Spunky has the last word!!!

[Guest [ma...]]

Hi Spunky, 

 

So very happy to hear of your success and complete healing. Your post gives hope to a lot of people.

 

Wishing you lots of wonderful things in the days, months, and years to come. mandala 

[[Sp...]]

No blog just many posts to this forum. My youtube video is called Benzo healing 11 months later what you have been waiting for. I had an earlier video on youtube also but it cost me a job and I realized that my second video was a better choice to continue to show for hope for others and if this one has people judging me then so be it. It hurts my heart a little to see some names I recognize here still but it also makes me smile for the love you send. Thank-you.

[[Aq...]]

Very inspirational. Thank you for posting and congrats!

[[Pa...]]

Spunky, I read this to my wife and she wanted to say something, "Thank you so much for your story.  I am 4 years and 4 months out and really out and fighting for strength to go on.  Your symptoms match mine I have had non stop chapped lips and cant clear it up.  I have other little itchy spots that I went so far to have biopsied and imagine all the things I have are also benzo related. "

 

Thank you for coming back and letting us know.

 

Pardner

[[Sp...]]

Pardner-I was using cuticle scissors to cut peeling skin off my lips for over a year. Badger balm unscented lip balm has worked for me. No reactions to it and my lips are back to normal. I also forgot to mention Acure Argon oil - it is the only thing that helped my facial skin get back to normal and has caused no negative reactions. You can order on line or get at whole foods. It has keep my skin looking ok through this brutal MN winter. Tell your wife that it will all go away just hang in there. I am so sorry someone you love is going through this. Cindy

[[Ai...]]

Thank you, Cindy, for sharing your joy and good health!! You are an inspiration to me giving me more hope.

[[Ca...]]

Hey Cindy

 

I hope that I am not one of those that your heart is hurting for

Still here but hey, I am improving too.

I am so glad for you.

 

All of the responses to this post shows just how important it is to others to write a success story .

I will write one one day.

Love Carol

[[Sp...]]

Carol - I hope you write yours soon. I would love to be reading some success stories from the amazingly supportive people that I remember from a year ago. I hope you are taking advantage of all of your improvements. I feel like we have been through such a life changing event together and we made it!! If anyone needs to really feel hope go back to some of my posts from 15+ month ago. It truly is a miracle, albiet a slow to appear one. I can wait to be able to reply to yours Carol. Love to you, Cindy

[[dr...]]

Spunky,

 

Your success story almost brought a grown man to tears. And I've shed many tears during withdrawal and more than in my whole life. You give a short term user like myself hope that I will turn a corner soon. I honestly have to ask about your facial features if you don't mind me asking. I noticed in your second video your cheeks looked healthier and fuller compared to your first video. Were you fixated how how you looked during withdrawal? And when did you notice it getting better? I'm still lacking that fullness in my cheeks that I use to have. I know it's lacking the collagen I once had.

[[Sp...]]

It was the weight loss I experienced that you saw in the 1st video. I was down to 91 lbs. I was 10 lbs heavier in the second video and now I am back to 105 which is where my body stays normally. My face changed  during this just as my legs and arms did. I lost muscle mass and cheeks are muscle. It came back in the last year. My best advice regarding this is just don't look in the mirror often. I threw out my scale when my weight dipped because I knew I would keep obsessing about it otherwise and that helped my mind let go of it. Keep pics of yourself now so months from now you can compare them and know how much better you look. I guess I just knew how much better I felt and I am sure you will too. The bottom line at this point is that I feel so good. I honestly care less about what I "look" like because I am no longer in pain. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please come back when you make it through an let me know how great you are doing. You are in my thoughts. Cindy

[[Wo...]]

Spunky,

 

Your success story almost brought a grown man to tears. And I've shed many tears during withdrawal and more than in my whole life. You give a short term user like myself hope that I will turn a corner soon. I honestly have to ask about your facial features if you don't mind me asking. I noticed in your second video your cheeks looked healthier and fuller compared to your first video. Were you fixated how how you looked during withdrawal? And when did you notice it getting better? I'm still lacking that fullness in my cheeks that I use to have. I know it's lacking the collagen I once had.

 

Hey drugfree2k

 

Your story mirror's mine, see my signature, 2 weeks of Lorazepam also sent me to hell but I went back on none the wiser and then tapered of over 4 months, its unbelievable what this drug has done to us..

 

I see your nearing the 1 year off, well done, believe me that is a great achievement in itself, even though if your like me, most days it does not feel like it, Spunky success story like others who are healed is all I dream about writing every day.

 

I'm still trying to find my way back to me but Spunky story gives me hope, when hope is all we got.

 

Do you have DP DR ? they have been my longest and most intense symptoms along with disassociation, disconnection, confusion, no perception of time or space, basically my life is the mirror of the film 'Ground Hog Day'

 

Hope you heal soon bud.

 

Best Wishes

 

Woofs

 

[[Py...]]

CONGRATS!!

[[ca...]]

Thank you for saying that about mirrors…

I look like crap and I feel like crap too.

I don't recognize myself right now and I am hoping that with further healing I will be able to diet, lose weight and my face will start looking more like me….

In stead of this person that I see in the mirror now.

It is very disturbing that I really hate how i look now.

I sure hope this, along with all the other symptoms, at some point start to go away.

Thanks for coming back and sharing your happy news Spunky.

I really hope that one day I can come back and share a success story too…

At this point, I just keep suffering and losing more of who I was everyday.

 

Much love and healing,

Causing

[[Fr...]]

Thank you for posting your story and congratulations. I am so very happy for you.

 

Your story brings me hope that one day I too will feel happy and "normal" again. So many parts of your story resonated especially the missing out on much activities in life. Sometimes I can't tell if I have depression from wd or if I'm grieving for the life I've lost out on, all the moments of doing fun things with my husband, who has suffered along with me. Our partners do suffer too and that upsets me and makes me feel awful for causing him pain, and the worry I've caused my other family members including my two sons and my mom. Even my friend have been affected by the loss of  my not being able to see them as often.

 

Again, congratulations - be well and smile up at the sky each day. When it rains know that we are all crying tears of joy for you. 

[[Sp...]]

causing pain - I can still say that at 17 months things were still happening that made me question total healing. Do not lose hope. You will get yourself back and then some. I can't remember if I ever told the story of how much I struggled with vanity before all of this. I use to pray that  I would be able to be free of the hold it had on me and the life choices I made because of it. Well God really had to hit me with something big to finally get me to realize that it's how you feel and who you are inside that matter. It sounds so cliche but being stripped of my false armor and having to really make peace with who I am on the inside has freed me to become a much more compassionate human being to myself and others. FreeofV - there is so much grief in all of this and yet so much growth. I think "normal" is so misused during this process. You will become a different person - a better version of who you truly are. Thank-you for you kind words.

[[am...]]

Congrats on your healing Cindy ! Good for you !

[[dr...]]

Spunky,

 

I couldn't agree with you more. This whole experience is making a better and wiser person out of me. I'm curious as to how much mg of Klonopin were you using during those 3 weeks? I was using Lorazepam for about 3 weeks as well and pretty much C/T.

[[Sp...]]

I honestly can't remember anymore but I do remember that it was 3x a day. I remember that it was the same amount a normal size person would take and I am not a normal size. I know when I know after taking what I was prescribed for a few days I adjusted it down. I am so glad this is such a hard ting to recall - it feels like a lifetime ago.

[[pa...]]

Dearest Spunky,

 

My hummingbird friend, how did I miss this new thread of yours.  Yes, a farewell comes when it is right, and you are there, YOU HEALED.  Hooray... yes it truly does happen.  Thank you for your YouTube prior and after, like night and day... Someone going through the illness, so very ill, then, that bird of wonder with true healing and health returning, not just returning, but reborn.  Be very proud of yourself my friend... you prevailed and won, like everyone does.  Your testament to this all is a must, and Thank You for giving that!

 

I wish you all the blessings in your life that you truly have and know.  Thank you dear friend for being part of my life.  I will never forget you.. most especially when I see those hummingbirds.. I'll smile and blow you a kiss.  Until we meet again on the next plane of life.

 

Love to you always, Pattylu :smitten:

[[ba...]]

Spunky,

 

At almost 15 months I'm still in the thick of it.  The rashes continue to spread and the hair loss is extreme.  For me, the mental stuff is just a side note. 

 

Thank you for coming back to encourage us.

 

[[Sp...]]

PAttylu- Once again smiles through tears...my heart soars every time I see your words for me. Thank-you so much for all that you have given me. I know we will meet and will know each other instantly. I am grateful for your love. I know when I see my first hummingbird after this long frigid winter I will be laughing through tears and hugging you in my heart.  Babyrex - it looks to me that you just got to freedom in Dec 2013. I'm not going to lie this will be one of the hardest things you ever do but you will be a changed and better human being when it is done. Keep hope in your heart it will all go away. The rashes and hair loss will stop. You are blessed that the mental stuff isn't front and center. You are in my thoughts, Cindy

[[Fr...]]

Cindy - I read your post again and again and it gives me great hope during my miserable hours.  God bless you.  Keep happy and doing what you're doing.  You're a wonderful person.

[[Sp...]]

I remember so vividly how much reading the hope filled success stories meant to me. I am so grateful to be part of that. The truth and raw emotion that people who have healed put into their stories seems to connect us all together some how. 

[[ba...]]

PAttylu- Once again smiles through tears...my heart soars every time I see your words for me. Thank-you so much for all that you have given me. I know we will meet and will know each other instantly. I am grateful for your love. I know when I see my first hummingbird after this long frigid winter I will be laughing through tears and hugging you in my heart.  Babyrex - it looks to me that you just got to freedom in Dec 2013. I'm not going to lie this will be one of the hardest things you ever do but you will be a changed and better human being when it is done. Keep hope in your heart it will all go away. The rashes and hair loss will stop. You are blessed that the mental stuff isn't front and center. You are in my thoughts, Cindy

 

Thank you Cindy...for your courage in making a video and your continued support here.  I am getting better, but at a snail's pace.  I inhale your words of encouragement; it means so much to me.  I will beat this beast, but as you know, it's sometimes impossible to see the horizon.  And I'm so happy your life is functional, joyous, and supportive.

 

Hugs!

 

[[Sp...]]

Babyrex - I can feel you making it through this in my heart. Your positive energy will keep you afloat. Don't give up! You are in my thoughts. Cindy