Forced To Fight...And Win! 15 months Healed Yes....

[[sa...]]

Hi Jenny.

My stomach blows up like a balloon when I eat.  I also have pain along and below my left rib.  It is a heavy aching burning pain.  I think my stomach is located there?  Debating if I should go to the Dr.  I really do not want to have a scope done!  Does this sound like the pain you had?

thanks for your replies!

[[ja...]]

Sarafina hello..

 

Thats exactly the pain I had. I was bloated every time I ate. Swelled up. I also had the pain under my left rib. Even if I pushed down on it it hurt. So sore and burned. Having a scope never hurts sara. I had a Cat Scan with contrast .Nothing was wrong .It was all w/d ..

 

 

[[sa...]]

Wow!  You are the first person to have the exact same pain.  I think this started about 3 months.  How long did it last for you?  I am taking probiotics.  Did anything help you?

[[ja...]]

sarfina..

 

It lasted me about 7 months total. Then it subsided . Nothing worked for me. Just the previcid a bit.

I tryed tums alot ..That may have helped me with the swelling. But before I knew it is started to disappear on its own. Then i stopped the ant acid.

 

Hang in there it will subside for you to;.Its so uncomfortable I know

 

I also got spasms under my left rib I hated that

[[sa...]]

Thanks!

Could I also ask if you had the adrenaline rushes and fast heartbeat in the middle of the night?  Wakes me up every night!  UGH

[[ja...]]

Omg Sara..

 

My heart beat was so super fast and pounded so hard. It was 168 on and off for months. My Blood pressure was at 178/125 as well for months. I had it checked often. The adrenaline rushes were so bad for 7 moths nonstop. I also had Vibrations thru out my body.Felt it so bad when I would lay down. I would wake like that for what felt like forever. Then Akethesia took over me and that was just super mean. Really mean cause at month 3 to 7 I was bedridden and with Akethesia needing me to move .I was trapped in my body. Its just so awful rt. Do you still have that? Its all gone sara all of it.I was so off the charts terrible I couldnt even imagine me getting better..It so does tho. How far long are you off? 6 months I think I read is that rt?

 

[[sa...]]

Hi again

I was perscribed ativan a few years ago after a panic attack.  Took maybe 5 total until Oct 2011.  Had a rough spell and took a few and immediately had reactions.  One Dr even thought I had MS because of all of my tingling and numbness!  I was having a hard time sleeping and my Dr said to take at night and during the day as needed to get me through the winter. I had heard it was addictive but he said I would be fine. I did not take it every day but BECAME VERY sick.  Found info about benzos on line after I had to walk out of my kids Christmas program because I started shaking and almost convulsing.  I also was in a car accident during this time and the ER doc put me on prednison!  I collapsed in Target.  I had stopped the ativan and the prednisone about did me  in.  Discovered I had a disc bulge in my back from the car accident which was quite painful.  Any how I c/t the ativan on Dec 21. I had already been going through interdose withdrawal and thought that I would be ok because I did not take it consistently or for a long time.  SILLY ME!  I think I had every symptom and then some.  I was curled in the fetal position crying and rocking in pain for many days.  I barely remember Christmas but somehow I got through it.  My poor poor children would look at me with such fear in their eyes as I would pace and cry.

 

There is much more to my story but the point is that I am doing better but not healed and very frustrated.  I have 4 children to take care of along with a job I am trying to keep and medical bills galore. I just want to be me again! 

 

I just went for a hike with my kids and now my body is buzzing and my heart feels like it is going to jump out of my tbroat!

 

Thank you so much for your posts.  I feel so blessed to be able to unload and relate to somebody who understands.

 

 

 

and cry and pace an cry.  There is much more to my story but I don't want to bore you

[[ja...]]

aww Sarafina..

 

Im so sorry for everything you went through and still going through. You could never bore me with ur suffering I promise. We actually have alot in common. I have 4 children as well. I also got into a car accident and had 14 procedures from my disc issues in my lower back and Siatic Nerve Damage.

Was prescrbed Prednisone as well . I was head to toe Numb from the 6th day of my c/t all the way till the 7th month. My god I know all about the Pacing and crying. Its so terrible.I know as a mommy it is so hard to see what your kids are going thru. My children were so scared they were so worried I was going to die. I faked it till I made the best I could. But I want you to know my kids are perfect again. As time is passing and Ive been better for 8 months now there actually forgetting I was so ill. There like you were sick? Im like What??? lol. Thank God there not traumatized..

 

You can come here always and unload at any time Sara ok? There are so many wonderful and compassioate people here who I am so sure can relate to how ur feeling so well. I know I do!

You sound like your fighting so good.

 

~Jenny

[[KR...]]

Jenny... Thanks for all your continued support throughout my withdrawl. Beyond a great friend you truly are a inspiration to many. Reading your success story AGAIN this morning puts things in perspective on just how BAD things were for you and how great things got as time passed. Doesn't speed up the hands of time but does give hope. Thanks again for caring.

 

Rock

[Guest [...]]

hey Jen

 

just popping by to say a big hello to you and let you know you are in my thoughts gee getting better is so worth it hey. 

 

Love to you Jen thanks for everything you did for me I so appreciate it.

 

Your friend Lizzyxx

[[St...]]

Hi Jenny,

 

  I really enjoyed our chat on Thurs.  You give me so much hope talking to you.  You are the only one I know that has healed and are living their life 100% which makes such a difference.  Thank you for being there. You are like BBs Bliss Johns.  I so truly appreciate you taking your time to come on encourage others.  Just like with her - when a real survivor is around and you can see they are living a full real life healed it is like a tonic that you just can drink up giving you the hope and belief to go on.  You make a difference Jenny to so many people.  That is what I want to do also, make something positive from my going thru this. When I'm healed i want to come back also and tell others they will too.  Just think what this forum would be like if more survivors did that? Thank you for being so special and giving.

 

love you Jenny,

Sally

[[KR...]]

Jenny... hope you have a great summer. You deserve the best in life after all that you've been through.

[[mp...]]

Jenny dear heart,

 

We could really use your calming and loving spirit around here more often. You are much loved you know. 

 

I tried to PM you the other day but couldn't, I'm no expert when it comes to PM though. 

 

I am still in my window that started yesterday and it's fantastic!  Do you feel "normal" and good all the time, or do sxs slip in a little now and then?

 

Love you,

 

M.

[[ja...]]

Jenny... Thanks for all your continued support throughout my withdrawl. Beyond a great friend you truly are a inspiration to many. Reading your success story AGAIN this morning puts things in perspective on just how BAD things were for you and how great things got as time passed. Doesn't speed up the hands of time but does give hope. Thanks again for caring.

 

Rock

Thanks JRock...

 

I know because you now see me silly and living all the time you can forget that I to was just like you! I hope by you seeing me feeling great everyday and back into life will give Hope to you knowing it can be done and will be for you as well.

I know It doesnt speed the hands of time. I wish it did. But what it can do is help you gain Strength and stay as Positive as you can to finish this off.

 

Thanks for all youve done for me as well .Your a wonderful friend.

 

~J

[[ja...]]

Lizzy Girl...

 

Listen honey I know your feeling alittle beaten up by the latest events here. Please try and not let this upset you to the point where you feel you need to leave! Take a deep breath and maybe a min for yourself and I promise you will feel better. It happens Lizzy. Look at me. I felt the same.

 

The thing is your so needed here and so Genuine. Your not going anywhere. That's that. lol

 

Now smile Lizzy and get yourself rt back into your roll of giving everyone so much encouragement and support and Love!! You hear me my sista..

 

Now go ..Get! 

 

Love ya honey

 

~Jenny

[[ja...]]

Aww Sally!

 

Thank you.I know exactly what you mean. I needed one thing through out this Horror. Thats someone to let me know Im going to be ok. Im going to be so healthy again and feel like Me again with no sxs. That would have been gold to me. I hope I was able to make you feel you would be You again. I ment it. Your sweet as anything and I am so positive that your almost done just by the way your feeling lately!

 

Im so happy for you that the dentist went well thats wonderful!!!

 

Love always Sally~Jenny

[[ja...]]

JRock..

 

Ill have the best summer when Im not the only one having it!

 

 

[[ja...]]

Sweet M...

 

Aww.. your so sweet to me. I love your abilty to make people feel so cared about. Thank you for that.Thats a quality that can not be learned..

 

Idk Miss M. whats going on around here lately. I have always done whatever I can to bring Calmness to this storm.

 

Your so Loved here yourself Miss M. What you bring is a Brightness and I know everyone needs that so much..

I do feel Normal everyday. I do still have time to time muscle pain but its really no biggie. I go to bed Calm and wake in Peace. I can just shower and go about my day. I dont ever have to worry What will I have to Fight thru today? Never. That happens after Time has passed and sxs have stayed away. Youll get there .I promise you. Yay Your in a window Thats wonder.Enjoy it. Thats the real you peering thru..

 

Well I know someone who thinks my Normal is quiet Abnormal! Lmao but for me its My Normal lol.

 

Your doing great..Miss M.. Your doing real good

 

Love ya~Jenny

[[ja...]]

OH Miss M..

 

I forgot.  My Pms have been shut down many months ago. I cant get Pms. Im so sorry you wrote one and it didnt go thru. I did this due to personal reasons and I hope it didnt upset you. I Disconnected it in January

[[mp...]]

Oh, I see jenny, ok. No problem. I'm doing fine now. 

 

Love,

M.

[Guest [...]]

hey Jenny

 

lolz dont worry about me Im over it already and have moved on.  I just want to continue to recover so Im not buying into any more issues that other people have.  The people that I know love me regardless and thats all I care about.  I know what you recently went through and have learnt my lessons from that.  Im so glad you are so happy Jen I can hear it in your voice lol talk about voices I have a mad song I want to find for you later I will look for it later.  Keep on keeping on and stay beautiful.

 

Love to you

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [...]]

Jen I need you today girlfriend if you are around and see this tell me did you have this crying and rage and feeling like you could not cope as in on the verge of a breakdown.  I hope I dont freaking get worse again Im serious. 

 

Love to you

 

Lizzyxxx

[[ja...]]

Aww Lizzy

 

Honey yes I had that It was early on for me like in my 2nd month. Its because our CNS is so hypersensitive and I'm not a crier. So I was like WTH  is wrong with me. Then as time passed. I cryed for a whole nother reason. Devistation and knowing I was trapped and nothing was going to help me.

I just want you to know that what your going thru with your Husband is very hard and for a healthy person let alone a over sensitive CNS in w/d its extreme.

 

That will subside for u Lizzy and the crying will stop. I really feel terrible your hurting like this. Your so strong tho honey. And it will never get as bad as its was .

 

Oh yea At month 2 I had Rage .Like for real Rage. I lost it one night and Threw a wallet at my husb .It hit him and he was like .WTF is wrong with you? I was like I'm outta here now give me $. LOL I drove away and parked at the Dunking Donuts and Cryed and wigged out .I was like OMG Whats wrong with me. I'm gonna loose it and have a major breakdown. Craziness. This w/d effects the part of our brain that's irritable. Ughh what a Nightmare. It Ends all of this mess. It leaves and everything calms again. Just keep doing exactly what you are Sweet friend. Talking thru this is the best ever.

 

Hang in Honey

~Jenny

[Guest [...]]

Thanks Jenny as usual you come through with the right words.  Today I just started crying and all this anger and rage came out I was screaming quite scary it was and Im so broken who knows how this is going to be you  know I thought I was better and obviously I am not.  Im not that strong Jen wish I was but dont feel like it Im getting worried now.  One day it will go right you have assured me of that and I have to believe you.  I think im crazier than most though If you could have seen me crying before it was not normal crying it was sobbing and anger combined not normal i havent cried for nearly 2 weeks was crying all the time before and then i thought it was all gone.  thanks love.  Glad you got better I am and thanks for sharing with me again.

 

Lizzyxx

[[ja...]]

Lizzy

 

Just remember these arent all your emotions.Actually wether there yours or not isnt the really to important .Its your responce to them that isnt all urs. Ur emotions are all over the board.Thats what this nasty w/d does to us. For just a bit of time tho. I was the same Lizzy girl. I had a major melt down . I hadent cryed like that since my daughter died and I never thought I ever could again. And when I found my self like that broken down it scared me to. But for some reason I found that the days to follow I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. So my Mini Breakdown was kinda a Emotional Breakthrough. Its not crazy to break down and cry sweety. If your Crazy then I think we all need to get some Crazy and Quick. To me your the kind of Girl that people should aspire to be!

 

Be easy on your self Lizzy I really think its your Hormones reving u up a bit. That happened to me for a long time even when I knew I was healing .

 

Love ya Lizzy