Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[gr...]]

That is great Skinnered! I am so glad you are doing better!!  I hope I have the same success that you  are having!! 

[[Ju...]]

Hello Everyone

 

I am just popping in to say hello and give an update and hopefully some hope.

 

Skinnered-so glad you are feeling your old self get closer.  It is a good feeling!  After years of doubt that we will ever be well, it is a joy to start feeling it.  Enjoy it! I hope it just keeps getting better for you.

 

I have not been out here much. I have been afraid to come out and give any good reports as maybe to jinx it.  I am past being afraid of that now.  As you have, I've been through some pretty grossly hellish symptoms that literally brought me to my knees and to some dark places I never want to go again. I am enjoying how I am feeling today. I feel joy, experience laughter and love life.  I want to give hope and be proof, we do heal.

 

I still have a ways to go but I have sped up. I am reducing my mid day dose only at .001mg day.  I hope to be rid of that dose by mid May.  Then I will only be dosing twice daily.  I made this decision for a few reasons.

 

I have had mild tolerable symptoms since September 2021. As time went on I just kept feeing better and better. Doing more life. I did get Covid in Mid January. Some symptoms, especially anxiety, kicked up, but cleared after 6 weeks. 

 

I occasionally forget to take my 2 pm dose. When I do I never seemed to have any kick up of symptoms.

 

I am living more and more life. Getting out going places and will be back to the office soon. Toting around the 2 pm dose is a pain. I take a liquid that has to be refrigerated. So I have to take a syringe with cap and an ice pack if I will be out at 2.

 

Overall I would say I feel 95% my healed self. My sleep is not perfect, I still sometimes wake at 2-3am in a hot sweat.  But this is getting less often. I get burning in my feet but not every day. (It was every day all day at one point early on).  I had a bout of what I thought was air hunger but now believe it to be allergies and my asthma. I do sometimes think I take “normal” bodily sensations and attribute them to Benzo WD. A habit I think will fade with time.

 

Love and Hugs 

I pray for peace and healing for all of us.  We do heal I promise

JuJuBi

 

[[Di...]]

Hello Everyone

 

I am just popping in to say hello and give an update and hopefully some hope.

 

Skinnered-so glad you are feeling your old self get closer.  It is a good feeling!  After years of doubt that we will ever be well, it is a joy to start feeling it.  Enjoy it! I hope it just keeps getting better for you.

 

I have not been out here much. I have been afraid to come out and give any good reports as maybe to jinx it.  I am past being afraid of that now.  As you have, I've been through some pretty grossly hellish symptoms that literally brought me to my knees and to some dark places I never want to go again. I am enjoying how I am feeling today. I feel joy, experience laughter and love life.  I want to give hope and be proof, we do heal.

 

I still have a ways to go but I have sped up. I am reducing my mid day dose only at .001mg day.  I hope to be rid of that dose by mid May.  Then I will only be dosing twice daily.  I made this decision for a few reasons.

 

I have had mild tolerable symptoms since September 2021. As time went on I just kept feeing better and better. Doing more life. I did get Covid in Mid January. Some symptoms, especially anxiety, kicked up, but cleared after 6 weeks. 

 

I occasionally forget to take my 2 pm dose. When I do I never seemed to have any kick up of symptoms.

 

I am living more and more life. Getting out going places and will be back to the office soon. Toting around the 2 pm dose is a pain. I take a liquid that has to be refrigerated. So I have to take a syringe with cap and an ice pack if I will be out at 2.

 

Overall I would say I feel 95% my healed self. My sleep is not perfect, I still sometimes wake at 2-3am in a hot sweat.  But this is getting less often. I get burning in my feet but not every day. (It was every day all day at one point early on).  I had a bout of what I thought was air hunger but now believe it to be allergies and my asthma. I do sometimes think I take “normal” bodily sensations and attribute them to Benzo WD. A habit I think will fade with time.

 

Love and Hugs 

I pray for peace and healing for all of us.  We do heal I promise

JuJuBi

 

Thank you thank you for your awesome report!!!  I so needed it today.  I am so very happy for you!  Keep enjoying every second of your life its just going to get better for you.  Praying we all get there as soon as we can.

 

Sending hugs and prayers💕

[[St...]]

Hi grey cloud.

I do it with dry cutting. I have bought a scale with a very high accuracy (more digits). Every day I take 0,2% less,  I even think I could go faster now.

I hope to get rid of it by the end of this year.

 

Hi Skinnered, can you share the link to your scale?

[[kr...]]

Hello-

just saying hello.  I have not been on here since August 2020.  I have to say that I have had a full recovery but the horrible ordeal took its toll on me physically but that is on me now..  been benzo free now for 20 months.  Just like to thank everyone out here..  you truly saved my life

[[Di...]]

Kry123...wow Congratulations!!! 

 

Awesome what Winnie said I listened to you on Geraldine's podcast too!!!

[Guest [...]]

Hello-

just saying hello.  I have not been on here since August 2020.  I have to say that I have had a full recovery but the horrible ordeal took its toll on me physically but that is on me now..  been benzo free now for 20 months.  Just like to thank everyone out here..  you truly saved my life

 

Congrats!!

 

I remember listening to you on Geraldine’s podcast.

Glad you are doing well.

 

Did your ears get better. Mine are like that now. Pretty painful.

I wear a hat, as the air getting into them hurts.

 

Thanks for coming back.

 

Winnie.

[[Ju...]]

Kry123

 

So glad you are doing well, healed and back to your life.  I am right behind you. It has been a very long hellish road but we made it. I am not off it yet but very very close.  I am feeling really good and feel like my old self but even better.  So good to hear from you!

I hear ya this group out here literally saved my life too.

Thank you for coming back and letting everyone how well you are doing.

 

Hugs JuJuBi

[[gr...]]

Hi everyone in the Ativan group,

Was wanting to do a milk taper with the lorazepam. Has anyone here used the milk taper? I've tried using just water and the particles sink to the bottom too quickly. I then tried  to dissolve it with the vodka but I had a bad reaction to the Vodka. Was going to try to taper with the milk but I had read in a few posts that people said that the milk does not work well with the Ativan?  Not  sure if this is true, so I was hoping someone with experience with Milk can give me a few pointers and some advice...

Thank you all!!

[[Di...]]

Hey ativan peeps,

How is everyone coming along with your tapers?  I'm still tapering sure is difficult.  I hope your tapers are going as well as possible.

Hugs and prayers ❤

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone, Hi Dianedeedee

I am struggling and I want to have some input from you my fellow warriors. I will copy and paste what I have wrote on another forum:

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

I need some help as I think I did a little mistake.

I was holding still my Ativan dose since october and was waiting for a real stabilisation that was hard to come.

Since mid-march, I was feeling a bit better. A lot of good days with mild symptoms, I was functionning better in my day to day life.

Because I was eager to resume my Ativan taper, I did a drop from 0.18mg to 0.17mg, so a 0.01mg drop. The first 2 weeks were ok-ish, mild to moderate symptoms on and off. But since the last week or so, all hell broke loose! My worst symptoms are returning (depression, anxiety), but the worst is I am in a total anhedonia/apathy state since the last 2 days or so. I havent had those symptoms this bad since the beginning of my benzo taper. It is so hard I am not fonctionning properly.

 

I need advice. I don't want to updose, but I don't want to be stuck like this for weeks or months. Will it go away? Do those symptoms can wax and wane like my usual symptoms?

 

What should I do?

 

I realize now that maybe I wasnt stable enought to make this small cut.

 

And as I am dry cutting, I cannot do smaller decrement.

 

Thank you for all your help.

 

Marie

 

[[Di...]]

Oh Marie I am so sorry.  I believe all symptoms wax and wane and new ones can pop up at anytime there doesn't even have to be a reason for them.  I have become so sensitive to everything sometimes I'm like what the heck did I do this time.  I don't have a good pattern for my taper or symptoms I just do what I can never knowing if I'm going to get hit or not.  I wish I had better answers for you I've decided that if I keep holding everytime I feel like crap I'll never get my life back.  Do what your gut tells you is the best thing I can offer.

Hang in it will get better I truly believe that.

Hugs and prayers ❤

[[2c...]]

Hi Marie

 

I’m sorry you are having such issues.  I feel the same as Dianedeedee.  I can never really tell what causes my waves. I, too, am dry cutting and discovered at my last cut that my scale does not weigh any less than .004 g or approx .035 mg.so the last cut I shaved a bit off of the .004 g.  This is for both my morning and midday dose. Those doses are a crumb!

 

Like Dianedeedee, I am just charging forward .  I am cutting every two weeks with an occasional longer hold. I don’t seem to stabilize, whatever that means, so I want to get it over with. 

 

I’m thinking next cut will be to get rid of the midday dose.  I have forgotten it a couple of times so I think that’s a sign think about eliminating it. My bedtime dose is .045 g, approx. .38 mg.

When I done with midday and morning completely. I will start on the bedtime dose.

 

My symptoms are all over the place.  One day I will feel pretty stable but the next day I have intense pain and depression, crying all day , anxiety out the roof , hot flushes, etc.  Crazy town! Also extreme lack of motivation to function.

 

This can also happen in the space of a few hours or minutes like someone flips a switch.

 

Tlhat being said, I have noticed a kind of shift over the last few weeks.  It’s hard to explain but maybe it’s some kind of acceptance or my brain and body are starting to stabilize a bit. 

 

Daylight Saving Time has really affected me.  Even before my taper DST was not my friend.  Totally messes with me. Now worse during taper.

 

Sorry for the long post.  Just wanted to share similar issues. We can do this! I have learned patience but it’s extremely hard. 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you so much Dianedeedee and 2cat!

I feel a little bit less alone in the dark. But it is so frightening! When I have my usual symptoms, I am not in panic because I know the beast, but it is the first time since almost the beginning of my Ativan taper that I meet knew symptoms. It scares me. And I realize I rather prefer to have depression than no feelings at all. Maybe it is because I know my depressed feelings never last more then few days. But this know one, I don’t know yet how it’s gonna be.

 

2cat: what you say about daylight saving time is pretty interesting, because I have seen the effect on my withdrawal symptoms either. I’ve never been prone to that before, but this year, I started to feel bad in November and before this week, I was seeing some improvements since March. This is why I tried to resume my taper.

 

I hope I will feel better soon…

 

Thank you for your help!

[[Di...]]

Hi Marie and 2Cats,

Marie I'm glad you don't feel alone we are here with you.  2Cats made a great point about daylight savings time.  Last November when the time changed I had a horrible time.  I realized that I needed to stay with the old time for my doses because I had moved them to match the clock.  When time changed this Spring I left my doses alone I did much better.  Maybe that has happened to you too.  It just seems like any little change messes with our system. 

This journey is pure HELL but like we have been told so many times and I have to keep telling myself this...the only way out is through.  Hang in we are all cheering you on.

 

2cats I have the same symptoms as you plus benzo belly my heart goes out to you.  I told my husband just last night that these symptoms are torture.  I pray for all of us here on BB every night.

 

Sending hugs and prayers ❤

[[Ha...]]

You have wise words Dianedeedee. Yes, if I had held every time I felt bad I would still be taking a big dose. It is torture indeed. I’m glad you worked out a good way to get around the clocks changing, every little change can cause a set back. I’ve been off about 2 months now. Things are slowly improving. My tummy is a lot more sensitive than it used to be but if that’s the only symptom I’m left with I will be very happy indeed.

The way through is so hard but it really is worth it. I am 67 and hope to have maybe ten years of better health and some joy. Joy is something I haven’t had for years but I get glimmers now, it’s beautiful.

Bless you all, Hardy.

[[Ju...]]

I, like 2 cats and Diannadeedee, am charging forward.  I have picked up the pace as I was symptom free for several months. Symptoms have kicked up for me but I am going forward.  I held a few days and things eased some but not a great amount.

 

Maria I have experienced anhedonia on and off throughout my taper more often almost daily in the early days.  As I have gotten lower it happens less and less. O agree Diannadeedee has some wise words.  This is such a scary process. I am glad we have each other for support. 

 

2cats so many of your symptoms are like reading my own. The “crazy town” on and off of these symptoms.  I did not think anyone else experienced the hot flushes. They can even wake me at night. I can be feeling perfectly myself and all the sudden get this fire like heat creep over my body. Then it is followed by exteme cold and I can not get warm.  I cry for no reason at random times. Things can trigger me that make no sense at all.

I too am eliminating my midday dose.  I forget it quite often as well and felt it is a sign it is time for it to go. 

This is all so scary and sometimes feels neverending. We will all keep going and one day this will be behind us.

Hugs to all

JuJuBi

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

Today was difficult, extreme anxiety. Usually, I don’t have this symptom very often, but now it is very bad. Almost painful. I cannot believe such a small reduction throw me in such a bad state. I haven’t had one « not too bad » day since last Thursday. Each day I hope it will calm down a bit. I really don’t know how I am able to work through this… One thing for sure, I really can’t push forward. I will sit on this dose for a while.

Hope your day was not too bad.

Marie

[[Di...]]

You have wise words Dianedeedee. Yes, if I had held every time I felt bad I would still be taking a big dose. It is torture indeed. I’m glad you worked out a good way to get around the clocks changing, every little change can cause a set back. I’ve been off about 2 months now. Things are slowly improving. My tummy is a lot more sensitive than it used to be but if that’s the only symptom I’m left with I will be very happy indeed.

The way through is so hard but it really is worth it. I am 67 and hope to have maybe ten years of better health and some joy. Joy is something I haven’t had for years but I get glimmers now, it’s beautiful.

Bless you all, Hardy.

 

Hello 😊!

I should have taken my own advice a long time ago 😂 I would be done with this poison.  I am so sorry your stomach is more sensitive I know how awful that is.  Praise the Lord you are getting glimmers of joy I think that I miss those the most!

🙏🙏🙏

[[Di...]]

I, like 2 cats and Diannadeedee, am charging forward.  I have picked up the pace as I was symptom free for several months. Symptoms have kicked up for me but I am going forward.  I held a few days and things eased some but not a great amount.

 

Maria I have experienced anhedonia on and off throughout my taper more often almost daily in the early days.  As I have gotten lower it happens less and less. O agree Diannadeedee has some wise words.  This is such a scary process. I am glad we have each other for support. 

 

2cats so many of your symptoms are like reading my own. The “crazy town” on and off of these symptoms.  I did not think anyone else experienced the hot flushes. They can even wake me at night. I can be feeling perfectly myself and all the sudden get this fire like heat creep over my body. Then it is followed by exteme cold and I can not get warm.  I cry for no reason at random times. Things can trigger me that make no sense at all.

I too am eliminating my midday dose.  I forget it quite often as well and felt it is a sign it is time for it to go. 

This is all so scary and sometimes feels neverending. We will all keep going and one day this will be behind us.

Hugs to all

JuJuBi

 

Hey JuJuBi,

I am so sorry symptoms have picked up but so glad you are able to carry on...this is so hard.  But you are getting close to the finish line and I know can't wait to cross it.  We will all be doing the happy dance with you!  Good luck on getting ready to eliminate the midday dose that's awesome!!!

 

Hugs and 🙏

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

Today was difficult, extreme anxiety. Usually, I don’t have this symptom very often, but now it is very bad. Almost painful. I cannot believe such a small reduction throw me in such a bad state. I haven’t had one « not too bad » day since last Thursday. Each day I hope it will calm down a bit. I really don’t know how I am able to work through this… One thing for sure, I really can’t push forward. I will sit on this dose for a while.

Hope your day was not too bad.

Marie

 

Hi Marie,

I am so very sorry you have had such a difficult day.  Anxiety is horrible!!!  I have that and the burning stomach everyday!    You have to do what is best for you.  Praying the anxiety goes as quickly as it showed up.

Sending you prayers.

[[Ju...]]

Marie

 

I am so sorry you had such a rough day. The anxiety is the worst. So scary and seems to not have an end.  I use an app called dareresponse. It is not a miracle cure for anxiety but it had definitely helped for me. I have built up many "tools" along the way to help get me through and the dare response for me has helped the most.  I think as many tools as we can have certainly can't hurt.  I certainly understand holding. I think it's a good plan and I do believe things will ease. This is not a race. The goal is to keep going in the right direction no matter the speed. One day and even one moment at a time you can get through. This is temporary.

 

Dianedeedee, symptoms have kicked up but honestly still doable. It's a bit up and down.You are in my prayers.  One day you will be feeling joy again and this will be a very faint memory.

 

Please have hope we heal even while tapering. I truly believe that.  I am still tapering and have hit some huge milestones lately and want to share to give you all hope.  It will get better I promise.

 

This past weekend I drove to see a friend I have not seen in over 4 years. I spent 2 nights at her home. We went out shopping, to restaurants, laughed and enjoyed visiting.  I did struggle with morning anxiety and tummy troubles but made it through and actually enjoyed many moments.

 

Yesterday wound out to be a great day.  I got great new on the work front from my Boss.  I attended my weekly yoga class and then was able to go out to a restaurant with my yoga group and laugh and socialize.  I felt 100% my old self it was wonderful!  So hold on to hope.  We do heal even while still tapering.

 

We will all get our life back.

Hugs to you all

JuJuBi

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you everyone. Your words means a lot for me.

Today, a lot less Anxiety, but some depressed feelings and apathy. For me, anxiety is not the worst, depression is the worst.

My real me is a very joyful and positive person, so I really don’t recognize me when I feel depressed. It is just not me at all.

Today, I have a lot of sadness and frustration about all this ordeal. I don’t understand why it is so hard for me to taper. Why I am in the unlucky group. I know it is self pity, but today it is the way I feel. This morning, I’ve listen to a song I was used to listen with my boyfriend when I was in my young twenties. It brought the memory of me when I was a young and happy woman, before a Dr put psych med in my life. It is a shame, I was not supposed to cross the path of those poisonous pills. I was not an anxious nor a depressed person. My life have been wasted by those pills.

My only hope is that someday, this nightmare will be over and I hope my old self will come back as it was.

I can thank you enough for your support.

Have a nice day!

Marie

[[Ju...]]

Oh Marie my heart goes out to you.  This nightmare will end and you will get our old self back.  You will feel all that joy again.  I know it does not seem like it now. Benzos are liars and tell us we will never feel good again. The feed us doom, gloom and leave us feeling hopeless and helpless.  But they lie.  We will get our life back and this will only be a memory.

 

Hugs

JuJu

[[Di...]]

Hello everyone,

I have a question.  I have been doing the DLMT so I feel wd pretty much everyday.  This past Sunday I decided to try the cut and hold...my question is how long after making a cut do yo typically start feeling the reduction?  Thanks for any and all answers.

 

Hope everyone is having as good a week as possible.

 

Hugs and prayers 🙏❤