The Klonopin Klub

[[Sk...]]

I just want this to be done with.  I am willing to suffer the withdraws for a faster rate.  I mean,.. 0.125mg down every 2 weeks is not that large of a dose reduction.

[[Mo...]]

Sky, it is clearly not possible for someone to know how fast you should go but just as another data point, I started at .25 weekly and then .25 every 2 weeks and ended up at .125 every 2 weeks for my cuts. Looking back I would say .25 weekly was too fast for me. I did it and it caught up to me after 3 cuts. The first 2 weeks of cutting I was 90% I would say, but that 3rd and 4th week was a definite crash. After I switched to .25 every 2 weeks I noticed a fairly reliable pattern form. First 2 days after cutting was barely noticeable, then the period from 3-10 days after the cut I would get the hit pretty hard. Then it would start to settle just in time for the next cut. So im not a doctor or a specialist but my personal wisdom to anyone who asked me how fast should they go if they want off quick would be .25 every 2 weeks max. Do people survive going faster? Of course. Is it worth the risk? Not in my opinion. Will going slower make it easier? Probably. But hey follow your heart. Whatever you decide is right.

 

Did a little study on my rapid heart rate today. Turns out to be more of a discomforting feeling than anything else. Taking my heart rate when i dont feel notice it and when it feels rapid I noticed it wasn't really that fast. Normally I sit 70-75 bpm, and when I was feeling like it was going crazy it was 85bpm. That is an increase it felt like it was going extremely fast. So its more of a heavy thumping heart that is just a little accelerated instead of a true rapid heart beat. Doesn't make me feel any better but it's just a fact I came across. A pointless fact, but a fact none the less lol. Digestive issues hold the #1 spot for another day. Indigestion, heartburn, a little regurgitation occur while hungry or full. Pepto is a good product but im tired of drinking it every 2 hours.

[[Sk...]]

Thanks, Mogeii!  Much appreciated.

[[re...]]

Good morning, folks -

 

Because of the way I did it, I really can't credibly advise anyone on how to taper.  I went MUCH too fast (see my signature), but didn't understand that I had sabotaged myself until I had jumped for the third time, and I just wanted that to be the jump that "took."  So I forged ahead, rather than reinstate and try a slower taper.  I have no way of measuring how high a price I paid for that; the fact that I had been on clonazepam for a relatively short time and at doses no higher than 1mg every 24 hours may have mitigated against the worst of the withdrawal symptoms, but for a few weeks there it definitely wasn't fun.  What I'm going to do now is list the symptoms that, at eight months out after my too-rapid taper, have gotten distinctly better, and those that are still persistently or intermittently plaguing me.  Here we go with better-to-virtually-gone:

 

Insomnia--not gone, but only intermittent, and responsive to tactics like sleep-mask

Anxiety--I am an anxious person anyway--current anxiety feels routine, not scary

Joint pain--not gone, but I no longer feel arthritic, and have got strength and mobility back

Balance--totally restored

Mental focus--this was never much affected for me, but it's better now than it was

Anhedonia --there was no pleasure to be found in anything; now there's a lot!

Bone pain--not gone, but no longer acute

 

Still bothering me, though not unmanageably for the most part:

 

Muscle pain--this is relatively new; sort of picked up where the joint pain left off, but I'm optimistic, and also conscious of foods (caffeine, alcohol, gluten, etc.) that may aggravate the pain

Tinnitus--don't like it, of course, but can live with it--it's constant, though volume fluctuates

Depression--hits occasionally, but may also be partly food-driven, so I watch that

 

That's about it, folks.  I'm offering this list in the hope that it may give people a sense that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and also that even partial healing can feel like a huge blessing, making you feel more optimistic about the rest of the process.

 

DMW, when you can, let us know how Thursday went.

 

SkyZ, I agree with Dave that, whatever plan you decide on, you should stay with it.  We're here!

 

Movie I, how's it going for you a couple days out from jumping?

 

Wishing windows to all -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[re...]]

Mogeii, I'm sorry--I just read your post more carefully, and you do give a progress report!  Sounds pretty much on par--hang in there and keep us posted!

 

 

[[ja...]]

HANG IN THERE SKY...PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE...STICK TO THE PLAN, STICK TO THE PLAN, STICK TO THE PLAN!

 

Dave

 

P.S.(by the way, did I say STICK TO THE PLAN!?!  )

Thanks.  I will.  I am getting people on here telling me that 0.125mg down every 2 weeks is too fast!  I tried titration and that made me feel horrible.  Really?  Is 0.125mg an extremely high dose to cut at?  I think not.  My doctor was going to cut 1mg a week!!  That's just 2 weeks and done.  So to take almost a year to taper, I think is not a bad idea.  Someone please back me up here.

 

 

Sky,

 

You are fine at .125. Just make sure to hold for 14 -17 days, nothing less. Once you get down to 1.25 mg's of K you might have to cut slower. That is my plan. I usually get hit hard on a cut at around the 8th day. Be patient and you will win this f...ing war.

[[Sk...]]

Thanks, Jake!  I had a bout of terrible morning anxiety this morning.  But it went away pretty quickly.  I hope it doesn't get worse as I make more cuts.  I don't know how much of this my body can take.  My poor heart.  It keeps beating fast.  I was thinking a high grade magnesium supplement might help,.. or if it is cortisol stress response,.. I can intake more vitamin c.  Thank you call for being there for me.  At this point I just really really hope I will get through this without having to ask doctor to do a valium crossover or to start micro tapering again, which was a brutal nightmare.  :'(    !!

!! If I had only not taken that first pill !!

 

-SZ-

[[Oc...]]

Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for your responses! Rek - I'm glad you're mostly better, really. The noise thing is really starting to kick in with me.

 

Today is my first day of another cut - jumping from being 10 days on .375 to .25 a day. That's a quarter pill in the morning, and a quarter at night. Roughly 12 hours apart, I really like to keep this drug spaced. I think that's better for cutting in the long run, for anyone.

 

The anxiety of cutting is in, of itself, horrendous. I, too, have been alright with the first 1-3 days, but afterwards, the taper really begins to hit me hard. And I simply do what I must - persevere! The palpitations, the freaking out, the mind tricks, the aches and pains. Anyone experience massive fatigue? If I didn't know my body any better, I'd say I had a hidden infection somewhere inside!

 

As a means to overall better myself and find balance in my life, I've also tapered from unhealthy foods and have been going the vegetarian route. I am loathe to give up cheese, but I find it's for the best. Just to think - you don't have to go hungry. You can eat as MUCH as you want! So long as it's the right stuff. Brussel Sprouts, Sweet Potatoes, Kale, Ginger & Turmeric, Zuchinni, Nuts, Fruits and Berries. Lots of Spices! The list goes on. I'll be quiet - I suppose I'm not advocating vegan or anything like that - unless you're into that. Just... good, whole, healthy foods. Perhaps it's real, perhaps it's psychological, but eating these foods makes me feel whole'er too! 

 

At any rate, I haven't been having a lot of fun with this but the way I see it, only... 6 more months of immediate suffering? Once I'm off the pills, I think it'll take 3 months of spazzing at least. My sleeps been going down the drain as well. I've never been a light sleeper before, but apparently I am now! I'll be happy to stabilize on .25 mg for like... a month. I'm really planning on it, there's just no way I don't need a "break", so to speak, to heal. Gosh only knows what this next cut's going to do to me - and I'm pushing it. I have to. :<

 

P.S. - Sky, hang in there! <3 Only your body can tell you what's really a big cut or not, listen to it, but not too hard! It'll also tell you a lot of other crap, that may only exacerbate how bad these withdrawal symptoms are! I have such profound faith in your ability to ride this out.

[[Sk...]]

Thank You, Octopii.

 

Day 4 of dose reduction.  That damn morning anxiety hit me again.  Then it was over.  The rest of the day was alright.  I can say I have made it 4 days.  That is 4 whole days.  10 days until my next dose reduction and I will be down to 1.75mg! 

[[ja...]]

Hey SkyZ - 4 days! I know how much that means to you, I know  You will do it this time, I feel it!

 

I just want you guys to know that even though I don't comment on everyone's post, I read all of them - I really do. Every day, usually twice a day. I am right with you guys on your struggles and triumphs. I've known some of you the better part of a year, and that in itself is so terrific - to be with you through all of it. I've seen some of you taper all the way to the end - I've seen c/t people rise up and conquer that nastiness. I am really with you, KK of the BB.

 

It's been a good couple of days for the Jaxnj family. I start work on May 1 (exactly 3 weeks before my 1-year anniversary off the Klonopin), the pay is good and I don't think my boss wears leggings and sequined tank tops to work  (my last boss did!) Sometimes, I can't believe that despite the economy, I have always managed to find work. Not bad stuff either, always a solid living wage. I guess my theory is that I just don't listen to people who say I can't do something. If someone says you can't, I just inwardly laugh at them. Of course I can. Duh.

 

Like - this reminds me of so many doctors we know: I get a call from a temp agency interested in placing me. I go there and sit down with the rep (suspiciously wearing leggings and some little clingy sweater-dress, meow), and the first thing she says to me is, "There is no work." Well...ok. In my mind, I'm laughing. And I got a job 2 days later. Moral of the story is - just don't listen to "no". Ever. If someone tells you that you can't do something, set out to prove them wrong - because you know better!

 

Yesterday my husband and I found the sweetest apartment ever - my new job is a trek from where we live now. Currently we live in a one-bedroom with absolutely no bells or whistles. It's been a desire of mine to move south and west into the true center of NJ - so calm, woodsy, pretty. So we found one. It's a 2-bedroom with twice the square footage of our current apartment, with a large balcony, a dishwasher (we've never had one), beautiful landscaping - so much there. A smidge more than we're paying now. Like $50 per month. In the tri-state area in our current town, a super-good rent probably starts at $1150 for a 1-bedroom. We found our new gem for $1225, which here is pretty much unheard of for a 2-bedroom. I don't listen to anyone who says something is impossible. Ever.

 

So in light of my job starting soon, we're going on vacation for 3 days to Atlantic City starting today. Lest you think it's all about gambling, it's not. We made reservations for tomorrow night at a Japanese restaurant at the Borgata, and I booked a spa treatment at the Red Door Salon for tomorrow. The Jaxnj couple does vacation right!

 

The best thing - the very best thing - about being unemployed is the absolute privilege of being able to watch the Spring emerge. Stark branches are budding - what a miracle. It's my first complete Spring off Klonopin in 20 years, and the world is so amazing.

 

Hugs and windowful days to all!

 

jaxy

 

[[re...]]

What a fantastic message, Jax--your new apartment sounds like the perfect nest: well done!  Meanwhile, have a WONDERFUL trip to Atlantic City!  We used to go there kind of regularly (one of our credit card-point-system thingies gave us occasional free hotel nights; not anymore, but it was fun while it lasted) when our son was a baby, and just wander the boardwalk, dip our toes (and his toes) in the ocean, or whatever.  No gambling--just hanging out.  So have a blast!

 

SkyZ, Octopii, et al.--I hope the day goes well for you.  You're making progress--keep that firmly in mind!  Octo, WELL DONE on the food regimen, that's excellent.  As for the massive fatigue, oh yes--definitely, though it was hard for me to gauge how much it was a symptom in itself and how much a by-product of the sleep problems.  At any rate, it gets better.  Hang in there!

 

Lovely spring day--I hope you folks can enjoy it.  And speaking of enjoy, NJoy, I hope you are doing OK!

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[Tw...]]

Hey K Club!

 

So I've been MIA for the last week, but have to tell you I'm still in a good window! Now it seems the waves seem to hit further apart. I still have heart palps quite abut, but considering what I came through, I'll take it. Most notable now, no depression, fog mostly gone, STM much better, no aches or pains, sleep better, but not great.

 

So I decided to check in this morning and see how everyone was and to say thank you for your continued support. Without this forum, I'd have truly gone crazy!

 

Oh, I almost forgot! I started a business! It's a music, dance and training studio! Grand Opening May 1. I went from getting the ax a month ago, to starting my own business!

 

I have also stopped two friends from taking benzos.

 

Please eat healthy, drink lots of water, excersize, and keep up the posting, it's good for the soul!

 

Power the the peaceful! ~ Tweak

 

 

[[du...]]

Just updating progress from early stages of K taper.  Nasty flu knocked me out for over a week, and a side-product of that is I cut out drinking. Even though I haven't been drinking much, that seems to have had a stabilizing effect.  I also increased back up to .625 and have been very consistent, no more, no less - and have been sleeping well.

 

Perhaps most importantly, I am seeing a new doctor who actually knows about Klonopin w/d so am hoping that he will be able to provide better support.  My only concern is that he seems med-oriented in his approach (said he had started more people on K than he has weaned off).

 

Between flu subsiding, stabilization of symptoms, reasonable nighttime sleep, a plan of action, and spring finally arriving in NYC, I am feeling better and more hopeful than is a long time.

[[Sk...]]

good job on your taper, duckey!

 

Tweak:  Way to go on the new business!  I sing and want to be an actor.  I will be perusing that soon, heck,.. why not now?!  Why wait for over a year to have my life back.  Withdraw doesn't have to take my life and dreams from me.

 

Rek:  Thanks for the continued support.  You always remember ne.

 

Jax:  You have your life back and are such a strong person.  Looks like you appreciate life so very much.  Life is so precious.  You inspire me to live it up too!    I know it must feel amazing and like God is smiling on you now that you get to experience life without klonopin in so long. 

 

I will not give up and I will keep moving forward,.. even if I have to hold a dose,.. no more up dosing.  I have mad eup my mind.  If I keep moving forward.. this withdraw will be behind me sooner than I think and I will appreciate life so much more.  I can't wait.  Surely the good will and is coming out of the bad.  My God never gives up on me.  

 

-SkyZone-

 

 

[[da...]]

Hi guys,Klonopin is a beast, right now i am 4 months out and i am doing better but still i suffer a lot 24/7,I read the Richardson story from the other website and he got better just out of the blue after 13 months,is it really a magic number for people who was on klonopin?

[[Sk...]]

It is a beast, but a best that can and will be slain!  I suffer at tiems too, almost 24/7, but I know that it will be over one day as long as I stick to a taper plan and keep moving forward and not backwards.

 

-SZ-

[[aw...]]

Hey, Tweak:

 

I had palps before I started tapering ['tho not before I started using] but they are worse now. Do you think that they're 'just' another sx of w/d and will return to normal as I do? I notice that a lot of buddies seem to have them.

 

Wide windows to you,

 

Aweigh

[[Sk...]]

Wide windows to you as well, Aweigh!

 

Today was manageable, with heart palps and anxiety,  Nothing I can't handle or that is going to kill me.  So I keep on moving forward.  It is Day 5 of my dose reduction and I have an incredible amount of support and will power and determination this time.  Tomorrow is another day.  I hope the vitamin c I bought will help with the anxiety and stress hormones that might be causing my heart to beat irregular and fast.  I can't stand the heart symptoms.  Best of Luck to you all!

 

-SZ-

[[aw...]]

Sky:

 

"I can't stand the heart symptoms...Today was manageable, with heart palps and anxiety". So you do manage them, and they're intolerable. Boy, can I relate to that!  :'( I'm going to try meditation the next time my heart goes weird...just sit down right then, middle of the road, whatever, and center and breath. It works for NJoy...who should be back soon. Let's bake her a cake 

 

Aweigh

[[Sk...]]

Let's bake her a cake 

[[re...]]

Good morning, friends -

 

To SkyZone, Aweigh, and others in this situation--I was lucky enough never to have the heart symptoms, but I will say I'm a great fan of breathing: long, slow, deep breaths. The great thing is that, no matter what, IT CAN'T HURT YOU, and if it helps then so much the better.  I think it does slow your metabolism down a bit, so it stands to reason it might ease the heart palpitations. 

 

SkyZ, just a word about supplements.  I think some people find that they help, or at least don't hurt, but for others they seem to "rev up" symptoms.  So monitor as closely as you can what happens when you take the C.  The general wisdom seems to be that, as much as possible, it's best to get your nutrition from wholesome food.  But there are definitely those who like supplements, so see how it goes--and keep up the good work!

 

Darek, you're four months out, and that's EXCELLENT.  I know how hard it can still be.  You'll make it!

 

Tweak, your own business, that's fantastic! 

 

And Ducky, so glad you are feeling better now! 

 

A "windowful" day to all -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[Tw...]]

Aweigh,

 

Yes the heart palpable suck and are most definitely a sx of withdrawel! I've had them before, but never like this and so often! They are usually there when I wake up, and so many times throughout the day. Sometimes Inderal helps, sometimes not. I also agree taking deep breaths def helps! I often visualize the breath traveling through various parts of the stomach.

 

I also still get bad night sweats, like I can actually feel the sweat leaving my body, strange.

 

But the worst of it seems to really be behind me. I really feel better all of the time, do the current sx are doable:-)

 

Big windows to all...

 

~ tweak

[[Ju...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I am still feeling optimistic at this latest attempt to taper, but I know it is early days yet. If there is anyone out there thinking that reinstating is the solution, I really encourage you to take a walk around the block, a day, a week... some time to think about it (but I'm not a doctor- disclaimer!). I was all the way down to 0.375 last month and then the insomnia just got the better of me and I went back up to 1 mg. While it did get me sleeping again, I feel more foggy, headachy and physically "off" than I ever did before. I think every time I have gone back on this stuff it has worked less well and taken more out of me. This time I think I can do it because I have built in some more support (including benzobuddies). I also went and bought those weekly pill cases so I can cut up my pills once a week and not have to stress about it every day, plus it helps me not worry if I have missed a dose (since my memory seems so unreliable these days!).

 

Take care and JustKeepSwimming 

[[Sk...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I am still feeling optimistic at this latest attempt to taper, but I know it is early days yet. If there is anyone out there thinking that reinstating is the solution, I really encourage you to take a walk around the block, a day, a week... some time to think about it (but I'm not a doctor- disclaimer!). I was all the way down to 0.375 last month and then the insomnia just got the better of me and I went back up to 1 mg. While it did get me sleeping again, I feel more foggy, headachy and physically "off" than I ever did before. I think every time I have gone back on this stuff it has worked less well and taken more out of me. This time I think I can do it because I have built in some more support (including benzobuddies). I also went and bought those weekly pill cases so I can cut up my pills once a week and not have to stress about it every day, plus it helps me not worry if I have missed a dose (since my memory seems so unreliable these days!).

 

Take care and JustKeepSwimming 

 

Hey!  I love your signature.  Oh, No.  We must go through it. 

 

-SZ-

[[re...]]

You're right, SkyZ, JKS's "We have to go through it!" is a great line.  If only there were a way over/under/around . . .