`One Year Off Xanax`

[[Pi...]]

Thx for the encouragement! I am psyching myself up to my final jump. I am on 2 mg V now.i am going to plan the day to begin again and use titration method. I don't want to have the s/e of jumping. It's insidious though. The black blanket is so heavy I just can't bear it! Sounds so dramatic but it's the truth.i have not much strength left.

[[Sp...]]

Megan - so good to read your story and hear of your continued healing. The morning anxiety was crippling. The panic and fear were so hard to deal with especially after the kind of nights we endure during the thick of this. It is such a blessing to be through it. I am so happy for you. Cindy

[[...]]

Hi!

I read that you did your final valium taper in little over a month?  I am in the same boat that I have just about that much valium left and want to finish my taper before I run out.  I do not have access to more.

 

Would you please send me your valium taper schedule?  I have only been on benzos since 5/15/13, and feel like such a wimp that I became so dependent on them so quickly when compared to those who were on them for years, but the wd symptoms are very real non-the-less.  Any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

Currently taking 2.5mg valium three times a day.  Worst symptoms are from 10am - 2pm

[[me...]]

Hi!

I read that you did your final valium taper in little over a month?  I am in the same boat that I have just about that much valium left and want to finish my taper before I run out.  I do not have access to more.

 

Would you please send me your valium taper schedule?  I have only been on benzos since 5/15/13, and feel like such a wimp that I became so dependent on them so quickly when compared to those who were on them for years, but the wd symptoms are very real non-the-less.  Any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

Currently taking 2.5mg valium three times a day.  Worst symptoms are from 10am - 2pm

 

Hi,

 

I had to taper quickly because my prescription had been stopped.  I don't remember the details, I just counted the pills I had left and figured out a way to taper off with the pills I had.  There was no schedule as such, I just worked with what I had.  I "jumped" at 2.5 mgs.  Other than that, valium has a much longer half-life than Xanax, and it's more sedating, so I didn't have any severe symptoms until I was off benzos completely.

 

Megan

[[eg...]]

Thank you, Megan,

 

You give me hope and reality as well. I know it will be a long healing process and some of the things you mentioned could send me back--I think this forum could be my distraction & getting back to my studies.

 

I guess I could write here what I am going through and read of others doing it in spite of WD symptoms.

I honestly don't know if I can do this. I want to- maybe that is a start. I am so tired of feeling bad and being a slave to this drug.

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Again Megan,

Were you able to work during your healing process?  My fear is that the symptoms will get worse, which is what I have been reading about tapers even following the Ashton plan and I will not be able to go to work.  I cannot afford for that to happen since I am the sole source of my support. 

 

I am a little lost here.  I slowed down my taper and will spend the next four weeks dropping .5mg until I am off.  I know every one here says I should micro taper even slower, but I do not have access to more pills so that is it.

 

I have two weeks of vacation left this year.  Should I take them immediately after jumping or wait and take them two weeks after jumping or when the symptoms get worse?

[[me...]]

Hi Again Megan,

Were you able to work during your healing process?  My fear is that the symptoms will get worse, which is what I have been reading about tapers even following the Ashton plan and I will not be able to go to work.  I cannot afford for that to happen since I am the sole source of my support. 

 

I am a little lost here.  I slowed down my taper and will spend the next four weeks dropping .5mg until I am off.  I know every one here says I should micro taper even slower, but I do not have access to more pills so that is it.

 

I have two weeks of vacation left this year.  Should I take them immediately after jumping or wait and take them two weeks after jumping or when the symptoms get worse?

 

Hi, I'm sorry I didn't answer this sooner.  However, I'm retired, so this issue hasn't been a factor in my recovery.  It can be very difficult to continue working during withdrawal/recovery but many here do it.  If you haven't already, a good place for you to post is this thread:  How many HAVE to work while tapering?.

 

Megan

[[me...]]

In the late 1990's I started to experience palpitations and tachycardia, which in turn generated panic attacks

that got worse and worse as time went on.  I soon developed an intense fear of the panic attacks

themselves, anticipatory fear, which is common in "panic disorder."  When I was prescribed xanax for the

first time in 1999, I thought it was a gift from heaven.  It worked beautifully, no more palpitations and no

more panic attacks.  I took it for many years before I developed tolerance, which I first noticed when i began

to run out of pills before the end of each month.

 

To make a long story short, I eventually realized that xanax was a double-edged sword which was sapping

my mind and my creativity.  I'd been a successful painter (animals, birds, plants), even making a living from

my art.  But while on xanax I lost all desire to paint, or do much of anything.  I made two unsuccessful

attempts to get off xanax in 2005 and 2009, reinstating at a higher dose each time.  Then finally, in early

2012, I rapidly tapered, crossed over to valium, and off on March 18, 2012.  My prescription had been cut

off, so I couldn't do a longer taper.  But the taper went smoothly, and I only had symptoms once I was off.

They were overwhelming:

 

 

Withdrawal Symptoms at 0-5 months off:

 

 

Anxiety:        Extreme anxiety in the mornings, waking at 4 am, hypervigilance, out-of-the-blue panic

 

Senses:        Altered, distorted and extremely acute hearing, smell, taste, hyperosmia

 

Eyes:            Red, painful, dry,  Visual distortions, minor hallucinations, floaters, etc.

 

Head Sys:      Congestion, pain, cog fog, head zaps, earaches, headaches, sinus problems

 

Body:            Extreme flushing, sweating, chills, pains, temp. hair loss, vertigo, insomnia, vivid dreams

 

Muscles:        Stiffness, pain, twitching, facial tics, hand tremors, restless leg syndrome

 

Nerves:          Raw, exposed, "open wound" feeling all over--absolutely excruciating!

 

Mental:          Depression, obsessive, intrusive thoughts, morbid thoughts, racing mind, agoraphobia,

                      DP/DR, and  extreme hypochondria with countless imagined health issues!

 

Starting in month 5, my symptoms began to lessen, and slowly but steadily got better.  I had windows and waves.

A non-linear rollercoaster ride, but in general I still felt worst in the morning and much better by evening each day.

 

When I started having severe mental symptoms I desperately looked for a way to regain "control."  I found it in

self-distraction, which I applied obsessively at first.  It became an ingrained habit, and I began to look forward

to my favorite distractions.  I began to relax a little, and during months 6-12  the healing really accelerated.

 

Besides distraction, I've done meditation and other spiritual practices.  All of these took my mind off my symptoms

for awhile.  In the afternoons when I started feeling better I'd relax, read, nap, or watch tv.  Nothing strenuous.

I eat what I want and drink half/caff coffee (helps the cog-fog). 

 

 

Remaining symptoms at one year off:

 

Head symptoms, though slowly improving, are still with me.  The zaps have stopped, but congestion, foggyness,

and at times, pain, remain, especially early in the day.

 

Physical symptoms:  almost all gone, with the exception of occasional restless legs, and rarely, mild vertigo.

 

Mental symptoms:  mostly gone, but  I still have occasional racing thoughts when in a "wave,"  My anxiety level

is now much lower than it was before benzos.  This is remarkable since I was prescribed xanax for anxiety!

 

When I took my last benzo a year ago I didn't really have any faith that I could do this.  I'd tried it twice before and

failed. But with the help of BenzoBuddies, I finally managed it.  At three months off I got rid of my stash of xanax,

and I never took a "rescue dose."  The hardest thing for me was learning how to live and cope with my

anxiety without xanax.  I never thought I was a particularly strong person, but now I know I am.  I've proved it!

 

If I can do this, you can too!

 

:smitten:

[[me...]]

Tomorrow is my 18th months off anniversary, and I'm happy to say I'm about 98% HEALED.

 

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

I'm currently tapering slowly off citalopram and am getting a few minor symptoms from that, which is why I don't say I'm 100% healed.  But I now feel better, clearer headed, more creative, and considerably less anxious than I did either on Xanax or before I took Xanax.  Of course, I've also aged 14 years, so I don't expect to be same as I was before.

 

 

Love, Megan 

 

[[Ja...]]

So happy for you Megan. That is awesome news!

[[Ra...]]

Needed this today. Thanks Megan.

 

Ragnar

[[...]]

Congrats Megan!

 

Your story and all the success stories give the rest of who are still tapering hope!

[[he...]]

  YEAH FOR YOUUUUUUU :clap:

[[Mi...]]

Oh Megan , I'm a year off and soooo scared I won't improve. I,m so bad at the moment and have been so bad for so many weeks I'm worried this is it. Losing hope, and really struggling at e moment. Tell me I will improve.... Please! Xxx

 

[[Mo...]]

Tomorrow is my 18th months off anniversary, and I'm happy to say I'm about 98% HEALED.

 

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

I'm currently tapering slowly off citalopram and am getting a few minor symptoms from that, which is why I don't say I'm 100% healed.  But I now feel better, clearer headed, more creative, and considerably less anxious than I did either on Xanax or before I took Xanax.  Of course, I've also aged 14 years, so I don't expect to be same as I was before.

 

 

Love, Megan 

 

 

hi megan, i am sorry i am so late, just found this. so happy for you .

wow, must be a great feeling. all the best to you.

[[me...]]

Oh Megan , I'm a year off and soooo scared I won't improve. I,m so bad at the moment and have been so bad for so many weeks I'm worried this is it. Losing hope, and really struggling at e moment. Tell me I will improve.... Please! Xxx

 

I'm sorry things are still bad for you.  I still had a lot of symptoms at a year off, and and improved steadily after that.  I'm sure you will too, and I hope it happens soon for you.  Although we are all on different time tables, we are still healing nonetheless. 

 

Megan

[[Mi...]]

Thank you 

[[Re...]]

Tomorrow is my 18th months off anniversary, and I'm happy to say I'm about 98% HEALED.

 

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

I'm currently tapering slowly off citalopram and am getting a few minor symptoms from that, which is why I don't say I'm 100% healed.  But I now feel better, clearer headed, more creative, and considerably less anxious than I did either on Xanax or before I took Xanax.  Of course, I've also aged 14 years, so I don't expect to be same as I was before.

 

 

Love, Megan

 

You really don't know how happy this post makes me Megan.Of course I'm really happy that you're almost 100%. But it also gave  me a big boost that I needed today.I had a rubbish afternoon (I'm in the UK)and  your post just gave me that little bit of hope and reassurance that i will get there.I'm at almost 6 months since cold turkying and if I had to guess I'd say I was about 50-60%. So if I keep healing at this rate I may get to your level a bit sooner than you (I'm not counting on it though just in-case)......So a big thank you Megan and I'm really happy for you love.You get to go on and enjoy your life now without horrible tablets dragging you back. 

[[Mi...]]

Congratulations!! Thanks for the hope! So hope I'm a lot better by then. Only 5 months to go!!

[[He...]]

Hi Megan!

 

Just wondering what things did you do to help distract yourself? My mental symptoms (especially the intrusive thoughts) are still pretty bad, and I have been looking for a proper method of dealing with them for a while now.

 

Thank you so much, you can reply in a PM if you like!

[[Co...]]

Thsnk you Megan's for such an encouraging motivating post. I also am tapering ( direct) from lorazapam and think I have every single s/x you list. I am at. .125 ( 6am)..... dropped the 12 pm dose... .065 ( 6pm)...I believe my doses are actually increasing my s/x and am planning to jump once my morning dose is. .065...but can not yet imagine dealing with s/x w/o knowing that I can take a dose in said number of hours...I sometimes still count the hours until next dose ( much less often than in the middle of my taper).....your post had given me courage to think that I too can manage anxiety....even panic. w/o lorazapam....

[[mo...]]

Hi Megan,

I have read your testimony and wanted to ask your advise on setting up a taper detox. I been taking 4 to 6mg of Lorazapan  at night to help me sleep. I have been on this  for 2 years.  I am to the point I instantly go into withdrawls if I run out of my pills to early.  I too have anxiety big time. I have heard of a hospital detox. I just not sure I can do a taper.  I don't know how to set one up. Can you direct me to someone you can help me set up a taper plan for me?

 

[[me...]]

Hi Megan!

 

Just wondering what things did you do to help distract yourself? My mental symptoms (especially the intrusive thoughts) are still pretty bad, and I have been looking for a proper method of dealing with them for a while now.

 

Thank you so much, you can reply in a PM if you like!

 

 

My favorite distractions are old movies and period tv dramas, mysteries (books and film), artistic eye candy (art/craft sites such as Etsy), quality time with my pets, and just getting out of my house for a few hours.  It's important to use whatever works for YOU, though.

[[me...]]

Hi Megan,

I have read your testimony and wanted to ask your advise on setting up a taper detox. I been taking 4 to 6mg of Lorazapan  at night to help me sleep. I have been on this  for 2 years.  I am to the point I instantly go into withdrawls if I run out of my pills to early.  I too have anxiety big time. I have heard of a hospital detox. I just not sure I can do a taper.  I don't know how to set one up. Can you direct me to someone you can help me set up a taper plan for me?

 

Hi,

 

It sounds like you've developed tolerance, which is when you have to increase your dose to get the same effect as before.  That's probably why you're running out of pills too early. This happens to many benzo users, it happened to me as well.  I went through a four-day hospital detox 4 years ago, and it was nothing more than a glorified cold turkey, which left me with horrible withdrawal symptoms.  I do not recommend this.  The symptoms were hellish, and I ended up reinstating a few months later, only to have to taper off last year.  A taper is really the only way to go.....

 

[[Ju...]]

Congratulation Megan 918, your situation seems almost identical to mine.  People have no idea what you have been thru.  It is hard to describe unless you have had to  deal with it.  I am almost at 14 months and it is still challenging me.  With this you are not sure of anything but this pill called trileptal, which I have been taking for nearly 14 months,  may be causing me more problems than helping me.  The other day, I told my brother who is a doctor, I don't know if that is good or bad, that I can handle some sugar now.  Well I had a coke and some candy during the day,, and that afternoon I went to "Smoothie King"  For four hours after drinking that smoothie I was out of my mind.    Flare up, panic attack, whatever you want to call it,,  it was not fun.  I guess that tells me that I am still in withdrawal.  I am glad that you made it thru,  and pray to God  that I can get this in my past.    Thanks,  jude273