The Klonopin Klub

[[ca...]]

Hello again.

i'm at 14 months now, and lately i've been having anxiety again which of course i thought was all over. but the weird thing is that at the same time i feel like i can see the beauty in the world, i just can't feel it. like i can see things nice, but inside i feel terrible -- i can't enjoy it. anybody else experience this? Mean anything? It's weird.

[[kl...]]

fake sleep fake sleep fake sleep  :tickedoff:

[[Ga...]]

So happy for you Julian.  It must be wonderful to get off that stuff. 

[[Pe...]]

Hello there still trying to navigate through this forum.  I wish I could think like I used to, I am posting this before I take my dose of Klonopin as I am in the taper process, once I take it well I get foggy and cant hold a thought for what seems more than one minute then I'm off to the next thought.

 

My withdrawal symptoms seem to come and go its very strange late afternoon I get all emotional, and when I say emotional I experience every emotion known to the human species! Sadness, anger, I don't give a shit, confusion its a big roller coaster ride. My husband has just now read all the material on benzos and good old Klonopin. He's shocked! He is now beginning to understand just slightly how messed up I am. I would say the obsessive thoughts are the most bothersome right now. I try to divert these thoughts through activities, I have to really, really push myself to get up and function!

 

I am trying very hard to resist the urge to go bak up a quarter milligram again, yesterday I cried for an hour thinking don't do it you've come this far you can't go backwards! I did some breathing excercises and tried mind you I use the word tried to meditate, I am new to meditation so it is not really working for me it does however make me focus on something other than the burning in my right foot, the paranoia, the pains in my head and all the other funny sensations.

 

At one point I started to speak out loud and say " oh yes here we go again, it's withdrawal well get used to it"

 

I find it unbelievable that since I bridged to klonopin since early June of 2012 it has taken such a hold on me after all it's only September.  I keep telling myself I am strong this will pass I will be free from the beast that inhibits my ability to think clearly and then I cry! I try to stay optimistic and at imes I do see the light at the end, but most times it's very cloudy and my optimism is lacking.

 

My current dose is 1mg at bedtime and .25 mg in the morning, I started at 2 mg in June and immediately cut the dose to 1.5 mg the next day since it made me zombie like. My plan today is to spread out my dosing I am going to do the usual quarter milligram in the morning take 0.5 mg in the afternoon, then 1.5 mg at bedtime I don't sleep well and it frightens me to think it will get worse, but I think the afternoon meltdown is due to the gap of in dosing, my husband helped me with the dosing schedule fom the Ashton manual, yes I needed help that's how bad my memory has become from taking the prescribed amount of Klonopin given to me by a healthcare professional!

 

I am jumping all over the place here's what I wanted to say I have purchased a pill cutter, my husband and myself have set up a dosing schedule to cut 1/8 th every 14 days we are purchasing pill boxes to set up each week of course he is helping me as I can't hold a clear thought for more than a minute the cut at 1/4 I made on the 15th of August was too much I am still having withdrawal. The next cut comes September 12th by 1/8 maybe by this time I will be ready for that cut. I am cutting all sugar out of my diet, which is all I crave! I am going to eat a well balanced diet, I work out every day and it really does seem to help, I need to focus hard to work out! My diet needs help, as I stated in my introduction I have no appetite, but I crave sugar since the cut. I have lost 44 kg since the start of Klonopin it did something to my appetite. I can't lose more weight I am not a big person.

 

I am hoping I shared some helpful information to anyone reading this. Stay strong, stay healthy and we all will get through this, keep telling ourself that it does help some.

 

 

14 years on Xanax 0.5 mg 3 and a half to 4 times daily bridged to Klonopin 1 to 2 mg daily cut o 1.25 mg as of August 15, 2012.

[[Li...]]

Happy Sunday to all!

 

I am a first time poster of the klonopin club. Klonopin is a brutal benzo. What is even more brutal is adding it with other vile medications, i.e. ambien. I am approaching my 15th month freedom ride and life is great. For those still tapering and still experiencing hard core sxs, please know it gets easier and more tolerable. Stay the course, you will be so glad you did. When you read where members are still experiencing sxs, please know the sxs are much less intense. When you have a sxs, you recognize what it is and you keep it moving. When you are in the early stages of wd, your brain cannot fathom what is going on. The closer your CNS gets to healing, the more rational you become. You gain your reasoning skills and abilities and see things for what they are. I promise, this is what happens!

 

You are getting close to full recovery, just know it!

 

Take care,

 

Linda

[[Vr...]]

my husband helped me with the dosing schedule fom the Ashton manual, yes I needed help that's how bad my memory has become from taking the prescribed amount of Klonopin given to me by a healthcare professional!

 

I am jumping all over the place here's what I wanted to say I have purchased a pill cutter, my husband and myself have set up a dosing schedule to cut 1/8 th every 14 days we are purchasing pill boxes to set up each week of course he is helping me as I can't hold a clear thought for more than a minute the cut at 1/4 I made on the 15th of August was too much I am still having withdrawal.

 

I know what you're talking about, not being able to hold a thought - it's like trying to write in water.  It took me weeks to figure out how to do some sort of taper - I couldn't complete a thought, let alone a plan of action.  Things got easier when I switched to librium and used a water taper but I'm sure there's a way to taper klonopin.

 

Keep it simple and easy does it.  In fact, just about all the AA or NA slogans apply to benzo withdrawal.  Pittman's book, "Stepping Stones to Recovery", has helped me.  Meditation and exercise are even better but I'm rarely motivated to do either.

 

Hang in there.  I'm glad you have someone who understands and can help you with dosing and withdrawal symptoms.  I'm back to shuttling around the house trying to get organized.  I typically shuffle from the tv to computer and back to the tv, with an occasional peek outside.  3mgs of librium and holding.

 

 

[[re...]]

Hi, folks -

 

Just reading the most recent posts here, and want to offer some random encouragement.  When you're past the worst of this, you may find it hard to recall details of how bad it was--you'll remember it was bad, but perhaps be unable to imagine the actual badness.  Which is just as well.  Who wants to remember a nightmare?  I'm three-and-a-half weeks off claws-in-the-brain clonazepam, haven't taken a benzodiazepine of any kind during that interval.  I took Kavinace initially (a few nights, then stopped), and again one night maybe a week ago to assist with sleep--guess it helped, nothing dramatic.  From time to time I take an OTC capsule with L-Theanine, melatonin, and some herbs (passion flower, etc.); again, it's really hard for me to tell whether it makes any difference.  I'm sleeping mostly *okay* (just okay, not great), with or without these supplements.  But sleeping okay is so much better than not sleeping at all, which is how it was when I was struggling to break free of the clonazepam.

 

You have moments when you feel psychotic.  It's like being possessed or something, isn't it?  I said to my husband once or twice, "I think I need an exorcist to get me off this stuff."  Wouldn't it be nice if more health care professionals really knew how to support their patients through this--or, better yet, were more careful about prescribing these hell-drugs in the first place?  Then maybe we wouldn't be talking about exorcists here.

 

One word about meditation.  It's very hard to get started on your own if you've never really done it.  My sister, longtime Buddhist that she is, told me this when I mentioned to her the difficulty I was having.  "It's much easier if you have the support of a group," she told me sympathetically.  I was lucky enough to find an inexpensive course that was being offered locally very close to the time I felt I needed it, and it was geared toward beginners, or people with minimal experience.  Another resource to look for is places that have open sittings for meditation--if you can find something online, and there's a contact person, it might make sense to call or send e-mail to that person, and ask what the policy is for attending an open meditation session, and perhaps see whether someone could give you a bit of guidance on how to get started.  At any rate, when I started the course I took (it met one night a week, six times altogether), I was still on clonazepam; I began tapering--my third, and finally successful attempt--when I was about two weeks into the course, and I really believe that the fact that I was doing this structured training in mindfulness meditation helped ease the transition off the drug.

 

Please don't lose heart, any of you who are making this effort--it will be worth it, it will, it will, it will.  And freeing yourself is empowering, which is part of the reward.  Hold onto hope!

 

R     

[[fi...]]

Happy Sunday to all!

 

I am a first time poster of the klonopin club. Klonopin is a brutal benzo. What is even more brutal is adding it with other vile medications, i.e. ambien. I am approaching my 15th month freedom ride and life is great. For those still tapering and still experiencing hard core sxs, please know it gets easier and more tolerable. Stay the course, you will be so glad you did. When you read where members are still experiencing sxs, please know the sxs are much less intense. When you have a sxs, you recognize what it is and you keep it moving. When you are in the early stages of wd, your brain cannot fathom what is going on. The closer your CNS gets to healing, the more rational you become. You gain your reasoning skills and abilities and see things for what they are. I promise, this is what happens!

 

You are getting close to full recovery, just know it!

 

Take care,

 

Linda

 

Thanks for the encouragement!

 

Sincerely,

 

fg

[[kl...]]

How is everyone this beautiful labor day weekend?  I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT LAST NIGHT  :D

[[fi...]]

How is everyone this beautiful labor day weekend?  I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT LAST NIGHT  :D

 

Congratulations, Julian!

 

Sincerely,

 

fg

[[re...]]

Seven hours straight!?  I'm envious!  But glad for you.  Sleep is so healing!

 

R

[[ji...]]

Max were you taking 5-10mg of Klonopin? I thought I was winning for highest dose  . Nausea is my biggest symptom too. Dramamine has helped me, but it is just a temporary fix. Last night was one of those wake up at 2am and no fall back a sleep kind of nights. I think I'm eating too much sugar. I'm going to go back on a hight protein diet.

 

Yeah it was pretty bad. What was happening was for the longest time I would take 4-5 Mg at noon. Then the later years I would take another 3 more at night. Towards the end I was such a raging Alcoholic and when I would come off a bender I would take 8-10 mg a day trying to make the shakes go away. Thank God I stopped Alcohol the same time as I stopped the Clonopin. People ask me all the time how I don't drink and how they struggle so much. My thing is that I feel so awful from WD's from K-Pin that the way I felt after a bender I feel if I did it now I would have a heart attack. The feeling I had after drinking was so awful that the thought of enduring that while WDing would be hell!

 

Wow it's sadly amazing how alcohol and benzos become such a twisted mess together; one fueling the other. I was a rageing drunk as well; quit with AA 6 months before I started cutting my Klonopin. I could not do both at once and failed numerous times previously. I'm really not sure how I survived the level of alcohol I was consuming with so much Klonopin built up in my system.

 

I have big news today as I'm Klonopin free as of 8/31/12!!! My last cut was uneventful compared to the rest. Almost like nothing at all when I think back to the beginning. I got rid of the rest of my pills and I'm on to full recovery. I have had really intrusive dreams of alcohol since I took my last pill. It's really annoying!!! Anyone in recovery from alcohol will understand. I'm sneaking booze in the dreams. I'm also having intrusive repetetive thoughts about my first love? Not sure what that is about.

[[re...]]

Congratulations!  Fingers crossed for you that the dreams stop harassing you soon.  Is there anything you can do when you wake up to comfort yourself?  Is there some particular kind of tea or something that you find consoling, or music of some sort . . .  I don't know . . . I'm just thinking of ways to reward yourself for getting through the night despite the intrusive dreams!  Anyway, hang in there--you're on your way to being completely healthy!

 

R

[[De...]]

Has anyone else dropped too quickly - how long did it take you to stabilize?  Do you ever really stabilize?

[[to...]]

Has anyone else dropped too quickly - how long did it take you to stabilize?  Do you ever really stabilize?

 

Once I crased, I stayed crashed until I got off.

[[Pa...]]

I've dropped pretty quickly before.  The first time I tried to come off I cut my

Morning dose in half (from 1mg to .5mg).  I went into a pretty bad spiral.  Once I reinstated the full dose it began to clear up.  Unfortunately my anxiety went into hyperdrive and it was about 4 days before I was sleeping well again (not having constant an anxiety).

 

On Thursday, August 30th I cut out my morning dose entirely.  All I have left is .25mg at night.  The side effects were not the worst I've had, but my anxiety is currently quite high.

 

I'm practicing mindfulness meditation every day and trying to exercise when I can.  Hopefully I'll be able to jump off my night dose later this month.

 

I'm still in good spirits and I'm working full time.  Luckily I haven't lost my job because of this crap.

After I get off the klonopin it's gonna be another long journey to reconcile my existing anxiety.  This time I'm doing it without any drugs.  I have no idea where I'll start.  Maybe that's a story for another forum.

[[to...]]

I've dropped pretty quickly before.  The first time I tried to come off I cut my

Morning dose in half (from 1mg to .5mg).  I went into a pretty bad spiral.  Once I reinstated the full dose it began to clear up.  Unfortunately my anxiety went into hyperdrive and it was about 4 days before I was sleeping well again (not having constant an anxiety).

 

On Thursday, August 30th I cut out my morning dose entirely.  All I have left is .25mg at night.  The side effects were not the worst I've had, but my anxiety is currently quite high.

 

I'm practicing mindfulness meditation every day and trying to exercise when I can.  Hopefully I'll be able to jump off my night dose later this month.

 

I'm still in good spirits and I'm working full time.  Luckily I haven't lost my job because of this crap.

After I get off the klonopin it's gonna be another long journey to reconcile my existing anxiety.  This time I'm doing it without any drugs.  I have no idea where I'll start.  Maybe that's a story for another forum.

 

Wow. You are doing great considering your very vigorous taper. I am impressed. I fell completely apart with a much slower taper. Congrats. You will be a fast healer.

[[De...]]

Pajamaphile - you're doing a pretty quick taper compared to some other forum members.  I hope I'm able to handle a fairly quick taper as well.  I just need to get through this rough spot.  I'm not going to reinstate - I feel that would undo progress.  It's been a week of hell, but if I can get through this, I'll be that much closer.

 

Thank you for your post - it gives me hope that I'll stabilize and move forward quickly.

[[re...]]

I did what I was told by an administrator at this site was probably a too-fast taper off of clonazepam.  I was at 1 mg every 24 hours; the first two times I tried to quit, I went from 1 to a few days at .75, a few days at .5, a few at .25, then off.  The third and final time was even more precipitate, in that I jumped off to zero from .5 mg.  It was awful, but only for a week or ten days, after which things started to normalize.  I'm still having odd symptoms here and there, but life is livable again.  Hang in there, friend -

 

R

[[De...]]

Thanks, R.  I really need the reassurance today.  Your quick taper makes me wonder if I could handle it as well, I want to be off this drug so badly, but I've been going through constant withdrawals from one thing or another for over a month now.  I need to slow down and remind myself that as long as I'm moving forward, I'm healing.

 

Has anyone else experience long periods of time where you're not really disassociated, but you don't really feel emotion, either?

[[Pa...]]

Thanks, R.  I really need the reassurance today.  Your quick taper makes me wonder if I could handle it as well, I want to be off this drug so badly, but I've been going through constant withdrawals from one thing or another for over a month now.  I need to slow down and remind myself that as long as I'm moving forward, I'm healing.

 

Has anyone else experience long periods of time where you're not really disassociated, but you don't really feel emotion, either?

 

After my drops I get about a week of sxs, and then a solid week or two (sometimes more) of a melancholy feeling.  I'm disconnected and not very emotional, but I feel blue.  It's not depression and it clears up once I get back into my normal routine and take my mind off...my mind.  It's been there through all my cuts, and when it lifts I know it's time to cut again.

[[ji...]]

Has anyone else dropped too quickly - how long did it take you to stabilize?  Do you ever really stabilize?

 

I have and needed to go back up and try again because I was afraid it would never go away. I was afraid I was going to drink so it was the lesser evil I guess. The second time around I never went above a 30% cut and it seemed to reverse itself when I went back and tried again so that's always an option if you think you went too fast.

[[De...]]

Jillian - how are you feeling after making the jump?

 

I think I am beginning to stabilize.  A window opened up last night and hasn't completely closed.  I'm certainly not asymptomatic - I wouldn't trust myself to drive anywhere and I don't have the motivation to do much of anything, but I'm feeling more like myself.

[[re...]]

Hi, Deinoncote -

 

That window-opening-up thing happened with me, too, and it was the beginning of the turnaround, so maybe you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel?  When I first posted, Betsy, one of the administrators here, very kindly wrote and told me that my taper had been pretty fast, and that I might want to consider going back on and tapering more slowly, if I was having a lot of trouble.  I WAS having a lot of trouble, but I'd been off the stuff for two or three days, and I SO BADLY didn't want to go back on it again, as I'd done two times before.  So I stuck it out.  It was around day eight when I felt as though the claws began to loosen their grip, and I might start to be OK again.  And things got better from then on.  It wasn't a completely linear progression, and from what I've been reading at this site, that is often the case: you have ups and downs, and you'll experience what feel like setbacks.  I'm still having those, but they aren't anywhere near bad enough to make me want to go back on a benzodiazepine, or any other mind-altering prescription medication.

 

Anyway, I think you can do it--I KNOW you can do it.  If you can, try to find ways to pamper yourself (healthful ways, preferably; some kinds of indulgence may impede your withdrawal process, of course).  You'll get through it, you truly will.

 

R

[[De...]]

R-

 

Congratulations on being benzo-free for one month!