Forced To Fight...And Win! 15 months Healed Yes....

[Guest [...]]

Love you sweety dont think you know how much.

 

 

Lizzyxx

[Guest [...]]

Jen I wish I could pm you I hate everyone knowing this crap but I feel like im gunna die again from this I really do there is no hope for me atm.  I know you are going to say there is but look at the stuff I came of noone I know has been so screwed up for so long than me in four months time it will be one year since I c/t and Im still no better one whole year.  Then off the 45mg of valium at xmas and then in april the last 2.5.  SOS

 

sorry mate dont want to let you down but im seriously in a bad position right now. 

 

Lizzy

[[ja...]]

Ok Lizzy Listen honey lets try and put this in the rt place to understand more.

 

You did kinda what I did. Yes I did a C/T at 20 to 30 mils of Valium and the shock was super severe. You did a C/T and then 45 mils of Valium in christmas time and 2.5 in April.

Ofcourse you still hurt Lizzy. This is so different then any other meds or drugs . It shocks the Crap out of our brain. It literly changes the brain chemistry for a bit of time. Your doing so good. I know you hurt and feel like your so screwed forever. I did to. But Your brain is really working this out. I see major healing in you.

 

You know what I did Lizzy.At month 7 when I was able to start to walk again and started getting the muscle to come back. I had like 30 other sxs that were so bad. I just keep telling myself .If my brain can fix me enough to not be Bedridden anymore.Then my brain can Fix everything this w./d has done to me.

 

Its so true thank god. Lizzy your going to be so Healthy again . You just have to keep ur Fire in you going and keep telling your self . Im not going down like this. And Im promising you. You WONT.

 

I hate that your feeling so bad rt now. Its a nasty wave thats hit you and its so hard when they do. Im sorry Lizzy. But soon those waves become lighter and the Windows become Brighter and then W/D is over and never again will you ever feel this bad in your life again!!!

 

Your gonna be ok Lizzy girl I know you are. You gonna be better then ok

 

Stay strong honey Im here for you ,You know that

[Guest [...]]

awww Jenny I hate relying on you I really do I just so bloody depressed like an abnormal depression did you get depression did krock like is this a common thing its my most dibilitating symptom atm.  I read your stuff actually im gong to read your intro yet again.

 

Love to you and I thank you so much Im like that annoying little sister right.

 

your friend Lizzyxx

[[ja...]]

Aww Lizzy Noway your not the annoying little sister .You like the Favorite Sister that everyone runs to to help!!!

 

OMG YES Lizzy the depression is so funky.Not ur regular. I had that once. This was a chemically induced kind of Over whelming Doom and saddness that I couldnt get from under. It flooded me and I hated it more then anything. It Lifted tho and when it did I felt amazing. I smiled big.I was laughing .I became so Light hearted again. As for Krock I hope he stops bye to answer that for u.

 

You can always rely on me . Im rt here when ever you need me or anything

 

I hope as the day passes the depression lifts a bit for u so u can feel relief on that .

 

xoxoxo~Jenny

 

[Guest [...]]

Jen so just quick you didnt just have it one day it came and went for a while did it because thats the gloom you are describing so real.  lol at krock i cant bloody find him to ask him anything im scared of him lolz. 

 

Lizzyxx

[[ja...]]

Lizzy It did come out of nowhere.

 

I had fazes. Like the first three months were so Toxic and Acute.Then when that subsided a bit I was hit with this huge very real feelings of Doom but also deep depression. I mean it. I woke and tears just fell .I would get my kids off to school and shut the door behind me with this over whelming sadness.Tears. I was devastated at how much mental emotional issues were hitting me. And Lizzy I'm a really happy woman normally and I just don't cry. I'm tuff as hell so this was really concerning me. I just thought I was going to loose it. Like for real go crazy. But I learned its all w/d and it all stops and the calm and happy self returns.

 

LOL at being scared of KRock ur to funny. He is a bit scary tho isn't he? Lmao Kidding noway hes a Pussy Cat. O no I shouldn't say that hes gonna Flip on me. Now I'm scared of him ... Bahahahah

 

Love ~Jenny

[Guest [...]]

lol at Krock he is a fierce tiger not a pussy cat hey krock she said that not me hit her first ha oh Jen your in trouble.  ok i get you its normal in this process right crazy as it seems and I to never cried before all this so its all very freaky i have spent so long crying and im over feeling like it just a wave jen that all a wave.

 

Love to you and thank you

 

Lizzy

[[...]]

hi jaso, iam happy fore you iwas reading ur story now when ihave bad anxiety now but i think istart feel batter after idid read what u said you guys really help and really nice friends ,ihave question how long u was on benzo?

[[mp...]]

Hi jenny,

 

just popping in to send my love your way.

 

 

M.

[[ja...]]

hi jaso, iam happy fore you iwas reading ur story now when ihave bad anxiety now but i think istart feel batter after idid read what u said you guys really help and really nice friends ,ihave question how long u was on benzo?

Hi hoda

I am so glad you were able to feel better after reading some of my success thread ..That anxiety we get in this w/d is so over the top .Im really sorry your going through that! I hope that calms soon for you. I was on Valium for 1 1/2 years maybe a bit longer. Then I c/ted from 20 to 30 mils . I didnt know I couldnt .

 

~Jenny

[[ja...]]

Hi jenny,

 

just popping in to send my love your way.

 

 

M.

Sweet M...

 

How sweet of you to be thinking about me! Thank You . Your so nice to me Miss M. I hope your getting relief you really deserve it!

 

Xoxoxo ~Jenny

[[...]]

hi jenny, thx fore ur answer iam 5 months off now iam fighting really bad and iam so glad to found good people like u really help .the sensitivities from the light killing me with the anxiety ihope iwll be out that soon ,

[[St...]]

Hi Jenny,

 

I'm writing to tell you I think I am getting better but so scared to believe it for I feel awful back in a wave today.  I have taken Atarax since 4 months and now I am over 9 1/2  - I used it every 4 to 6 hours.  My psy had told me that as I got better I would need it less.  Well as of Tues and today is Friday, I haven't had any since 1 pm.  I went into a window and just thought I don't need it and I have done ok.  Yesterday afternoon the tide changed and my window closed and wave came in. I still even though I was and am in a wave don't feel that taking the Atarax would help me thru what my sxs are in this wave. So I haven't taken any of it nor the Atenolol that I use as needed.

 

So Jenny - this is a sign of improving of healing isn't it?  It shows that my CNS is healing if what sxs I'm feeling now I don't feel are warrant of my taking Atarax or atenolol? I still can take them as needed but it feels nice to not be taking anything but the Lyrica 3xs a day.

 

I also am trying to figure out this Lyrica.  If I continue on it and give my body even more time to heal then someday I will be ready to taper off it.  I hope then with my CNS healed more then my sxs will be fewer and less intense so coming off it will have less percussions.  Just a thought.  I admit I'm truly scared of the Lyrica - the coming off of it. My psy even said I could cross over to the neurontin but she didn't know what would be equivalent doses, plus I didn't want to rock the boat and cause any waves.

 

Just thinking with my fingers.  Oh Jenny I'm so thank you for coming around and giving me such hope.  You are what I keep as my goal - knowing that getting well is for real.  My husband keeps telling me that I'm getting better and that I will get well in time. He looks me in the eyes and tells me this over and over, he has right from the beginning. I have to believe those eyes - he has never lied to me.

 

Again thanks for being here.  Hope you are having a good summer with your family.

love,

Sally

[[ja...]]

hi jenny, thx fore ur answer iam 5 months off now iam fighting really bad and iam so glad to found good people like u really help .the sensitivities from the light killing me with the anxiety ihope iwll be out that soon ,

Your welcome hoda..

 

I was so awful at month 5 so I know exactly what you mean. Keep fighting all your sxs will start to subside and then there gonna leave. I hope you anxiety goes away for soon!This is all so hard but it gets easier. Then it gets so much better.

 

~Jenny

[[ja...]]

Sally!!!

 

That sounds like progress to me!. The fact you dont have to take those other meds is wonderful.

Just keeo fighting Sally .Somedays may be a bit harder then others but soon those hard days will be less and less. I think that your husband sounds like he knows you and would never lie to you!

Thats sweet .Im so glad you have his support .Its so important.

 

Your doing great..

 

~Jenny

[[sa...]]

Jaso

Love your new picture!

[[ja...]]

Sara.. Hello

 

How have you been feeling?

 

Thanks on the pic..

 

~Jenny

[Guest [ja...]]

Hi there! Ive been seeing ur posts...looks like you did a cold turkey off valium too...stuff is rough and I hope youre doing a lot better!

 

Jane

[[ja...]]

Hey Jane,

 

Thanks for coming bye. Oh yes its ruff stuff. I am doing very well from what this w/d put me through.

Hope ur feeling relief to! Hang in there Jane this is super hard but thanks god it comes to a end.Your gonna be ok.

 

~Jenny

[[mp...]]

Dear Jenny,

 

How are you? Seems like it's been a while since we've talked. 

 

While looking through some old posts here, I was again reminded how very important and special you've been to so many here. I guess I started my BB journey a little late in the game, but I remember your voice and your spirit from my first days.

 

You made me feel special even while you spread your special magic to many good souls here. See, that's the thing, you have that rare ability to make each one of us know that you love us, and are only and always about us getting healthy.

 

I want all the best for you too. I know that even though you've had your success, that this long ordeal hangs on even in little ways for a long time. I wish you healing and peace along with all of life's beauty, forever and ever.

 

Sometimes it's easy to let someone keep giving and giving, I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers too. Taking care of so many maybe full of joy, but it ain't easy honey. 

 

Love,

 

M. 

[[ja...]]

Sweet M 

 

Aww That was so sweet .I appreciate what you said so much. Thank You. Geez Miss M I don't even know what to say that was so nice. You made me feel good .

 

Its so funny you say this tho.That's how I feel about you. You have this ability to Shine when you show up. When I see your green color I'm like Awww Theres Miss M. I'm always so happy and usually Humbled after I read your true sweet heartfelt words!

 

I really hope I was able to help you feel some comfort in your early days here and always!

Miss M this is some road huh. I have to say This is the road that brought me some most beautiful Blessings and the most amazing best friend .I just hate that everyone here is hurting so much feeling blinded in this w/d.That's what I always hope to do is lift the Blinders and bring some Hope and Truth in this process that we HEAL.

 

I'm so happy you've come bye today ..You made me smile.Once again!!!

 

I pray for your Comfort and Peace to be restored immediately

 

P.S. Your a Hell of a Woman

Xoxoxox~Jenny

[[mp...]]

Thank you so much kind Jenny.

 

It is a true blessing out of all of this, the wonderful friends I've made.

 

I am honored by your words.

 

Love,

 

M. 

[[km...]]

Jenny,

I have to ask how you are doing?  I ask because I see quite a few people who post success stories and then a couple months later I find out they are not doing so well and this makes me wonder do we really heal or just have good days bad days??  You are so good to everyone here and I thought if I asked you I would get an honest answer.

Hugs

Kristin

[[ja...]]

Kmarie Hi Honey

 

You know what I think may happen. Is that some people start to feel the Relief of the grip that this w/d has on us. Then they start to feel better .So they think Oh thank God I'm healed. And sometimes it just can come back but not so much as bad as before.

 

Yes we heal fully from all of this. I am really good and I truly want you to know that no matter how bad things get they will get better. Its a mean and long process but our brain really does know how to work this out.

 

I waited over 2 months of consistint relief until I posted my success story .I know how mean this is and learned how to always look over my shoulder. But after 2 months I knew This is OVER. And even after I posted I even felt better and better as time passed.

 

I hope your doing OK Kmarie .I know how much you have hurt in this.You deserve such happiness and health

P.S. Your right I would never lie to you about this or anything and If I was still hurt I would need help to.I could never give false hope Kmarie .Please stay Hopeful

Xo~Jenny