Help with starting liquid taper from Xanax and adding Valium

[[Ju...]]

What an experience!  I too, got some tripy feelings during withdrawal.  And I've read a few other posts where people said they felt like they were on an acid trip when they felt increased withdrawal sxs.  I don't believe your longer than usual hold had anything to do with what happened because in the scheme of things it really wasn't a long hold.  I believe it was just your lag time kicking in and you were awake to feel the wave of extreme anxiety.  I'm glad things settled back down and that you didn't updose.

 

I'm happy you found out about your cream.  It's amazing all of the medications we must be careful with during withdrawal.  Even a cream.     

 

I remember you saying you're a musician.  I saw these lyrics and they reminded me of the progression of my taper.  They're by Ray LaMontagne, from his song, Empty:

 

-Well I looked my demons in the eyes,

laid bare my chest, said "Do your best, destroy me.

You see, I've been to hell and back so many times,

I must admit you kind of bore me."-

 

My demons started out being my symptoms.  I thought they were awful.  But as they continued to repeat themselves I began to get accustomed to them.  It was like, here we go again.  In the end, they didn't bother me as much and the symptoms actually became boring.  When they became boring, they no longer had power over me.  I hope this happens for you too, JACD.

 

Once again, I'm very proud of you for not updosing during your faux-trip! 

 

[[...]]

Hey Juliea!!

 

I'm so glad your back! And thank you for the Ray lyrics! That's great. Yep, that's true for what were going through. That song reminds me of a scene in the movie Jacob's Ladder. Tim Robbins is going through bad drug trips and Danny Aiello is his friend and he says something like "these fears your going through are Demons now, but soon they will become your Friends or Angels, they lead you though hell" ( or something like that!)

 

Anyway, it's like the song. Thank you for that , that was very sweet.

 

Yes, I am a musician and I'm trying to Mix my new Disc , and at first when I started the Taper and all, I couldn't bear to Mix. Sounds actually hurt! Even at low volumes. I couldn't focus. It was bad. I haven't touched the studio in a month. But recently, I've been feeling better and starting to Mix again.Still can't do it everyday ( as it's a very intense and technical process even in good times) but, when I can I'm back at work. And it's good.

 

Well, now I'm on day 6 of cut three! Feel good , so far! Don't want to jinx it! Last night I had some sxs, but not nearly as bad as my "acid trip" night! I believe your right, that my sxs we're just the result of the cut catching up with me. The bad trip was on day 4, and a little less on day 5, today being day 6 we'll see. Also, I looked back on it and the cut I made on my "acid trip" was way bigger then the previous 3 cuts! Oops! Oh, well! When I pick up my new .25 pills , it will be easier to get more exact cuts I hope.

 

So, you don't think me holding for 15 days ( instead of 10) had anything to do with it? I hope your right. One last thing about the "acid" trip, thing, It was all in my head, the strawberry were not laced with L.S.D, of course. But what DID happen was , like you said, I was going thought the WD's from my latest cut. But I was making it worse by having this mistaken and totally false 'belief" that I was also given poisoned Strawberries! I think that crazy belief ( that at that moment, I could not shake) is what made me have sxs that were WAY more intense then they needed to be. Something for us all to think about.

 

Don't make things worse then they need to be!! Don't imagine ( or even fixate on real problems) when your going through your Taper.

 

Or like I like to say "One nightmare at a time, please"

 

Thanks again Juliea! I've missed you!!

[[...]]

Hi Juliea,

 

How are you? Just an update, I haven't posted in a while. Well, I just started my 4th cut today. I am now , finally beginning,.5mg a day. Took , 5 weeks to get here, my first cut was on Feb 12 2014, but here we are.

 

I probably could have shaved 6 or 7 days off of that total had it had not been for my skin rash/Steroid cream drama, that cost me at least 5 days..and it's now day 13 into my 3rd cut ( took 13 days to start cut 4) because, I've been getting insomnia.

 

Well, maybe not really insomnia, I just end up pushing my time I finally go to sleep farther and farther back! Then I sleep, but then it's time to wake up because, my first dose is due. Example, I'll finally take my last late dose (around 12am, it WAS 11pm, this time change has messed me up too) and after that last dose , for the first time all day I finally feell "good". And I won't dose again for 14 hours or so, and I finally have some 'peace"..and want to enjoy it , if I can..So, I check out the internet, watch a good PBS documentary, eat a bit, maybe sip a small cup of Red wine..You know , just have a life, for a few hours!! And it's generally nice..Unfortunately, I also have to eventually SLEEP during my 12-14 hours of 'peace".

 

Since the past week or so, I don't want to 'let go" and have to start the daily battle and struggle of dosing 3 x a day, up and down, symptoms come, symptoms go, etc, etc..It's like , ugh, I just want a 'time out" from the battle! Anyway, that's why I didn't start , todays cut (cut 4) sooner, like after 10 days, now it's 13. I was only getting 5 hours of sleep..I've been sort of stable for almost 5 days , I just couldn't really sleep a good 7 8 hours and I'd be groggy all day. Not from the WD's for once, but from not getting that 7 8 hours. And then a pattern set in so, even if I did try and get to bed sooner, my body still couldn't sleep until , like 7 am! Then I'd get up by 2pm and it's time to dose!

 

I've also been felling a bit 'depressed' too..I know, I should be happy..My tapers going pretty good..I'm moving on etc.And I'm grateful for that.But then some times , lately I just want to cry. I'm sure it has something to do with not sleeping right, but a bit of depression, I do have.. I think , when I first started this whole Taper experience, I was just scared to death and pisssed off that this happened to me etc. I was in 'survival" mode.

 

Now, like you say, you get used to the WD's and even 'board' of them. Or at least, you start to know your patterns, with each cut. I feel like I'm sort of at the half way mark. Only NINE MORE cuts to go! Yeah!! Lucky me...

 

It just sort of makes me depressed. But when your in hell, keep going. And I know I am one of the 'lucky ones". I just get the blues lately, when I think, why am I in this situation, and life is passing me by at the moment, and I can't go out or travel or do anything except cut every 10 days or so. Yes I'm 'getting better" but, damn, this sucks.

 

And this all, for me at least, could have been TOTALY AVOIDED!

 

But, I never knew the dangers of this stuff.

 

I never knew.

[[Ju...]]

Yes, it sucks.  It surely does.  I felt very blue during my taper too.  This is natural.  The taper seemed like such a long hill to pull.  But you know, our tapers eventually do end.  I developed a singular mindset during my taper.  And that was to keep tapering until there was no more pill to taper.  Then I was finally free of the cutting and Xanax had no more control over my life.  That loss of control was quite debilitating for me.  I hated it.  But it's over now and it will be for you too, in the not so distant future.  Congratulations on getting to .50mg! 

[[ba...]]

hi miss julie i havnt talked in awhile i just wanted to say hi and i wanted to wish you well !

[[Ju...]]

Thank you babyangel. 

[[...]]

Hi Juliea,

 

Thanks for the post!!

 

Well, I may have spoken too soon...I may have to go back to my previous dose. Tell me what you think.

I just stopped taking my skin rash cream Wednesday, three days ago. It's not the steroid stuff but a OTC 1% Clotrimazole cream.

 

I'd been on it for 15 days. Turns out the Clotrimazole messes with the Liver enzyme that removes Xanax, and makes it act slower. So, I think I have more Xanax then I do. Clotrimazole helps to eliminate Xanax slower, then usual.

 

Anyway, I stopped the cream, and am ready to go back to my 'main" fight, the Benzo war..and my symptoms started roaring back. I stopped the OTC 1% Clotrimazole cream on Wednesday, and for the last 2 days my symptoms are back hard!And sort of different this time too. Now, we're talking days 12 and 13 into cut number 3, I should be stable by now!! And in fact, I was by day 9/10/11 etc..I was fine and ready to cut. So I did.

 

BUT, on day 12, I stopped the Clotrimazole cream ( after using it for 15 days, twice a day) and by day 13 and today BAM! Symptoms are back.

 

I feel it could be my body is getting used to the enzyme working to eliminate the xanax properly ( as it has done before, just not the last two weeks). And so, now it is 'back to normal" however, I'm feeling it as a 'cut" or reduction of dose, because the Xanax isn't hanging around in my system as long anymore.

 

For the past 2 days ( since I stopped the cream) I get inter dose WD's bad, I used to go 5 or 6 hours between doses, but since stopping the cream , I get hit hard in 3 hours!!

 

So, now I'm thinking, either go back on the cream to bring back the enzyme blocker and slow down the xanax again OR hold off on this cut until I settle down and get used to the Clotrimazole being OUT and GONE from my system and then make a cut.

 

Man, this is such a pain. I get sick TAKING the cream , then I get sick STOPPING the cream!! Give me a break!!

 

What do you think? I was going to go back to my latest dose .5625 and hold that maybe until monday or Tuesday. That would make 5 or 6 days since stopping the Clotrimazole. HOPEFULLY, i will settle down and the body will be ready to cut again. Because, this is the only thing I can think off. I was fine , it's been 13 days, i was ready to cut, but after stopping that cream, I felt it. I don't want to have to go through two cuts at the same time! Even though one is a actual cut and the other is not. It feels like two!

 

I don't know, it's the only thing I can think of ( it may also have had something to do with me getting the blues for the past few days,less perception of Xanax)...

 

Sucks. I want to cut!! but maybe I should wait until my ping pong ball of a CNS stops spinning and stays still for a day or two.

 

Any thoughts? I haven't taken my first dose just yet.

 

Thanks Juliea!

[[Ju...]]

I believe I would treat stopping the cream as a cut in and of itself, if the cream was slowing down the processing of my Xanax.  You've only been on .5 for 3-days correct?  If I thought I could handle it, I would hold.  If not, I'd dose correct back up one step and hold until stable again.  I would not want to restart the cream considering the havoc it created with my taper.  Sorry this happened JACD!

[[...]]

Hi Juliea

 

No, I've only made my cut to .5 yesterday! That's the thing. I started feeling weird for the 3 days before yesterday. I felt weird before I even cut. The only change, the only thing diffrent was that I stopped the cream 3 days ago. And each day since, I'd felt weird. But I wanted to cut because it had been 13 days already and I was stable by day 9-10. But then I stopped the cream and the sxs came back. And I cut anyway, only yesterday..and now, when I think about it and add it all up, I think that stopping the cream was , like you said , a 'cut" in itself.

 

The only other thing could be that I havent been sleeping as long as I used to ...but yesterday, I sleept well 6 1/2 hours or so but still felt bad WD's. That was 2 days since I stopped the cream, and I think it caught up to me.

 

It's the only thing I can think of thats 'different" in my Taper.

 

So, you think I should re instate and hold until I settle? If I wait until Monday, that would be day 6 of no cream..Maybe then I can cut..

 

Any more thoughts?

 

Thanks again!!

 

Man! What a nightmare this is!!

[[Ju...]]

Shoot, if I'd only cut yesterday, I'd not even consider going back to where I was yesterday as an updose.  My guess is that you're feeling the effects of stopping the cream and holding where you were yesterday may help you get through this period of time as your body is adjusting to not having Xanax slowed down from clearing out of your system.  I'd then revisit my status on Monday as you suggested. 

[[...]]

Yeah,Juliea, I think that may be the plan..

 

Yeah, it was only yesterday that I started cut "4"...I was ready, but the CNS wasn't. And I do think it was because the Cream slowed down the enzyme and when I stopped, the Xanax went out faster, not slower as it had done for the last two weeks.

 

Because, like I said, my Symptoms were 'weird", they weren't like my usual WD..and it had been day 10/11 etc into cut "3" and ,when I was still using the cream, I felt stable and ready to cut again. Then I stop the cream ( 3 days ago) and ever since then the WD's are back!! Even before the new cut yesterday..

 

So sucks AGAIN!! I guess I'll have to wait and go back to .5625 today. And hold until Monday..Then make that cut.

 

What a pain! All from a rash cream?!! Really?!!

 

Any more thoughts Juliea?

 

Thanks J

 

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Juliea,

 

How are you? Just wanted to post a update..well, I held until Monday March 24 and then did the cut.

 

So, I'm now day 6 on to .5mg total daily! Took me 5 1/2 weeks to get from .75 to .5 daily but, here we are. I found out that damn Steroid cream cost me 4 extra hold days going into cut 3, and then 6 extra hold days to start cut 4. PITA!

 

So, today I would have been posting I'm at .4375 daily by now, but the skin cream nightmare cost me that.

 

As for this cut, it's been the usual pattern of symptoms, cut, then a little something on day 2, then day 3 a bit more, and day 4 going into day 5 being the worst, the 'peak"..

 

However, one thing I've been getting that's new for me is dizziness. I've had this feeling like I'm on a boat or a plane and I feel like I'm swaying back and fourth. Is this a common symptom?

 

Because, for the past 5 weeks of doing this taper, I've never had the 'dizzy' thing. All other symptoms I've had each time I've cut before, but this 'sea legs' dizziness thing is new.

 

I hope this goes away.

 

I still cant shake the feeling that I'm getting these new symptoms ( like the dizziness) due to the fact that I take this crap 3 times a day now everyday for 6 weeks. I do think taking it everyday has made me sicker. In fact, I don't know how anybody could take this stuff everyday even if they were not trying to taper..I get dizzy and sick..I would have just stopped...

 

But I can't now. Just got to keep cutting. But I've taken MORE Xanax in the past 2 months then I had in the past two YEARS!!

 

I'm convinced the 3x a day and daily dosing is making me sicker. I never would have done this normally, even pre taper. My body would have rejected it..

 

Anyway, sorry to rant again..but I think having my second cut last 14 days and having cut 3 last 16 days (all due to starting and then stopping that cream) has made me sicker. Before the cream nightmare, I was ready to cut around day 8..but I held..then when I stopped the cream..I had to hold again!!

 

It's the adding of time , I believe, that's making me sicker..not the sxs from the cuts or the taper itself...just adding the days..because I was not a daily user, until I started to taper..and now with the dizziness, I feel sick.

 

Any advice? I think I want to try cutting on day 8 from now on. Again, not because I'm trying to 'rush" my taper..but only because, I feel that taking this stuff everyday is really whats making me sick. It's the daily use that's getting to me, I think. Not the cuts.

 

I just think at the end of all this I'll be looking at 4 - 5 months to get off it..When I was only concerned with 3-4 days a week of usage once a day for only 6 months. I've taken more Xanax trying to kick it then I did when I was really on it!! It's like the cure is worse then the disease!! It would be different if I was a daily user in the past ( like most everybody on this site) but I wasn't! But I am now!! I feel like I just got dragged into the quick sand with everybody else..when maybe I could have avoided it. And this dizziness is making this worse.

 

Any thoughts?...

[[Ju...]]

Please remember that it can take less than 2-weeks for a new dosing pattern to be established, (become dependent upon the new dosing pattern), IMO.  What is done is done.  I'm sorry this happened to you JACD, but you're where you are now, not where you were, if that makes sense.  I would still not cut by the calendar, (every 8-days), I'd cut by my hit and stabilization pattern.  That always worked best for me.

 

I'm sorry the steroid cream threw a monkey wrench into your taper.  But the cream is gone now and the farther away from the effects of the cream, the closer you will come to forgetting about what happened.

 

Thanks for asking about me.  I'm a bit under the weather right now but hope to be feeling more like myself soon.  Congratulations on getting down to .50mg!  Only 8 more cuts to go, if you continue cutting .0625.  You'll be taking your last quarter of a pill before you know it.  I know right now it seems like the taper is lasting forever, but it isn't.  Keep going JACD.     

[[...]]

Thanks Juliea!

 

Well, I hope your feeling better. Yes, I've cooled down a bit since my last post..What can you do right?

 

IF i could do my taper all over again, I would have only tapered on the days I originally dosed. In other words, since I only took 1mg, on Friday,Saturday and Monday,Tuesday. I would have done my .0625 cut on those days I used. And I would have only dosed once a day.I still would be tapering and going slow, I just would never have ADDED MORE days and doses, like I have for the past two months. I know,it's less a dose now, but the frequency of dosing is , for me, way,way, up...

 

And now, I'm getting dizzy all the time. Is this normal? The first 5 weeks of my taper, I got WD's, but now I get dizzy, like being on a boat. It flairs up AFTER i take a dose too.This is only been going on for the past 2 weeks.

 

I don't understand what you mean, when you say it can take less then 2- weeks for a new dosing pattern to be established?

Are you saying that, your body can become 'hooked" or 'used to" a new dose less then 2 weeks? Because, I don't want my body to get used to thinking it's got to 'hold" at each new cut for 2 weeks now! I don't want to wait 14 days between cuts here! I feel because I couldn't cut sooner ( due to the steroid cream) I've since been getting a 'new' symptom. The dizziness. I never had it until, I 'held for 16 days..now I get the dizzy.

 

My first cuts were 10 days each and I'd feel the cut, 4 days in and get the WD's but then calm down and be ready to cut by day 8 or 9 but I'd hold until day 10..it was fine. But since my cream nightmare, and having to wait 14 days cut 3, and wait 16 days cut four, NOW i get dizzy!

 

Maybe it's not related. I don't know. What do you think?

 

I am ready to cut now, I feel stable ( except for the dizziness) today will make day 10 of .5....

 

Any thoughts?

[[Ju...]]

Glad you're feeling ready to cut.  I'm feeling much better.  What I mean by the 2-weeks is that when you changed your original dosing pattern from 4X per week to daily, that after dosing daily for 2-weeks, your body seemed to very quickly get accustomed to the daily dosing and required that pattern to stave off withdrawals, IMO.  Another way to say it is you probably became dependent, (yes, hooked), on that pattern, IMO.  Benzos are recommended to be limited to a 2-week course of treatment to avoid dependency.  So it stands to reason that if 2-weeks can cause some new folks who start taking a benzo to become dependent, that a non-daily doser can also become dependent on daily dosing within this amount of time, IMO.  This is my logic behind my opinion.

 

Yes, I experienced dizziness and the boaty feeling.  This was a withdrawal symptom I felt at the top end of my taper.  If the symptom was bad, (intolerable), on a day I was planning to cut, I waited until it settled back down.  This symptom went away as I got lower in dose.  I'd take this as a sign that my body is still stabilizing.

 

No, establishing a new dosing pattern has nothing to do with our holds, IMO, unless say for example, our days dose is broken up and spread out more, (for example changing dosing from 3X per day to 4X per day).  I believe the body could very quickly become dependent upon a change like that.

 

As far as listening to your body though, I believe your body is telling you something with your new symptom of dizziness.  I'd be inclined to see if the symptom settled down a bit prior to making another cut if it is even close to intolerable.  I know that's not what you want to hear but I also know you'd rather have me be honest with you about what I'm thinking.  If it's important enough for you to mention it, (the dizziness), to me, it's important to listen to what your body is trying to tell you. 

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do with your cut.  Remember, a few cuts I held for a day or so longer than 14-days because I let my symptoms guide me.

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Juliea

 

Well, today is day 11 of .5 now..My Dizzy thing comes and goes. In fact it seems to rev up AFTER I take a dose..I'm fine and then after a dose, the dizzy starts. It all began when I went from cutting every 10 days ( i'd actually cut on the 11th day) to when I had to hold because of the cream, to 14 days , then again 17 days, before beginning this cut.

 

That's when it happened, when I had to lengthen my hold times due to the starting and stopping of the Steriod cream. For the first 5 weeks of tapering and 3x a day everyday , I never had the Dizzy thing. Then when I start extending my holds, BAM, now I get the dizzy. All the other symptoms have passed.

 

I feel it's because I'm taking this stuff everyday and had to hold 14 days, then 17 days that I got the Dizzy spells.

 

I dont really want to wait to see if it goes away. The point is that it's been 2 cut cycles and it HASN'T gone away! But every thing else has.

 

What am I going to do? Wait 3 more weeks until the Dizzy 'maybe' stops? What if it doesn't? Then I just added more time then I needed again!!

 

And I'm sure if I told my Doc that I'm getting Dizzy he'd tell me to stop taking this crap immediately, but then I'd get all of the OTHER symptoms!!

 

It's like, that's the point, I cut, three days go by , I feel the cut hit, the first 3-4 days , day 4 into day 5 is the peak, then I stable and by day 7, 8 or more,,I'm fine. The end. But NOW i also get this Dizzy thing. All the other symptoms stop..EXCEPT the Dizzy!!!

 

It's true, I could not take this stuff every single day...But now, I'm stuck, so I'm just going to power through it.

 

When every other symptom ( even the ones I hate the most) are GONE..I should wait until the Dizzy stops? That's the point. IT DOSENT STOP!!

 

I mean it comes and goes..it's not every second, and it really hits AFTER I dose ( another reason why I knew I shouldn't have taken this stuff 3 x a day...) but what can I do now?

 

The Anxiety, Panic, headaches, Benzo belly, insomnia, muscle aches, tiredness, Benzo flu...I get all of that..and then they all pass ( by around day 5 or 6 into each cut...but not the dizzy. It comes and goes..but never really has stopped for the past 3 weeks. Even though every other symptoms has.

 

If I had the other symptoms as well, of course, I'd hold and wait.. but it's just this 'new "one as of late.

 

You really think I should wait?  I mean, I can walk..I'm not spinning, but I do feel it. And it's the same at the beginning of a cut as at the end of a cut. No change. Every OTHER sxs changes, but not the Dizzy.

 

 

Thoughts?

 

 

[[...]]

I just feel that, if 90% of my symptoms are gone from each cut, I should move forward. Am I wrong?

Again, especially since I was not a daily user until about two months ago! I've read that the two things that matter most are how high of a dose of the Benzo you've been on  and how LONG you've been on it.

 

I've taken more Xanax more times in the past 8-9 weeks then I had in the past 6 months when I was really using! At least back then , I had some normal days off Xanax ( I could go a few days, and when I got a WD, it was quick and fleeting). Now I get it every 5 hours!! And now this dizzy stuff!!

 

I feel like not even counting the past 6 months of my 4 day a week usage. I feel it's the daily 3x a day usage of the last 2 1/2 months that I'm trying to kick! It's like I need a Taper from the Taper!!

 

And it's not due to the normal WD symptoms we all get...I really feel for me, it's the frequency of doses. I swear that's whats doing it.

 

It would be perfectly fine, had I used Xanax in the past once a day everyday for those last 6 months..Then it would have made sense to , perhaps, split up the daily dose and taper and hold and wait etc....

 

But, I've only been a daily user since I've started to quit!! Only for the past 2 1/2 months!! That's it!

 

AHHH!

 

And I was chugging along..then bam a 'new' sxs...the Dizzy...

 

I think it's all related to me taking it everyday...when I never used to. So, if 90% of the symptoms I've experienced every week since I've been cutting go away within a few days of each cut, that seems like a good average. Especially when this dizzy thing is sort of new and was not around for the first 5 weeks and only started WHEN I held so long.

 

I don't know..I'm ranting...I hate Doctors and Drug companies!!!

 

What a nightmare! My god, I never would have gotten involved with this crap, had I known...

 

And I know I'm one of the 'lucky ones"...it could be worse, and it has only been a short time, compared to most people..and a "low" dose too..

 

 

Juliea, I just want it over.....and I don't want to add on or make it worse...and I feel like I already have..

[[...]]

One last thing about the Dizzy..(I know I'm on a roll!)

 

It's always the same, since I first got it until now..It's not like one day is worse then the other, or the intensity is high one day , low the next.

 

It's always the same 'feeling".

 

It's just here. Here I am. A dizzy feeling.

 

At the start of a cut, through a cut, at the end of a cut.

 

All the same. Just here. Not too, too, bad. But not too good. I'd rather it be gone. And it's sort of 'new", like, "oh, great ANOTHER problem from this withdrawal nightmare" Thanks.

 

So, I'm kind of used to it..but I say this to also explain that , holding , might not matter for this symptom.

 

It's like insomnia. Are we to hold until our insomnia goes away? Or are we just stuck with it and we deal with it until were off this crap.

[[Ju...]]

Hey, rant away! This is what this place is for. 

 

This is what I said:

 

Yes, I experienced dizziness and the boaty feeling.  This was a withdrawal symptom I felt at the top end of my taper.  If the symptom was bad, (intolerable), on a day I was planning to cut, I waited until it settled back down.

 

Note I said if the symptom was "intolerable" on a day I planned to cut, I'd hold.  Intolerable meaning so bad I was extremely sick from the symptom.  I cut on days I experienced dizziness but I did not cut on days I had "intolerable" dizziness.  Some days were better than others and some were much worse.  I never cut on the really bad days.  Does that make sense?

 

I don't believe for one minute that this is a symptom coming from taking more Xanax.  I believe this is a symptom that stems from taking less Xanax.  It's a withdrawal symptom plain and simple, IMO.

 

I watched a non-daily doser withdraw from Xanax and she experienced the exact same symptoms that all of us daily dosers experienced, except perhaps to a lesser degree.  There is no way off of these meds for most of us, except to go through the experience of benzo withdrawal and it's no fun as you well know.

 

Also, stabilize does not mean that all symptoms are gone to me, it means that the symptoms have settled down to an easily manageable level.  I never felt completely perfect for one day during my taper.

 

Does that give you the information you needed to understand where I'm coming from?

[[...]]

Thanks Juliea!

 

Got it. I know what your saying now.

 

And guess what? Today, my Dizziness totally stopped! All day. Even when taking a dose. Nothing.

 

It's been 11 days, and so I cut. I now understand what you mean, when you say don't cut on a day when sxs ( dizzy or otherwise) are intolerable. Don't cut on a 'bad day" just because it's day 7 or 14 or whenever day one plans to cut.

 

Go by how you feel, not the calendar. I get that. I always understood that one. I would never 'just cut" In fact , I have held longer then I wanted , mainly due to the cream nightmare, but the point is, I do hold. I get it. As it is, the soonest I've ever cut was on day 11 of a cut. That's been my 'norm". I just got held up by my cream drama and that's why I was upset. It's like I had enough problems going through this Benzo nightmare and now a stupid skin cream f''s up my WD and makes it worse?

 

Thanks again Doctors! Jeez..

 

I know, let it go, it's all over now. Rash is healed by the way..

 

When you say the dizzy is caused by taking less Xanax as a WD symptom. I get that. But I never had it for the first 5 weeks of my Taper, it was only when I held longer 14 days or 17 days, not 10-11, that I got the dizzy. I just feel the more I take of this junk the sicker I get. I feel like I'm ramping up the Xanax, and at the same time going down from the xanax. It's like I'm going up the hill and down at the same time..Yes, my dose now is less then it used to be,,it's no longer 1mg, it's .5, well now it's .4375, and that's great..but at the same time..I take this crap 3 x a day and every single day..So, it's strange.

 

As I've said , I used to get inter dose WD's when I was using 1mg 4 days a week.That's how I knew I had a problem...BUT my inter dose withdrawals came every 24-36 hours! I'd take a pill on a saturday, then I'd take a pill on a Monday..Sunday, I'd be fine. No pill..No WD. But, if I would miss monday....I'd get WD. That's how I knew I had a problem..but at least I was Ok half the time! Now, like you said about yourself, I never have a totally 'good" day. It's either really bad, or just bad, or ok..But the whole 2 months I've been tapering,,I've never had a full 24 hours of 'peace'. I'll have windows of peace, thank god..but, I definitely know and feel that I'm sick, I'm aware of it every minuet.

 

And before doing 3x a day everyday, I wasn't. It's like I said, if I could do it all over again , I would taper just on my 4 days...still doing 4 days a week, just cut .0625 every week or so..and only dose ONCE. And only on the four days.

 

And , as you know, I've given this a lot of thought, but, it is true, that even if I would have followed that plan..I could very well have ended up here posting that I'm now having WD's on my off days..That could have happened. And then, yeah, I'd end up taking it everyday like I do now anyway. I am aware that, it could have gone like that in the end,no mater what I started with. But, we'll never know now.

 

Still even so, I could have at least had a little 'head start" and cut it down by half and THEN maybe would have ended up splitting it up and dosing everyday. But it could have been half the time. Like, I'd only have had to do 3x a day everyday for 4 weeks or from .25 down etc...

 

but now, this things gonna take me , like 5 months of daily dosing to get off .75/1mg.

 

I don't know..Ranting again.

 

Thanks for the info about the non daily user going through the same sxs we all do. And thanks for saying that you never had a perfect day in your taper either.

 

That's how I feel too.

[[...]]

Hi Juliea

 

Got to ask you..I'm now at .4375. thank God! But my cuts go like so, Morning dose .1875/Mid late day dose (latest cut) now .1250 and late night dose .1250.

 

I've been splitting up the pills from .5 mg pills. Cut cut them with the pill cutter and then use a razor blade to shave off a quarter..

 

I've got .25 pills now ( same brand as my .5 too) and I want to start using then..BUT , here's my question..I've been cutting these .5 pills, by eye, they seem ok, but sometimes, one seems a bit smaller, or a tad, larger on any given day.This is how it's gone for the last 6 weeks or whatever...I'm just worried that if I cut a .25 in half..then that cut will REALLY be a .1250 cut. Not a 'slightly larger" cut or whatever. It's a good thing in the end, but I'm worried that when I switch to all .25 pills and break them in half. Will my body flip out and think it's just got a massive cut all at once?

 

I mean, I think, it's cut properly, but when I get the actual .1250 cut's they might be slightly smaller then my eyeball cuts have been. And I don't want to throw my body into WD's thinking it's getting cut when it's not.

 

Do you know what I mean?

 

So, any advice as to how to transition from my sloppy eyeball cuts, to the REAL .1250 cuts?

 

I've got about 12 more of the .5's that I've been using..plus about 6 .1250 cuts from .5's that I have used as my last late dose.

 

I just don't want to all at once switch to precisely .1250 cuts! Maybe it will be fine, maybe my cut's were fine, they look good, but..maybe not.

 

I dont want a big surprise.

 

Any thoughts Juliea?

[[Ju...]]

I made a transition from using a combo of 1mg pills and .25's to all .25's, so I understand where you're coming from.  I was worried too because I knew the 1mg tabs were way more concentrated with Xanax than the .25's.  I made the transition when I got to just below 1mg.  What I did was I used 1/2 of a 1mg along with enough .25 tabs and pieces to make up my dose for the day for about the first 3-4 days of my hold and then switched to all .25 tabs and pieces.  I did not notice any difference when I made the switch.  You could do the same thing by using 1/2 of a .50 along with the pieces of a .25 to make up your dose or any combo of .50's and .25's you feel comfortable with and slide into all .25's for your dose.  I don't believe you will notice much of a difference.  Hopefully not.  I was pleasantly surprised that the white Xanax continued to work for my taper because the white tabs were what I'd started with many moons ago.  It was almost like I was rewinding all of my years of escalating dosages back down to the beginning of my Xanax experience.  Those white tabs still pack a heck of a lot of punch, so please don't think you're going to be left out in the cold.  In fact getting more even doses from day to day should make your CNS happier, IMO.  Good luck JACD! You're doing great and I'm so glad you're under .50! Well done. 

 

PS--- Not that your experience will be the same, but my cut to the dose you're on now was when I really felt Xanax's grip on me loosen.  It was probably my easiest cut.  I sooooo hope you have a similar experience. 

[[...]]

Hi Juliea

 

Thanks again for the post!

 

Well, two things, I can't belive I'm saying this...but I may have to go back to .5 for a few days.

 

I just got sent a bunch of work, but the Fed ex wont be here intill sometime monday. Today is friday, day 12 of cut 4 and day 2 of cut 5. Anyway, my pattren goes..cut,next day feel somthing not too bad, day 3 more, day 4 going into 5 peak..worst day..day 5 better, day 6 better,,then from then on ..I'm cool..

 

Anyway, what I'm getting at is..I have to turn around all this work by maybe Wed of next week, after only getting it on Monday. ( maybe i'll have more time, don't know) Still, I have to be ready to work ( with numbers, computers, music programs, forms etc..a lot of brain power.)

 

I'm feel last nights cut right now. Do I just keep on going..because Monday will be day 5 of the cut..but sunday night will be hell, my peak day...

 

Or do I just reinstate today ( it's only been one day) and get the work monday, then maybe cut on Tuesday night or Wed.

Tuesday would make 16 days, wed 17 days...

 

Any thoughts? I'm ready to cut now, that's why I did..but I want to be 'on" for these work days..and who knows how I'll feel 4 days from now when the work comes?

 

Help! Thoughts?

[[Ju...]]

Totally up to you.  It's your taper.  That's the beauty of a patient directed taper. 

[[...]]

Also, I too have the white .25 Activas pills..my .5 were yellow Activas pills too.

 

So, your saying maybe try mixing them in ..but only 4 days into the dose? That's what I was thinking too. Like I may cut a white one and use that .1250 as my last .1250 dose ( I'm only cutting my mid day 2nd dose right now..)

 

Is that what your saying?

 

I hope your right about the CNS liking a more even dose. I just hope it's not a 'cut" when I dont want it to be. That's what I'm worried about. Because eventually ALL my doses will be cuts from the white .25 pills. The next cut after this will be .1250 for all 3 daily doses. And I'll just break the .25 in half and that's it. But then It'll be exactly .1250! Each time...

 

and I hope it's not a shock!

 

But if you read the post before this..I may need to go back to .5 for a few days , for work.

 

Just when I think I'm out! They pull me back in! Sucks..That's the problem with this LONG taper with Benzos..Other drugs , you can get off of , in a week, 2 weeks, maybe a month tops. Not this crap. It takes FOREVER ( I know, it's going fast..but still..) and the problem is..life happens. Stuff comes up and you have to deal with it.

 

I hope your right about this cut being smoother..that would be great...even if I have to go back and then cut Tuesday or Wed due to work.

 

Thoughts?