Anhedonia and emotional flatness support group; never being happy, never sad

[[Be...]]

Xray, I hate what these drugs have done to me too. 

[[Th...]]

Hey Lightspacer

 

Hate the no joy in anything. It drives me up the wall. All this would be so much easier if I could get a break from it even for an hour. I think it's awesome you still try to do things. I hope you keep in the habit.

 

 

Xray

Its worse when I should be feeling something and I don't. Not having grief or love when I should is the hardest thing for me. I think those moments really make what I am going through stand out.

 

Becks

You said it, you said it.

 

I wish my brain would get some action besides anxiety and "sadness". Feels dead up there. I should try getting up and doing something.

Lightspacer, you do music, right? Does forcing yourself to do something creative help?

[[Li...]]

Ha flat group,

How are you doing today? I have another tough day. Actually suffering from anhedonia is not the hardest thing, it is my groggy mornings/afternoon’s that are the hardest. I hope to change that after I finished my zopiclon taper. I am planning to taper the citalopram then, I am also using. My cleaning help woman can come any minute now, so I wish you all a good week! Huggs Jerry

[[Th...]]

Thanks Lightspacer,

 

Its been ok. The scary thing is there is scarier things than anhedonia. Im having ear symptoms where everything hurts or is too loud. But I was able to get outside and draw a bit. It looked terrible but everything is a step. I hope those groggy mornings go away.

 

Hugs to you and keep hanging in there.

 

Xray, how are you?

[[...]]

Not having a good day. Symptoms were real bad today. Insomnia is slowly killing me. I dont even have the emotions to care if I die. I dont want to die but i really dont fear it anymore. I have absolutely no emotions at all. Benzo's have taken everything from me.

[[Be...]]

X-ray, I pray you can get some restful sleep soon.

[[Li...]]

Hey flat group,

I had a tough day, luckily there was skating on tv, which I could watch. In the Netherlands skating is traditionally big. And this weekend there were qualifications for the world cup races. It gives me some distraction, I can not really enjoy it of course, since I have no emotions. But it is something. My father can come here any minute. We are going to eat french fries together and watch a classical music program on tv, and also national football league summary.

Hugggs Jerry

[[Li...]]

Not having a good day. Symptoms were real bad today. Insomnia is slowly killing me. I dont even have the emotions to care if I die. I dont want to die but i really dont fear it anymore. I have absolutely no emotions at all. Benzo's have taken everything from me.

 

I kind of know what you mean! I wouldn’t mind not waking up next day. Life without emotions is pointless. I have the feeling I only life for others; My cat, my father, some friends… I try to see a purpose in it, but I can’t. I feel I am trapped in my brain, my body…

[[...]]

X-ray, I pray you can get some restful sleep soon.

 

Thanks becks,

Ive pretty much given up on recovery. I am really at this point just waiting for it all to end. The only reason I keep going is for my kids. The said part is that I really have no feelings for them. I mean I love them but I dont feel the love like I used to. I pray and hope this goes away but after 11 months with very little improvement hope is running thin.

[[...]]

Hey flat group,

I had a tough day, luckily there was skating on tv, which I could watch. In the Netherlands skating is traditionally big. And this weekend there were qualifications for the world cup races. It gives me some distraction, I can not really enjoy it of course, since I have no emotions. But it is something. My father can come here any minute. We are going to eat french fries together and watch a classical music program on tv, and also national football league summary.

Hugggs Jerry

 

Im sorry to hear you had a tough day. U hope you enjoyed the the skating. I havent watched any tv in months. Its to stimulating for wired up brain. Plus nothing even interests me anymore.

[[Be...]]

Sorry, X-ray, you're still not feeling very well.

[[Th...]]

X-ray, I pray you can get some restful sleep soon.

 

Thanks becks,

Ive pretty much given up on recovery. I am really at this point just waiting for it all to end. The only reason I keep going is for my kids. The said part is that I really have no feelings for them. I mean I love them but I dont feel the love like I used to. I pray and hope this goes away but after 11 months with very little improvement hope is running thin.

That the reason I'm still here. Family. The no feelings for people makes everything hard, but I factually know I love them. You are a real trooper. Yes, lying there, surviving and waiting for it to end counts as a trooper. I hate to say it. But sleep and anhedonia like to hold out for a while. We are both at about the one year mark, but that definitely doesn't mean it won't change. 11 months feels like forever and there isn't an end in sight. I feel the same, but I have been assured that we are not the first it has happened to and the people started healing after being in  hell for a year.

[[Li...]]

Hi Flatters,

It is Sunday evening and the weekend is almost over. Saturday I finally met Willem again in the swimming pool. He is manic depressed, and after 5 months staying in his house being depressed, he got out last friday. Now he is able to feel emotions again, something I long so much for. Today I had a tough day, not feeling well throughout the day. We had a day filled with rain. In the evening my father came for music and football, our favorite club lost a match. Like always I made french fries and we ended with a Ben and Jerries ice cream. My zopiclon taper is almost finished, and I like to do it as slow as possible. I also listened to an episode of the NdePodcast.org about near death experiences… that is always inspiring and gives me hope.

Hugggs Jerry 

[[Th...]]

Hi lightspacer and everyone.

Hope we keep moving foreword. I drew two pictures this month. Thats a record. Just wanted to share.

Light, it looks like you are keeping up hope and I am do glad to read about your day. Congrats to Willem!

 

Xray, I'm thinking of you and hope you are making it through.

[[Dr...]]

Emotional flatness stems from derealization as well: numbed emotions, fatigue, feeling flat and detached.

 

I would personally find some techniques to stem the dr and apathy online. There's many great coping skills and ways of grounding yourself.

 

You know, if a person didn't feel so emotionless or have derealization,  the wd process would be much easier. It's the dr that makes a person feel entropy, detached, "out of it" and a list of other sxs.

 

My wd was mostly derealization or cog fog you could call it; once it goes, you feel way better.

 

Being emotionally flat drains the colors out of one's life: no motivation, hope, desires or any other "feeling".

 

Get well soon and just distract. It's really all one can do.

 

❤️

 

 

[[Dr...]]

Emotional flatness stems from derealization as well: numbed emotions, fatigue, feeling flat and detached.

 

I would personally find some techniques to stem the dr and apathy online; there's many great coping skills and ways of grounding yourself.

 

You know, if a person didn't feel so emotionless or have derealization,  the wd process would be much easier. It's the dr that makes a person feel entropy, detached, "out of it" and a list of other sxs.

 

My wd was mostly derealization or cog fog you could call it; once it goes, you feel way better.

 

Being emotionally flat drains the colors out of one's life: no motivation, hope, desires or any other "feeling".

 

Get well soon and just distract. It's really all one can do.

 

❤️

[[Li...]]

Heee flatters,

How is everyone doing? I have finished my zopiclone taper. I the New Year I plan to taper the citalopram ( an antidepressant) I am using. Hopefully that helps me to get my emotions back. I am planning a slow taper.

Huggs Jerry 

[[Th...]]

Citalopram was the start of my anhedonia. So definitely a possibility in my mind. Definitely go for that slow taper.

 

I got tested for sibo. I was told it can affect mood and healing.

 

Fingers crossed for both of us.

[[Fi...]]

Hi,

 

I'm new to this group.

 

I've been experiencing anhedonia since my surgery setback in July.  I can feel grief, anger and despair but no optimism or spark for life.

 

I also just started tapering Mirtazapine that I've been on since October. That may be in the mix as well though I had anhedonia before that.

 

I hope this can lift soon.

 

Final healing

[[Th...]]

Hi healing.

 

Mirtazapine worsened my anhedonia. As for anhedonia worsened from surgery im guessing it was from the anesthetic? 

 

[[Li...]]

Citalopram was the start of my anhedonia. So definitely a possibility in my mind. Definitely go for that slow taper.

 

I got tested for sibo. I was told it can affect mood and healing.

 

Fingers crossed for both of us.

 

What is sibo?

 

Ahh I found it, is it a bacterial overgrowth of the small intestines?

[[Fi...]]

Hi healing.

 

Mirtazapine worsened my anhedonia. As for anhedonia worsened from surgery im guessing it was from the anesthetic?

 

Yes, both insomnia and anhedonia (among other symptoms) are from the anesthesia. It's actually good to know that Mirtazapine made your anhedonoa worse.

 

Are you off of it now? I can't wait to be off though I have a ways to go.

[[Th...]]

Citalopram was the start of my anhedonia. So definitely a possibility in my mind. Definitely go for that slow taper.

 

I got tested for sibo. I was told it can affect mood and healing.

 

Fingers crossed for both of us.

 

What is sibo?

 

Ahh I found it, is it a bacterial overgrowth of the small intestines?

Yep that's the one.

[[Th...]]

Hi healing.

 

Mirtazapine worsened my anhedonia. As for anhedonia worsened from surgery im guessing it was from the anesthetic?

 

Yes, both insomnia and anhedonia (among other symptoms) are from the anesthesia. It's actually good to know that Mirtazapine made your anhedonoa worse.

 

Are you off of it now? I can't wait to be off though I have a ways to go.

I am off, I CTed it so it got worse. Slow taper if you can.

But Im better than I was last year. Last year I didn't even have the motivation to eat or move. So I know it can improve.

[[Fi...]]

Yes, I'm slow tapering now.  I really regret being back on Mirt again.  Hopes it would help me sleep but no such luck.

 

How much Mirt were you on when you CT?

 

I'm not planning on a CT, I'm just glad to see that you feel better now even after a CT. Gives me hope.