Hi, I think I'm addicted to Klonopin

[[su...]]

Ahhh, it's that time of month. Restless and a very irritable. Going for a walk!

[[Be...]]

What year are you in and do you have a major picked out?  What courses are you currently taking?  I'll probably never go to school again so I like to sit back and watch others squirm. 

 

3rd year, History. I'm in a grad level(and just about everyone in my class IS a Master's student) Imperial Russia class which has 500-1000 pages of reading a week, a 5 unit Research and Writing class on Southeast Asia and the teacher is trying to make it into a grad class and then my only sort of easy class is world history. 

Man, that sounds like a lot of pressure, sugarlily.  I remember thinking throughout my college years that, based on the amount of homework,  every professor seemed to think theirs was the only class anyone was taking.  What are planning on doing with your degree? Teaching? Or?

 

Hope the walk helped.  It almost always does me. 

[[su...]]

Ahh, I have this persistent cold for over a week that I can't seem to get rid of. Had some morning ick but that seems to be pretty typically coming up a few days into my period. Doing good though.

[[Be...]]

I'm glad to hear you are doing so well on your taper, sugarlily.  What are you down to now? 

 

Sorry about the cold.  Are you sure it isn't allergies?  For me, they are hard to tell apart. 

 

How are your classes going?  Must be hard to study when you have a headcold.  I know you'll hang in there, though. For a little thing, you are one tough cookie. 

[[su...]]

I'm down to 21, yaaay! Muscle aches in my legs but they seem to be passing. I was doing good with caffeine for like 2 weeks and not so much anymore unfortunately.

 

It might be allergies? I'm not real sure, I've acquired a nice raspy voice though lol

 

Classes are hard as heck, next week is going to be baaad. My research topic is due tomorrow, a bibliography on Thursday, a paper, test, 2 analysis, research proposal presentation, citation quiz, etc, next week. Oh boy.

[[Be...]]

I'm down to 21, yaaay! Muscle aches in my legs but they seem to be passing. I was doing good with caffeine for like 2 weeks and not so much anymore unfortunately.

 

It might be allergies? I'm not real sure, I've acquired a nice raspy voice though lol

I sometimes get mistaken for a man over the phone. 

Classes are hard as heck, next week is going to be baaad. My research topic is due tomorrow, a bibliography on Thursday, a paper, test, 2 analysis, research proposal presentation, citation quiz, etc, next week. Oh boy.

Yikes! I remember when my dad used to say my college years would be the happiest of my life.  What a depressing thought that is! If we don't see much of you this week, we'll know what you are doing. 

[[su...]]

Umm well, today sucked, withdrawals were horrible this morning and I left school early bc I felt so shitty. My hands felt like electricity was being shot through them and I was pretty nauseous.

 

On my way home from school, I got into a car accident on the freeway. A lady changed lanes into my car and I ended up slamming the guardrail. I'm ok, I've been to the ER, with a prescription for vicodin(no I'm not worried about getting addicted lol), I'm very traumatized, I got lucky to put it mildly. Anypoo, I'm tired, I think I'm going to slow my taper and not get completely off until I'm done with school which is Dec. 5 or so. Will put a note in my other titration thread.

 

[[Be...]]

That was a close one!  It all happens so fast on the freeway there's little time to react.  I'm just glad you are safe and have been checked out in the ER.  By all means slow down your taper.  Just the memory of what happened to you will be doing a tap dance on your CNS for a while.  I'm so sorry this happened to you, especially now with all you have going on at school.    Take care of yourself.

[[Th...]]

Umm well, today sucked, withdrawals were horrible this morning and I left school early bc I felt so shitty. My hands felt like electricity was being shot through them and I was pretty nauseous.

 

On my way home from school, I got into a car accident on the freeway. A lady changed lanes into my car and I ended up slamming the guardrail. I'm ok, I've been to the ER, with a prescription for vicodin(no I'm not worried about getting addicted lol), I'm very traumatized, I got lucky to put it mildly. Anypoo, I'm tired, I think I'm going to slow my taper and not get completely off until I'm done with school which is Dec. 5 or so. Will put a note in my other titration thread.

 

 

Hi sugarlily,

 

Good grief, what a bad day!!   So glad you are all right!! I hope that lady has to pay for your damages!! No problems with slowing your taper down, let your body be your guide!

 

T2

[[su...]]

Ya it was have her hit me with her metal flat bed truck or take my chances with the rail. I don't know if I will get anything from insurance. My agent will get back to me tomorrow. I hyperventilated pretty bad right afterwards and then started to again at the hospital so my CNS isn't doing great. Well, happy to be alive, love all my b-buds! I'll be checking in. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[[Ke...]]

Ugh!  Like you don't have enough on your plate already 

 

Glad to hear you are okay Sugarlily    Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. 

 

Keith

[[su...]]

Ohh, rough week, still alive! I've continued with my taper, down to 17ml. More updates later. 

[[Be...]]

  You HAVE been good, sugarlily.  Looks like you held your dose only a few days and got right back on the taper horse.  Just over 2 weeks from now you will be done, finished, free.   

[[Ke...]]

Glad you checked in- hang in there SL-   

[[de...]]

Sugar

 

What a day!  I hope you are OK.  You're right about the anxiety and upset being hard on the CNS.  Take care of yourself, sweetie.

t

[[Je...]]

So glad you are OK Sugarlily!!  Very scarey!!

 

Jen

[[su...]]

Alright I give up. My bf dumped me. I'm beyond heartbroken and I wish a piano would fall on my head. It's taking a hell of a lot of willpower to not pop a few klonopin right now.

[[el...]]

Oh honey, I'm sooo sorry. I know that pain. It's unbearable. Life has been really hard on you lately. I don't really know how to offer you any comfort, except that we are here for you. Please know it will get better. It's just not going to feel like it for awhile.   

 

 

[[el...]]

As for your taper, I do understand you wanting to take extra, but try not to. It won't really make it better. By all means though, hold your taper for a bit. 

[[su...]]

I just don't want to be alone. My friends all called a few minutes ago. Seriously this is so beyond hard.

[[el...]]

I just don't want to be alone. My friends all called a few minutes ago. Seriously this is so beyond hard.

 

Then don't be alone. Stay on the phone with your friends. Or go meet up with them. You just really need to talk about it with them. I seriously know the pain of heartache, and I really feel for you Sugar. I know this doesn't help right now, but you will get past it. You are so young, and have your whole beautiful life ahead of you, with lots of new love in your future. Yes, I know that is the last thing you want to hear right now, cuz you want this love. But life has a funny way of unfolding. I"m old enough to know that. 

[[su...]]

Ok, I've completely blown it. I have klonopin, vicodin, vitamin B, and 5-HTP in my system and I'm not feeling good. I don't know why I did this to myself. The pain is unbearable.

[[Be...]]

Sugarlily 

 

Have you taken anything you don't usually take?  I imagine the vicodin is for pain from the auto accident but you've been taking the others for some time, haven't you?  I wouldn't be surprised that you feel physically sick from being so upset.  If you took some extra klonopin, a one time slip won't affect your taper.  You can go back to the level you were at yesterday.  You were doing so well on your taper; don't let this derail you. You said you didn't want to be alone; are your folks gone? Can one of your friends come over or you go there? 

[[su...]]

I broke down, I called him and it may not ever be a happy ending but the first thing he said was, can I come by and give you a hug and the 2nd thing was I'm sorry. This is far from being over but I feel like I have control in the situation now and the anxiety is completely gone. Oh god, I could write a soap opera about my life lol

[[su...]]

I'm going to bed before I collapse. I'm going back on titration tomorrow. Oh god what an experience. I think I hit rock bottom and then I went up.