The Long Hold Support Group

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne, thanks Liza. Valley I have been seeing posted a lot about Chemical something or other, now I just forgot completely what I was trying to post, Later.

[[Va...]]

Thanks Anne, thanks Liza. Valley I have been seeing posted a lot about Chemical something or other, now I just forgot completely what I was trying to post, Later.

LOL. I'll take a look at some of the posts. I haven't spent much time on the main forum lately. --V

[[He...]]

Lizagal,

About your nightmares,

I had stopped dreaming altogether ( or maybe I just didn't remember them) when my insomnia was very bad. But when I finally started to dream again most of my dreams were ok. However I too have had horrifying dreams that wake me up in a terrified mode. The last one I had was about five days ago and I actually didn't want to go back to sleep! It was so real and it scared my silly.

I'm sorry you are experiencing nightmares, and hope they go away soon, and never come back for you or me or anyone. But remember, they ARE just bad nightmares. They don't come true, thankfully!

 

My answer to your question you asked about withdrawals getting worse during a long hold.

 

I can only tell you of my own experience. I only held for two months so I don't really know if that's considered long, but it was long for me.

All I can tell you is that my withdrawal effects definitely did get worse, very worse,  during my hold before they started to get better. And even when they got better, they still got worse and better ,back and forth very much until they stayed better for a while. And that was towards the end of the two months.That's when I knew I was just about ready to start my taper again.

So I hope you won't give up. Hang in there.  I had wanted to give up on my hold many times so I know how you feel. But I thought of it like this...if I give up my hold, and start to taper before I am ready, I will never get out of this spot I am in. I really felt , although I was miserable, that holding through my misery, would eventual get me to a better place. I knew I had the option of up-dosing, but indidn't want to do that. I was afraid it wouldn't work and then I'd be at a higher dose and would have go through tapering all over again from that higher dose. So I waited With my hold until I was at a place where my CNS wouod have done some healing! And it did. I know you are miserable, and I know it is so very hard. But I hope you won't give up! You can do this!

 

I sure hope you find some relief soon. I'll be thinking of you and sending up some prayers. I sure can relate, like so many others on this forum

 

Heathcliff

[[li...]]

I was where you are at two months Heathcliff at two months. I was having some really good windows and thought I was on my way. Then vertigo set in for three weeks and then that went away and week before this last one I thought I was getting better again. This last week (im at five months) has been horrible--back to where I started. Hard to have hope and not know if I just keep holding that this will go away. I don't know anyone in this group that took this long to stabilize so I'm scared and don't know what to do.

[[He...]]

Liza gal.

I am not sure from looking at your profile, just what  drugs you are on now, and how many you tapered off at the same time.

I am a newbie here. Don't know a lot. But I do know that Ashton manual says if you are on two drugs, to NOT taper off more than one drug at a time. ( i.e. An antidepressant and a benzo). And it seems from what I think I see on your profile, that you are on multiple drugs

I can't  tell if you have tapered off many drugs at once?

Could that be the reason you are having so many side effects? Are the side effects from many drug withdrawals? Just IMO.  I am not a doc and I am only guessing. Your doc knows much more than me, of course.

My reason for a long hold was bec I had done a taper completely wrong. I made cuts that were too big and didn't hold long enough between cuts. Some times I made another cut in only 12 days.  I was truly uninformed. So of course my CNS NEVER CAUGHT UP WITH THE CUTS!  The. S---t hit the fan when I cut from 1.5 to 1.25. All hell broke loose. My withdrawal sfx were horrible for weeks. My brain had finally said to me... "Enough!" So I had to hold to let my brain and CNS catch up.

 

Is it possible the reason you are having such bad side effects and for so long, is because your prior cuts were too big and too fast, and it is just all catching up to you now? Again I am only guessing.

You know your tapering history better than me.  But I hope you won't be discouraged by the length of time you are holding. Some people are much more sensitive than others.

I have discovered that I can only do micro cuts, and even then I get sfx, and I still need to wait about three weeks before another teeny tiny cut.

Please don't give up.  Remember everyone is unique, it may take you longer to get past this very rough patch, but you can do it!

Heathcliff

 

Thought I'd add that during my two month hold I also had times when new sfx appeared.

But the fact that you were having some good days, to me ,I think is proof the your brain is doing some healing. Remember, you will have ups and downs. Dont give up!

[[He...]]

Hey Valley,

Thanks for your comment about my post. Although I am a "newbie" as you so funny named me,  no expert by any standard, and I still have a lot to learn,  I am trying to give back and pay it forward to all the buddies here for all the support and information you and the rest of the buddies have given me. Don't know what I'd do with out all that you and the other buddies have taught me.

 

By the way, I checked out the list of your WITHDRAWAL SFX. I got 9 from your list, so far. Is that a passing grade? LOL

 

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Bad dove,

I hope you are feeling better today. Hope you are staying steady with your dosing.

Also hope you have a wonderful time with your family when they visit.

 

Heathcliff

 

Oh I see you updosed. Good luck with that. I hope it finds you relief.

[[li...]]

Just klonopin Heathcliff. Thanks

[[He...]]

Hi Lynne

I'm so glad that you are having good days!  Looks like you are on your way. You are so low in your dose too! Yay for you!

 

I am on day 11 since I started my cut of .01 down to .05  so actually I am on day 6 since I got to the .05 cut. So that's what I will go by.

I have had some side effects minimize a little and new ones appear.

My neck pain is really  bad but seems to have let up today.

My parathesia is very minimal

My Windows still appear .

But today I have very stiff muscles in my neck, buttocks and hips.

Needless to say I'm discouraged, but I've been in much worse places, so I'm being brave and carrying on.

 

I am thinking that next time I may cut only .04 instead of .05

Or, Maybe i will just have to hold longer than two or three weeks before making any kind of cut again.

 

I know side effects are expected with any cuts, and maybe this is the worst it will get.

But maybe I was really not ready to make the cut that I did when I did. Maybe I should have wIted more than two months before making this last cut.

 

 

But just maybe, I did the right thing and everything will straighten out given more time.

 

All this speculation is really silly at this point.

I really need to just wait and see what happens.

 

I'm rambling!  Thanks for thinking if me, I'll keep you posted. Keep up YOUR GOOD TIMES!

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Lizagal,

Thanks for straightening me out. I was not aware that you were only on the klonopin. Now that I know, I guess all that I wrote about tapering many drugs does NOT apply to you. Sorry!

Nevertheless, don't give up! Be strong, you can do it.

 

[[ba...]]

Heathcliff:

 

Thanks, I am so much better. It's a day and a half of same dose, same time interval. This is how I should of started, but I had no idea about anything. Have learned, mostly from this board, the Ashton manual, and my own experience. I was all over the place with my taper.  As I did up dose, I am stretching my time intervals from 5 to 6 hours, coping so far. If this gets ugly, I will step back the timing, not the dose. I think that's a better way to walk back if I need to than up dosing anymore.

 

Essentially, way too much stress, doc told me to get off the CBD cannibinoids last week (ouch), and I was continuing to disintegrate into a psychotic suicidal bed bound mess. I had to do something.

 

I have only been on a stable dose and stable time since yesterday, so will see. I never trust how my CNS will react, especially after a few days of a change. However, I am consistent, for once, and will take it from there.

 

Will be seeking advice when it's time to taper, I have so many questions, but it's too soon.

 

Couldn't do this without you folks.

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley,

Thanks for your comment about my post. Although I am a "newbie" as you so funny named me,  no expert by any standard, and I still have a lot to learn,  I am trying to give back and pay it forward to all the buddies here for all the support and information you and the rest of the buddies have given me. Don't know what I'd do with out all that you and the other buddies have taught me.

 

By the way, I checked out the list of your WITHDRAWAL SFX. I got 9 from your list, so far. Is that a passing grade? LOL

 

Heathcliff

LOL. I wasn't referring to you as a newbie . Only myself at the time.  So glad you're with us in the long hold group. 

[[He...]]

Oh, that's right Valley. . You were talking about yourself being a newbie. But it's fine with me if I am a newbie Besides you're not a newbie anymore.

 

So I am the new newbie! LOL

[[He...]]

Anne, Thanks for all your encouraging words for everyone!

Heathcliff

[[ly...]]

 

Thanking begood, heathcliff and Anne for the well wishes. 

 

End of day 5 and no wd sxs.

[[be...]]

 

Thanking begood, heathcliff and Anne for the well wishes. 

 

End of day 5 and no wd sxs.

So happy for you, thank you for being here for me, thank you for all you do to help others.

[[an...]]

 

Thanking begood, heathcliff and Anne for the well wishes. 

 

End of day 5 and no wd sxs.

 

:thumbsup:  Happy you are doing so well!!

[[ly...]]

 

Thank you Begood, my friend.

 

Thank you Anne and I am so happy for you as well.

 

:smitten:

[[He...]]

Be good,

I am so  proud and amazed and a bit envious of you. You sure are a good holder. I see youve been holding for a long time. I am glad it's paying off! I will think of you when ever I need to hold and I get discouraged.

And you still come back to the forum to encourage and assist! Thanks!

I hope your long hold pays off and when you are ready to jump, that you have no sfx at all. Good luck!  Thanks for staying with us.

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

It's late in the day here in southern CA. And MY LOW BACK IS KILLING ME, .

 

I GUESS  I WILL KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT JUST WHEN  YOU THINK YOURE OUT OF THE WOODS, THE TREES FALL ON YOUR HEAD!

 

TIME FOR THE HEATING PAD? ICE?

Suggestions?

Help...there goes my happy mood!

Heathcliff. :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

[[be...]]

Heathcliff, never be envious, just keep walking toward your goal. 

[[He...]]

Thanks be good, I will try?

[[Sh...]]

Well, I jumped 5 weeks ago and am now 'holding' indefinitely. Was hoping for some possible insight. I used to stabilise and feel 100% healthy with no SX after a cut. Started at 10mg Valium. But when I got past 2mg I have had no relief. I tried holding for a while at 1.5 but it didn't help so I just kept going down to 0. I don't get why my body just stopped recovering and stabilising. I've basically been in a wave of mental symptoms for 4 months now. Only took it for a couple of months before beginning a taper but all in all I was on it for close to a year if you include a taper.

 

The sitting and waiting sucks. Has anyone stabilised in 2-3 months? I'm wondering when I'm gonna get better. 

[[li...]]

Shamo did you feel better when you updosed?  I've been holding for five months with windows and waves but the last ten days I'm getting worse and worse and this morning I feel totally psychotic like I've been cold turkeyed. I don't know what's happening to me but I feel absolutely horrible, hopeless, insane and there's no way out. This is beyond cruel. Not coming on here anymore because what has worked for everyone else is not working for me. I was told not to be afraid of tolerance but I think that's exactly where I am. What would updosing do?  I'm sure nothing. What's the point?  Updose and hold another 5 months only to be back here again. I feel like my life is over. God bless you everyone.

[[Sh...]]

Liza I updosed a couple of times and it worked. I could updose if worse comes to worse but ive been off completely for 5 weeks now. Im not any worse but not much better yet. The last time I was stable was after a cut down to 2mg where after I stabilised I felt 100% healthy. Since then...constant symptoms. I wonder why I havent recovered since then....so frustrating.