The Long Hold Support Group

[[In...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Final l will answer you tomorrow my love yes l eyeball my cuts.l will explain why tomorrow l hope you have a better day honey.love to you.

Intend you are doing everything right however sadly all these changes are taking their toll.l know this is so hard however you are getting there.One day at a time.love to you and Dan.

Twiny l will be checking at the port however l think l will be wasting my time.You keep your chin up honey.love you my lST.

Suzy keep on keeping on sweetheart.We can only do our best.Remember to not react to the anxiety.love you.

Gilly hang in there my lovely.Sending you my healing hugs.

. Esperanza get your ass back here and let us know how you are.love you my hillbilly friend.

 

Stut,

 

If anyone knows all those generic changes are taking their toll, it’s me. I’m pretty sure I’m still me, the person I’ve always been cognitively and emotionally, but still have these awful physical sx of withdrawl.

 

And you’re right, it’s one day at a time. Although, it’s really scary to move on even though I know I must. But I do worry that if these sx are like they are now, what are they going to be like as I move on. It’s just move on and see.

 

Me too Intend.....that's one reason I want these next 3 months to hold, hoping I will feel better and can then start on my 8.80 mgs (from 40 mgs) knowing what I know now, instead of being clueless....

I can't help but worry it may get worse, but maybe just maybe, if I take sometime now, I can avoid it being horrible.  Who knows, as you said, we have to move on and see.  And like you, it's mostly bad physical pain, blurry eyes...physical, my depression I think is situational, comes and goes, a lot depending on pain.  I won't say I always feel like the brightest bulb, but I can usually get enough light    love you II, MM

 

Mary,

 

I’m still contemplating taking the 3 months which is now less than a month because I’m on my 67th day into a hold, but I do believe my doc when he says we do recover as we hold even though we feel horrible.

 

It is mostly physical like you, but as I just told V, there emotional/mental stuff also. But just like you I do realize it’s situational depending on that real stuff going on. And that does include eye pain for me also. Never had sore eyes in my life until I got to this 6th generic change, and then it just continued on until my cornea tore and had to rush to the eye doctor. And now depending on the day, even though that tear has healed, I have discomfort from those damn drops of all things. Guess I’ve got it down finally to using those Systane drops for night in both eyes and those Bausch and Lomb drops for day time.

 

So for me this is a real physical “ailment” now colliding with a benzo withdrawl sx. Same thing for you it seems.

 

I’ll probably take the 3 months just to see if it helps me settle things down. It’s kind of a big “if” at this point with all these generic changes, but worth a try.

 

You know what MM? You are a really great, helpful, funny, fantastic, good egg 🥚 🍳! And that’s why I 💜 you. 💜💜💜  :smitten:

 

Now you raise the question, what was first, the hen (me) or the egg (me).  . I love you too II.

I Hope everyday there is a break for all of us.  MM 💜💜💜.    🌹🌹🚂🚂🌶🌶

 

Oh MM,

 

I thought about you miss hen 🐓 when I called you a good 🥚. I guess we can let Stut figure this out.

 

Read that you’re going by Laya? Well I know you like Eric Clapton so maybe Layla is really the best name for you. I I 💜💜💜 🎶 🎵 🎤.    🌹 🚂 🌶

[[In...]]

Neighbor just came by with cookies.

 

Must take my dose. Will continue analyzing news and looking at the rest of BB. I like what Baylissa told Sofa.

 

Must read further on that. Back later.

[[Fi...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Final l will answer you tomorrow my love yes l eyeball my cuts.l will explain why tomorrow l hope you have a better day honey.love to you.

Intend you are doing everything right however sadly all these changes are taking their toll.l know this is so hard however you are getting there.One day at a time.love to you and Dan.

Twiny l will be checking at the port howeverg l think l will be wasting my time.You keep your chin up honey.love you my lST.

Suzy keep on keeping on sweetheart.We can only do our best.Remember to not react to the anxiety.love you.

Gilly hang in there my lovely.Sending you my healing hugs.

. Esperanza get your ass back here and let us know how you are.love you my hillbilly friend.

 

Thanks Stut.  When I'm in a wavez which I have been the last few days, I always feel like my method of tapeing is wrong and I have to make a change.  I'm trying to fight the impulse.

 

FH, I just read your signature a couple of times in a row to hopefully really understand it.  I don't see where you held, I see you wrote holding a couple of times, but when I look at your dates , I don't see an actual hold.  Am I wrong?  And if this is something you just don't want to do, it's ok, just say so and I won't bring it up again .    I'm just asking because it may not be your method, it maybe, you need to actually take a break.  I believe you have a good day here and there, so a break might actually push you over the fence in the right direction.  If you are , a month may be enough to straighten out your taper some.  Not a real hold, more of a time out.  It's just a suggestion, I know you want to get off the benzo's, believe me, but a break, imo, would be better than another taper.  You have changed tapers several times, and changing again, may cause a problem.  Then when you start back, and want to change tapers, like a dlmt, if the break made you more stable, would be a good time for that......it's just an observation.  :smitten:

 

Thanks Mary, you can bring it up anytime you want.

I took about a month long hold in June after tapering in April and May.  Then yes, I tried a few different things after that, which didn't help.

 

Even though I love being part of this thread, I have very mixed feelings about holding.  I'm so scared that the longer I am on this med, the harder it will be to get off.  I've communicate with different people who have tapered.  Some never have windows during their taper, some like me have intermittently windows and the blah days and then others no issue. 

 

I dont know what the norm is for me. I have never had any real benefit from this med during the 4 months I was on at my highest amount.  It didn't help me sleep, it has made me super depressed and exhausted.

 

So I honestly dont know if that will improve if I hold.  I dont know.

And I am not sure you need to hold, more of a break, a month really isn't a hold......and that is really all I am suggesting, a month..just enough to get you over that hump...but you definitely do what you are comfortable with.....I understand totally.  I will root you on to that sweet spot that is just so damn elusive  .

 

Mary and FH,

 

I’m not so sure there is a real “sweet spot” for everybody where one can match withdrawl to sx and avoid sx completely. I just think we take it day to day and go by the way we feel physically and emotionally.

 

I do question for myself how long to hold, but I’m seriously sure that I cannot rush off this drug so I will hold no matter what. I trust my doctors advice and he trusts me and my judgement also.

 

Let’s face it: everything about benzos is mysterious and elusive in my opinion.

 

Yes, there may not be a sweet spot but I have to find some equilibrium now. I'm in too much emotional pain.

I agree that the benzo path is very mysterious and elusive.  I am just feeling the pressure of age and time.

[[Ma...]]

Yes, Mary. As Intend says, you are a truly good egg. Thank you for being there. I've come back to bed and I'm chilling with Tilly. Tried ringing my daughter but she texted back "Mum, I'm just having a cry". So maybe it's just today for everyone. I tend to forget that life isn't easy anyway, even for people with no w/d or connected issues.

 

I think a three-month hold would really help you.

 

 

Lots of Love, girlfriend. xxx 💙

 

Boy, I hope so English Blossom, my new name for you.  How old is your daughter, whats her name?  I really know very little about her, other than you love her very much 

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Final l will answer you tomorrow my love yes l eyeball my cuts.l will explain why tomorrow l hope you have a better day honey.love to you.

Intend you are doing everything right however sadly all these changes are taking their toll.l know this is so hard however you are getting there.One day at a time.love to you and Dan.

Twiny l will be checking at the port however l think l will be wasting my time.You keep your chin up honey.love you my lST.

Suzy keep on keeping on sweetheart.We can only do our best.Remember to not react to the anxiety.love you.

Gilly hang in there my lovely.Sending you my healing hugs.

. Esperanza get your ass back here and let us know how you are.love you my hillbilly friend.

 

Stut,

 

If anyone knows all those generic changes are taking their toll, it’s me. I’m pretty sure I’m still me, the person I’ve always been cognitively and emotionally, but still have these awful physical sx of withdrawl.

 

And you’re right, it’s one day at a time. Although, it’s really scary to move on even though I know I must. But I do worry that if these sx are like they are now, what are they going to be like as I move on. It’s just move on and see.

 

Me too Intend.....that's one reason I want these next 3 months to hold, hoping I will feel better and can then start on my 8.80 mgs (from 40 mgs) knowing what I know now, instead of being clueless....

I can't help but worry it may get worse, but maybe just maybe, if I take sometime now, I can avoid it being horrible.  Who knows, as you said, we have to move on and see.  And like you, it's mostly bad physical pain, blurry eyes...physical, my depression I think is situational, comes and goes, a lot depending on pain.  I won't say I always feel like the brightest bulb, but I can usually get enough light    love you II, MM

 

Mary,

 

I’m still contemplating taking the 3 months which is now less than a month because I’m on my 67th day into a hold, but I do believe my doc when he says we do recover as we hold even though we feel horrible.

 

It is mostly physical like you, but as I just told V, there emotional/mental stuff also. But just like you I do realize it’s situational depending on that real stuff going on. And that does include eye pain for me also. Never had sore eyes in my life until I got to this 6th generic change, and then it just continued on until my cornea tore and had to rush to the eye doctor. And now depending on the day, even though that tear has healed, I have discomfort from those damn drops of all things. Guess I’ve got it down finally to using those Systane drops for night in both eyes and those Bausch and Lomb drops for day time.

 

So for me this is a real physical “ailment” now colliding with a benzo withdrawl sx. Same thing for you it seems.

 

I’ll probably take the 3 months just to see if it helps me settle things down. It’s kind of a big “if” at this point with all these generic changes, but worth a try.

 

You know what MM? You are a really great, helpful, funny, fantastic, good egg 🥚 🍳! And that’s why I 💜 you. 💜💜💜  :smitten:

 

Now you raise the question, what was first, the hen (me) or the egg (me).  . I love you too II.

I Hope everyday there is a break for all of us.  MM 💜💜💜.    🌹🌹🚂🚂🌶🌶

 

Oh MM,

 

I thought about you miss hen 🐓 when I called you a good 🥚. I guess we can let Stut figure this out.

 

Read that you’re going by Laya? Well I know you like Eric Clapton so maybe Layla is really the best name for you. I I 💜💜💜 🎶 🎵 🎤.    🌹 🚂 🌶

 

Oh, let's face it, I answer to almost anything    I don't really believe in that kind of sweet spot either.  I just meant really tolerable spot, lol, but that sounded so plain....but I will take it.  I would give anything to feel as well as I did when I had that window, OMG, heaven 🌈🌈🌈but it was months ago now 

[[De...]]

Hey M,

Did you read what Colin said about milk and making home brew solutions...ugh. when you have a chance take a look at it in klon club. My head is spinning. Dd

[[De...]]

Now i have a headache.ugh  this whole thing sucks

[[In...]]

Don’t let it get to you DD. Just try, and that’s all anyone can expect of you.

 

Mary knows because she posted on the KKKlub also like I did. Ask your BF to help you learn or watch him do this so you can be independent and know for yourself. 🧡

[[De...]]

Ok thanks intend. I guess i have to learn.

[[Ma...]]

Hey M,

Did you read what Colin said about milk and making home brew solutions...ugh. when you have a chance take a look at it in klon club. My head is spinning. Dd

Yes, I understand what he is saying and even talked to Tim about it.  When builder did your taper for you , what did you tell him you were going to use, milk?

[[In...]]

Yes, Mary. As Intend says, you are a truly good egg. Thank you for being there. I've come back to bed and I'm chilling with Tilly. Tried ringing my daughter but she texted back "Mum, I'm just having a cry". So maybe it's just today for everyone. I tend to forget that life isn't easy anyway, even for people with no w/d or connected issues.

 

I think a three-month hold would really help you.

 

 

Lots of Love, girlfriend. xxx 💙

 

Hey there Gilly, you’re a good mom. I’m glad you’re back with Tilly. She needs you as does your daughter Rebekah. I think that’s  her name. And yes, life sure does go on whether we’re going through benzo withdrawl or not.

 

She’s got problems too, so call her again when you get a chance.

[[De...]]

Yes i said whole milk. I was reading somewere that k might not be soluble in milk. So i just asked on the kklub forum and jim asked too. So ofcourse i got nervous. So then Colin answered whuch was nice of him.  So i guess ill stick with milk and see how it goes.

[[De...]]

I feel fine. I feel more sedated. Probably a good thing 

Veerry lazy 

[[Ma...]]

I feel fine. I feel more sedated. Probably a good thing 

Veerry lazy 

 

Yes, good you feel lazy 

[[De...]]

Yes. Just go with the flow. I could be msnic tomorrow lol

[[De...]]

I had a craving for a drink a few times. Hmmm wonder why ha! I would never do that. It would feel good if i could stop at 1 or 2. 

[[Ma...]]

I had a craving for a drink a few times. Hmmm wonder why ha! I would never do that. It would feel good if i could stop at 1 or 2. 

 

I never could either and when I got older and only drank once or twice a week, I still only drank to get drunk.  I have no desire for alcohol and haven't for years.  You just hold on, it will pass.  I promise 💜

[[De...]]

Thanks. I was the same. I only urge once in s while out of nowerem 

[[4G...]]

Intend, Thank you so much for your support and advice. It's strange how things happen. I thought Rebecca was upset because of me. I'd told her that I hadn't got the energy to see her this weekend and I thought that had made her cry, but I pressed the ring button on my mobile phone accidentally and then quickly turned it off. She then rang me back and said that she wasn't upset with me at all and that it was easier for her if she didn't come this weekend. So, lots of guilt on my part for no reason. I really should take another look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy!

 

Btw, yes, I do write "have a good day" at strange times for people in the US! It is now past 4am and I really should go to sleep! 😁😁

 

Love to you, Dan, Pepper and the pan of boiling beans!  Gilly xxx 💙

[[In...]]

Intend, Thank you so much for your support and advice. It's strange how things happen. I thought Rebecca was upset because of me. I'd told her that I hadn't got the energy to see her this weekend and I thought that had made her cry, but I pressed the ring button on my mobile phone accidentally and then quickly turned it off. She then rang me back and said that she wasn't upset with me at all and that it was easier for her if she didn't come this weekend. So, lots of guilt on my part for no reason. I really should take another look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy!

 

Btw, yes, I do write "have a good day" at strange times for people in the US! It is now past 4am and I really should go to sleep! 😁😁

 

Love to you, Dan, Pepper and the pan of boiling beans!  Gilly xxx 💙

 

Gilly,

 

You are so cute and funny. CBT may  be a good idea for you. Let’s see it 10 pm here and you’re not online so you’ve already gone to bed. Hm... it’s 5 am Friday in Wigan.

 

Yes, don’t feel guilt about Rebecca. She’ll eventually tell what’s wrong; why she’s crying, and it’s not always necessarily anything about you.

 

Love to you, Dave, your wonderful Tilly, and my big pot of boiling beans. I really did cook a big pot of beans yesterday for vegetarian chili beans. I just need to add the rest of the ingredients to finish them. 💙💚💛🧡❤️

[[va...]]

I had a craving for a drink a few times. Hmmm wonder why ha! I would never do that. It would feel good if i could stop at 1 or 2. 

 

I crave for beer sometimes but I know it would send me back into acute wd. I've seen many YouTube videos on this and many threads here. Watch benzo warrior on YouTube. It's a miracle she's alive. She's such a strong woman and an inspiration.

[[De...]]

Omg vali,

I have seen her. She has been through hell! I cant beliece sglhes alive  either . I cant even imagine drinking. If i had to deal with a hangover on top of this. Oh my god, no way. Never drink. How are you feeling?

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Vali yes l have the waves of terror l really think most people have.lt settles down sometimes it definitely did when l held for a period of time.lt comes and goes like all withdrawal symptoms.l think in withdrawal we all have fears which are predominant however it does get easier given enough time.

  The MRI is for my brain my love.l probably will be waiting a year or so that is the nature of our system.l am not worried about it.Sis is a bit aggressive at this time so l am going to get a med review and hopefully things will settle down again.Nothing l can't deal with.

  I have adjusted quickly to my daughter being in Belfast she is home every weekend so l am actually very happy she is out living her life.l am here if she needs me.

  I am doing ok symptoms sometimes easier to deal with then other times brutal.Big cuts are definitely harder however l am prepared to deal with them.l have always said this is my taper and what l am doing is right for me.l can see the finish line and basically l have done what is right for me.

  How's you my love are you feeling as depressed or is it lifting a little.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Morning Final l hope your wave is easing off.l cut and hold is it the best method probably not.l didn't change it as it is really just what l have always done and l was prepared to hold a little longer when it was necessary.l believe the bigger the cut the longer the hold to stop the long half life of these drugs causing us to hit the wall.Now l definitely have read a lot of people on klonopin preferring the liquid taper.lt appears to make things a little smoother.l will leave that up to intend etc as they are tapering klonopin.Regarding precision is it necessary l really don't know some say yes in my opinion your brain is an organ and it registers a cut nothing more.Ofcourse the less you could the less withdrawal symptoms you are going to have in theory sadly for some this is not the case.l am prepared for the harsh withdrawal symptoms with the bigger cut however l hold for at least 2 or 3 months before l cut again.lt actually takes longer to stabilise at lower doses in my case.

What l am really saying is this my love if you are coping with the cut and hold go with it if not try the liquid method.l think as you get lower liquid may be your best option however only time will tell.Don't be afraid to change your taper if you need to.

  Love to you and your hubby.