Anhedonia and emotional flatness support group; never being happy, never sad

[[Th...]]

They had me on 15mg of mirt.

[[Fi...]]

That's a big dose to jump from and I'm glad you are feeling better.

 

FH

[[Li...]]

Ha flatters,

This time of year is always weird for me. I think I am supposed to feel the coziness and specialness of the Christmas days. I feel nothing extra. Nothing special. I have a light sense that the days are different than normal., like I have a kind of feeling of every day in the week. I have practiced today on my electronic saxophone, with a new book with Bach ‘shapes’, short phrases. I also played a bit on the Jamulus app. And I have been swimming in a very quiet pool, where i accidentally met some friends. I want to wish you all good holidays, even though you probably feel not really different than normal.   

Jerry

[[Th...]]

Ha flatters,

This time of year is always weird for me. I think I am supposed to feel the coziness and specialness of the Christmas days. I feel nothing extra. Nothing special. I have a light sense that the days are different than normal., like I have a kind of feeling of every day in the week. I have practiced today on my electronic saxophone, with a new book with Bach ‘shapes’, short phrases. I also played a bit on the Jamulus app. And I have been swimming in a very quiet pool, where i accidentally met some friends. I want to wish you all good holidays, even though you probably feel not really different than normal.   

Jerry

lol yep just another day, I was thinking about it myself. I am unaffected. I would like to feel something like cozy. Would be best christmas gift ever. I find it amazing that even with anhedonia you play saxophone. Hope you all make it through the holidays and your symptoms lessen. ❤️

[[Li...]]

Any others, without emotions? 

Jerry

[[Fi...]]

I don't have joyful or happy emotions. I can't feel optimism or a spark for life.

 

I can feel grief, sadness and anger.

[[Li...]]

I don't have joyful or happy emotions. I can't feel optimism or a spark for life.

 

I can feel grief, sadness and anger.

 

I can’t feel any emotion, the last emotion I had was sadness. I had tears when my mother died, two and a half years ago, but to say that I was really sad, no!

 

[[Fi...]]

Anhedonia is a terrible symptom. 

 

I can't wait for it to lift.

[[Fi...]]

Hi,

 

I wanted to share that my anhedonia finally lifted in mid February.

 

I had it for 6.5 months after surgery and anesthesia. Mine was one where I could not feel any joy, pleasure or optimism but I could feel sorrow, anger and grief.

 

I currently am tapering Mirtazapine and for 3 months I went through withdrawal on top of the anhedonia. I am currently experiencing withdrawal but not having the anhedonia makes it easier even if it is not easy right now.

 

My setback was very severe and anhedonia was my worst symptoms among the many I had. I'm sharing this to offer hope that our brains do heal with time.

 

Final Healing

 

[[Sc...]]

Hi Final Healing,

 

I'm so happy to see your anhedonia is lifting. It has been one of the most difficult withdrawal symptoms for me and it's reassuring to see it improve in others on this board. Can you tell me more about the setback with your surgery and how you knew the anhedonia was related? The reason I ask is I had my knee meniscus repaired on March 17th of 2022 (almost a year ago). They put me under via anesthesia as well and now I'm wondering if that played into my situation. My doc slashed my benzo dosage in half ~2 months after surgery and I bet we can all figure out what happened next. Anyway, I am now in the tapering trenches and understand what is going on but curious about your experience. Last year was a great storm in my life, filled with trauma and multiple breaking points so it's difficult to really pinpoint what caused what but I'm finding peace in learning which elements of the storm caused my behavior during the time. I felt very unlike myself so being able to put answers (even clinically convoluted ones) to these questions really help.

 

Thank you and I wish you so much more healing.

[[Fi...]]

Hi Final Healing,

 

I'm so happy to see your anhedonia is lifting. It has been one of the most difficult withdrawal symptoms for me and it's reassuring to see it improve in others on this board. Can you tell me more about the setback with your surgery and how you knew the anhedonia was related? The reason I ask is I had my knee meniscus repaired on March 17th of 2022 (almost a year ago). They put me under via anesthesia as well and now I'm wondering if that played into my situation. My doc slashed my benzo dosage in half ~2 months after surgery and I bet we can all figure out what happened next. Anyway, I am now in the tapering trenches and understand what is going on but curious about your experience. Last year was a great storm in my life, filled with trauma and multiple breaking points so it's difficult to really pinpoint what caused what but I'm finding peace in learning which elements of the storm caused my behavior during the time. I felt very unlike myself so being able to put answers (even clinically convoluted ones) to these questions really help.

 

Thank you and I wish you so much more healing.

 

Yes, anhedonia is one of the worst symptoms anyone could have.

 

The anesthesia in my case totally incapacitated me. For 3 months. Even though I told the anesthesiologist that I did not want benzos, opiods or Fluoroquinolone antibiotics, I dod not anticipate the steroid and other meds he used. I also was 1.5 years off of benzos and not completely healed.

 

I had severe symptoms including insomnia, sensitivity to light and sound, rumination, depression, burning skin and anhedonia. The anhedonia started pretty soon after where I just felt flat and could not experience happiness.

 

Due to the insomnia and rumination, I ended up on Mirtazapine again. It has been an up and down taper so far and I so wish I hadn't taken it.

 

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.

 

Final Healing

[[Li...]]

Ha Fiona,

My situation is completely different but yet I am suffering from flat emotions (anhedonia?) for appr. 21 years. I think also due to the medication I am still using; an antidepressant, cipramil and anti psychotic, clozapine. Appr. 4 months ago I finally finished my zopiclone taper after a very long use of it. I am planning a cipramil taper soon. Hopefully I get my emotions back. It is very tough to have no emotions at all. So no joy and also no sadness..and no other emotions too.

Jerry