Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[La...]]

liberty:

 

Yes, while on lzpm I had extreme visual sensitivity which included weird color sensitivty and full on hallucinations (e.g. trails). At 14 months off lzpm, I am still only getting 4-5 hrs sleep each night. Sometimes 6 in rare cases.

[[Lo...]]

I think both of you Kyra and Laser had some excellent advice. The part about updosing in response to a panic attack I've learned. Anyway, if I get so desperate, I'd rather updose 1.25mg valium than ativan.

 

The two instances where I made bad mistakes and had to use updoses and beta blockers were when I introduced valium into the mix. Prior to that, with just Ativan, the interdose wd sxs were like clockwork, and it was easier to follow strict schedule. When I started taking V and feeling better, the gaps between Ativan doses got a little larger, so this is what happened:

 

#1 really bad tremors -> only had 1.5mg Ativan in the last 24 hours

#2 exploding BP and ER trip ->  only 2.125mg Ativan in last 24 hours

#3  galloping BP night after ER trip -> 2.125mg Ativan in last 24 hours

 

Apparently, getting below 2.25mg or so gets me in big trouble.  I really think that #1 is what made #2 and #3 worse. The false sense of security when starting 5mg V and nice, solid BP from V, made me think I was out of the woods without me realizing how lower concentration of Ativan will erase that nice BP in a second.

 

Do you people dose at the exact time intervals? I can do that when I am at home, but can't always when I am out and about. Specifically, if I take 0.5mg of ativan after 6 hours (instead of 5), can i take another dose after 4 hours? This is really the hardest part for me to figure out. I realize the idea is to keep the steady concentration of A in the blood, but I may be at a checkout line of a grocery store at that moment or somewhere else. How do you manage?

 

Is it more important to take Ativan doses like clockwork, or is it ok to slightly deviate from that but make sure I have the same amount of A in the 24 hour period? I am thinking that V may give me a little leeway, but not as much as I thought (which resulted in #1, #2, #3)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

LorazepamFree2015 - I personally think dosing at exact intervals is extremely important. I dose 3 times a day and have rarely gone more than 5 minutes over my dose time. One time I went about 25 minutes over only because a meeting went long at work. You want to make your taper as precise as possible in many ways. Just my opinion.

[[Sa...]]

A lot of activity here...Kyra I'm sorry about the burning, really I am. It's one of my worst sxs as well. I understand you're confused about there being no correlation between tapering and sxs. I totally agree with Laser by the way. With everything he's written for everyone here, frankly. I never once saw any connection between the burning and making a cut. I'm nearly 8 months off, and while I do have some breaks from it, I understand burning is a classic sxs, and I expect this to go away eventually. I know you've had lots of testing to rule out many other conditions, I think it's safe to assume this is from the Ativan. One thought, if you can't tell you've missed doses I think that's great, clearly interdose sxs are not a factor. Good news

 

Sunny I'm sorry you're feeling so badly, maybe it's time to change from those big cuts? Only suggesting if your signature is correct, it may be time to move slower with lesser cut amounts. Why not try holding for another week to see if you can even out a bit? Honestly I was never what I'd consider stable even once during my taper, personally I always found relief in cutting, but that was my experience not yours. I'd try to play it safe just the same and hold for a bit longer. Hope you feel better soon.

 

LP I'm sorry, I'm still confused...are you still Planning to completely crossover to Valium? Laser gave you excellent advice regarding panic rescue doses etc. I did dose on regular intervals, set an alarm on my phone, was rarely late for my doses although a few times was nearly an hour late taking them if I was out. Those were rare occasions though. I found being consistent with dosing was the key for me. I dosed at 7:00 12:15  5:15 and 10:30 like clockwork.

[[...]]

Laser - I'm sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying previously about up dosing.  Thanks for the clarification.

 

Saga - I know I sound like a broken record.  I guess many BB's have these doubts and are afraid there's some big illness that's been missed.  Let me just ask this (I think I'm repeating this), on 1/21/15 was the last time I had horrific burning that kept me in the house all day crying and caused me to miss work.  So basically it's been a month since ive had the bad burning.  I've had a tiny bit here and there but nothing compared to what was.  I didn't even make my first cut until feb 1. 

That's what I don't understand, how can the burning be gone for a month, starting before I even cut?

That's what puts doubts in my mind about the burning being related to ativan.  Maybe I'm in some big window that started while still on Ativan.  If I didn't have this stupid brain lesion that was an incidental finding, I think i would have no doubts about the burning. I am sorry you experience this too, it's horrible.

I guess through all this, I'm asking if it's possible to have a month long window (still in it) that started even though I was still on full dose Ativan (1.5 mg) and continues through 2 cuts? Ever had that happen to you?

 

LF2015 - I too am a little confused on what your plan is.  To echo what others have said, I think it's definitely important to dose at regular intervals.  I only dose twice a day because that's how I always was so I just continue that pattern.  To me, that's my interval.  As far as dosing in the grocery store/in public places, I've done it before many times. I have had no problems and I believe that's because I wrap my dose in parchment paper and I think people just think I'm taking BC powder.

Just to mention, I've to been to the ER many times before I realized maybe my issues where Ativan related.  They never really helped me, everything they checked out was always normal, blood work, ct scan of my head, abdominal ct, many other tests outside of ER too.  I finally stopped the ER trips after the last one was such a horrible experience. 

When you go to the ER, is it helping you/are they helping?

[[Sa...]]

Kyra, I know, I know, it's ok to sound like a broken record, because it's really hard to believe it could be the Ativan when there are times when it doesn't happen, the burning. Truthfully, earlier in my taper I often went a week at a time with no burning  I know, it makes no sense. I've had all kinds of nerve testing done years ago and no one ever made a connection with a more serious issue. I also took lyrica and all kinds of pain killers, but nothing ever stopped the burning. There is NO doubt in my mind this will go away eventually. I've read it too many times before.

[[su...]]

Thanks everyone!!

 

Kyra...I am holding....I don't know for how long..we will see!   I know this isn't a race but I am a very impatient person!!

 

Saga....I was thinking about breaking out the scale for this next cut...you did the dry cutting...how did you do it?  I was told that the pills will not be equal in weight because of the additives so I am just trying to get an idea!! And when going down like...  .03...did that come off of one dose or all doses?  I dose twice a day so if I want to drop .05 should that come off of just one dose or half off both doses?  Sorry for so many questions but I want to get this right!

 

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

 

Sunny 

[[...]]

Saga - how long have you had the burning? Thanks for the reassurance. Yes, this one month of almost no burning has got me really confused. It would be wonderful if this were permanent because this glimpse of most of my old life is heavenly.  Still have other small sxs but those are nothing in comparison. I guess that's probably something I'll continue to struggle with, believing it's the ativan. I want to believe because that helps me not lose hope that it will one day stop permanently.

 

Sunny - just to let you know what I do as well because I dry cut too.  I take probably 5-10 pills and crush them up and stir the powder.  I keep the powder folded in parchment paper and then make little individual weighed doses in pieces of parchment.  This enables me to carry my dose with me and also feel pretty comfortable taking it at work or in public.  It's quick and convenient and the parchment paper and powder I think easily pass for BC powder.  Glad you are holding for now. 

 

Kyra

[[Lo...]]

I am trying to crossover but have lost my way. Yes, I am finally getting a grip on this. I foolishly thought 5mg Valium was going to cover me enough to stretch doses of Ativan a little bit. Wow, how unforgiving Ativan is. Now, I understand the doses still have to be like clockwork regardless of the valium. Looks like I'll have to stabilize on 2.4mg Ativan and 5mg Valium for right now before I do anything

[[no...]]

Hello all!

 

It has been some time since I posted here but want to check in and encourage any of you who are newer to hang in there with your taper!  I started my taper in August 2014 with the idea that I would be done by the end of the semester (I work at a college so live in "semester" time  )  That was the first thing I had to let go of!  It will take as long as it takes.  I also learned very quickly that I am super lucky to be experiencing a relatively smooth withdrawal.  Possibly because I am using ADs, I don't know, but I think of all of you who are having struggles and hope and pray that you will feel better each and every day.

 

I just wanted to update my signature and report my current dose of .25 Ativan nightly.  If you look at my signature, you can see that I was using Lorazepam only for sleep, which may be another reason why my withdrawal has been easier.  I deal more with depression than anxiety.  But I was definitely developing tolerance and feeling terribly sedated during the day.  When I cut to .5 mg, I felt that heaviness lift.  I am so much clearer during the day and I can think better and feel so encouraged to be completely off soon!

 

Kiddo, congrats on jumping!!  I hope you are still feeling well! 

 

One of my close friends advised me of her positive experience with a chiropractor who also specializes in nutritional counseling when she needed to get off of the same meds.  I know that there are specific support threads for nutritional supplements so I won't go into detail here.  I added it to my signature tho and I do believe it has helped.  If anyone wants to know more, there is a way to private message me (I think) or I am happy to respond at lnorth10@gmail.com   

 

Thank you all so much for all of your support and keep on One Day at a Time!

[[Lo...]]

 

LF2015 - I too am a little confused on what your plan is.  To echo what others have said, I think it's definitely important to dose at regular intervals.  I only dose twice a day because that's how I always was so I just continue that pattern.  To me, that's my interval.  As far as dosing in the grocery store/in public places, I've done it before many times. I have had no problems and I believe that's because I wrap my dose in parchment paper and I think people just think I'm taking BC powder.

Just to mention, I've to been to the ER many times before I realized maybe my issues where Ativan related.  They never really helped me, everything they checked out was always normal, blood work, ct scan of my head, abdominal ct, many other tests outside of ER too.  I finally stopped the ER trips after the last one was such a horrible experience. 

When you go to the ER, is it helping you/are they helping?

 

The first ER trip helped because it ruled out all abdominal issues with the ct scan

The second ER trip didn't because all they did was give me more ativan, so I had to come back down from that dose

The third ER trip was even less helpful since they absolutely did nothing and sent me home.

 

What laser said in his comment is super helpful. Although those panic attacks are chemical in nature, we can make it worse than they are by adding more panic and making it even worse.

 

I'm really hoping to do well with a crossover. It seems like an easier route for me. But I am in the process of finding a new psych that will support an Ashton taper, so I am holding on 5mg Diazepam for now.

 

I'll try to be as sparing with beta blockers as possible (just to get back to that 2.4mg dose after updosing a few times), but I am still in that mode that when panic hits, I either want to go to ER, reach for another loraz pill or take a beta blocker. I'm still thinking that tapering the beta blocker will be eaiser than updosing on ativan. I really don't want to go to 3mg Ativan/day if I can help it.

 

 

[[...]]

LF2015 - sounds like you have a good plan.  I think it is a great idea to stabilize, no point in jumping around with different dosages if you can stabilize on a steady dose and then slowly cut.  Definitely keep looking for a doc to help you taper and c/o to Valium.  You can do this. 

 

Northriver - thank you for the encouragement.  Glad to hear you are having a smooth taper. 

 

Kyra

[[...]]

LF2015,- i got so discouraged with the ER, I too had the initial tests that ruled out various things when in the ER and then I too got to the point where I'd panic about a given symptom and not know how to get out of that mode of impending doom so I'd go to the ER. Got to the point where I couldn't take hearing they couldn't find anything wrong. 

 

Yes tapering the beta blocker is easier I believe as far as withdrawal sxs but you know what I mean when I said that about updosing your beta blocker, right? I think whenyou reach for a beta beta blocker, your are creating a cycle.  You panic, take a beta blocker, your body becomes adjusted to that dose to lower your heart rate. You try to go back to your regular beta blocker dose, you panic again and take the updosed amount (your body has become adjusted to the updosed amount), so you are just setting yourself up for more panic, creating a cycle of panic that you can't break.  Anyways, that's just my two cents worth.

 

Kyra

[[su...]]

Kyra, how do you keep the powder in the paper?  And how do you take it? I am soooooo confused!  Hahaha

[[...]]

Sunny - I just basically fold the paper in half long ways (I cut a rectangular piece of parchment paper) The powder goes in area where you made the fold/crease, in the center.  I then fold the sides over and lastly, the top gets folded over.  I put a piece of scotch tape just to keep it closed and put it in my wallet.  When I need to take a dose, I take the piece of tape off the parchment, unfold the parchment and put one end of the parchment in my mouth and let tbe powder slide down the crease into my mouth.  I've never spilled or lost any powder doing this.

Does that help at all?

Kyra

[[Lo...]]

LF2015,- i got so discouraged with the ER, I too had the initial tests that ruled out various things when in the ER and then I too got to the point where I'd panic about a given symptom and not know how to get out of that mode of impending doom so I'd go to the ER. Got to the point where I couldn't take hearing they couldn't find anything wrong. 

 

Yes tapering the beta blocker is easier I believe as far as withdrawal sxs but you know what I mean when I said that about updosing your beta blocker, right? I think whenyou reach for a beta beta blocker, your are creating a cycle.  You panic, take a beta blocker, your body becomes adjusted to that dose to lower your heart rate. You try to go back to your regular beta blocker dose, you panic again and take the updosed amount (your body has become adjusted to the updosed amount), so you are just setting yourself up for more panic, creating a cycle of panic that you can't break.  Anyways, that's just my two cents worth.

 

Kyra

 

Thanks about the beta blocker warning. I've only taken them something like 3 times in a month, usually when I messed up and updosed A in panic. I have gone back to 5 hour intervals on Ativan (and use the alarm clock as a reminder), so I am now at 2.4mg A and 5mg V and feel stable. Other than waking up to have an A dose, I slept for something like 9 hours which I haven't done in months. So, I'll hold at this dose for a few days and hopefully no beta blockers. My sincere desire is not to use them on a daily basis if I can help it.

 

I am managing to get out of the house again, which has been huge for me after I was hiding in for 2 days after cutting down my A dose too much inadvertently.

[[...]]

LF2015 - sounds like you are on the right track, definitely sounds like that's the right dose for you to stabilize on. 

Kyra

[[mr...]]

Hello all-

 

I started this thread way back in 2011. I was one of those very sensitive ones who was trapped on Ativan after a short time on a low dose. I am now 16 months free and, although not yet healed, am doing a lot better. My remaining symptom is fatigue that goes from mild to pretty severe. Withdrawal had a major impact on my adrenals and HPA axis and that can take a long time to get back to normal. I am planning on coming back to BB and pay-it-forward (maybe as an Admin) when I have more energy and the confidence to do so. I haven't been on BB much since I finished my taper because I had to distance myself and just give myself time to heal.

 

So please hang in there and don't lose hope. Life really does get back to normal. There were times I thought I would never be Benzo Free or able to function again. And while I wish I had more energy, I am so grateful for the progress I have made and continue to make each day.

 

Tina 

Hi Tina,

That will be awesome if you come back as a moderator.

There are so many people with the protracted wd that could really use a success for inspiration, such as your experience.

You sure had a long hard time and you are almost there!

You are one very strong person.

[[...]]

TinaCA - thank you so much for coming back and posting on your progress.  I'm so happy to read you are doing so much better.  I find great hope from those that come back after many months and say they thought they'd never heal but they are so much improved, or fully healed.  And I agree, I think we all fear being in the protracted group so you coming back as an Admin would be great for a vast group - from those early in their tapers to those in protracted withdrawal.

Kyra

 

[[Lo...]]

LF2015 - sounds like you are on the right track, definitely sounds like that's the right dose for you to stabilize on. 

Kyra

 

I think you're right. Right now, I was still getting panicky in the store and felt weak and all, but didn't updose. It was a bit nerve-wrecking, but it felt like regular anxiety, not the chemical one. I think it was basically fear of fear. I think all those wd symptoms from the unstable doses have made me more afraid. I think that will slowly subside once I've had a few more stable days.

 

I think my BP and HR sxs are much like your burning skin sxs. I can deal with insomnia, crazy thoughts, and a bunch of other sxs, but getting a handle on BP and HR fears is going to be a key for me.

 

 

[[...]]

LF2015 - I can definitely understand that about your BP and HR sxs being like my burning sxs. I can even relate to your BP and HR sxs as I had that too prior to any of these benzo sxs (I've got really bad health anxiety). And I get the fear of being afraid.  I have fear of having anxiety attacks which would cause me to have an anxiety attack.  Working through the fear without taking an ativan is really difficult since ativan is usually instant relief but I know we can do it. 

Kyra

[[Lo...]]

LF2015 - I can definitely understand that about your BP and HR sxs being like my burning sxs. I can even relate to your BP and HR sxs as I had that too prior to any of these benzo sxs (I've got really bad health anxiety). And I get the fear of being afraid.  I have fear of having anxiety attacks which would cause me to have an anxiety attack.  Working through the fear without taking an ativan is really difficult since ativan is usually instant relief but I know we can do it. 

Kyra

 

I know we can do it, too. Prior to benzos, my panic attacks were brief affairs. Maybe up to a minute or so. Plus, years ago, when I was in my 20's, I wasn't too concerned about panic attacks knowing I was still young and did not need no benzos back then. But, as I got older and life got more stressful, there became this need to protect myself from too much stress. Too bad doctors here in the US are eager to prescribe strong stuff (Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin) and hate prescribing valium since I think that would have caused me much less grief as my symptoms were more GAD brought on by multitude of life stresses than pure panic disorder.

 

But it is what it is, and we'll pull through :-)

 

I am still holding on 2.5mg Ativan + 5mg Diaz. My body feels weak, but I hear that's one of the normal sxs.

I am hopeful that after several more days on this steady dose without the ups and downs, my strength will return a bit.

 

 

 

[[Ti...]]

Thank you Mrtmeo--You've been very supportive to me all along the way!!! I appreciate you calling me a strong person. I think I am too!! I feel so badly for all the people who are still in the thick of it. It infuriates how these so-called "medications" can destroy a person's life!! I want to write a book someday!! But for now, I don't look back at all--only forward. I have wasted enough time being sick. I don't want to waste another precious moment feeling angry. I'm not sure if I'm in the protracted group at this point--but all that matters to me is that I'm slowly getting better. The progress is just soooooo sloooooow.  And every time I get a virus or a stressor in my life, I talk a half-step backward again. Like everyone says, healing is not a linear process. Anyways, thank again for you kind words...

 

Tina 

 

Hello all-

 

I started this thread way back in 2011. I was one of those very sensitive ones who was trapped on Ativan after a short time on a low dose. I am now 16 months free and, although not yet healed, am doing a lot better. My remaining symptom is fatigue that goes from mild to pretty severe. Withdrawal had a major impact on my adrenals and HPA axis and that can take a long time to get back to normal. I am planning on coming back to BB and pay-it-forward (maybe as an Admin) when I have more energy and the confidence to do so. I haven't been on BB much since I finished my taper because I had to distance myself and just give myself time to heal.

 

So please hang in there and don't lose hope. Life really does get back to normal. There were times I thought I would never be Benzo Free or able to function again. And while I wish I had more energy, I am so grateful for the progress I have made and continue to make each day.

 

Tina 

Hi Tina,

That will be awesome if you come back as a moderator.

There are so many people with the protracted wd that could really use a success for inspiration, such as your experience.

You sure had a long hard time and you are almost there!

You are one very strong person.

[[Ti...]]

Hi Kyra,

 

Hi there. Yes, I do wan to come back someday and pay-it-forward. I am confident I will heal and get my energy back--just taking it a day at a time and appreciating how far I've come...

 

Tina  :smitten:

 

TinaCA - thank you so much for coming back and posting on your progress.  I'm so happy to read you are doing so much better.  I find great hope from those that come back after many months and say they thought they'd never heal but they are so much improved, or fully healed.  And I agree, I think we all fear being in the protracted group so you coming back as an Admin would be great for a vast group - from those early in their tapers to those in protracted withdrawal.

Kyra

[[Ti...]]

Thanks Saga!!!  :thumbsup:

 

Hello all-

 

I started this thread way back in 2011. I was one of those very sensitive ones who was trapped on Ativan after a short time on a low dose. I am now 16 months free and, although not yet healed, am doing a lot better. My remaining symptom is fatigue that goes from mild to pretty severe. Withdrawal had a major impact on my adrenals and HPA axis and that can take a long time to get back to normal. I am planning on coming back to BB and pay-it-forward (maybe as an Admin) when I have more energy and the confidence to do so. I haven't been on BB much since I finished my taper because I had to distance myself and just give myself time to heal.

 

So please hang in there and don't lose hope. Life really does get back to normal. There were times I thought I would never be Benzo Free or able to function again. And while I wish I had more energy, I am so grateful for the progress I have made and continue to make each day.

 

Tina 

 

Tina, thanks for coming back...I've wondered how you've been doing, obviously when you post here you see all the names of others who've come before on this road. I'm really happy you're seeing some solid improvements at 16 months off.

 

I doubt any of us want to believe how long it takes to completely heal from these drugs. I know the goal posts are always moving in my head, If you know what I mean  . Thanks for the encouragement, looking forward to your success story.