Derealization

[[de...]]

Can't stand looking in the mirror not knowing what is looking back at me, hard to believe this can happen to us, if I only known then what I know now

 

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After I found out this symptom was real and not me losing it . I have embraced it. I opened up and told people around me. It was weird telling people I dont remember them or that I do or dont like something that I once had.

 

I started making a family tree online to make new memories for those I cant fully remember.

 

Im not sad that I dont remember the feelings that caused my PTSD. I could have done without the rest but if thats what needed to happen to free me so be it

 

Once I changed my mind set from fear of it to understanding Ive been doing much better.

 

Im looking at it as being an adventure... anything is better than getting off 100 MG a day of benzos, in 6 weeks crash and having 4 yrs of my life being a blur  ... and being free of what lead me to the Benzos the rest can be fixed in time.

[[de...]]

Yea acceptance is very important, I just cant stand questioning everything I have ever learned or how things work. Some times very often life just seems very strange there isnt an easy way to explain it. Like I said in a previous post I get these very brief moments of clearness or clarity and they dont last long but its like for that split second I feel as good as I used to years ago, I hope one of those moments becomes permanent

[[Ma...]]

I had DR for a looooong time. For me it began with horrible bouts of anxiety a few years before benzo's.  To me it felt like colors were brighter, familiar places and objects didn't seem so familiar anylonger, I felt very disconnected from my surroundings.  I used to describe it to people as comming off of a bad LSD trip, where things still look a bit off. If anyone has tripped before they can usually relate to that..anyhow, After I was put on klonopin years ago, the anxiety calmed down then the DR slowly, VERY SLOWLY faded away over a period of months.  

 

I have had bouts of it off and on while on klonopin, and now since my titration is complete I will get a bout that last a few days, and then it fades away again.

 

But to those of you wondering if you have experienced it, or wondering what it feels like...as I said the best way to describe what I felt, was comming off a bad LSD trip.

[[Ma...]]

This film I will recommend to everyone. Please watch.

Numb is a 2007 American drama film written and directed by Harris Goldberg. According to an interview with Goldberg on a bonus feature of the DVD release, he was inspired to write the screenplay by his own experience battling depersonalization disorder and clinical depression.

I love it.

 

 

Marija

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Thanks I will check it out, I was doing ok for a bit now the DR/DP is flaring up again along with the intrusive/obsessive thoughts, Watching TV and playing games is a good diversion to take my mind off it

[[1a...]]

i don't know if you have ever smoked pot or not but it reminds me of that without the euphoria....a kind of altered state of consciousness...it can be very disconcerting because it causes one to question their grasp of reality and sanity....i had it the worse when i first tried quitting temazapn before i knew about gradual tapering... i had horrible dr/dp mixed in with extreme anxiety, which felt like a bad lsd trip......thank goodness i went to another dr and got stabalized on klonopin, and then began a very gradual taper... i still get dr occsaionally, but not nearly as intense

[[as...]]

Yep, bad LSD trip and wanting to come down but you can't. That is the only way that I could describe it to my husband, and I got a lot of sympathy after that.

[[Pe...]]

Wow, glad I never tried LSD.

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thanks to everyone on this post.  i am going to read this one everyday because it describes the strangeness i feel.  i have not been able to describe it except weirdness.  like i am not me.  sort of electrified like a bad lsd trip that does not stop.  it is the scariest thing for me - i have had depression before and anx before - a lot - in my life but i never had this oddness with it - like i am not me in it. it really adds that crazy element.  thanks for your time and honesty. i really luvv u guys.  it is late and i am not sleepy and had that "can i really make it?" feeling, but after reading  your writings i know i can and that i'm not alone in this nightmare. 

[[ju...]]

I've come to look at these d/r episodes as repeat trips to the funhouse. The symptoms thereof make great material, if one is an artist of any type, although it gets a bit buggy in those hard-core real-life situations.

 

However , it might be more problematic if I had, and drove, a car. This ain't no video game, so-and-so. Y'know?

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that's interesting Julia.  i am a writer but when i am in that wave of confusion i can't seem to do anything.  i wish i could write about it.  i am going to check this out.  it is so true what others have said about how hard it is to describe.  got the movie numb that marry wrote of from net flix.  guess it's about benzo's.  the numb that has matthew perry in it.  luv you buds

[[de...]]

Been getting this again, my mind is trying to convince me that life isnt real, its virtual reality and we are the sims or lemmings or whatever we are. The DR/DP isnt letting up, how long does this last? 3 months have passed and im not sure if I'll ever be right again

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i read on here that thinking we will not get well is a sx.  it's one of the worst ones because feeling like this is so uncomfortable; having a tough day today but maybe getting thru the tough days is making me stronger; does not feel that way but i bet it is; we can do this; we can do anything.