The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

Good morning Suzy you are doing well honey just try not to play into the anxiety.Practice slow breathing techniques, don't Google symptoms, don't constantly talk about withdrawal and do what you can.Be kind to yourself.This too shall pass.love you.

[[St...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

[[St...]]

Good morning hen lovely to see posts from you my love.Try not to worry about the doctor yes they want people off these drugs however you are tapering so you are not going to be targeted.I really think you just have to be firm and let's face it she has no reason to go against your wishes.

Break yourself into exercising slowly honey and rest those peepers.

Love you my lady Mary.

[[St...]]

Good morning Trish,Intend, Esperanza,Bill,Free,Nova,Gilly and everyone here a little word from each of you would be great if you can.Thinking of you all and hoping everything is going well.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[Br...]]

To all newbies welcome to the LHSG it is never easy to hold however sometimes we must and it takes a long time to stabilise.Remember holding is not a quick fix so you may feel worse before you begin very gradually to feel better.Keep a journal and review each month how you are doing.

 

I'm learning the above to be factual.  In addition I've began reading older posts in this group to gain more wisdom.  Thank you for the welcome !

[[Tr...]]

Hey Stut my twin and fellow long holders!

Stut I've just been hanging around living life the best I can. I've mostly just been taking care of my family. I have to get my granddaughter off to school this morning as my daughter and her husband have to be in work earlier on Wednesdays so I get the pleasure of getting her breakfast, dressed and on the school bus 😃 if it weren't for my grandchildren I'm not sure there would be any light in my life right now. I'm still struggling with symtoms of POTS and pvc's have shown their ugly head 🤬.. How I hate those! Doing my best to ignore symtoms but sometimes it's impossible. I'm beginning to feel a little lonely during the day wishing I was working but know that I can't possibly work with school age children again. I can't afford to get sick and I'm in no shape to do it anymore anyway. I wrote you a very long post many pages back and in that post I mentioned how my nephew was just diagnosed with POTS! I couldn't believe it! I haven't talked to him about it yet but I hope to soon. So that's about it with me. How are you doing these days? How are your wd sxs? Hopefully not giving you much grief. I think there end of October is my next cut. I talked it over with my therapist and I'd like to make two cuts by the end of December to bring me to 1 mg again. I'm hoping to be able to do that but we'll see what the tide brings in 🙄.. Anywho twin I hope everything is going well with you and hopefully you're getting out and about enjoying your days.

 

Love you woman!

LST❤️

[[St...]]

To all newbies welcome to the LHSG it is never easy to hold however sometimes we must and it takes a long time to stabilise.Remember holding is not a quick fix so you may feel worse before you begin very gradually to feel better.Keep a journal and review each month how you are doing.

 

I'm learning the above to be factual.  In addition I've began reading older posts in this group to gain more wisdom.  Thank you for the welcome !

  Morning Breck it is indeed very true in my case that is why so many people find holding difficult.lt takes a lot of faith to hold when things get worse.l think a long hold should be a minimum of 3 months then at 6 months you should have some idea if it is going to work for you or not.

  If l see Elvis l will give you a shout 😉.X

[[St...]]

Hey Stut my twin and fellow long holders!

Stut I've just been hanging around living life the best I can. I've mostly just been taking care of my family. I have to get my granddaughter off to school this morning as my daughter and her husband have to be in work earlier on Wednesdays so I get the pleasure of getting her breakfast, dressed and on the school bus 😃 if it weren't for my grandchildren I'm not sure there would be any light in my life right now. I'm still struggling with symtoms of POTS and pvc's have shown their ugly head 🤬.. How I hate those! Doing my best to ignore symtoms but sometimes it's impossible. I'm beginning to feel a little lonely during the day wishing I was working but know that I can't possibly work with school age children again. I can't afford to get sick and I'm in no shape to do it anymore anyway. I wrote you a very long post many pages back and in that post I mentioned how my nephew was just diagnosed with POTS! I couldn't believe it! I haven't talked to him about it yet but I hope to soon. So that's about it with me. How are you doing these days? How are your wd sxs? Hopefully not giving you much grief. I think there end of October is my next cut. I talked it over with my therapist and I'd like to make two cuts by the end of December to bring me to 1 mg again. I'm hoping to be able to do that but we'll see what the tide brings in 🙄.. Anywho twin I hope everything is going well with you and hopefully you're getting out and about enjoying your days.

 

Love you woman!

LST❤️

Morning Twiny you are my hero.Now you are very strong my lovely and this crap won't break you.l know those symptoms are horrible however l am really hopeful they will lessen.

  I do know you are going to struggle on your own sweetheart however try to find things you can do.Would you consider taking up painting again?

Ask your nephew how he controls his symptoms and see if there is anything he is doing that you could incorporate into your day.

  Hang in there my twiny know we are here for you.Perfumeless but here all the same 🤔😏

  Love you my lST X

[[va...]]

Good morning Vali l am so sorry you are feeling depressed however l think it is one of the withdrawal symptoms that most people have to some degree.Let's face it this would depress anyone.Try to not feed into your fears honey.Review your hold in 6 months and see what your thoughts are then.l know there is a lot of talk of tolerance etc on this forum however l believe if you started of on your taper fairly stable you will be ok.Try to keep your chin up.love to you.

 

Thank you Stutt. I'll reasses in January. I'm wondering how you're doing Stutt. I hope you're OK. When are you doing the MRI that the neurologist ordered? How's your daughter in her new life? How are you adapting to the empty nest? Come visit me a weekend if you're feeling lonely. That Ryanair psychopath has good prices. Yes I get a lot of the paradoxical or tolerance fear mongering and most people are really very well intended, but I decided to bet all my money on this hold and for now I'm sticking to my decision as I'm the only one suffering the consequences of the cuts and the holds. You mentioned fear. Fear is still huge, that's why I keep holding. Chemical fear. Irrational. Are you like that Stutt? Do you have that symptom and do you wait until it goes away before your next cut? Take care and thanks for holding this group together. There's a special place for you in heaven.

[[va...]]

To all newbies welcome to the LHSG it is never easy to hold however sometimes we must and it takes a long time to stabilise.Remember holding is not a quick fix so you may feel worse before you begin very gradually to feel better.Keep a journal and review each month how you are doing.

 

I'm learning the above to be factual.  In addition I've began reading older posts in this group to gain more wisdom.  Thank you for the welcome !

  Morning Breck it is indeed very true in my case that is why so many people find holding difficult.lt takes a lot of faith to hold when things get worse.l think a long hold should be a minimum of 3 months then at 6 months you should have some idea if it is going to work for you or not.

  If l see Elvis l will give you a shout 😉.X

 

I love the elvis coming back being the sign to resume the cuts 

[[NJ...]]

Hi NJSTRENGTH.

 

I understand how reluctant you must be to resume the taper. One year is a good hold. Have your withdrawal symptoms continued improving throughout all this year? Your main symptoms are GI issues and once you mentioned low resistance to stress too? Did you have GI issues before tapering? Ideally I would wait until your son is doing better before tapering again, but as you're not sure when that will be, maybe wait for a bit until you're really settled into the new job and it's become routinary, and then consider a very small 5% cut and see how you react to that? That's what I'm doing in January. I'm waiting for now to see if I improve more. I can't imagine having a big problem with this level of chemical anxiety, but a problem can happen any time in life, like it's happening to you, so we have to take it slow and be as stable as possible. But yes, one year holding is a while. I tell you, maybe wait until you can do this job with your eyes closed, a couple months, and then cut 5%? And how was your stomach before tapering k? Just to make sure it's all benzo related. MJ made me sleep but made me depressed. And Baylissa says it can interfere with withdrawal. As with everything, there are different opinions, testimonies, etc. And I hate the smell, the taste and everything about it. I'd kill for a beer though, but now I doubt I'll ever be able to have one. This hold has helped me get better but I'm better, but coming from a terrible place. Chinchuk was describing how she was in terror 24/7 and everyone was chiming in encouraging her. I was exactly in the same situation and getting zero sleep. I had intrusives every single night. I'm so glad I updosed and got out of that. Now my anxiety and depression are bad, I write between 4 and 6 to measure them each day. But I'm no longer in that awful hole. I'm holding to see how much stability I can get, but how stable can you become by holding!? No idea, it depends on how damaged we are I guess. How long is a too long hold? I remember reading about one year holds in valley's propaganda, no recall of more than that. Maybe read it again? For me, being absolutely functional is essential. If I even look like less than superwoman, my ex can come creeping to try to get my daughter just to get child support from me, which he has never paid in ten years. He's a gambling addict and aggressive. I'm not risking her going with him. And in summer I saw that risk. Also, my father who is a narcopath, if he suspected I'm with psychiatrist problems could try take my daughter away to destroy her like he did with me, and of course try to control my finances. When I was in acute withdrawal in summer I feared that so much. I think not only our symptoms but our CIRCUMSTANCES have to mark at what pace we can taper, and whether we can taper at all. Yes, it's terrible to be on this in the long run, but we have to deal with today. Nobody else is going to do it for us, at least not for me.

 

I hope you find the decision that's best for you NJ, and I send lots of love to you and your son, hoping he starts getting much better.

 

Val and Stut,

 

Thanks, as always for your kind words,

 

Val, I think I have been improving with this long hold, simply by the need for the medical marijuana has lessened so much. I needed it to sleep every night and for nausea and now rarely do. I have always had GI issues but they have worsened since beginning my taper but I have also read that periomenopause can also cause nausea so who knows. I have also developed many food intolerances and if I am not super careful with what I eat, it can be a very bad scene.

 

Have a cup of peppermint/chamomile tea brewing now to hopefully settle my tummy down a bit before I need to go out later today.

 

Stut, good to see you continue to take the time to welcome all to this group!

[[Ma...]]

Stut!  Hey you, I asked the King to get you off the rack, begged him in fact, but the price of my head was just too high, I am soooo sorry  . Take Muffin to swim and love every minute of it.  Most of my dogs weighed 30-35 pounds and as they faded, I carried them in and out down 4 stairs and back up when time.  Then lifted them on bed, where of course, they slept.  We took most to the vet when their legs couldn't hold them, usually at that time , they had just stopped eating.  I know how much you love her, it's so damn hard.  You should become a dog trainer, seriously.  Do you know what I would pay to move my spoiled rotten dogs with my hand  .  Big $$$$!  Pets for Muffin, Daisy and yes Socks 🐱 wherever she is . Please be careful with Sis, no more black eyes!  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary aka the hen🐥

You must change my name soon, I heard rumor the Kings lands are starving, and I'm a hen  :laugh:  💜💜💜💜💜💚

[[Fi...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

 

Hi Stut,

 

Today the symptoms are leading.  So I'm now figuring out the pattern of this taper (as much as I can)  My leftover fear from my last taper definitely has effected me but I'm trying to see that I stabilize after the cuts hit. 

 

May says you are dry cutting as well?  How has that gone for you? Besides the tediousness of the scale. I seem to be able to handle the pill shaving. 

 

Hope you are doing okay Stut.

[[Ma...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

 

Hi Stut,

 

Today the symptoms are leading.  So I'm now figuring out the pattern of this taper (as much as I can)  My leftover fear from my last taper definitely has effected me but I'm trying to see that I stabilize after the cuts hit. 

 

May says you are dry cutting as well?  How has that gone for you? Besides the tediousness of the scale. I seem to be able to handle the pill shaving. 

 

Hope you are doing okay Stut.

 

FH, I am pretty sure Stut eyeballs her cuts.....

[[Fi...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

 

Hi Stut,

 

Today the symptoms are leading.  So I'm now figuring out the pattern of this taper (as much as I can)  My leftover fear from my last taper definitely has effected me but I'm trying to see that I stabilize after the cuts hit. 

 

May says you are dry cutting as well?  How has that gone for you? Besides the tediousness of the scale. I seem to be able to handle the pill shaving. 

 

Hope you are doing okay Stut.

 

FH, I am pretty sure Stut eyeballs her cuts.....

 

Wow, good for her and she's gotten so low.

 

I hope you are feeling better Mary.  I was remembering that when I was on Mirtazapine,y vision became really blurry, especially at night.  Then it got better when I came off, now I'm more blurry back on benzos.  These meds do effect our eyes. 

[[Ma...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

 

Hi Stut,

 

Today the symptoms are leading.  So I'm now figuring out the pattern of this taper (as much as I can)  My leftover fear from my last taper definitely has effected me but I'm trying to see that I stabilize after the cuts hit. 

 

May says you are dry cutting as well?  How has that gone for you? Besides the tediousness of the scale. I seem to be able to handle the pill shaving. 

 

Hope you are doing okay Stut.

 

FH, I am pretty sure Stut eyeballs her cuts.....

 

Wow, good for her and she's gotten so low.

 

I hope you are feeling better Mary.  I was remembering that when I was on Mirtazapine,y vision became really blurry, especially at night.  Then it got better when I came off, now I'm more blurry back on benzos.  These meds do effect our eyes.

 

They really do, damn benzo's.....and blurry eyes makes everything seem off,  .  I am huge reader and this is first time in my life, I wish I wasn't  :tickedoff:  hope you and hubby are both doing okay FH.  You are strong woman and it is nice having you here, well , you know what I mean 

[[va...]]

Hi NJSTRENGTH.

 

I understand how reluctant you must be to resume the taper. One year is a good hold. Have your withdrawal symptoms continued improving throughout all this year? Your main symptoms are GI issues and once you mentioned low resistance to stress too? Did you have GI issues before tapering? Ideally I would wait until your son is doing better before tapering again, but as you're not sure when that will be, maybe wait for a bit until you're really settled into the new job and it's become routinary, and then consider a very small 5% cut and see how you react to that? That's what I'm doing in January. I'm waiting for now to see if I improve more. I can't imagine having a big problem with this level of chemical anxiety, but a problem can happen any time in life, like it's happening to you, so we have to take it slow and be as stable as possible. But yes, one year holding is a while. I tell you, maybe wait until you can do this job with your eyes closed, a couple months, and then cut 5%? And how was your stomach before tapering k? Just to make sure it's all benzo related. MJ made me sleep but made me depressed. And Baylissa says it can interfere with withdrawal. As with everything, there are different opinions, testimonies, etc. And I hate the smell, the taste and everything about it. I'd kill for a beer though, but now I doubt I'll ever be able to have one. This hold has helped me get better but I'm better, but coming from a terrible place. Chinchuk was describing how she was in terror 24/7 and everyone was chiming in encouraging her. I was exactly in the same situation and getting zero sleep. I had intrusives every single night. I'm so glad I updosed and got out of that. Now my anxiety and depression are bad, I write between 4 and 6 to measure them each day. But I'm no longer in that awful hole. I'm holding to see how much stability I can get, but how stable can you become by holding!? No idea, it depends on how damaged we are I guess. How long is a too long hold? I remember reading about one year holds in valley's propaganda, no recall of more than that. Maybe read it again? For me, being absolutely functional is essential. If I even look like less than superwoman, my ex can come creeping to try to get my daughter just to get child support from me, which he has never paid in ten years. He's a gambling addict and aggressive. I'm not risking her going with him. And in summer I saw that risk. Also, my father who is a narcopath, if he suspected I'm with psychiatrist problems could try take my daughter away to destroy her like he did with me, and of course try to control my finances. When I was in acute withdrawal in summer I feared that so much. I think not only our symptoms but our CIRCUMSTANCES have to mark at what pace we can taper, and whether we can taper at all. Yes, it's terrible to be on this in the long run, but we have to deal with today. Nobody else is going to do it for us, at least not for me.

 

I hope you find the decision that's best for you NJ, and I send lots of love to you and your son, hoping he starts getting much better.

 

Val and Stut,

 

Thanks, as always for your kind words,

 

Val, I think I have been improving with this long hold, simply by the need for the medical marijuana has lessened so much. I needed it to sleep every night and for nausea and now rarely do. I have always had GI issues but they have worsened since beginning my taper but I have also read that periomenopause can also cause nausea so who knows. I have also developed many food intolerances and if I am not super careful with what I eat, it can be a very bad scene.

 

Have a cup of peppermint/chamomile tea brewing now to hopefully settle my tummy down a bit before I need to go out later today.

 

Stut, good to see you continue to take the time to welcome all to this group!

 

NJstrength hi again,

 

Remember if you start resuming your taper that chamomile is a nono (just in case, let's be safe). Did the GI problems get any better with holding? It seems that the insomnia has improved, at least that's something. Tell us what you decide if you feel like it. I'll be following you as always.

[[Fi...]]

Good morning Final has your symptoms eased off any from your cut?l hope you are still able to get out for your walk? love to you and your hubby.

 

Hi Stut,

 

Today the symptoms are leading.  So I'm now figuring out the pattern of this taper (as much as I can)  My leftover fear from my last taper definitely has effected me but I'm trying to see that I stabilize after the cuts hit. 

 

May says you are dry cutting as well?  How has that gone for you? Besides the tediousness of the scale. I seem to be able to handle the pill shaving. 

 

Hope you are doing okay Stut.

 

FH, I am pretty sure Stut eyeballs her cuts.....

 

Wow, good for her and she's gotten so low.

 

I hope you are feeling better Mary.  I was remembering that when I was on Mirtazapine,y vision became really blurry, especially at night.  Then it got better when I came off, now I'm more blurry back on benzos.  These meds do effect our eyes.

 

They really do, damn benzo's.....and blurry eyes makes everything seem off,  .  I am huge reader and this is first time in my life, I wish I wasn't  :tickedoff:  hope you and hubby are both doing okay FH.  You are strong woman and it is nice having you here, well , you know what I mean 

 

I do know Mary and I'm glad you are here Tom.

[[De...]]

Hi everyone!

 

Stut thanl you I am going to hang your posts on my wall! That way when i get the anxiety, Ill read them. Hehe. Hpw are you feeling! I hope your dog is ok. I didnt know their was anything wrong with him. I had my cat fot 17 years. I lost her a couple months ago. Losing a pet is the most painful thing ibe ever felt. I love animals much.  I really hope all is well eith youm I was eyeballing my cuts for a while too. So bad. Im on track now. I.hope.

 

I hope everyone else is doing ok. I am thinking of you all. Kerp fighting. 

 

Ok mm what is a hen. It is driving me crazy! 

 

 

 

[[De...]]

Okay so my therapist wants me to do this thing.

 

It says 300 words please, one page of positive introduction describing yourself at the best and how highest care does strengths or used. Helps with positive emotions, finding strength in meaning to create a full life.

 

I dont know if anyone else want to try this. I'm not sure how much this would help in benzo withdrawal. I'll give it a shot with split if I get to lose

[[De...]]

Wait a minute it came out wrong.

It says 300 words please, one page of positive introduction describing yourself at the best and how highest characters strengths were used. Helps with positive emotions, finding strength in meaning to create a full life.

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone!

 

Stut thanl you I am going to hang your posts on my wall! That way when i get the anxiety, Ill read them. Hehe. Hpw are you feeling! I hope your dog is ok. I didnt know their was anything wrong with him. I had my cat fot 17 years. I lost her a couple months ago. Losing a pet is the most painful thing ibe ever felt. I love animals much.  I really hope all is well eith youm I was eyeballing my cuts for a while too. So bad. Im on track now. I.hope.

 

I hope everyone else is doing ok. I am thinking of you all. Kerp fighting. 

 

Ok mm what is a hen. It is driving me crazy! 

 

Well, since Stut named me that, I assume it's an Irish female chicken .  Now that might get my name changed.  She always calls me a new name when I say something she thinks is particularly dumb    needless to say, I have had my fair share of names....she gives no slack for benzo brain or only a little knowledge of 🇮🇪 Ireland, so be careful what you say to her. 

[[De...]]

Haha...that is so cute! I love it. Lmaf. I called my cat gen the other day    i think.i called her my queen too!

How isbyour eye and hip. My hip and back sre sore but vision came back for now. Man

[[De...]]

Oh that benxo brain is bad news!!! I said to jim last night that the streetlights go out at night dont they? 

[[Ma...]]

Haha...that is so cute! I love it. Lmaf. I called my cat gen the other day    i think.i called her my queen too!

How isbyour eye and hip. My hip and back sre sore but vision came back for now. Man

 

Mine still sucks  . But as long as my mood is okay, I can usually cope and most days my mood is stable.  If you don't see me, you know my mood isn't good. I feel lucky actually.  You gotta be grateful for whatever you can  . My "words of the day".    .  You can sneak them into your 300 word essay.  Whooo, 9 less words for you!!