The Long Hold Support Group

[[be...]]

Well thank you all for the quick and very kind responds, Free and Lynn knows I have been having  little blips, and I was kidding, but also just wanting to let everyone know I was thinking of them. Now Valley I can address to the Turtle, months ago, I wrote that I was like a turtle in my tapering and I posted a picture and Gard thought of the Chicken, and it is history, the Turtle I thought of because I am going so very slow, but to get to the finish line this last time, because I will not do this again, I must not do as I did before, rush and cut too much, so now it is so slow I would have chosen a snail, but they remind me too much of snakes, so that is how the Turtle became a Mascot, and one day I looked up and I think Gard had a chicken sitting on a Turtle. I love this group you are all going to be alright, we just need to do what is best for each one of us, and never give up, because as I said before that is when the tide may turn. To all my Sista's and my Big Brother I say[glow=red,2,300]"VIVA LA "LONG SUPPORT GROUP". :thumbsup: :thumbsup:[/glow]

[[ly...]]

Heathcliff,

 

.05 is a good sized cut at your low level.  If my math is right it's almost 5% (.06 = 5%??).  If you are having pretty manageable sxs, you should be fine.  V is correct.  You had some pretty large cuts prior to your hold.

 

just saw your post while typing.  Don't be discouraged!  I don't think anyone gets away with zero wd sxs after a cut.  Manageable and pretty tolerable is a win!  I remember how bad it was for me when I went too fast earlier this year and what I've had since my hold does not compare at all.

 

Day 2 here of 10% cut and so far, so good.  I'm probably jinxing myself by saying that!

[[an...]]

Glad to hear you are doing well with the cut Lynn. 

 

Someone mentioned that I had cut, but I am still holding.  I plan on cutting in a week or two.  I am feeling well enough to cut, but I would like to enjoy feeling well for a while.  The last week or two has been great.

 

Valley, I hope that you do well with your cut.  I am sure going without for 24 hours might have something to do with the anxious feeling.

 

Begood, I always enjoy reading your posts.

 

Free, I do hope you feel better soon.  Same for Liza and Lainey. Remember, even small improvements do count!!

 

Heath, you do have the option of going back up in dose if things become unbearable.  It sounds as if you are having windows though, so it might be a good idea to hold for a while.  I think you could be still feeling that large cut from a couple of months ago. Things will improve.

 

Anne  :smitten:

 

 

[[Va...]]

Glad to hear you are doing well with the cut Lynn. 

 

Someone mentioned that I had cut, but I am still holding.  I plan on cutting in a week or two.  I am feeling well enough to cut, but I would like to enjoy feeling well for a while.  The last week or two has been great.

 

Valley, I hope that you do well with your cut.  I am sure going without for 24 hours might have something to do with the anxious feeling.

 

Begood, I always enjoy reading your posts.

 

Free, I do hope you feel better soon.  Same for Liza and Lainey. Remember, even small improvements do count!!

 

Heath, you do have the option of going back up in dose if things become unbearable.  It sounds as if you are having windows though, so it might be a good idea to hold for a while.  I think you could be still feeling that large cut from a couple of months ago. Things will improve.

 

Anne  :smitten:

I'm sure you're right about the length of dosing time Anne.  I felt it the next day. Enjoy feeling well!  --V

[[He...]]

Lynn,

NO JINX ALLOWED! you are going to do it! I feel it in my bones! Your 10 % cut is going to work!  Good luck and as always, good for you!

Heathcliff

 

[[He...]]

Anne,

Yikes! I just clicked on the link to see your long taper. Youve been tapering for so long and in such tiny amounts!

Oh how I hope I can do that. , I am so impatient! I wonder where you got your patience and strength to keep that going and not go faster.

All power to you! I hope you get off this stuff with as little trepidation and pain as possible.

 

I got down to my goal of 1.2 Now I will hold at 1.2and see what happens. It was touch and go today. I'll see what happens tomorrow.

 

Heathcliff

 

Hi Heath,

 

Yes, it has taken  a while.  I am doing a daily liquid taper.  I went through a very successful taper back in 2007.  It was much smoother than this one, but it did take a year and a half to taper from 0.75 mg Ativan.  I was pretty much symptom free throughout.  When I jumped, I had no problems whatsoever.  I believe this is because I had no symptoms when I started tapering.  I was in bad shape before I even knew about the problems Ativan could cause.  After months of being barely functional, I up dosed and stabilized before tapering.  This time was different.  I had symptoms when I started my taper, and they have continued throughout. I tapered down to 0.25 mg quickly, but got stuck when I got down to about 0.168 mg/day back in May.  I felt terrible for several weeks, and then finally up dosed to 0.204 mg last month.  It has taken a while, but I am finally feeling much better.  I actually have days where I feel normal now.  I plan on holding a while longer, and then resume the taper.  My main goal is to remain functional so I can work and live my life. I think it will take a year to finish the remainder of my taper, but I am okay with that.  From my first experience with tapering, I know that it is possible to get off this drug with little to no symptoms by implementing a slow taper which is why I am patient. 

 

It sounds like you will stabilize soon.  You are experiencing windows and that is a good sign.  Just listen to your body, be willing to adjust your taper as you get to lower doses, and incorporate holds when needed. There is no reason to rush. 

 

Peace and healing to you.

Anne

 

Hi Anne,

Oops, it was me who made that mistake and wished you luck on your taper. Sorry , I see now that you are not currently tapering. But I wanted to respond to your reply to me.

  :'(you are absolutely right! I wish I could get it through my thick skull that I need to hold longer to get stable. When I look back to just this past week I can say I'm glad that I tapered down the .05 mg but I can also see that I probably wasnt quite ready. My sfx had let up considerably and I was getting Windows but I was not 100% stable. But being the benzo dummy I am, I cut anywAy. Oh well I hope it goes well for the next two or three weeks. Maybe I'll be lucky! So far so good! I will try my hardest to hold at least two or three weeks or even longer if necessary between my next cuts, and hopefull be able to be strong enough to make sure I am stable before cutting again.

Thanks for always helping me to see things the right way. And good luck and easy going when you start your next taper. I can see that you ARE very patient and it is paying off for you!

All the best!  Heathcliff

[[Va...]]

Day 4 since cut and I don't feel anything. This is usually the day I feel it.  I'm a true turtle now BG. 

[[fr...]]

  Good for you all who made a little cut and hopes that you don't feel anything.  Anne thank you for the good wishes, it means so much.  I am here cheering you all on.  Great job.

[[be...]]

Day 4 since cut and I don't feel anything. This is usually the day I feel it.  I'm a true turtle now BG. 

Valley that is good, isn't funny I once went from 10mg of V a day to 5mg and had no problems but jeez the lower I went that is when it hit, but Free helped to me to realize it is all about the lower you go the bigger the cut. Valley you can ride on the Turtles back anytime. and it is soon, you know how V can bite back, but then again it would be wonderful to get by with nothing. Now remember I am watching you.

[[Ke...]]

Hey Valley...  Good to see you have started your taper.

How much are you cutting?

Good luck and thanks again

Keeka

[[Va...]]

Day 4 since cut and I don't feel anything. This is usually the day I feel it.  I'm a true turtle now BG. 

Valley that is good, isn't funny I once went from 10mg of V a day to 5mg and had no problems but jeez the lower I went that is when it hit, but Free helped to me to realize it is all about the lower you go the bigger the cut. Valley you can ride on the Turtles back anytime. and it is soon, you know how V can bite back, but then again it would be wonderful to get by with nothing. Now remember I am watching you.

Definitely going slow BG. I had no problem from 20 to 12.5 and then got hammered with the last cut. I'll be glad to get to 10. Only making .25mg cuts and holding 10 days to 2 weeks and will hold at any time if things go south. Not tempting fate again.  --V

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley...  Good to see you have started your taper.

How much are you cutting?

Good luck and thanks again

Keeka

Super slow Keeka. .25mg cuts every 10 days to 2 weeks. Not sure if I will cut faster even if I can as I never want to go through the trauma of that last cut in February. How are you doing? --V

[[Ke...]]

I'm ok.  It's been 2 months now since jump.  I struggle but then I am not working still so I came to a realization that a lot of the way I feel is due to my thinking not necessarily sxs.  Getting off the drug was very important to me and I don't regret how I did it.  It's hard no matter what you do.  I'm staying away from this Forum as I am quite sure I have PTSD from this experience so I need to forget it happened.  It was awful. Still is hard but way better.  Thought I would check to see how you were doing and happy that you have started your taper.  There is no getting away from it.  Good luck and I will check in again another time.

 

K

[[Va...]]

I'm ok.  It's been 2 months now since jump.  I struggle but then I am not working still so I came to a realization that a lot of the way I feel is due to my thinking not necessarily sxs.  Getting off the drug was very important to me and I don't regret how I did it.  It's hard no matter what you do.  I'm staying away from this Forum as I am quite sure I have PTSD from this experience so I need to forget it happened.  It was awful. Still is hard but way better.  Thought I would check to see how you were doing and happy that you have started your taper.  There is no getting away from it.  Good luck and I will check in again another time.

 

K

Good for you! Glad you're off and on your way to recovery. I think it would be easier for me without the chronic pain issue. It makes my condition worse (which I haven't adressed much on BB) and I can't tell withdrawal pain and sxs from the other pain and sxs from my spinal cord issue so I'm slowly crawling off. Good to hear from you! --V

[[He...]]

Are low back muscle aches/ pain a withdrawal Sfx? It's new to me. Can't figure out if it's a common side fx, or my old back weakness is just coming back. Never had it before.

Has anyone had this side effect?

[[He...]]

Three days into hold after reaching .05 with a five day .01 micro taper.

Windows are gone toady! Blah!

Parathesia all day but not to terrible . Was able to go  to Costco and Home Depot.

Low back pain all day.

 

Hanging in but not happy!

 

Heathcliff

[[ly...]]

 

 

Seems like "normal" stuff Heathcliff.  You being able to be out and about is a good sign.  I've read that back pain (any muscle pain) is fairly common.  I usually get it in the neck.  I had some this morning but it went away.  I woke up with a few things but they went away after am dose.  The only thing that seemed to hang around was elevated tinnitus - and I had a very stressful afternoon.  I think you'll be fine!

[[Va...]]

Hi Heathcliff. Back pain is definitely part of withdrawal. It should subside.  --V

[[wa...]]

I think it would be easier for me without the chronic pain issue. It makes my condition worse (which I haven't adressed much on BB) and I can't tell withdrawal pain and sxs from the other pain and sxs from my spinal cord issue so I'm slowly crawling off.

 

Just want to jump in on the pain thing, V, since I deal with a lot of spinal cord/back surgery pain and am in some kind of flare which I don't know if it is w/d related.  I identify with the not knowing and the "crawling off".  It is an exhausting stressor and there are so many things I stop and start due to pain interfering or fatigue. WBB

[[Va...]]

I think it would be easier for me without the chronic pain issue. It makes my condition worse (which I haven't adressed much on BB) and I can't tell withdrawal pain and sxs from the other pain and sxs from my spinal cord issue so I'm slowly crawling off.

 

Just want to jump in on the pain thing, V, since I deal with a lot of spinal cord/back surgery pain and am in some kind of flare which I don't know if it is w/d related.  I identify with the not knowing and the "crawling off".  It is an exhausting stressor and there are so many things I stop and start due to pain interfering or fatigue. WBB

That's the problem with this stupid process wannabe. I would treat the chronic pain if I knew it wasn't withdrawal. I had my nerves burned and it didn't do anything so I'm sure a lot is withdrawal as the nerve study I had identified which nerves were involved. I think with benzo withdrawal it's more about general muscle pain. Don't even get me started about the fatigue lol. I'm sorry you have suffer the chronic pain issue too. It's no fun.  --V

[[no...]]

Are low back muscle aches/ pain a withdrawal Sfx? It's new to me. Can't figure out if it's a common side fx, or my old back weakness is just coming back. Never had it before.

Has anyone had this side effect?

Its WD I'm laid up with it in the same place along with other hell pain.  :D I'm really unwell

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[no...]]

I think it would be easier for me without the chronic pain issue. It makes my condition worse (which I haven't adressed much on BB) and I can't tell withdrawal pain and sxs from the other pain and sxs from my spinal cord issue so I'm slowly crawling off.

 

Just want to jump in on the pain thing, V, since I deal with a lot of spinal cord/back surgery pain and am in some kind of flare which I don't know if it is w/d related.  I identify with the not knowing and the "crawling off".  It is an exhausting stressor and there are so many things I stop and start due to pain interfering or fatigue. WBB

 

 

That's the problem with this stupid process wannabe. I would treat the chronic pain if I knew it wasn't withdrawal. I had my nerves burned and it didn't do anything so I'm sure a lot is withdrawal as the nerve study I had identified which nerves were involved. I think with benzo withdrawal it's more about general muscle pain. Don't even get me started about the fatigue lol. I'm sorry you have suffer the chronic pain issue too. It's no fun.  --V

I have horrendous nerve pain V,   and have had for a long time,its WD its not just muscular and its one my worst sxs although others are hell too

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[He...]]

Lynne,

I am so sorry that you are in so much an. I hope you are feeling better.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies. My back pain is gone for now, with the help of a heating pad, but it was replaced with neck pain. Neither are much fun!  But at least I know now that  it's withdrawal sfx and that they will be gone soon.

 

I don't like this side effect one bit! Back pain and back muscle weakness are real bummers.

 

Heathcliff

[[li...]]

At five months I feel like I'm back to square one with brain stuff and some physical. How do people like Nova and I know if it's a wave and we just need to keep holding or if it is indeed tolerance?  If I updose to try to get out of it, how does it just not end up back here anyway?  So confused and struggling. Hoping it's the weather though I'm inside on the couch all day. Back to crying about how psychotic and frantic I feel.  I so wanted this long hold to work and have no way of knowing what to do. I knew I'd get windows and waves but this one is brutal.

[[Pl...]]

Anyone please help me..... I feel as though I'm dying.... I have severe muscle soreness with burning throughout my whole body ... I even feel it in my bones and joints! It starts from the top of my head and I feel I am on fire ...my fingers feel arthritic and do not want to stay open... My tailbone especially is on fire...

 

My breathing sometimes becomes labored...and my heart races... I will also have involuntary contractions throughout my body .... Including my forehead eyes(severe nerve pain here) and mouth arms and legs with severe exhaustion.... Inner vibrations and tremors...I feel as though I want to throw up...

 

My mouth is even on fire and extremely dry.... I am barely cutting sometimes only 2 to 3 lines a day on a .1 ml syringe....in between days I do hold.... The drug is severely sedating and renders me very

Drunk feeling 24/7.... Not to mention the constant drug fueled nightmares....

 

This drug feels so toxic and poisonous to me.... The longer it stays in me the more sick I feel....

 

I never felt this severe... I am so weak and out of it I can barely move....

 

I don't know what to do.... I can't keep taking this drug everyday but know I can't stop it....

 

Is this all normal? I am so terrified everyday.... My body never recovered from ativan withdrawal and I just made everything worse...

 

please any advice and prayers... May we all find solace and wellness...