The Long Hold Support Group

[[Gi...]]

Gingermint I'm sorry you have this too. Do these periods last very long for you? This started for me about two months ago. I used to have more fear. Now the fear has some what diminished although it's still there, and I'm blessed with this new symptom.

 

Sometimes it will last all day.  Sometimes I feel great and it will come on very quickly often accompanied by head pressure.  Then I may go days or weeks without and it will resurface again.  In 2018 I did  seven month hold and it and all wd sx went away until I started to taper again.

 

It is common for sx to come and go, be replaced by different sx and then resurface much later.  It's a crap shoot.  I just read an article by a doctor in the UK.  He said it takes the brain and CNS two years to heal after all of the drug is out of your body,  but that generally every month gets a bit better.  Of course this could vary person to person.  G

[[ja...]]

Is it normal to be bed bound?

Each time I am up I have head pressure and feel like I need to lay down , I am worried that valium turned toxic on me.

I am also pms. I might have my periods soon. In a day or two.

[[ki...]]

Is it normal to be bed bound?

Each time I am up I have head pressure and feel like I need to lay down , I am worried that valium turned toxic on me.

I am also pms. I might have my periods soon. In a day or two.

 

After I reinstated I had really bad head pressure and felt like I needed to lay down all the time. I don’t think the Valium has turned toxic on you, I think you are still adjusting to being back on a benzo. Your period is likely not helping things. Lots of women, including myself have their worst symptoms crop up during ovulation and onset of menstruation. Hang in there. You sound so much better than you did. All of us can see it in your posts.

[[ja...]]

Thanks kit

How long did this last for you?

[[va...]]

Thanks kit

How long did this last for you?

 

Jasmine I agree with kitsunes wise words. These symptoms sound awful but when you first got here you were so much worse. I hope you slowly see some improvement. Be patient 🙏

[[ki...]]

Thanks kit

How long did this last for you?

 

I still have it from time to time, but it took about 2 months to not feel so overwhelming.

[[ja...]]

Thanks kit

The head pressure was intense today until I took my evening dose of 5mg of valium.

I keep reading on the forum how people who re instated have the benzo turn against them. And that scares me that this could be what is happening and that I will be trapped like this for the rest of my life.

[[ja...]]

I just took a Tylenol . Hope.it won't Rev me.up

Couldn't deal with the migraine anymore.

I was in bed the whole day. I think this pms is pretty bad.

[[...]]

Thanks kit

The head pressure was intense today until I took my evening dose of 5mg of valium.

I keep reading on the forum how people who re instated have the benzo turn against them. And that scares me that this could be what is happening and that I will be trapped like this for the rest of my life.

 

I just don't believe it'll turn against you Jasmine. Maybe some of the newer generation benzos but not Valium. Of course I'm talking through experience and we're all different. Some may have a paradoxical reaction no matter what they take but I believe that's very rare. Please don't let that be a excuse to start tapering too soon or too fast.

[[...]]

Maybe others can add to this because I can only talk through experience. Having gone through both, it seems to me that tolerance and WD are two different animals. Tolerance happens when we reach a tipping point, when our gaba receptors have down regulated to the point where the benzo is no longer having a therapeutic effect and glutamate is running rampant. For me it was confusion, anxiety, insomnia. WD (from what I experienced in CT) is when we deprive what we've become physically and mentally dependent on. It was much worst for me: all the above symptoms and including physical pain, fear, paranoia, loss of coordination, the shakes, brain zaps, tinnitus..So it seems to me, in a sense, we are experiencing both tolerance and WD. Our receptors are still down regulated and it takes a long time for them to heal and we're going through WD by tapering. So the question I have is if we hold at a dose for a long time will that cause our receptors to down regulate even more? It's already reached a point where it says "no more". Does the body say "OK now I'm setting a new threshold and I'm going to down regulate even more"? From what I experienced I don't think that's the case because I believe we're healing while we're tapering, especially when we hold. But I could be wrong.

 

[[De...]]

Hi jwl,

That's interesting what you said. I definitely think we are healing while we hold or taper. I think because we feel almost or somewhat stable on the dose we are on now. I cant imagine being ever sx free like I was before the wd started. I'm not even sure why it happened. I started taking less and less them crazy sx. But for close to 16 yrs I had no problems. I did relapse drinking and I quit then after few months later I got hit. I started reading about it and I was terrified. Maybe I did it to myself, maybe if I didnt read about it I wouldn't have freaked out. Idk. I think of that sometimes too. The whole thing baffles me. I think about it all the time.

[[...]]

Hi jwl,

That's interesting what you said. I definitely think we are healing while we hold or taper. I think because we feel almost or somewhat stable on the dose we are on now. I cant imagine being ever sx free like I was before the wd started. I'm not even sure why it happened. I started taking less and less them crazy sx. But for close to 16 yrs I had no problems. I did relapse drinking and I quit then after few months later I got hit. I started reading about it and I was terrified. Maybe I did it to myself, maybe if I didnt read about it I wouldn't have freaked out. Idk. I think of that sometimes too. The whole thing baffles me. I think about it all the time.

 

I think you're right D. If you're somewhat stable and I'm completely symptom free after a 2 year hold, there has to be some healing there, right? But we can't make a blanket statement that it applies to everyone. IDK either, it is very complicated and confusing.

 

I was the same way, everything was fine then suddenly it stopped working. I tried upping the dose and it didn't help. It was very scary. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.

 

Yes alcohol and benzos don't mix as they are very similar chemically speaking. That's why alcohol WDs are very similar to benzos. At least we don't have to worry about our livers 

[[De...]]

Me to hwl! I really thought I was crazy. It was so scary. Thank goodness we ate past those horrible days. We will be e ok. Gnight!!!

[[ja...]]

Jwl, thanks for the reassurance.

Boy last night,  I shook all the time.

And I have this pain in the back of my head like someone hit me.

I thought I wouldn't make it.

Shaking,  anxiety,  fear,  intrusive thoughts.

I had to take my valium.dose if 11am.at 6am to calm down.

I don't know if it was because of the tylenol I took last night or the start of my periods.  It felt like i made a cut.

[[no...]]

Jwl, thanks for the reassurance.

Boy last night,  I shook all the time.

And I have this pain in the back of my head like someone hit me.

I thought I wouldn't make it.

Shaking,  anxiety,  fear,  intrusive thoughts.

I had to take my valium.dose if 11am.at 6am to calm down.

I don't know if it was because of the tylenol I took last night or the start of my periods.  It felt like i made a cut.

Its  definitely your period sweetie  due to the hormonal changes it will pass you will feel a LOT better again shortly just you wait and see it 

 

                                Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[ki...]]

Jwl, thanks for the reassurance.

Boy last night,  I shook all the time.

And I have this pain in the back of my head like someone hit me.

I thought I wouldn't make it.

Shaking,  anxiety,  fear,  intrusive thoughts.

I had to take my valium.dose if 11am.at 6am to calm down.

I don't know if it was because of the tylenol I took last night or the start of my periods.  It felt like i made a cut.

Its  definitely your period sweetie  due to the hormonal changes it will pass you will feel a LOT better again shortly just you wait and see it 

 

                                Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Jasmine, I agree with Nova. After the first couple days of your period you will start to feel A LOT better. Hang tight. ❤️

[[ja...]]

I spent my whole day shaking and crying and I am rely convinced that I won't make it until this week end. So much anxiety, my teeth are chattering. My breasts are so painful. It is horrible. The SI are back.

[[...]]

I spent my whole day shaking and crying and I am rely convinced that I won't make it until this week end. So much anxiety, my teeth are chattering. My breasts are so painful. It is horrible. The SI are back.

 

I'm sorry Jasmine. It's probably "cortisol tremors" from your hormonal imbalance right now. High cortisol also causes muscle tension. I'm sure it'll pass.

[[Tr...]]

I spent my whole day shaking and crying and I am rely convinced that I won't make it until this week end. So much anxiety, my teeth are chattering. My breasts are so painful. It is horrible. The SI are back.

It sounds like pms to me. You were doing just fine until you went into pms. Everything is magnified during pms and believe me I know I had the worst pms on the planet just ask my family. It'll pass after you get your period.

[[Ma...]]

Hey Trishy, love and thinking about you TT 🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘😘😷😷😷😷😷🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[[St...]]

I spent my whole day shaking and crying and I am rely convinced that I won't make it until this week end. So much anxiety, my teeth are chattering. My breasts are so painful. It is horrible. The SI are back.

Morning Jasmine why won't you make it to the weekend?lf you are considering harming yourself tell your husband and sister please.

You are having pms honey nothing that most women have to deal with even without the added impact of reinstating drugs and trying to stabilise.We all have bad spells and we have to just get through the best we can.love you.X

[[St...]]

Maybe others can add to this because I can only talk through experience. Having gone through both, it seems to me that tolerance and WD are two different animals. Tolerance happens when we reach a tipping point, when our gaba receptors have down regulated to the point where the benzo is no longer having a therapeutic effect and glutamate is running rampant. For me it was confusion, anxiety, insomnia. WD (from what I experienced in CT) is when we deprive what we've become physically and mentally dependent on. It was much worst for me: all the above symptoms and including physical pain, fear, paranoia, loss of coordination, the shakes, brain zaps, tinnitus..So it seems to me, in a sense, we are experiencing both tolerance and WD. Our receptors are still down regulated and it takes a long time for them to heal and we're going through WD by tapering. So the question I have is if we hold at a dose for a long time will that cause our receptors to down regulate even more? It's already reached a point where it says "no more". Does the body say "OK now I'm setting a new threshold and I'm going to down regulate even more"? From what I experienced I don't think that's the case because I believe we're healing while we're tapering, especially when we hold. But I could be wrong.

  Morning LWT l can't really pinpoint when l hit tolerance to be honest with you.l began noticing things very slowly and gradually agitation,dp/Dr , depression, lack of emotions,ocd, poor sleep, agoraphobia, poor balance, dizziness etc have to say they cycled throw just like withdrawal symptoms.I must admit l didn't really put two and two together for a very long time.l just knew something was very wrong.l would say similar to tapering in some regards however the biggest difference would definitely be intensity and other symptoms added in.

I would definitely not be holding as much if l didn't believe in healing l can actually see it in some respects.l am dreaming again,l can cry again however not totally back to normal yet,l can find the humour in things again, my mood swings have definitely improved, my depression has lessened etc.

The thing l do find is l don't stabilise as much as most here and l do believe that is due to tolerance.l know  there are only two ways to get out of tolerance and that is upping your dose or getting off.That is why l am surprised you ended up feeling so good after holding so long l wonder had you tapered any other drug before your symptoms started?

  Have you resumed your taper?l really hope it is uneventful honey.love you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Trish are you feeling any better pet?Are you still dealing with intrusive thoughts?l wonder did you perhaps overextend yourself when you went out shopping? Listen honey you know how this goes things come and go and given enough time it will settle down.l know it's frustrating and soul destroying but it is what it is and we just have to keep going regardless.You can do this honey and as for getting off well forget about that for now.You can only do your best.I have always said get as low as you can and that will be enough.l am willing you on honey.love you my lST X

Morning Suzy did you enjoy getting out to the pub legally 🤔😉.I can't wait to be like you 🙄. How's it going your end? Still feeling the gaba withdrawal symptoms?l hope you enjoy your day honey.love you.X

Morning Val welcome to my world damn dizziness has been my most predominant symptom.l have had it for years.l really hope it passes for you honey.l also get a lot of fullness in my ears but l really don't know if it is coming from my ears or not.Hang in there my lovely.love you.X

Morning Ginger how are you doing?l hope your symptoms have eased off? Thinking of you.love you.X

Morning Kit spoke to you over on the village blog.love you.X

Morning Lady Mary, Nova Miyu Bill NJ,GP, Olive Gilly Valley Meems Esperanza Intend Final Gypsy Troch Unknown Free and everyone here sending you my love.X

[[ja...]]

I started spotting. Thanks god.

Anxiety is less overwhelming but I keep.shaking.  like I have akithesia, my legs, or my hands. I hope all my pms won't be like this on my hold. I am.worried that the valium stopped working for me. And that my akathisia is back.

Depression has lifted.

Did anyone have the shake?

[[ja...]]

I spent my whole day shaking and crying and I am rely convinced that I won't make it until this week end. So much anxiety, my teeth are chattering. My breasts are so painful. It is horrible. The SI are back.

Morning Jasmine why won't you make it to the weekend?lf you are considering harming yourself tell your husband and sister please.

You are having pms honey nothing that most women have to deal with even without the added impact of reinstating drugs and trying to stabilise.We all have bad spells and we have to just get through the best we can.love you.X

 

Stut,

Did you feel.good on 7.5mg of valium for 10 years?