ASHTON TAPER / CUT & HOLD SUPPORT

[Guest [in...]]

Hi Rose!  We posted at the same time. How are you today?

[[ro...]]

Ingrid,

Hi....weepy. It's 12:30 pm....all morning.. I did not cut.

I only slept a few hours both nights..doesn't help things.

 

Very down.

 

 

Rose

[[ro...]]

My friend and family are out, busy...gonna curl up in my big easy chair, blanket, watch hallmark movie..that's it for now..

. Rose

[Guest [in...]]

I hate to hear that Rose. I was hoping the extra sleep would continue.  Did Dr say how long the deplin might take to start working? I dont know alot about that, does it help for sleep or just depression? I am also in my recliner with Hazel and heating pad, freezing. I hiked 5 miles this morning. We got snow, and it's sooo gloomy too. Im glad you didnt cut but I was really hoping that would help. I remember watching "You've Got Mail" when I was down, and it helped me some. Maybe the Hallmark will do you a little good? Just remember, things always change, eventually. You just have to see this through, dear. Life may be swirling and twisting and turning all around you, but just keep the faith. Keep believing that you will get through this. I worry about you, yet I also see how strong you are too. Im here, so you're not alone.  Ive been through alot and survived, you will, you must. 

[[ro...]]

Ingrid,

 

Really down....

Too much comparing. Family, friends, neighbors..

Comparing..

Feel I'm on hold. Miss my joy.

 

Be warm, cozy dear friend.

:smitten:rose

[[Ju...]]

I feel like no sleep is my only symptom- but of course it brings anxiety with it. Yes, this is still within the normal pattern I was just hoping that a smaller cut would make it easier. Nothing helps me sleep- I just have to wait.

[[eg...]]

I'd like to join you here.

I have been doing well -( considering I rarly leave the house ) - since Nov 6th until today- it is noon and I am still in bed.

I don't know what happened and can't name a specific SX.

Am posting here to connect with others doing Ashton. I cut every Tuesday- was so looking foreword to

The jump- now I am almost paralyzed with apathy

I sleep well - have morning cortosal issues but know how to deal- today is just odd.

[[ar...]]

Hi egotrapped!  Welcome!

[[Sh...]]

Hey ego trapped - I see we started our tapers around the same time. But I started on half the dosage, so I've been done with that poison for about a month now...and feel SO much better. You will too, I'm sure!

[[ar...]]

Cut to 4.5mg starting today.  Continuing the journey to 0.

 

Had some issues with 5mg but I think it was related to too much fiber.  This poison Valium makes me constipated so I drink prune juice and bran cereal.  I think some of the GI issues were because of that.  Hard to tell the difference if it was withdrawal or too much fiber...LOL.  Cutting back on the fiber on this cut. 

 

I hope all is well with everyone.

[[Ju...]]

I'm feeling better today. I have noticed when I do sleep I have been dreaming of music, nothing I have ever heard before but full on songs with singing and I wake up thinking who left the radio on, and the music stops. Our brains are so strange and powerful.

 

Hi egotrapped.... we are all going to make it even when it seems like we wont.

[Guest [va...]]

I'm joining in today. I have been keeping up on all your posts. I have been getting a smorgasbord of symptoms so I can relate a bit to most of you. I get migraines, dizziness, fatigue, don't see friends and horrible depression. I sleep well but every morning I wake up from the most disturbing dreams that stick me. I think the worst is the depression. What scare me is I have a mood disorder called Mood disorder NOS. It's sort of like Bipolar 2. I just love the labels  . There is hope for us with mood disorders. I see how strong you guys are who have suffered psychotic depression  . I also have a up coming MRI for a benign brain tumor.

 

As I said I have a smorgasbord  .

 

Smallred, I think about you poem about how we are still winning all the time and it gives me strength. I think about Ingrig on the 5 mile hikes in the mountains and I live vicariously through you. . JKS, I just keep breathing.

 

Sometimes I forget the name of the person who posted the message and I will address the wrong person so please forgive me. I have very bad short term memory. I have done it before and it was not good  .

 

The thing I find most challenging is how to pull oneself out of a depression when you feel so sick and tired. I have a challenging home life and with our floor plan there is no escape. The odds are against me. I'm going to need Botox when this is all over  . I am getting hopeless that it ever will be over  :'(.

 

I wish I could curl up with a good movie but I get anxious being indoors. Maybe I will drag myself out to a coffee house.

 

I hope everyone has a better day today  .

[Guest [in...]]

valley girl Im glad my 5 mile hikes through the mtns can inspire you.  I am also the person that had a psychotic depression. I was so bad off, that I could not even walk up stairs. I just stayed in the bed and stared all day. Yes, there is so much hope out there. Depression, for most, eventually subsides. I know it's so hard for you right now. It's a struggle, but the struggles in life will show you what you're made of, what you're capable of surviving, my dear.  When I was in the thick of my depression, I thought it was Forever. It's not Forever. And your radiance will come back too, with no Botox.  I also thought "this is aging me. I will never look good again". Im here to tell you that with good nutrition, sleep, and exercise, I look better than before and Im stronger now too. Keep the faith, my BB! 

[Guest [in...]]

JKS so glad to hear that youre feeling better.  I havent dreamed of music, yet. I am having vivid dreams after each cut though. Yes, we will get through this! 

[[ro...]]

Ingrid,  :smitten:

 

About the depression...

Thank you for reassurance too..

 

Rose

[Guest [va...]]

Thanks Ingrid!!! JKS, glad your feeling better too

[[ar...]]

I too have been getting weird dreams from tapering.  Usually dreams about people from my past...nothing horrific.  I take it these dreams stop when done tapering and normal sleep patterns emerge when GABA is up regulated?  Back to work, home for lunch.

[Guest [va...]]

Hey Arcade79, If I remember correctly this is be a sign of healing    Is it about people from your past you haven't thought about in a while?

[Guest [va...]]

Do any of you get sad and irritated with peoples posts on Facebook? I know I'm an adult and I should know better. These people are just trying to brag about fabulous lives even though it may not be all true bc then they wouldn't be posting so much. But the child in me still hurts since I'm vulnerable. Unfortunately I have to go on FB bc part of my job is to connect with people and this is a way to do it. I miss the old days.

 

What's funny is my husband is one of those FB junkies  .

[[ro...]]

Valley girl,

Yes I do also. My family travels a lot, always pics of fabulous good times on fb.

I get sad from it , irritated too. Since I've been in wd, a year, my life has been so different.

 

I understand..

Rose

[Guest [va...]]

Thank you Rose. Fabulous times ahead for all of us. Our will be even more so bc of what we will overcome.

[[Ju...]]

My facebook usage lets me know how I am feeling! I can't face it when I am down- too easy to feel sad about what I am missing! Ingrid I want to go hiking with you

Rose, I am sending you a hug!

[Guest [in...]]

JKS and anyone---Youre all welcome to come along on a hike!  I wish we could all hike that trail that goes thru Spain and to the sea. It was featured in the movie, "The Way" with Martin Sheen, loved it. Would love to do that! Camino de Santiago!!!

 

 

[Guest [va...]]

JKS, try not to log in to much and think about all the goods things in life. I shall practice what I preach  . Ingrid, I'm buying some new hiking shoes!   Rose, my life is soooo different now too. I lost me 7 years ago. I'm hope full our lives may be different then before but better then ever once this crazy ride is over .

 

 

[[ar...]]

Hey Arcade79, If I remember correctly this is be a sign of healing    Is it about people from your past you haven't thought about in a while?

 

Valley Girl,

 

You are correct.  It's about people I haven't thought about or have seen in many years.  My last dream was I opened up a hamburger joint with an old friend from High School.

 

All, in response to your Facebook comments, here is a great article about contentment and social media.  I quit Facebook a long time ago.  I was always comparing my life to others and decided I had enough of it and was content with my life.

 

http://zenhabits.net/miraculous/