12-18 month support

[[je...]]

Coop-- I'm so happy for you! Enjoy the calm 

[[Co...]]

Thanks Jenny...how are you doing ?...

[[je...]]

I'm okay.... Anxiety is still hanging around-- only a tad better. I just keep reminding myself how I've had so many sx get really intense only to completely drop off. Praying the same will be true with this anxiety. So happy to hear you got a break coop, jenny

[[Co...]]

Are most of your sx better now excepting the anxiety...which is no small thing...

[[je...]]

Yes, they are all soooo much better-- super mild.. Its just this annoying anxiety. How about you?

[[Co...]]

Jenny...I am so glad to hear that the others have dropped off...I still have sleep issues and some agoraphobia and d/r with head pressure but I think they are lessening but totally revved by anxiety....Health fears are my biggest issue.  But today in my sunbreak I didn't have health fear. 

    I think we are getting there.. coop

[[je...]]

I think so too Coop 

[[Gr...]]

Okay ... its official ... today is one all around lousy day ... can't even get a nap in without it going toxic ...

 

Isn't this just jolly ... a big fat flair up on the last day of month 18 ... it's enough to piss off a saint ... 

 

Congrats on 19![move]Happy Month 19![/move]

[[be...]]

Morning all

 

All I did yesterday was nap..and I don't ever nap. I had two naps and still went to bed and slept like a baby for seven hours.

I think my body just got so worn down from this sickness I have had.

 

The fake asthma is better....happy dance.

 

This has been one crazy month for me all around.

 

Take care all!!!!

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... not much to say .... woke up with a jolt and found myself in benzo hell ... no panic ... and everything else dialed up to over a 10 ...

 

Has been over a month since I have been this sick ... so that's a good sign ... could not even get out for a walk ... got out the door and had to turn around ... so just hanging on and waiting it out ... nothing else to do ...

 

Nice way to start month 19 ... 

[[Co...]]

You have my heart today Nova...I am thinking of you and hoping this burns itself out throughout the day.  I will be on throughout the day if you want to vent ...19 months is heroic...love to you dear friend....coop

[[Sk...]]

Okay ... its official ... today is one all around lousy day ... can't even get a nap in without it going toxic ...

 

Isn't this just jolly ... a big fat flair up on the last day of month 18 ... it's enough to piss off a saint ... 

 

Congrats on 19![move]Happy Month 19![/move]

 

Nova, so glad for you. Month 19 is huge, congrats ! I am doing happy dance for you ! You will go ahead in month 19 and let us know how it is with your wit and clarity. And then, we will talk about it while you eat your breakfast and I eat my  lunch !

 

:happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday: :happybday:

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... thanks for being around ... as with so many of us, I am just tired of sitting around with this stuff ... and there is nothing else to do ... no energy, nausea, and lots of spams and zaps ...

 

And it is cold and damp and windy outside ... so I am feeling I am back in benzo prison ...

 

Just putting in the hours ... 

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... not feeling like a celebration today, sorry ... hope you are doing well ...

[[Sk...]]

Morning all

 

All I did yesterday was nap..and I don't ever nap. I had two naps and still went to bed and slept like a baby for seven hours.

I think my body just got so worn down from this sickness I have had.

 

The fake asthma is better....happy dance.

 

This has been one crazy month for me all around.

 

Take care all!!!!

 

Bealah, sorry to hear that. I do think it's not your sickness though, I am going through the same thing and I haven't had a thing. Naps are so not my scene and here I am taking them religiously !

[[Sk...]]

Hi Sky ... not feeling like a celebration today, sorry ... hope you are doing well ...

 

Sorry to hear you are doing so badly.

 

I am feeling bad myself and so tired. I took two naps and I am still tired. And I have to work later.

[[No...]]

Sky ... we just carry on as best we can ... hope you day gets better ...

[[Sk...]]

Sky ... we just carry on as best we can ... hope you day gets better ...

 

You're right, of course, what choice do we have ? But there is still this small dreg of my former self that obsesses about doing more. I am doing more, if ony  I  could just understand that.

[[No...]]

Sky ... for me, there is nothing to "do" ... all I try to do is keep balanced and calm and try to keep my head in the game ... and yes, that doubt is there, what else should I be doing? ...

[[Co...]]

Nova, I know that feeling of, " waiting to heal is not really living".  The only thing that helps me with that is the counter thought of, "Today, my job is to heal...that is my entire job today.. to do whatever my requires of me to heal"..

......Even though it feels like all we are doing is passing time...like all the activity below still waters , we are healing.

.....You are a zem master Nova, but even zen masters get sick of this...  Sending you thoughts of sunbreaks... coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... "today, my job is to heal" ... well, said ...

 

Don't know about the "master" part ... 

 

To "accept" what I have today is something I could do everyday ... and I mostly do ... and sometimes, as we all know, it is hard to maintain that focus ...

 

For some of us, when we see a dragon, we get all excited and off we go to try and wrestle with it ... and the outcome is pre-ordained ... the dragon gets pissed off and we get nibbled on ...

 

Always "safer" to admire dragons from a distance ... they are cute, but can be ornery ...

[[Co...]]

If only our dragons were ' Puff'....Acceptance is mostly impossible for me to maintain in an anxiety attack...I just go over the cliff in an eye blink. Just barely floating a half inch above it is my best on any given ddy. It is exhausting as for me, it requires re-centering about every 10 seconds. At some point it is just merely frustrating ( understatement of the centuey)...and I just have to cry.  Then I am back to re- centering....This is the hardest job I have ever had and the benefit package stinks..  We will get through this. My d/r is back today with its twin , anxiety.. but at a manageable level. The still clear wonderful calm of yesterday afternoon is gone but I am mostly functional. I slept like normal last night so I am taking that bribe and hoping benzo pays off ....well we all know what a trick that always turns out to be......Which cave do the friendly dragons live in anyway?  coop

[[Sk...]]

Coop ... "today, my job is to heal" ... well, said ...

 

Don't know about the "master" part ... 

 

To "accept" what I have today is something I could do everyday ... and I mostly do ... and sometimes, as we all know, it is hard to maintain that focus ...

 

For some of us, when we see a dragon, we get all excited and off we go to try and wrestle with it ... and the outcome is pre-ordained ... the dragon gets pissed off and we get nibbled on ...

 

Always "safer" to admire dragons from a distance ... they are cute, but can be ornery ...

 

I have a soft spot for dragons which might explain a thing or two about my Wd !

 

I wanted to add one thing about the reactions of people around us to our problems. From what I read in the FB page of the TBI tribe, their complaints are not only similar to ours, symptom wise, but they also complain about the incapacity of people to "get" what is happening. Doctors as well.

 

Now, it seems to me that if you have had a car accident and have hit your head, people should understand that there is some damage where the brain is and some healing is required.

 

But they don't, they accuse these people of not snapping out of it, of pretending they are sick, the works.

 

It's really an eye opener. It's not just about benzo wd, it's about anything connected to the brain, seems to me.

 

This does not make matters better for us today, but it helps me to have a bigger  picture of a wider incapacity of society at large to understand anything connected to the ever elusive brain.

 

 

Coop, I am having a hard time breathing properly, was it you that spoke about breathing techniques ? Do you have any suggestions ?

[[Co...]]

Hi Sky...yes the 4-7-8 breathing promoted by Dr. Andrew Wiele....it's easy and it helps relax the chest and lungs and overcomes 'ragged' or anxiety breathing

.    Breathe in through your nose

.......hold to the count of 4

..    breathe out through your mouth to the count of 8

...do this for several rounds ...if you need a cleansing breath somewhere along the sets just take a gentle deep breath and let it out and then continue...

. This helps me through some tough times.  However if I don't catch a panic in time I can't do it in panic. 

....It seems as though a few of us

have developed that 'air hunger'  the fact that I am not the only one getting this so late out helps me know that it is w/d

.    Thanks for the comments about TBI ...invisible illness is wide open to judgement. Before my RA required a walker or wheelchair my family just could not understand.  They can't understand because they don't live it.  I get that, but to be judgemental and not understanding I don't get. My daughter and my friends who have k own me forever are absolutely caring and supportive and I do all that I can not to burn them out.  That's why I am such a whiner here. I think one thing that throws people off ( like it does to us), is that on some days we seem like our old selves.  On other days we are the 'sick' person.  Like us they don't understand non-linear healing.  I provided scientific info on RA to my family members...they still didn't understand ...Interestingly, I feel more shame about sharing w/d info with them.. So I think even I myself have some self judgement about w/d...

.....I know when I am done with this I will stay on the boards to help.  Nobody can understand this if they haven't gone through it

  Sky...hoping your day has sunbreaks. We are almost at month 18. .I can't believe I am still with it...love to you Sky.  .coop

[[Co...]]

Sorry Sky...I screwed up that breathing instruction...disregard the '7'...that belongs to a different breathing state

....the easiest one is...

...breathe in through your nose...just a normal breath

...hold for 4 counts

...exhale gently and slowly through your mouth to the count of 8. 

..I use this one mostly because it's the easiest. The other one takes more practice....sorry about that Sky.