The Long Hold Support Group

[[Fi...]]

This particular group might have excellent advice and I've recently began holding for awhile.  May I join ?

 

Welcome Breck.  Happy to have you join. This is a very supportive and engaged group. 

[[Ma...]]

Hey Breck, glad to have you!  Mary 💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Hi Mm,  I do the same thing. It is so scary. Jim says not to worry. I thinl the same thing. You would feel this way too. We need our meds. I freaked out last weak thinking thr worst. I wasnt going to get them and down the rabbit whole i went. I wad thinking i would get then ofg the streets. Everything turned out fine.  Plus you are so honest. She knows you are tapering off. Ples we have these neuro emotions. I was reading about them. So we feel our emotions soooo much more intense. I do understand. I worry about that same thing. I really believe it will work out.  Shes beeb working with you this long so i think she trusts you. Love you. I am ok just kind of blah. No drama today from me. Yet!!!  :thumbsup: dd

 

:smitten:

[[Br...]]

Wow.....you guys are welcoming !  My sig basically says a lot.  Since the end of April I've tapered down quite a bit and have been paying the price. A couple of months ago my goal became to simply get to .5 mg K and once I made it.....hold....hopefully stabilize and rethink the whole deal.  My (current) definition of stabilization is no symptoms ( Christmas Wish) so I'm gonna hang at this dose and find out if that theory is delusional. Only one way to find out........ 

[[Ma...]]

Well Breck, that was pretty fast.  Holding was probably pretty wise if your symptoms are rough.  I don't want to assume you want us to say anything about your plan.  If you ever want to reach out for any reason, we are here hoping for your Christmas wish  . 

[[Br...]]

Well Breck, that was pretty fast.  Holding was probably pretty wise if your symptoms are rough.  I don't want to assume you want us to say anything about your plan.  If you ever want to reach out for any reason, we are here hoping for your Christmas wish

 

Currently my plan is to hold until Elvis or the next glacial age decides to arrive    After that happens, I might think about moving forward.  I'm sure I'll have questions during my hold or moving forward.  Thank you for the kind words.

[[va...]]

Well Breck, that was pretty fast.  Holding was probably pretty wise if your symptoms are rough.  I don't want to assume you want us to say anything about your plan.  If you ever want to reach out for any reason, we are here hoping for your Christmas wish

 

Currently my plan is to hold until Elvis or the next glacial age decides to arrive    After that happens, I might think about moving forward.  I'm sure I'll have questions during my hold or moving forward.  Thank you for the kind words.

 

Breck some of us are holding too with no immediate plans to taper. I am improving since holding but very slowly. I'm giving it a few more months to see how much I can improve before resuming my taper. You are very welcome to be here and I'm so glad you found the group.

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG, just want to tell everybody "good morning/afternoon".  Hoping today is always a little better than yesterday.  Love you guys  :smitten:  Mary

We have a new member of the group from yesterday, Breck, incase you want to say "hi". 

[[Fi...]]

Good morning LHSG, just want to tell everybody "good morning/afternoon".  Hoping today is always a little better than yesterday.  Love you guys  :smitten:  Mary

We have a new member of the group from yesterday, Breck, incase you want to say "hi". 

 

Hi Mary,

 

I hope today is a little better for you.  I know these withdrawal symptoms will pass for us but when they are hanging around, it feel like forever. 

 

Take good care of yourself and I hope the eye that got treatment is healing. 

[[De...]]

Hi MM!

Hope your are not worrying too much  Im a little slow today. So bear with me if i dont make sense! Ha.  I hope that eye is healing! Dont overdo it. Love you dd.

Hope everyone is feeling ok and know this will get better!

 

Ill be back later when i can think. Hehe 

 

Welcome again breck!!!

 

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG, just want to tell everybody "good morning/afternoon".  Hoping today is always a little better than yesterday.  Love you guys  :smitten:  Mary

We have a new member of the group from yesterday, Breck, incase you want to say "hi". 

 

Hi Mary,

 

I hope today is a little better for you.  I know these withdrawal symptoms will pass for us but when they are hanging around, it feel like forever. 

 

Take good care of yourself and I hope the eye that got treatment is healing.

You too FH  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Hi MM!

Hope your are not worrying too much  Im a little slow today. So bear with me if i dont make sense! Ha.  I hope that eye is healing! Dont overdo it. Love you dd.

Hope everyone is feeling ok and know this will get better!

 

Ill be back later when i can think. Hehe 

 

Welcome again breck!!!

I'm a little slow too DD. 

[[De...]]

Omg M,

All i can say today is duh 

[[NJ...]]

I wanted to post as it has been a while for me posting in this group, although I do read from time to time and post elsewhere on BB.

 

I am now a year into my very long hold. I am a month into my new, work from home job, and I am so very, very grateful to be working from home. The job feels a bit overwhelming at times but I know I am still very much in an adjustment period. Still trying to figure out best schedule to work but I am getting closer I think to figuring this out.

 

My son's health continues to be up and down. August was a nightmare.  Had 20 days off between the jobs and felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown he was so sick. He just got a new diagnosis last week likely caused by his long term use of prednisone, which we are now trying to wean him off again, but at a slower pace. I am not real optimistic this will work but I am trying to be optimistic.

 

I still am very symptomatic from anxiety at times, which definitely coincides with my cycle, I am 50 and this perio-menopause is kicking me in the butt. Then there are days like today, where I slept fine, woke up feeling great and within an hour have nearly debilitating GI issues. And is this still being sensitives to benzos and my various attempts to taper, or just a lot of continued stress, new job, sick kid, hormones, etc. I guess it really doesn't matter but I would like a way to find more good days. I am tired of the GI symptoms that have persisted for so many years. I am finally having better Sundays, the horribly depressed/nonfunctioning Sunday days are now a thing (mostly) of the past. I am using the medical marijuana much less frequently and wonder if that might be contributing to the GI distress, some sort of withdrawal symptom from that. But it seems so random, and I think I am still suffering from many food intolerance issues that I have yet to figure out. I know I do much better when I only eat food at home but of course I occasionally want to get a break from cooking and eat out!

 

I know many continue to struggle, and I wish that weren't so. I do know that this very long hold which followed my updose was the right decision at the time and continues to be. I have thought about tapering but with so many variables I can't figure out this does not seem like the right time yet. I just wonder if I would feel better eventually being off. I know others have.

 

Best wishes to everyone.

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Omg M,

All i can say today is duh 

 

Perfect 

[[De...]]

Hehe, I still feel duh.  Oh my left eye goes blurry at night! It.l.id do so.weird. My eyes feel very strange and look off. The muscle pain is gone today and went to the eyes. This is insane. I feel like its making me crazy.  oh mm, wjy cant this drug lay off our muscles 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hehe, I still feel duh.  Oh my left eye goes blurry at night! It.l.id do so.weird. My eyes feel very strange and look off. The muscle pain is gone today and went to the eyes. This is insane. I feel like its making me crazy.  oh mm, wjy cant this drug lay off our muscles 

 

My left eye has been weaker my whole life, and benzo's have messed with it since the crossover to Valium.  That's one reason I can't always tell how well the procedure did, the damn benzo's messing with my eyes.  I only have pain once in awhile but blurring and my eye feels too big for the socket.

You and I have a lot of the same symptoms, oh lucky us.  I had been exercising again and now I feel like I pulled a muscle in my left hip and I have no idea how.  :tickedoff:  No one but all of us could believe this crap. 

That's why I want to hold and hopefully just let it go for awhile, and just believe my brain is healing  :D

[[De...]]

Mm,

We do have alot of the same sx. My left eye is wrorse than the right. I wear contacts. I am so blind. I have my close up vision for now.  My eyes just feel tight and sensitive and kind of hard to keep them open. I know it must be hard to tell how well the proc worked. I can really feel the eye stuff too. These drugs suck. It will eventually go away for us. The benzos just love our muscles. I het the hip stuff too. The back. It will go away. We are going to get better. I think we need to slow down. Lucky us! I am do glad you are exercising again! I didnt for a few days snd my mood and sx seemed worse. This is a bad dream. Omg. Love u dd

[[De...]]

Hi again mm jim was talking while i was writing. I couldn't think. We are going to.make it through this. Its a hell ride but we are healing everyday even though it doesnt feel.that way. 

We do this together 

[[Ma...]]

Hi again mm jim was talking while i was writing. I couldn't think. We are going to.make it through this. Its a hell ride but we are healing everyday even though it doesnt feel.that way. 

We do this together 

 

We do......DD....I could not do this without my friends on here.  They make my life so much better and I know you are making friends everywhere you go, cause you are just a wonderful, funny woman , we are all glad to have you in our life 💜💜💜💜

[[De...]]

Hi mm, I couldnt do this without you guys. There are so many kind people here  that support us through this l. I am so grateful to have found bb. I am grateful  i found  you.  Actually you found me! You are an angel!

[[va...]]

Hi NJSTRENGTH.

 

I understand how reluctant you must be to resume the taper. One year is a good hold. Have your withdrawal symptoms continued improving throughout all this year? Your main symptoms are GI issues and once you mentioned low resistance to stress too? Did you have GI issues before tapering? Ideally I would wait until your son is doing better before tapering again, but as you're not sure when that will be, maybe wait for a bit until you're really settled into the new job and it's become routinary, and then consider a very small 5% cut and see how you react to that? That's what I'm doing in January. I'm waiting for now to see if I improve more. I can't imagine having a big problem with this level of chemical anxiety, but a problem can happen any time in life, like it's happening to you, so we have to take it slow and be as stable as possible. But yes, one year holding is a while. I tell you, maybe wait until you can do this job with your eyes closed, a couple months, and then cut 5%? And how was your stomach before tapering k? Just to make sure it's all benzo related. MJ made me sleep but made me depressed. And Baylissa says it can interfere with withdrawal. As with everything, there are different opinions, testimonies, etc. And I hate the smell, the taste and everything about it. I'd kill for a beer though, but now I doubt I'll ever be able to have one. This hold has helped me get better but I'm better, but coming from a terrible place. Chinchuk was describing how she was in terror 24/7 and everyone was chiming in encouraging her. I was exactly in the same situation and getting zero sleep. I had intrusives every single night. I'm so glad I updosed and got out of that. Now my anxiety and depression are bad, I write between 4 and 6 to measure them each day. But I'm no longer in that awful hole. I'm holding to see how much stability I can get, but how stable can you become by holding!? No idea, it depends on how damaged we are I guess. How long is a too long hold? I remember reading about one year holds in valley's propaganda, no recall of more than that. Maybe read it again? For me, being absolutely functional is essential. If I even look like less than superwoman, my ex can come creeping to try to get my daughter just to get child support from me, which he has never paid in ten years. He's a gambling addict and aggressive. I'm not risking her going with him. And in summer I saw that risk. Also, my father who is a narcopath, if he suspected I'm with psychiatrist problems could try take my daughter away to destroy her like he did with me, and of course try to control my finances. When I was in acute withdrawal in summer I feared that so much. I think not only our symptoms but our CIRCUMSTANCES have to mark at what pace we can taper, and whether we can taper at all. Yes, it's terrible to be on this in the long run, but we have to deal with today. Nobody else is going to do it for us, at least not for me.

 

I hope you find the decision that's best for you NJ, and I send lots of love to you and your son, hoping he starts getting much better.

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Good morning NJ always great to get an update on how you are my lovely friend.l would actually be extremely surprised if you weren't feeling this way going through the worry regarding your son.Ofcourse the previous tapers are perhaps having some affect however who knows how much.

Perimenopause is a hard time for any woman as it can increase any condition.Again it is something we have to deal with and as much as l don't think it ever goes away completely it does become more manageable over time.

I am sorry to hear your son is still not stable l have hope that he will get a treatment that works for him full-time.Try to take it one day at a time my love and do the best you can.That is all any of us can do.

Love to you and your son.X

[[St...]]

To all newbies welcome to the LHSG it is never easy to hold however sometimes we must and it takes a long time to stabilise.Remember holding is not a quick fix so you may feel worse before you begin very gradually to feel better.Keep a journal and review each month how you are doing.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Good morning Vali l am so sorry you are feeling depressed however l think it is one of the withdrawal symptoms that most people have to some degree.Let's face it this would depress anyone.Try to not feed into your fears honey.Review your hold in 6 months and see what your thoughts are then.l know there is a lot of talk of tolerance etc on this forum however l believe if you started of on your taper fairly stable you will be ok.Try to keep your chin up.love to you.