Taper complete "New Thread of my journey off completely"

[[Pa...]]

Anger and rage is a common symptom from what I've read, I didn't experience it but have read quite a few posts about it.  I hope you can recognize it for what it is, just another symptom that will leave when you recover, at least I hope this isn't you, you seem like a positive person, someone who is pretty even tempered.

[[Je...]]

Good evening pamster,

Thank you so much for responding

the anger it’s a symptom. i am very positive normally.

 

 

I am at 29days off and  I am so damn anxious today. Last night i woke up all sweaty. I guess rhis is juts part of it. I still have more to recover from i guess. I need to just accept this and be patient with myself. I need to slow down on demanding a ton from myself.

 

not sure what i can do to calm my mind. It’s so raw and uncomfortable. also, has anyone had a tense forhead we’re they frown allot

 

What has  worked or helped you guys?

[[Ka...]]

Jeremyrocks, in those early days of withdrawl using meditation and the like to calm down felt too overwhelming to me and sitting still wasn't possible.  I mostly used distraction - I stayed busy with whatever I could find to fill my days - walking, cleaning closets, cooking, etc.  When I stayed busy, I wasn't in my head so much.  These days I don't have stay so busy and I've developed other coping tools but early on, distraction was my best bet.

[[Pa...]]

I was like Kate08, I've never been able to meditate even in the best of times so keeping busy was what worked for me.  I couldn't sit still, watch TV, read or listen to music so I put my misery to good use with house and yard projects.  I was able to derive a lot of satisfaction and sense of accomplishment by doing this which helped the mental beating I was heaping on myself at the time. 

[[Gi...]]

update

day 12. i slept great and had a decent day

 

anyone have these issues?

problems

anxiety /anxiousness

major hot temperature moments

crave sugar like crazy. (not sure what this is about)

eating to calm myself , gaining weight

emotions all over the place

At day 12 - YEP!  But those things gradually got better and I now have mostly windows.  I’m almost 2 months out now.  You’ll keep getting better as time goes by.

[[Je...]]

today is day 30.. yayayayayayay

 

omg thank you for the replies everyone. It looks like i am already doing the distraction thing also. i can’t meditate yet.

I am also having blood pressure ups and downs. so weird

[[He...]]

I had the fairly extreme BP readings from one end to the other.  At around 9 months or so, it started consistently reading very low but it's in a safe range. That should settle as time passes.  Keep up the good work!  I don't think you have to worry about meditation. Any time you can just find a peaceful moment or two and sit and try to breathe, it will help.  It doesn't have to be too formal.  Yay you!

 

[[Ka...]]

today is day 30.. yayayayayayay

 

omg thank you for the replies everyone. It looks like i am already doing the distraction thing also. i can’t meditate yet.

I am also having blood pressure ups and downs. so weird

 

jeremyrocks, the BP thing was odd for me.  It was up on occasion as I tapered but it became more consistently elevated after I was off benzos.  I take a low dose BP med daily now.  I have no idea if benzos caused it or if I would have had high BP anyway but taking a small dose of metoprolol daily now seems a small price to pay if it was the benzos.  I got so careless with my dosing at the end of benzo 'career' that I feel grateful to be here now that I can see what I was doing/how I was living with a clear, benzo-free head.  Sheesh ...   

[[Je...]]

Tahnk you guys for the rponses. I cant believe how the body changes from using this medication. I am so grateful to be off.

Time away from the medication is key I guess. I will just keep truckin... gods speed

 

[[Je...]]

morning everyone, last night i couldn’t sleep for more then a hour at a time. i kept waking up soaked in sweat. the last week it seems my sleep has been going down hill. i am on day 33 and just wondering if this is normal.

the first month i slept decent but i feel the tiredness isn’t as bad at night like it was in the beginning and my sleep is going to shit. just curious if this is normal.

 

 

[[Ka...]]

Insomnia didn't begin in earnest for me until I was completely off benzos.  I'm so sorry this is happening to you - it really stinks.  It took me a year to heal and adjust to sleeping with out benzos and Ashton says 6-12 months is the norm.   

[[Je...]]

Awesome, I will give it time and just accept the situation. I didn't know it was 6 to 12 months.

[[Je...]]

hello everyone, just checking in.

question my muscles and tendons are really tight. what did you guys do to help

loosen them up?

 

ideas

epson salt bath

stretch

sauna

any more ideas

 

 

[[Ka...]]

Good hydration, potassium rich foods like bananas and citrus fruits/juices, deep breathing, massage, meditation - all these come to mind, especially if muscle tightness is due to tension.

[[He...]]

I find heating pads and heated neck wraps helpful. 

[Guest [Ro...]]

morning everyone, last night i couldn’t sleep for more then a hour at a time. i kept waking up soaked in sweat. the last week it seems my sleep has been going down hill. i am on day 33 and just wondering if this is normal.

the first month i slept decent but i feel the tiredness isn’t as bad at night like it was in the beginning and my sleep is going to shit. just curious if this is normal.

 

Sorry to hear about your sleep, Jeremy.  That's rough.  I had a lot of really bad sleeping problems including sweats and insomnia during the last part of my taper but I now sleep well so it does get better.  I think it's just part of the process to healing. 

[[Je...]]

Morning everyone. Thank you for the ideas. I will try all that was suggested. I will say all and all it has gotten better but still some issues I am working thru. 

[[Je...]]

morning guys. did anyone have depression that started in the second month? what a rollercoaster this is.

 

Day 40 off

[[Je...]]

day 50

just checking in. feel pretty good then I feel crappy. I am all over the place. its weird that I am always hungry and I crave weird things that I normally would not..

[[Ka...]]

I was just thinking of you jeremyrocks, good to hear from you.  Ups and downs are pretty normal at your point in recovery.  Oh boy, did I have the food craving thing too.  I ate my way through many bags of Lifesaver gummies because for some odd reason, those tasted so good to me!

[[Je...]]

lol did your food cravings go away?

 

my biggest symptoms are

anxious / tired at the same time

angry

crazy thoughts

mild depression

tight muscles and tendons

 

 

[[Ka...]]

Yes, the food problem went away but I had to help it along.  I finally swore off sugar for a while (which was hard) but I figured it was time because I had gained 10 lbs.  Yikes!  The tight muscles and tendons I can really relate to and the rogue thoughts, too.  I still have both of those issues to some degree but they are livable.  I've accepted that the way I feel now is less than perfect and always will be and I no longer try to constantly tweak things with pills or alcohol or anything else for that matter ...

[[Je...]]

well that’s awesome you were able to make friends with the ese symptoms. being so anxious must let up and calm down at some point. Do you know if they have support meetings for this we have gone thru?

i’m 50 days out. i hope it does get better. it doesn’t need to be perfect just livable

[[Ka...]]

well that’s awesome you were able to make friends with the ese symptoms. being so anxious must let up and calm down at some point. Do you know if they have support meetings for this we have gone thru?

i’m 50 days out. i hope it does get better. it doesn’t need to be perfect just livable

 

I'm not aware of any support meetings for benzo withdrawl with the exception of 12 step groups for those who have addiction problems.  Perhaps someone will be along who knows of something.

[[Ma...]]

jeremyrocks, I have just finished reading the whole thread as I am about ready to take my last ativan dose this week. Nervous, of course, but happy to be here, finally. I have had every single symptom you have mentioned, during my taper, and I know they may stick around for a while afterwards. My family and friends just have had no idea about this process and are getting education along with me; they are thinking I'll be done and done...we will all see what actually transpires! So your question about recovery support. I don't do the AA thing or NA thing cuz I can't get behind the non-secular aspect. I have been attending a secular recovery group, LifeRing, since early April. I was desperate for community to help me in this process and understanding and it has more than met my expectations. I will absolutely stay with the meetings (which happen on Zoom and/or in person depending on where you live and all over the globe and at all times of the day) because it is a process that will keep evolving. We are folks from all walks of life, of all attributes, and all there to support each other as we work on our own healing and recovery. Yep, I'm a big fan. But it's upbeat and tender and a place to be vulnerable. BB has been huge for me, too, as I needed the info and compassion I have found here. So, lifering.org if it works for you. Lots of other types of recovery meetings but this org suits me well. today may you find peace within...mamaraven