WHAT TO EXPECT

[Guest [...]]

Jane

 

you know what go me through seriously go out into the withdrawal thread and the intro's taking the focus off and helping others got me through im so grateful for it.

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [ja...]]

where do i go sorry i dont get it

[Guest [...]]

Jane

 

if you go to the front of the forum you know where it says introductions or withdrawal and recovery part if you go in there i used to check out what others had posted and then i would go there and give them some encouragment see if you can do that sometimes i felt that helping others i for a minute forgot about how dreadful i was feeling

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [ja...]]

of the c/t section?

[Guest [...]]

no click on home first ok

 

then read down you will see titles look at introductions and then underneath that you will see withdrawal and recovery section

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [ja...]]

i cant find it

[Guest [...]]

Jane

 

you know where you go to start a new thread but not in the c/t section its there.

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [ja...]]

update it so i can find it lol

[Guest [...]]

hey when Challis comes back she will post the links cos i dont know how to do it lol.

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [ja...]]

oh ok lol

whats the title

[[ma...]]

Hello Jane

 

Your doing great girl you have come through a lot...well done to you i am just posting a link to the home page

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php  all the boards are here, introduction, w/d & recovery etc

 

http://www.graphicsgrotto.com/animatedgifs/flowers/images/agflowers21.gif

 

Love

 

Magrita

[[ve...]]

Hi Jane,

Don't feel pressured to stick this out.  If you are unable to function, at risk of becoming homeless, depressed and/or have very intense withdrawal, you are still at a point where reinstatement can help.  I found a doctor who reinstated me and it made a huge difference.  The agitation and anxiety dropped within a day or two and the dizziness and vertigo were gone within two or three days. That was my experience.  Yes, some who reinstate have a rougher time or need a larger dose to stabilize.  Maybe I was lucky.  On the other hand, within about two months, I became tolerant and did updose a bit before I began my 10 month taper off.  Some will argue that by adding the ten months and then still having 3-6 months of withdrawal to deal with, why not just gut it out here.  There are some who opt for riding out the c/t while others feel that reinstatement is a better choice for them.  It's really up to you and your doctors what you feel is best.  There should be no guilt either way.  It's your decision.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[Ch...]]

Vertigo,

 

Jane has been accepted into a yearlong program that starts in a few days that provides housing, job training and therapy.  They require the participants to be clean of any drugs. 

 

She's made it 23 days now so we're hoping for the best so she can take advantage of this wonderful and rare opportunity.

 

Challis 

[[fr...]]

I've got that too.  I wake up with a different song just stuck in my head everyday.  Today it was The Cutter by Echo & the Bunnymen.  Although annoying, it does help to replace the other racing thoughts in my head like why is my career circling the drain and doesn't my wife love me anymore, and why why me!!!!??  Ahhhh.

 

I'm sure this will pass.  Just wanted to let you know you're not alone -- and I wanted to whine a bit too.

 

FTS

[Guest [ja...]]

at least we know we arent the only ones 

 

[[ro...]]

Vertigo,

 

Jane has been accepted into a yearlong program that starts in a few days that provides housing, job training and therapy.  They require the participants to be clean of any drugs. 

 

She's made it 23 days now so we're hoping for the best so she can take advantage of this wonderful and rare opportunity.

 

Challis 

 

Benzos are considered drugs in this situation? I find that pretty ridiculous, but not shocking in light of the amount of persecution of people taking a benzo (usually by a doctor ironically).

 

This almost feels like a reunion since I haven't spoken to Lizzy and Vertigo in awhile. They both give very good advice and really the cost benefit analysis has to be made by everyone personally. Yes, waiting can sometimes get one through (not speaking from personal experience, waiting in my case is the REASON i'm so screwed due to some sort of kindling effect). I suppose a bigger question is why was the benzo stopped in the first place? One problem that I have with this site (and others in similar positions have expressed this too elsewhere) is that it tends to lean towards one point of view holding Ashton's observations (which royally screwed me) as gospel. That is -- it is not rational to go backwards. I've read a LOT of cases where people reinstated to do a slow taper and it saved their lives. That's not to say BB isn't helpful. It is supportive...for those who chose to go in one direction. Vertigo gave me some interesting perspectives earlier this year about going up before coming down so it's nice to see some posts like that. Again, everyone is different, including their response to the medication. For example I have had zero, zip, nada negative effects from a high dose of clonazepam for years. Some people take 0.5 and think if (rightly in their case) to be poison. It reallllly differs from person to person and it makes sense due to the genetic variability of not only receptor abundance, but response profiles and network dynamics.

 

Lizzy, it is AWESOME to hear that you are recovering and you sound very positive in your posts. It can't have been very long that you got off the 2.5V so it's surprising to me that you're feeling so great already. Your case is an example of how Jane should stick it out cuz I can attest to the fact that you were suffering that much with a similar situation.

 

Then again, my own experience has been that disrupting the GABA system and then not correcting it within a certain timeframe can cause long drawn out problems. Lizzy and Vertigo know my story, but basically after a new doc who didn't understand a chronic condition that I have forced me to cut a perfectly working dose, I've been in almost 6 months of despair even AFTER recently going back to that original dose. It's been a bit over 3 weeks since I returned to that dose and I'm still f'd in the head where previously my health was golden and I've basically lost hope of getting my life back just when I'm at the most crucial point in my life (due to an anti-bezo attitude and lack of information by this new doctor). So, that's an argument that IF you're going to reinstate, it's better to do it sooner than later, but I know what a dirty word reinstate is around here. I really wish it weren't, it prevents discussion of methods to actually decrease the time of suffering.

 

I suppose Challis makes a good case for sticking it out now that you're down in a fiery ring of hell, the logic there being that it's only going to get better. While I have mixed feelings about that, it's true that most people on this board have gone through similar events (statistically though we must recognize that the sample is biased towards this POV though). My only concern is that I do believe in the linear healing philosophy just because that's how our physiology works. If you get a papercut, it will heal. If you cut off your arm, it won't grow back. So ultimately you have to judge just how much you've kicked your GABA system in the nuts. Like Vertigo said, don't feel any pressure not to go back but I urge you not to wait forever on that decision because (and man do I hate this increasingly true fact) the longer you keep your system in a suboptimal state, the harder it will be to get back IF IF IF IF you go back on.

 

 

More importantly, what is your doctor willing to do for you? If I had my way with my meds, I certainly wouldn't have abused them and would have regulated my decrease/increase on my own terms. Instead I've been given arbitrary timelines my my doctor who just thinks I need to wait it out , wait it out, wait it out, it's all in my head. The one variable in my health that has changed over 5 years...is the new doctor. Do the math. I hope you at least have a say in what decision you're going to make.

 

Keep us posted on how it goes. For your sake I hope you get a glimmer of hope. It's certainly better to be without the benzo if you can. Some can, some can't, a sign from your body would go a long way.

 

Rollin

 

 

[Guest [ja...]]

hi and thank u guys for the information.

im very ill right now and weak so its hard to type but i am reading..

i was wondering beacuse i think i may be turning a bit physchotic if its only temporary or goes away after w/d?

also...does the body eventually go to sleep after many nights with none or will i just stay up forever?

 

will start posting more when i feel better...

[Guest [ja...]]

day 22...

[[ma...]]

Your doing great Jane we are all rooting for you, your going to be ok

 

((hugs))

 

Magrita

[Guest [ja...]]

I hope so! I dont know i feel i may have caused serious brain damage to myself from kindling and mixing the pills with alcohol for the last 2 1/2 years? does everyone get better for sure in due time or do some stay messed up for ahwile? thanks everyone and happy mothers day

[Guest [pa...]]

everyone gets better jane

hang in there youre doing great and will be off to a new start soon

 

[Guest [ja...]]

i keep reading online and see all this stuff about psychosis...how do i know that wont happen to me? this sucks i am not able to do anything!

[[ma...]]

I thought the same things about myself Jane, you will get better just like i did, hang in there honey

[[ro...]]

hi and thank u guys for the information.

im very ill right now and weak so its hard to type but i am reading..

i was wondering beacuse i think i may be turning a bit physchotic if its only temporary or goes away after w/d?

also...does the body eventually go to sleep after many nights with none or will i just stay up forever?

 

will start posting more when i feel better...

 

your symptoms of psychosis are nothing permanent and are certainly consistent with a C/T. The question isn't whether they will go away it's when and how. Honestly I don't think anyone can say that if you wait x amount of days you'll be feeling y amount better. The only way to feel instantly better would be meds, but that may not be a route you want to go down. Depends what your goals are. Psychosis is PART of the w/d so yes it will go away.

 

As for sleep, I've read people being awake for days and honestly the body can override its fatigue program, but I think past 3-4 nights, you'll certainly fall asleep. Although I've read horror stories about what people go through, you are definitely having a rough time of it. You just have to power through it. Just so we're clear, what you're experiencing is the body saying "you didn't give me enough of a warning that you were going to pull the plug on the benzo". The only concern I have is HOW your recovery will occur. It's just my opinion that in CT situations that go this bad, one might need to reinstate to be able to let the GABA system to repair itself slowly. If your symptoms were milder, i'd say I've read people getting over their CT, but only after months. It's rare that people feel better in a short period of time after going off completely in one go. For some it's no problem at all. You seem very sensitive (like me) so weigh the options. Go back on the benzo to regain some level of sanity if it's REALLY too much or if you have the ability, the time and the circumstance, just wait it out. Again, I'll just say it's my personal opinion that staying in a prolonged state of acute symtoms seems to impede the recovery. I'm sure others have differing opinions. I just personally think that benzos aren't the evil of the earth and that coming off properly is the most important thing, not just coming off.

Actually Ashton thinks the same. The argument others might pose is that by going back on, you're prolonging the agony, which doesn't make much sense to me since stabilizing and proper tapering has overwhelmingly been shown to work. That's where Ashton deviates. She thinks, if you're off, stay off, don't even think about going back on. Seems a bit too drastic for me and many others who are proponents of a steady approach to benzo withdrawal. 

 

You WILL be ok. It's just a matter of time and being realistic, a good deal of time. Knowing that you won't be better tomorrow or the day after in some ways makes it easier so that you're not disappointed when it doesn't happen. Just remember when taking any advice -- everybody is different and everyone's circumstance is different. Judge for yourself.

[Guest [ja...]]

I think i may actually want to reinstate then this is all too much for me.