You will heal too!

[[...]]

hi cedartree, how r u this dayes iam really happy fro ur ask about my problem well the last days ifelt like iam so normal today i start feel dizzy in my head again and kinda little with sensitivities light after i felt well don't understand it and when igo to mall or big place i fell like its hard to visual c every thing its kinda bother my brain like over load but other than that good , and how about u i hope u feel really good

[[pr...]]

Cedartree,

 

Seven days since I have with BB.  Thanks for your encouragement and thanks for enduring YOUR journey through hell.  And thanks for being there at the end of the tunnel.  Slept last night and today is  good day.

 

God Bless You,

 

David

[[my...]]

hi cedartree, thank you so much for sharing your story.  I am fairly new to the forum too.  I had 3 hospitalizations where I was cold turkeyed off benzo's.  it was so horrible I was traumatized.  I tried to get off for 2 yrs from 2004 - 2006 without success it was so horrible.  I have been on them for 17 years.  I went to see an addiction specialist recently and they told me that all my anxiety attacks and my messed up thinking was from benzo use.  I was doing fine before I started them until i got into a scary situation working on an psychiatric unit and i was getting a divorce at the time.  the doctor told me i had an anxiety disorder and I believed her because my mother was a mental pt. 

 

anyway, I am 2 months into withdrawal.  I cut from 1mg klonipin to 0.75 K at the end of april.  I cut to 0.5mg about 2 wks now I have cut to 0.25mg 2 or 3 days ago.  I know this is fast but my mind is tol well i am on neurontin and I think that is what is helping me get thru this with less withdrawal symptoms  they are bad now but nothing like it was the last time i tried to get off.  I was psychotic at one time. 

 

I am so scared I will never get well.  I am morbidly depressed and I am in a bad marriage.  I have been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and I have fibromyalgia.  I am not working now I am an RN and I am hoping one day I will be able to go back to work.  It gave my life meaning.  I was given disability 5 yrs ago due to bipolar but that is a joke it has been my benzo use that has messed me up.  I see that now.  thank god I am getting that money anyway, because I am so messed up right now I am miserable and hopeless.  my husband has been kind enough to provide food, water, and shelter.  your story gives me hope that i too will be my old self.  I plan on printing it and read it everyday.  read my story on blogs, jackie's horror story under mystery1.  any advice you can give me will help me.  jackie m.

[[pr...]]

Jackie,

 

I can't find your blog.  I am knew here and yet don't know how.  Can you help me?

 

God Bless You,

 

David

[[my...]]

hi praying for hope.  my username is mystery1.  I posted in blogs and it says jackies horror story with benzos.  it was about 2 or 3 days ago.  do you know how i can put my signature on here?  I don't know how to do it?  jackie.

[[ce...]]

Cedartree,

 

Seven days since I have with BB.  Thanks for your encouragement and thanks for enduring YOUR journey through hell.  And thanks for being there at the end of the tunnel.  Slept last night and today is  good day.

 

God Bless You,

 

David

Awesome David. So happy you slept well last night. Hope you continue to have a great day! 

 

[[ce...]]

hi cedartree, how r u this dayes iam really happy fro ur ask about my problem well the last days ifelt like iam so normal today i start feel dizzy in my head again and kinda little with sensitivities light after i felt well don't understand it and when igo to mall or big place i fell like its hard to visual c every thing its kinda bother my brain like over load but other than that good , and how about u i hope u feel really good

Hi Hoda. I used to feel that way too, brain overload, too much visual stimulation. Malls and stores were the worst with those big bright lights. Yikes. 

[[ce...]]

Hi Jackie. I saw your taper plan and I think you are doing this too fast. All I know is that when I was in tolerance withdrawal I could not have handled going this fast at all and would have wound up back in the ER. I'd encourage you to slow down, especially since you've been on and off benzo's for 17 years. Anyway, that's just what I would do.  I'm sorry for all that you've been through with treatment centers and cold turkey's.  I honestly believe you'll begin to see improvements in your life physically and mentally once you're off the benzo's.  I know I have been able to heal fully and there's no reason to think you couldn't heal too. 

 

Hope things go well for you. People will give you lots of love and support here.

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[my...]]

thanks cedar.  I know I am going fast I do need to slow down but I want off so bad.  I am on 0.25 mg now of k and I think I will stay on this a while.  not cut quickly.  they say cutting down this low and getting off is very hard.  jackie

[[pr...]]

Jackie, I will try to find your blog again.  I gues I just go back to the blog page and keep scrolling till I find you.

 

David

[[Ho...]]

David...Click on Jackies profile name above her avatar. When you do this you will see "Show Posts" below her profile and if you click on this it will show you all of her posts. Just look for one with the title of her blog and click on that title and it will take you in.

 

Bill

[[...]]

hi cedartree, yup every time i went any mall with this big lights i feel like so much on my brain ,so how is it good sign i lost most of the symptoms like the panics , i still have some days dizziness in the crown on my head plus the other visual and sound problems some days idont have any  of it .

[[tu...]]

Cedartree:  When did your sleep truly resolve itself.  I have had good weeks and bad weeks.  The bad weeks always spook me.  While not as bad as before (getting 4-5 hrs still on a bad night now) I am struggling to fall asleep even when I am EXHAUSTED!  This inability to fall asleep is what brought me to Ambien.  While I will not make that choice again (RXs) I know now how good it feels to fall asleep (as I have had some days of this in the last month) I still get a little nervous when those nights hit.

 

At what months did your sleep really improve (permanently or mostly)?

 

Cedartree, I just want to say thanks for replying to so many of us here.  You are so kind and your words have been especially encouraging to me being that you were on Ambien and had so many of the same symptoms.  I appreciate your generosity sooooo much!  Thanks for caring.

[[ce...]]

Hi Bill, hope you are doing better today.   

[[ce...]]

Hi Turtlegirl. My sleep was mostly healed at about 10 months off.  I still had nights that weren't so great with some waking, but I was doing okay.  Unfortunately I had taken benadryl for sleep much of the time and it actually had some withdrawal once I decided to stop taking it.  Nothing serious or long lasting, but still frustrating.  I posted what has helped me in the insomnia section.

 

I'm sorry you're still suffering too with 4-5 hours. It's just not enough I know. 

 

Hope things improve soon TG!

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[pr...]]

[[ce...]]

Ha ha ha!  Cute!   

[Guest [ma...]]

Thanks for a very uplifting post Cedar.

 

Just what I needed to read today. I have copied and pasted it into my Success file for quick reading when not online.

 

I see you post on here lots too and help other out all the time! 

[[ce...]]

Thanks for a very uplifting post Cedar.

 

Just what I needed to read today. I have copied and pasted it into my Success file for quick reading when not online.

 

I see you post on here lots too and help other out all the time! 

So happy it helped you Mandala.  Keep focused on the positive.  I know it helped me to read success stories too.   

[[...]]

hi cedartree, ihope u doin ok , iam still in my days some good some no when i get stress ,but i hope every thing will be ok soon

[[tu...]]

cedartree or anyone else : I am 15 weeks off Ambien this Friday.  The last 4-5 nights the sleep has been not so great (takes me 1-2 hours to fall asleep, I wake up 1-2 times and end up with about 4-5 hours).  Yesterday and today the anxiety has really crept back in (the dizziness always accompanies this).  While I have battled the dizziness (to varying degrees) the last several months, the sleep and anxiety were doing so much better.  It is funny, but I posted my mini success story earlier last week and then all of this unleashed - go figure.  I am just wondering if you had trouble with anxiety during your withdrawl and if it subsided and returned.  I thought I remembered you saying months 4,5 & 6 were tough.  It is so discouraging to feel this anxiety again.  It makes me doubt my recovery.  I just need some hope and you are always so generous in giving it.  thanks!

 

[[ce...]]

hi cedartree, ihope u doin ok , iam still in my days some good some no when i get stress ,but i hope every thing will be ok soon

Hoda, is that you in your avatar?  You're a big guy, I better be nice!   

 

I agree, stress makes everything worse. Happy to hear you're having some good days!  Hang onto those and remember them when things are bad.

[[ce...]]

cedartree or anyone else : I am 15 weeks off Ambien this Friday.  The last 4-5 nights the sleep has been not so great (takes me 1-2 hours to fall asleep, I wake up 1-2 times and end up with about 4-5 hours).  Yesterday and today the anxiety has really crept back in (the dizziness always accompanies this).  While I have battled the dizziness (to varying degrees) the last several months, the sleep and anxiety were doing so much better.  It is funny, but I posted my mini success story earlier last week and then all of this unleashed - go figure.  I am just wondering if you had trouble with anxiety during your withdrawl and if it subsided and returned.  I thought I remembered you saying months 4,5 & 6 were tough.  It is so discouraging to feel this anxiety again.  It makes me doubt my recovery.  I just need some hope and you are always so generous in giving it.  thanks!

Hey Turtlegirl! 

I've found that dizziness for me was always worse when I got lots of broken sleep like that.  Sleep has been a battle, so I do relate.  Do you practice strict sleep habits?  That helps if you can get into a good routine.

 

Don't doubt your recovery as you are in the middle of the recovery process.  Your body is healing, it just takes so long.  Trust me in a year you'll be so amazed.

 

Do you keep a journal to log your progress?  That helped me a lot.  I did have symptoms come and go, but truly, the further I got from my last pill the less symptoms came back until they just don't come back at all.  Stay hopeful, you're already successful since you're off now! 

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[pr...]]

Cedartree,

 

Just another post saying your Great and That I am very happy you have stuck around to encourage us to get to where you are.

 

God Bless You,

 

David

[[ce...]]

Cedartree,

 

Just another post saying your Great and That I am very happy you have stuck around to encourage us to get to where you are.

 

God Bless You,

 

David

David, thank you so much. Keep the faith, okay?!