tell me how add a recent picture. I will be more than happy to show you a picture of me taken last Thursday.

 

Nova1-I work in the world of Plastic Surgery. If you can get some Vitamin C oil and rub it on your face every night that is great for your skin and texture. My skin has not really changed since I continued using Retin A and Vitamin C daily. I don't know if they sell Vitamin C in the UK but wanted to share it with you.

Fran

 

 

Thanks Fran,  can you suggest a good brand? Its okay to do that as long as we don't post links to where it's sold

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Lo...]]

i just ordered some vitamin c for my face. yay.

[[Al...]]

Nova1 and Longwalktofreedom

 

I use Multi Antioxidant Therapy Vitamin C Feruliic Serum at night. I swear by Precision MD Celfix DNA Youth recovery facial serum in the AM. Google them because I get them from my office. Every one should be on Retin A. In the USA you need a script for Retin A but go very slow on it. You apply just a drop to your face every other night in the beginning. I used to use Retinal 0.1 by Avene but I switched last Jan to Retin A which is stronger and prevents aging and wrinkles. I had skin cancer on my face. Retin A is supposed to reverse any sun damage but it takes two years. Everyone can my results in my picture which was taken a couple of months ago. I hope this helps.

 

Francesca:)

[[no...]]

Nova1 and Longwalktofreedom

 

I use Multi Antioxidant Therapy Vitamin C Feruliic Serum at night. I swear by Precision MD Celfix DNA Youth recovery facial serum in the AM. Google them because I get them from my office. Every one should be on Retin A. In the USA you need a script for Retin A but go very slow on it. You apply just a drop to your face every other night in the beginning. I used to use Retinal 0.1 by Avene but I switched last Jan to Retin A which is stronger and prevents aging and wrinkles. I had skin cancer on my face. Retin A is supposed to reverse any sun damage but it takes two years. Everyone can my results in my picture which was taken a couple of months ago. I hope this helps.

 

 

 

Francesca:)

 

 

Emm Fran, did you put that picture of the fur baby up for a joke or should we avoid the stuff you recommended or what man??  I already look freaking wruff!!  :D

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ke...]]

I can relate to everyone here...

 

I'm a male, just turned 30 and used to look 25 maybe 26, was into body building and had a great physique. I used to pride myself on looking good and feeling good about myself. I suppose I was a bit narcissistic when it comes to looks and this is payback. 

 

I've never experienced anything like this and I've come off of oxycontin when I was younger and was doing drugs.

 

I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and truly believe I'm hideous now. I'm out on disability due to my withdrawal and can't even go to a place I once loved and felt alive - the gym. There are too many mirrors and I feel like and look like I'm 40 and a meth addict.

 

The dark circles, the sunken eyes, the dried out skin, that sad droopy look.

 

Eghh, I don't see how a face can actually go backwards and return to normal state. It's just not physically possible. Sometimes it drives me to think about suicide and I know that isn't the answer but if there is a hell, this is sure it.

:'( :'(

[[je...]]

Keep in moving,

I can so relate to how you feel. I was a little stuck up before all of this, I use to work in some of the biggest night clubs in my city and thought I was hot stuff. I'm disgusted by how I look now and hate seeing pictures of myself. When I pass by a mirror I physically get sick. I hate how I look.

[[Lo...]]

i feel you guys.  our bodies are so worn out and it does get better. i notice i can look in the mirror some. lol  some days my dark circles are gone some. the more nutrition i put in my body the better. lets hang in there you guys.. i can't wait for this shit to be over with so i can move the fuck on eh. me love you guys. meh.  :

[[Ke...]]

Keep in moving,

I can so relate to how you feel. I was a little stuck up before all of this, I use to work in some of the biggest night clubs in my city and thought I was hot stuff. I'm disgusted by how I look now and hate seeing pictures of myself. When I pass by a mirror I physically get sick. I hate how I look.

 

Thank you for commenting. I'm so glad someone else can relate... I can't look in mirrors at all, I used to like what I see but now I do get sick to my stomach, I get head pressure and begin to slump over and breath heavily...

 

Thank you.

[[Sm...]]

I'm so glad I found this thread. I've been clean for around 20 days now and feeling at about 100% for about a month and a half mentally, but physically? I used to get hit on all the time. Never had a problem getting a date and now I can't even get a second look, but I don't even care. I've always taken pride in my appearance but now I barely wear makeup. I wear baggy clothes bc I lost almost 50 pounds during acute, so none of my clothes fit my 5'4 90lb frame. I want to look nice, but at this point feel like such a phoney putting on makeup or dressing up bc of the hell I've been through.  I just feel like it doesn't matter anymore now that I'm feeling better.

[[Ne...]]

Yeah...I look horrible, I try not to look at myself in the mirror these days. I went from surfing, running and working out regularly and feeling confident, to doing nothing and feeling weak and pathetic.

I've compared pictures of me now to before benzo withdrawal, its unbelievable. My face is just skin and bone, it doesn't even feel like my face.

Large dark circles under eyes and sagging skin at my cheeks and neck, face just looks flat.

I don't look like the same person, its very depressing to say the least.

 

I also had my two top wisdom teeth out right before all of this and am convinced this has something to do with it as well. It looks like structural changes, not just stress and weight loss. My face was symmetrical, or at least appeared to be in photos, now its very asymmetrical and just looks off in photos.

My jaw line is also gone, just an oval shape now with no definition. Wisdom teeth extraction can change your face appearance from bone loss and subsequent shifting of facial muscle, depends on the person. God I hope im wrong, this is the last thing I need right now!

I have zero confidence, I tend to avoid eye contact and look down everywhere I go now. I'm sure my perception of everything is way off too, I don't know what to believe anymore, cant even trust my own thoughts.

I think as my nervous system balances out, I wont really care what look like and will be happy to just feel like me again.

[[Su...]]

I feel like a slob. I haven't dyed the gray out of my hair, often wear the same clothes and put on very minimal makeup. When I go out I do better but not like before...

[[no...]]

Just when you think its really bad enough  the effects of Benzos on your physical appearance as well as the other 1000 things, my eyebrows are now turning white and few days ago they were all black!!. This isn't new eyebrow hair growth coming thorough white, I haven't been able to tolerate doing anything to them as its too painful for ages. The hairs that are there have turned white practically over night, and ther's also a crop of short white hairs appeared all over my face as well!! 

 

The freaking Cortisol is the problem as our bodies are rampant with it and it effects collagen and ages you like mad as well as causing massive anxiety, toxic sleep and a big list of other evil stuff.   I read on a newer post that the person came back after healing to try and help is and answer question and they got'' ''I look 10 year's younger!! '' on their signature, which is good to see. 

 

But its still a freaking piss off when your looking 20 year's older, feeling a hundred year's older, and finding  MORE crap happening to add even more year's to you? My hairs already gone from its natural colour to freaking grey in less than a year, now its turning white as well as big hair loss and terrible texture and breaking off?? :tickedoff:

 

Nova xxxxx  :smitten:

[[MT...]]

Nova, it is absolutely crazy how wd changes us. I've had my first white hairs pop out these past few months and they're coming in fast. And the circles under the eyes...thank goodness for make-up. I can look sortof normal when I fix myself up but in the mornings I look like Dawn of the Living Dead

[[no...]]

Nova, it is absolutely crazy how wd changes us. I've had my first white hairs pop out these past few months and they're coming in fast. And the circles under the eyes...thank goodness for make-up. I can look sortof normal when I fix myself up but in the mornings I look like Dawn of the Living Dead

   

 

I look like I've been dug up by Egyptian archeologist!!  :D

 

Nova xxx   :smitten:

[[xa...]]

Experiencing the same as you all, I sympathize with you in your grief. I've leaved all those worries with a radical decision : first beeing off benzodiazepines with a successful taper, waiting 2 years and having cosmetic surgery (though reverse isn't actually possible) if there is no drastic improvements.

 

My best friends only don't hide the truth telling me "you look like if you come back from war and like a meth user but keep calm until a few months after the taper and we'll see"

[[Se...]]

The other day I bemoaned my appearance in the mirror yet again, to my family.  They told me I was nuts and that I look fine.  So, I took a few photos of myself and looked at them.  I still saw an ol' hag, with sagging jaw, wrinkles up to yin-yang, dull eyes, yellowed teeth and straggly hair!

 

I've come off SSRIs in past and had many symptoms, but they never messed with my entire appearance in the manner a benzo has.  Unreal.

[[xa...]]

The other day I bemoaned my appearance in the mirror yet again, to my family.  They told me I was nuts and that I look fine.  So, I took a few photos of myself and looked at them.  I still saw an ol' hag, with sagging jaw, wrinkles up to yin-yang, dull eyes, yellowed teeth and straggly hair!

 

I've come off SSRIs in past and had many symptoms, but they never messed with my entire appearance in the manner a benzo has.  Unreal.

 

 

My hypothesis is that the healing process could only begin after being free from every drugs maybe

[[Mi...]]

I, too, always looked younger than my age. I am 49 but friends and family said I looked 35. These days I look 55 with so much gray and dry skin and sad, dead eyes.

[[lo...]]

I am 60 but have always looked younger than my age.

 

No hair cut or colour for 18 months.  Too ill.  What a sight!!

 

Saved loads of money so could have a face lift when better.  Only joking!! 

 

Put on weight but not too bad.

 

Dark bags under my eyes.

 

Lost two fillings, one gap visible.

 

Live alone so I am rarely seen by other human beings.  ;D

 

Friends visit when I am up to it, about once a month.

 

So looking forward to a hair cut.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

[[Al...]]

It's so important to try and get your hair cut and hair colored while in recovery. I just had my hair colored and a hair cut last week and I did not have a hair cut since the middle of Jan. My hair was shedding and breaking off for 5 weeks so what was the point. Once my hair stopped shedding/breaking off I made a hair appt. The first thing my hair dresser said to me was "I was thinking of you and why I haven't see you in a while. I thought you left me for another hair dresser"..haha

 

I washed and blew my hair today and my hair texture feels like my old hair texture and not like hay. With all the changes that everyone goes through please keep in mind they are all temporary. The brain will get it right in time and everyone heals:)

 

[[lo...]]

lovely to hear that, AF.  ;D

[[MT...]]

I think some of this is our minds playing tricks with us. Like several of you I'm used to looking younger than my 52 years-more like late 30s so it feels horrifying to look in the mirror and see my mother But when I was bemoaning my old-lady neck to my husband and son this weekend they told me they don't see what I see and told me my perception is warped. Benzo wd warps so many things that I bet none of us look like the horror show we feel like...except maybe in the mornings

[[no...]]

I think some of this is our minds playing tricks with us. Like several of you I'm used to looking younger than my 52 years-more like late 30s so it feels horrifying to look in the mirror and see my mother But when I was bemoaning my old-lady neck to my husband and son this weekend they told me they don't see what I see and told me my perception is warped. Benzo wd warps so many things that I bet none of us look like the horror show we feel like...except maybe in the mornings

 

unfortunately  in my case its definitely big changes going on as my picture from 5 months ago look like another person all together, I cant wash, brush or comb my hair as its far too painful and laying down on my hair is a challenge as well. I used to do hair dressing and always looked after my own hair, but as the sxs got worse I went to a hairdresser, I can't get out to see one now and the last time I had it colored it was hell!! 

 

The hair dye I had no problems with before burned like crap and was coming out of my hair with every wash, so besides the pain and stress my hair now can't hold the colour at all. And my hair just being on my head is painful like its all stripped nerves and I have this all over my body and its getting worse. 

 

I can't put and cream or anything on now as that ramps up the pain and burning redness even my skin feels too much for my body. I have deep ridges on all my nails which is a sign of bad trauma, and where my muscles are gone slack as I cant exercise properly.  I can't bear the skin touching any clothing or skin. I have painful lumps all over my body and in my mouth that come and go in different places inside and outside my body paniful pus filled spots, other rashes, and trying to shower or wash is agony and traumatic.  :D

 

My skin peeling off like fatty wax in some place and like dry crystallized bits in others. Stevie Nicks said that the klonopin turned her hair grey, put loads of weight on her and her skin was all mottled so we can't ALL put it down to benzo delusional, although I know it can and does happen. But what's happening to me is obvious to other people  A friend I seen a while ago looked at me and said''You look old now for some one that looked year's younger''. 

 

And I had perfect teeth and I now have damaged stained teeth where the benzos cause tooth breakages and ended up having dental surgery done at the dental hospital because their splitting at the roots inside the gums and its murder to try remove them  And what looks like big pockets of cellulite all over the place as well

 

Even my vagina dropped for two year's at one point but thats seems to be okay now ans I had a proplapsed anus which is okay now, but I have other benzo related problems down there and with my bowels and GI and Urinary tract. But I'm not going near any Doctors as its pointless , they did or couldn't do anything,and other things have rectified their self but by bit in the order the body deems fit to heal it.

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[xa...]]

I think some of this is our minds playing tricks with us. Like several of you I'm used to looking younger than my 52 years-more like late 30s so it feels horrifying to look in the mirror and see my mother But when I was bemoaning my old-lady neck to my husband and son this weekend they told me they don't see what I see and told me my perception is warped. Benzo wd warps so many things that I bet none of us look like the horror show we feel like...except maybe in the mornings

 

unfortunately  in my case its definitely big changes going on as my picture from 5 months ago look like another person all together, I cant wash, brush or comb my hair as its far too painful and laying down on my hair is a challenge as well. I used to do hair dressing and always looked after my own hair, but as the sxs got worse I went to a hairdresser, I can't get out to see one now and the last time I had it colored it was hell!! 

 

The hair dye I had no problems with before burned like crap and was coming out of my hair with every wash, so besides the pain and stress my hair now can't hold the colour at all. And my hair just being on my head is painful like its all stripped nerves and I have this all over my body and its getting worse. 

 

I can't put and cream or anything on now as that ramps up the pain and burning redness even my skin feels too much for my body. I have deep ridges on all my nails which is a sign of bad trauma, and where my muscles are gone slack as I cant exercise properly.  I can't bear the skin touching any clothing or skin. I have painful lumps all over my body and in my mouth that come and go in different places inside and outside my body paniful pus filled spots, other rashes, and trying to shower or wash is agony and traumatic.  :D

 

My skin peeling off like fatty wax in some place and like dry crystallized bits in others. Stevie Nicks said that the klonopin turned her hair grey, put loads of weight on her and her skin was all mottled so we can't ALL put it down to benzo delusional, although I know it can and does happen. But what's happening to me is obvious to other people  A friend I seen a while ago looked at me and said''You look old now for some one that looked year's younger''. 

 

And I had perfect teeth and I now have damaged stained teeth where the benzos cause tooth breakages and ended up having dental surgery done at the dental hospital because their splitting at the roots inside the gums and its murder to try remove them  And what looks like big pockets of cellulite all over the place as well

 

Even my vagina dropped for two year's at one point but thats seems to be okay now ans I had a proplapsed anus which is okay now, but I have other benzo related problems down there and with my bowels and GI and Urinary tract. But I'm not going near any Doctors as its pointless , they did or couldn't do anything,and other things have rectified their self but by bit in the order the body deems fit to heal it.

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

You are still tapering and not drug free. A good reason to hold on.

[[no...]]

I think some of this is our minds playing tricks with us. Like several of you I'm used to looking younger than my 52 years-more like late 30s so it feels horrifying to look in the mirror and see my mother But when I was bemoaning my old-lady neck to my husband and son this weekend they told me they don't see what I see and told me my perception is warped. Benzo wd warps so many things that I bet none of us look like the horror show we feel like...except maybe in the mornings

 

unfortunately  in my case its definitely big changes going on as my picture from 5 months ago look like another person all together, I cant wash, brush or comb my hair as its far too painful and laying down on my hair is a challenge as well. I used to do hair dressing and always looked after my own hair, but as the sxs got worse I went to a hairdresser, I can't get out to see one now and the last time I had it colored it was hell!! 

 

The hair dye I had no problems with before burned like crap and was coming out of my hair with every wash, so besides the pain and stress my hair now can't hold the colour at all. And my hair just being on my head is painful like its all stripped nerves and I have this all over my body and its getting worse. 

 

I can't put and cream or anything on now as that ramps up the pain and burning redness even my skin feels too much for my body. I have deep ridges on all my nails which is a sign of bad trauma, and where my muscles are gone slack as I cant exercise properly.  I can't bear the skin touching any clothing or skin. I have painful lumps all over my body and in my mouth that come and go in different places inside and outside my body paniful pus filled spots, other rashes, and trying to shower or wash is agony and traumatic.  :D

 

My skin peeling off like fatty wax in some place and like dry crystallized bits in others. Stevie Nicks said that the klonopin turned her hair grey, put loads of weight on her and her skin was all mottled so we can't ALL put it down to benzo delusional, although I know it can and does happen. But what's happening to me is obvious to other people  A friend I seen a while ago looked at me and said''You look old now for some one that looked year's younger''. 

 

And I had perfect teeth and I now have damaged stained teeth where the benzos cause tooth breakages and ended up having dental surgery done at the dental hospital because their splitting at the roots inside the gums and its murder to try remove them  And what looks like big pockets of cellulite all over the place as well

 

Even my vagina dropped for two year's at one point but thats seems to be okay now ans I had a proplapsed anus which is okay now, but I have other benzo related problems down there and with my bowels and GI and Urinary tract. But I'm not going near any Doctors as its pointless , they did or couldn't do anything,and other things have rectified their self but by bit in the order the body deems fit to heal it.

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

You are still tapering and not drug free. A good reason to hold on.

 

 

 

 

Hi Xavier  In fact I have a 100 or more reasons to hold on,  but I  can't  post them all on this thread as their ''off topic '' on here  But on topic, I have now sent for a wig that looks very much like my own hair, well the picture does anyway  so for now its 'Hair by Amazon.com''  I hope I'm able to wear it as my own hair hurts, but being on benzos for 30+year's CT'd by doctors, kindled by Drs. And in tolerance withdrawal for over 8 year's now in my 2nd year of tapering. And coming off CT or tapering lots of poly drugs its no wonder me and my body are  in trauma  :D   But I'm still battling on 

 

Nova xxx  :smitten: