You will heal too!

[[pr...]]

Cedartree,

 

Keeping the Faith is easier with folks like you around.

 

God Bless You,

 

David

[[...]]

hii cedartree,looool yup thats me  dont worry iam kind lool , yea every time i get steers i start feel my visual problem and the dizziness right now ihave good days and the bad days kinda little and when i get the bad days its not stronger like b4 idoono is that a good sign?

[[ce...]]

hii cedartree,looool yup thats me  dont worry iam kind lool , yea every time i get steers i start feel my visual problem and the dizziness right now ihave good days and the bad days kinda little and when i get the bad days its not stronger like b4 idoono is that a good sign?

Hi Hoda. Yes, good and bad days are normal in healing. I think it's a good sign that the bad days are less. 

[[...]]

hi cedartree,thx so much thats make me feel batter ur nice friend

[[ce...]]

hi cedartree,thx so much thats make me feel batter ur nice friend

Rock On Hoda! 

[[...]]

iwill my friend

[[pr...]]

Hey cedartree.  Having a tough day today after stupidly staying up way to late last night.  God Give Me Strength.

God Bless You,

David

[[...]]

hii,not good night to me  my eyes start with little anexity iam fighting it now

[[ce...]]

hii,not good night to me  my eyes start with little anexity iam fighting it now

Ah Hoda. That's all you can do sometimes, just keep fighting it and rest a lot when you can.  I had many miserable nights in withdrawal.  Sorry my friend.    :'(

[[pr...]]

not having a good time myself right now hoda.  Sorry for you.

 

God Bless,

 

David

[[ce...]]

David, I'll visit your blog.   

[[...]]

hii cedartree. thx idoono iwas doing good idoono why istart have this thing ,man iam getting tired from that

[Guest [...]]

hey Cedartree

 

I just read your intro again and I noticed you tapered and still felt so bad I wonder why this is.  Im freaking out I c/t and have swallowed loads of different psych meds and just know my brain is so screwed.  I have little hope to have it unscrewed at the moment Im afraid.

 

thanks for helping me out today.

 

Lizzyx

[[ce...]]

hey Cedartree

 

I just read your intro again and I noticed you tapered and still felt so bad I wonder why this is.  Im freaking out I c/t and have swallowed loads of different psych meds and just know my brain is so screwed.  I have little hope to have it unscrewed at the moment Im afraid.

 

thanks for helping me out today.

 

Lizzyx

Ah Lizzy. You are not screwed.  You feel wicked miserable right now, but it's going to get better I promise.  I thought after having taken psych drugs of all kinds for over 20 years would have done permanent damage to me too, but I have recovered fully and feel better than I ever have before quite honestly.  I think you are so sweet to offer others help here too when you are suffering yourself.  Sometimes distracting from the pain and frustration of withdrawal helped me.  I'd watch a mindless movie, force myself to go for a walk, cook something yummy (when I was able), go shopping, etc.  Anything to get my mind off the fears/ doubts.  You are going to be absolutely amazed at how incredible you feel at this time next year.  You can quote me on it, okay? 

[Guest [...]]

Cedartree thanks sweety I really mean that from the bottom of my heart but Cedartree bad drug reactions like allergy to them and they kept me on them for weeks and all I did was cry how can that ever get better really?  I so want to believe you but my poor brain like adverse drug reactions apparently extremely rare so when I take an antipsychotic it made me feel psychotic and antidepressant made me depressed an antipsychotic made me feel psychotic it goes on and on our brains are not meant to be treated like that ever.

 

See why Im scared.  I do appreciate your kind words I really do but I think im in a unknown category if you get my drift.

 

thanks for being so kind

 

Lizzyxx

[[ce...]]

Lizzy, I completely understand. I also had a very serious adverse reaction to several medications and just felt sick and poisoned for what seemed an eternity.  I get where you are coming from and it does seem like we'll never heal when we feel like this. Lets face it, the drug has done some damage, but just like a broken arm, our brain heals too.  The brain is absolutely amazing.  Our bodies are amazing too.  I am always in awe of how we can recover from such devastation.  I still pinch myself and cannot believe I'm still alive after what I suffered.  My family cannot believe it either.  They were getting ready to bury me.  Not joking.  If I can be alive and well after this, trust me, you can be too.  You're great Lizzy.  Keep giving yourself pep talks, okay?  It helps.

[Guest [...]]

Cedartree

 

You just know bb is like real life there are just some people who get you from the start Im so grateful for you right now.  The tears were rolling down my face and I read this and Im going to hang onto it for real.  Im glad you didnt die I really am happy for you and your family.  I have two beautiful boys who I just adore (still both asleep atm) early morning in Australia I just want to enjoy them again they certainly didnt deserve this and neither did your family. 

 

Im going to hang on to your words to see me through another day.

 

Lizzyxx

[[pr...]]

I'm scared to ID.  I'm scared too.  I am sorry for your pain.  I'm scared too.  If, our brains are totally damaged there is nothing we can do about it.  Cedartree is healed and talks about going through the same hell as you and I are going through right now.

 

IF,  our brains are NOT, permanently damaged we will eventually be better and healed.  It is a couple of very BIG if there.  I'm scared too.

 

God Bless Us,

 

David

[[ce...]]

I'm seriously pulling for you guys to recover quickly!  I think you are the bravest, strongest people in the world!!!  It was the most painful difficult trial of my life. Once you've been through this, you can face anything. 

[[tu...]]

Cedartree:  You you have talked about the insomnia you suffered.  Right now (after 2-3 weeks of great & wonderful sleep) the insomnia has returned.  I have a lot of trouble falling asleep (it takes 1-2 hours) even when I am soooo tired and I wake up at least twice in the night (sometimes I fall back asleep relatively quickly other times not).  The last 10 days or so I have been getting 4-5 hours nightly.  I know there are people worse off than me with this, but this not sleeping gives me so much anxiety.  Ambien is what brought me to this heliish place and I went on it due to the very things I am describing above.  Now I would never use RXs to sleep again (there are worse things than not sleeping as all of us here know).  But I am afraid the sleep will not really return in a long term way.  My other symptoms seem to be better when I sleep well also.  I fear this lack of sleep is hindering my healing.

 

My questions for you are this:

 

What was your insomnia like (trouble falling asleep/staying asleep)?

How did it progress (the insomnia) through your healing (did it wax and wane)?

At what point (and what did you do if anything to help it along) did it improve?

How is your sleep now - any issues?

 

You may have answered all of this (and I am sure you have) in older posts, but I am unable to find it.  If you would be so kind to relay all of this I am sure myself and many others will benefit.

 

Thanks so much for being a friend to all of us here.  On my low days, your story and support inspire me to keep trudging along.  I promise to pay it forward when I am well and be a friend and inspiration to those still suffering too.

[[Me...]]

Hi Turtlegirl

 

Thank you for asking Cedartree those questions which are also of concern to me.  Often I read that people state they suffered from total insomnia during w/d only to read later that they would average between 4 - 6hours a night.  While I understand that it is not enough sleep it still IS sleep.  I often read poor Glyn's and Malteses' posts on the insomnia board and I am left shaking with fear.

 

Cedartree, Thank you for all your encouraging posts - I live for success stories (well don't we all?)

 

Take Care

Mee

[[...]]

Cedar - thank you so much for sticking by us thru this.

 

did you have depression as a s/x and has that gotten better, too?

 

how about high bp?

thanks so much

 

i will be off a year next month.

[[...]]

hii  cedartree, ur awesome u alwayes help me when i feel bad thx allot

[[ce...]]

My questions for you are this:

 

What was your insomnia like (trouble falling asleep/staying asleep)?

How did it progress (the insomnia) through your healing (did it wax and wane)?

At what point (and what did you do if anything to help it along) did it improve?

How is your sleep now - any issues?

 

The insomnia was very unbearable for a long time.  I often only got 1-2 hours max a night and it felt like I was brain damaged during the long day hours.  I couldn't hold a thought, couldn't focus, couldn't function much at all.  Getting to the bathroom was a huge chore.

 

For the most part the insomnia did wax and wane.  I think your body gets so exhausted it forces sleep even if it's only 3-4 hours instead of 1-2 hours.  At least that was my observation.  Once I was off of the Ambien and Ativan I began to notice sleep was slowly coming back.  It took a good two months off to notice significant improvement, but I worked hard at doing what I could to help it.  I posted my ideas for sleep on this thread.....................

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=53261.0

 

The first time I got a good 7 hours solid was around month 8 of being off benzo’s.  Then I got about 8 hours solid for the first time at 10 months off.  I do sometimes wake to go to the bathroom, but overall I sleep well and am even able to take naps during the day on weekends!  I love that and took that as a greater sign of healing than sleeping solid through the night.

 

My sleep is good now and when I was going through this I was extremely fearful I’d never sleep normally again. 

 

There is one other thing I do that helps me get to sleep.  One of my psych docs taught me this and it really helps.  I lay down in bed, close my eyes and imagine I’m walking down steps.  I count backwards from 50.  50, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45, 44 all the way to 1.  By the time I am at the bottom of the staircase I’m falling asleep.  It’s kind of like counting sheep.  That’s why my avatar is a woman walking down the steps. 

 

Anyway, I hope that answers your question.  Let me know if not.  It has helped me a lot to be able to give back, because I remember feeling so alone and so scared pretty much all of the time.  I know you'll help others too.

 

Hope you sleep well soon!

 

Cedar

[[ce...]]

Hi Turtlegirl

 

Thank you for asking Cedartree those questions which are also of concern to me.  Often I read that people state they suffered from total insomnia during w/d only to read later that they would average between 4 - 6hours a night.  While I understand that it is not enough sleep it still IS sleep.  I often read poor Glyn's and Malteses' posts on the insomnia board and I am left shaking with fear.

 

Cedartree, Thank you for all your encouraging posts - I live for success stories (well don't we all?)

 

Take Care

Mee

Thanks Meeee!  Hope you sleep better soon!

 

The success stories on these forums are what helped me the most when I was suffering, so I vowed I would post mine if I ever had one.