The Klonopin Klub

[[Ma...]]

Welcome Aliya,

 

Jax got it. Most told me to lay off the internet and I get that. However I have found so many people on BB have been through, going through, or about to go what I am going through. Has been a feeling of finally people understand in a world where no one believes me.

 

Max1973, I was never a hardcore drinker prior to K.  I would go out once in a while and  party no doubt but, then not drink for weeks or a month.  My last 6 months on K.  I WANTED a drink...It was wierd.  FG... someone else will have to respond about the "kindling"... I still dont understand fully what it means, Jess

 

Funny you mention the wanting to drink. My folks think the Klonopin was the root of evil in my drinking. I don't know if it was however the WD is keeping me for sure from not drinking at all, so maybe in my case WD is a God send.

[[Ga...]]

Buddie,  You make it sound like you had a quick easy ride down from your drug.  Are you feeling well,or just making it sound good or us.  Do you sleep?  Are you having musle issues?  Tell us how you really feel now.

[[Up...]]

Can't stablize on my new dose of 1.5mg of Klonopin. Failed taper in May, now it's almost the end of Aug and no stabilization in site. Been put into the psych ward and my old meds were reinstated so now that sucks. My old life of Poly-drugging continues....

[[lo...]]

 

Hello all

 

Been in this topic for a while, and just finish all reply, 4-5 days for me!

 

I've been with K for almost decade until I've experienced weird symptom such loss of libido, muscle loss, short memory, etc.

So I decide to quit from K by c/o to V few months ago. It was hell for months and I still really struggle.

 

Now I'm on the way of V tapering at .5mg and plan to jump next few days.

 

My main symptoms at moment are:-

 

- Muscle loss, tight and tension all over my body.

- Hormone imbalance, low testosterone, loss of libido

- Cognitive dysfunction

 

I hope to be better after jump, even now I get worse since off of K.

 

 

Hope you all doing well and heal!

LC

 

ps sorry for bad english

 

 

[[ja...]]

Buddie,  You make it sound like you had a quick easy ride down from your drug.  Are you feeling well,or just making it sound good or us.  Do you sleep?  Are you having musle issues?  Tell us how you really feel now.

 

With all due respect, Garden Lady, if you'd been reading Max's previous posts you would see he absolutely has not had a quick and easy ride. He's battling with another addiction, alcoholism - and according to experts both Klonopin and alcohol have awful w/d. If I had to go through both I would never make it. Max is showing strength, something we all need to have.

 

Also, he states his w/d effects in his signature...check it out.

 

I can understand if misery wants company, but those of us who aren't symptomatic still benefit others here by telling how things have been, and not always how they are.

 

[[ta...]]

LC,  we're all in this together here.  Hope your jump goes well and you feel better soon.  It is a long ride, but I think it will be worth it for me, and hopefully for you too.  Your English is fine, certainly good enough to read.  I've been having a lot of tension through my body and some cognitive issues, memory and confusion.  It seems to be fairly constant throughout the day, but as far as what I've read here, it does go away.  Wean very slowly with the valium, you still probably are feeling effects of the K. 

[[Ma...]]

Buddie,  You make it sound like you had a quick easy ride down from your drug.  Are you feeling well,or just making it sound good or us.  Do you sleep?  Are you having musle issues?  Tell us how you really feel now.

 

With all due respect, Garden Lady, if you'd been reading Max's previous posts you would see he absolutely has not had a quick and easy ride. He's battling with another addiction, alcoholism - and according to experts both Klonopin and alcohol have awful w/d. If I had to go through both I would never make it. Max is showing strength, something we all need to have.

 

Also, he states his w/d effects in his signature...check it out.

 

I can understand if misery wants company, but those of us who aren't symptomatic still benefit others here by telling how things have been, and not always how they are.

Actually ignore that. I was typing the reply when she posted at the same time. I saw that too and was like WTF? But she typed it at the same time so it posted below mine.

 

Youtube search "Klonopinkills" Pretty could Vlog about someone getting off. What frieghtens me is when I hear all these horror K stories and what they were taking...........I was taking waaaaay too much Klonopin. :tickedoff:

[[on...]]

Hey All,

 

My doctor dropped my Klonopin from 2mg's to 1mg's while I was in the hospital just like that. I am taking it for petite mal seizures. I seem to be having all the signs of WD. I am having a real hard time here. Between the seizures and all of the side effects of dropping the K I can't distinguish what is what. I am not sure I should even be opening my mouth anymore  . I am having some real depersonalization issues, huge apathy problems, can't eat anything, feel like I have the flu, the twitches, zaps and well the list goes on.

Sleep is another issue, I have these dreams that resemble an acid trip gone bad, it is like I am between being awake and asleep, I can still hear everything going on in the room but I am still somehow asleep. They always involve pain and often death-my own.

 

I have never ever experienced anything like this so I am completely lost.

 

UGHHH..I am trying to force myself to participate in life despite how I feel but I am so unsure of how I am responding and if I my responses are even appropriate I feel like I have been transplanted onto another planet and have a serious learning curve...

 

Thanks for reading,

Hope you all have the best day you can!

[[Ge...]]

That really is a big cut!  I think a lot (maybe most?) people who have to make a cut that large would have these withdrawal issues.  I'm so sorry!

[[lo...]]

Thanks for an encouraging words, tablasco. your story really fire me up to keep on fighting! I hope I can doing well and get back on track as soon as you.

 

 

 

[[pl...]]

Hi there,

I am new to the forums and am still tapering off klonopin. I was on it for about four years at 2-2.5mg a day. I am down to .5 a day currently. I briefly went off in 2010 for about five months but "relapsed" I guess you could say. I never really considered myself addicted until about two or three weeks ago when my boyfriend of six years told me he didn't remember what I was like sober. That really hit a nerve so to speak and I had the horrid realization that I was addicted to klonopin.

I guess I was in denial about why I used the drug for so long and how it no longer even had an anti-anxiety effect, I just needed to take them. I feel horridly stupid for even taking them to start with; I don't know what I was thinking! Addiction runs in my family (alcohol, cocaine, heroin) but I never took a closer look at my habits  ...

I am trying to do my best during this tapering off period. Physically and mentally it has been very hard and I am trying to deal with my chronic anxiety as naturally as possible instead of popping pills.

It is frightening to read how long it has taken people to recover, but I know every person is different. Even making the decision to go off has given me a sense of empowerment over my situation. Currently my withdrawal symptoms have been horrible nausea, confusion, dizziness, headaches, shaking, and anxiety (of course!). How long have these symptoms persisted for others?

Has anyone else had difficulty with recovery and life stressors? For me, I'm home for the summer, and am dealing with family and relationship issues, which is making recovery even worse - it has made me realize why people go to detox or recovery! Somewhere tranquil and removed from the "real world".

Anyway, that is just my little introduction. I hope everyone is doing well and look forward to connecting.

 

 

[[on...]]

That really is a big cut!  I think a lot (maybe most?) people who have to make a cut that large would have these withdrawal issues.  I'm so sorry!

 

Thanks Genoa,

I was thinking that was an awfully large jump. I am not sure what to do. The seizures complicate things. I go see my nuero in two weeks. I would like to be off the Klonopin but I know my nuero will only substitute another med in its place. I really believe that if I can get my life to where it has less stressors in it and is more balanced I would have better seizure control. Not sleeping and not being able to eat right certainly does not help things along...

People are right when they say this hell. I am so confused...

 

[[to...]]

Max, i never took nearly that much but, when I was dealing with the miserable wd's from K I had no urge to drink.  When i was on it I always wanted a drink.  I remeber thinking (during wd)  why bother trying to drink I already have the most "horrendous hangover"... I felt so miserably hungover despite never touching a drop of alcohol.  Strange how our minds work.  i also thought i might ahve a heart attack if I had a hangover over on top of wd....Just an observation, Jess

 

Jessica

 

Good observation. That bad feeling in my head is like an alcoholic hangover.

 

[[Ge...]]

I guess I was in denial about why I used the drug for so long and how it no longer even had an anti-anxiety effect, I just needed to take them. I feel horridly stupid for even taking them to start with; I don't know what I was thinking! Addiction runs in my family (alcohol, cocaine, heroin) but I never took a closer look at my habits  ...

 

Pease don't be too hard on yourself!  I'm speaking from personal experience.  Addiction also runs strong in my family, so I've been extremely vigilant and worried about a possible addiction to benzos (or even a medical person thinking I might be addicted).

 

I would bring it up with my psychiatrist every time we made a change in klonopin or Xanax dosage.  She constantly reassured me that I wasn't an addict, that's had nothing to worry about.

 

But after a lot of soul-searching and web surfing, I realized that I am addicted, and I want to be off.

 

It's so easy for people like us to beat ourselves up. "I should have known better!"  "I knew what addiction looked like, so how could I fall into this trap."  "I'm such an idiot!"

 

Bah!  We're here, we're taking steps to take control back over our emotional and physical health, and we want the best for ourselves and our loved ones.  So I give you big applause.  Keep at it! 

[[to...]]

I guess I was in denial about why I used the drug for so long and how it no longer even had an anti-anxiety effect, I just needed to take them. I feel horridly stupid for even taking them to start with; I don't know what I was thinking! Addiction runs in my family (alcohol, cocaine, heroin) but I never took a closer look at my habits  ...

 

Pease don't be too hard on yourself!  I'm speaking from personal experience.  Addiction also runs strong in my family, so I've been extremely vigilant and worried about a possible addiction to benzos (or even a medical person thinking I might be addicted).

 

I would bring it up with my psychiatrist every time we made a change in klonopin or Xanax dosage.  She constantly reassured me that I wasn't an addict, that's had nothing to worry about.

 

But after a lot of soul-searching and web surfing, I realized that I am addicted, and I want to be off.

 

It's so easy for people like us to beat ourselves up. "I should have known better!"  "I knew what addiction looked like, so how could I fall into this trap."  "I'm such an idiot!"

 

Bah!  We're here, we're taking steps to take control back over our emotional and physical health, and we want the best for ourselves and our loved ones.  So I give you big applause.  Keep at it! 

 

Genoa

 

There is a difference between addiction and dependance. Addiction is behavioral, whereas dependance is physiologic.

[[Ge...]]

I know.  I almost mentioned it in the post. But at least for me, the very root of the word (addict…ion) sets off anxiety.  My point was that however we see it, it's too easy to beat ourselves up.

[[on...]]

Currently my withdrawal symptoms have been horrible nausea, confusion, dizziness, headaches, shaking, and anxiety (of course!). How long have these symptoms persisted for others?

Has anyone else had difficulty with recovery and life stressors? For me, I'm home for the summer, and am dealing with family and relationship issues, which is making recovery even worse - it has made me realize why people go to detox or recovery! Somewhere tranquil and removed from the "real world".

 

Hey plasticfigurine,

 

Oh WD has been hell these past 5 weeks! I do not even recognize myself anymore! It seems as though any stress is hard to handle and everything is stress! Lights, noise, cars, food,voices, even getting up in the morning is a huge deal! Literally my first few weeks home I did not leave the bed except to shower and even then I had to make myself. This has effected all my relationships. Partly because I cannot handle them and they cannot handle me. Finally this week I decided I could not keep doing this anymore. I have made myself get up and do things. It is hard every day is a struggle. I wondered why on earth I kept waking up the next morning. I am trying to give myself a goal being without a purpose is hard. Last year I had a good job, I was a hard worker etc. this year I am falling apart, doing my hair is a major event! I can barely keep a conversation going. If I make it through this I can make it through anything. I am slowly trying to get back in life. Paying bills, doing laundry, cooking even though I do not eat, going out for a few hours even though I cannot relate to anyone right now. Trying to keep things pretty simple though. It would be really easy to just stay holed up in one room and never go out but as it is I have become pretty anti-social and I do not want to continue down that road.

So yes it is very hard to go through this and deal with things in the "real world"

I hope you get to feeling better very soon!

 

[[to...]]

Only4

 

You are not alone in your crushing fatigue and apathy. These are hallmarks of BWD. I convey to you my best wishes. I think things will settle down for you soon. The last milligram might be tougher.

[[on...]]

Hey Tortoise,

 

Thank you, it has sure thrown me for a loop! I pray I get my life back at some point. It is sure hard to any light at the end of this tunnel right now.

[[ja...]]

Plasticfigurine,

 

I feel like you're repeating my story - my full story about addiction and recovery is under Success Stories and it's pretty horrific. It's how the addiction permeated my life over a 20 year period and how I lost everything. Check it out if you want.

 

The thing that resonated the most with what you just wrote was the sense of empowerment I had over this thing, back in May when I made the decision to get off the K. I rode on that through all of my withdrawal symptoms. My doctor offered to reinstate at least 4 times and it took all the strength I had to say no.

 

As far as people not understanding, absolutely. Especially the doctors who looked at me cross-eyed when I told them I wanted to get off. I didn't think too much about it until I was already off and in retrospect the first few days were the easiest! But the suffering brought me to my knees.

 

The good news is, it got better. Slowly. A 2-step forward, 1-step back thing. I'd think I was getting over it, and then I wasn't. I was seeing a social worker who specialized in addiction at the time and he said that I would just be uncomfortable for a while. That actually helped - to look at this horrible withdrawal as simply discomfort that would get better in time.

 

I think everything finally went away at about 2 1/2 months (except for minor muscle twitches in my right leg, which I still have). My head stopped feeling like it was on a spring, and that was the last thing to go. I also have a play-by-play here in my progress log, each day and how it felt.

 

Just keep that empowerment. Keep fighting! We are here for you.

[[Ga...]]

I took started lorazepam in may and they gave me some klon at that time for 3 days.  I had some pills left and took them one here and there a few other times.  Then stayed on the lorazepam.  then I started trying to quit the lorazepam and would take 1mg, then 1/2mg, then go without for a few day.  I didn't realize i was hooked and was in w/d for a couple months. 

So, I finally went to the DR.  He put me back on Klon.  I started last night. I went from .75 lorazepam to .5 klon.  What a terrible night.  leg jerks, body jerks, no sleep, a feeling of electricity running through me.  My gut is on fire and feels like someone wrung it out.  Is there any chance I can go back to the lorazepam at this  point or has the one pill got me locked in?  this benzo thing got hold of me before I even knew what was happening.  I'm sure most of you were the same way.  Doctors should know more about what they dispense.

[[re...]]

Hey -

 

It was from this web site that I finally figured out, after two prior attempts to get off of clonazepam (in each case I was slammed by symptoms so bad and so bizarre they drove me straight back to the medication), that I was just going to have to ride it out, no matter how hellish.  I had been taking 1mg every 24 hours, from which I did a pretty rapid taper (.75-.5-.25, a few days only on each dose, and taking the med. only every 24 hours), and each time I stopped completely I would get hit by withdrawal symptoms some 36-48 hours out from the last dose I took.  The symptoms were anxiety through the roof (to the point of panic), insomnia like you read about, weird and disconcerting all-over body pain (muscles aching, joints sore, a burning sensation under the skin, a bruised feeling in the bones--the doctor, whom I was already beginning to mistrust, told me I had fibromyalgia; he was dead-wrong, and I'm very glad now that I didn't listen to him).  On my third attempt to kick the clonazepam, I took Kavinace (which contains phenibut) for about four nights to help me over the insomnia hump--after that it kind of lost its effectiveness, and I was wary of the stuff anyway, since most all the comments I'd found at BB concerning phenibut were negative.  I tried one or two other over-the-counter medications, but nothing helped much--I sort of just had to get through it.  I had about a week of sheer hell, maybe another three days of moderate hell, and then life began to feel bearable again.  It's now been seventeen days since I last took clonazepam, and I feel very nearly back to normal.  I'm still getting occasional twinges of odd pain or discomfort here and there, and I do think that one complicating factor is an apparent gluten sensitivity that I may have to pay attention to from now on.  I also had hot flashes during withdrawal that I didn't know whether to ascribe to the withdrawal itself or to my time of life, but those have largely cleared up, too.  I tell you all this by way of encouragement--the awfulness of getting off clonazepam DOES pass, it really does.  It's hard to believe, while you're going through it, that it's worth the hell of withdrawal.  But it is.  Hang in there.

 

R 

[[pl...]]

It really helps to receive all the support!!! My sister is also trying to go off klonopin but she has not been on it as long as I have and she lives in another city- we haven't really talked about it but we are both stopping together. I believe she is tapering off more slowly than I am, as we both have different doctors. I know I shouldn't feel stupid, so to speak, about taking the pills but I have the habit of always blaming myself; my boyfriend has tried to reassure me time and time again that I am not stupid and is doing his best to support me... but I don't want to burden him, he doesn't deserve to hear me going on and on about the crap I'm going through, in my opinion. He already put up with four years of me taking the drug, subtly hinting every once and awhile that I should go off some of my medications because he kindly believed I did not need them. And man, what if I had reached that same conclusion earlier?

But over the past two months I have been trying to cut my medications, with the support of my doctor. I was on 300mg of Seroquel XR due to "mood instability" - basically since middle/high school I had huge mood swings that were believed to be bipolar (my transitory diagnosis) until I went for my third diagnosis with a bipolar specialist who believed I suffered more from anxiety/depression mood swings, AKA "we don't exactly know what's wrong with you." But that was two summers ago and I should have gone off some of the medications then - it's an anti-psychotic and hey! I'm don't have psychotic episodes!

The Seroquel made me lethargic as f**k, I gained maybe twenty pounds, and I was generally pretty slim my entire life and it took a huge hit on my self-esteem. I stopped it at the beginning of July and stopped taking my sleeping pills a week or so ago. Without being tied down by so many medications, I feel weirdly free. I was taking my other medication this very morning and was like "Woah! I am only on three medications now!" It was a great feeling! I always turned to prescription medications to fix whatever was going "wrong" in my life. I've probably tried every known anti-depressant, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics.. you name it, I've tried it! But now... minor liberation.

As for the increased sensitivity to sounds and movements etc that some of you mentioned, I am surely experiencing that. I have always been very sensitive to noises my entire life, and now everything feels like the volume is turned up! Unsettling. My fear is that when I go back to college this time next month I am going to be tempted to go back to klonopin. I took it a lot during school because of my long-term anxious reaction due to social phobia (one diagnosis I really do believe in for me!) and this fall quarter, my senior year, will be the first time I've dealt with being in college without klonopin. I can't tell that being away from home again will help or hinder me. My family is generally pretty low-key but things have been kind of crazy this summer and it has actually been the worst summer of my life. I am extremely close to my mom and I missed her terribly when I moved to college and have always come home frequently to visit my parents but as I said, this summer has been toxic. There is tension between my parents, problems with my oldest sister, the lack of privacy I had grown used to... My mom got a puppy (I'm a born-again cat person) and although the dog is sweet, I puppy-sit her a lot and she is causing me a GREAT deal of anxiety. Kind of an odd source of anxiety but I do enjoy the quiet comfort of my cat instead.

But I preserver. Or try to. I am literally forcing myself to go to the gym, something that no longer was part of my routine. I have a trainer (someone my parents set me up with when I was twelve and refused organized sports, and they wanted to keep me in healthy and active) and she is almost more like a friend now after all these years; also an RN. I haven't talked to her about the withdrawal but I might, just to have someone to talk to.

I have very little friends and I think the lack of social support is getting to me, which why talking on here is nice. My best friend lives in San Francisco, a few hours from both my school and our home town, and the very few friends I've made at school went to their respective homes for the summer. I obviously have my boyfriend and my parents but sometimes I don't feel like that is enough for me. I am, once again, very appreciative of the support. It makes me so comforted to know there are people who know exactly how I feel and have made it through the tough times. Thank you 

 

 

[[ja...]]

Plasticfig,

 

300 of Seroquel? Holy crap. I was only on 150 as needed and I would lose the ENTIRE next day  . I found a good substitute in some semi-legal plantlife. 

 

I think you are probably the kind of person who will be an asset to others once you are off the K. Looking forward to that 

 

jaxnj

[[Pe...]]

Hello again, it's been 16 days since I cut back from .50 mg of Klonopin in the morning to .25 mg in the morning, the hell I went through is I believeable! I wonder just what the f.... Is going to happen next. Okay well I got very I'll felt like I was shaking on the inside! Had some nausea, more bothersome is the constant feeling of paranoia and the metal tat ein my mouth. I must say this drug is a bitch to taper off, I am taking the advice of this group and not making huge cuts I bought a pill cutter at Walgreens it's inexpensive and I will be tapering 10 percent every 14 days.

 

Thank you for advising me to cut slowly, I can't handle the withdrawal even at a quarter mg it's the whole weirdness of my mind, I can't explain it. My mindis really off,I have to really focus to do simple things and it sucks. I used to be considered an intelligent person right noe I would consider myself to be quite slow and concentrating on simple tasks.  I really hate this but I a want off this med and I am doing it come he'll or high water!!!

 

I read some of the entries By the others battling Klonopin withdrawal I know now I am not alone and you are some of the kindest people I have ever come arose in my life.

 

To the girl who is on Seroquel my heart is with you. I am very sure they misdiagnosed you it happens all the time! Hang in there. We are all in this together. I wated to post about the pill cutter if you try to split them any other way you get powder.

 

Starting Wednesday I will cut by 10 percent please wish me luck, all of you are in my thoughts we can do this we really can!!