Parenting in Recovery

[[ki...]]

We had a meeting with our son’s teacher, school counselor, and asst. principal to address his behavior. Apparently he’s having a really hard time not being the center of attention and struggling with his teacher not giving him all the attention. Only child syndrome. It’s really hard to not beat myself up and feel like a total failure.

[[Sh...]]

No kits don’t do that! This is normal behaviour for kids. They are push boundaries no matter if they are an only child or not. I’m sure the school sees it all the time. It doesn’t reflect on u as a mum. He will be ok he’s still so little and learning the ropes. Don’t let it get on top of u u already have enough going on. The school really needs to handle it their end with some coping strategies put in place. It’s not fair for them to push back on u, u can’t control what’s happening at school.

[[tr...]]

Kits...totally normal only child behavior...its not you. they get to learn that the world is not just about them and find their  "pecking order" in the flock.

He'll adapt with time. ( I was an only child growing up...my half brother was raised by someone else). My report card said" does not play well with others".

I'm ok now lol.

 

Lady: Sorry about your kids! Thats stressful. Oh the worries that go through little ones minds!

 

To respond to mini waves - I've had these before with no triggers..so I think these are part of my "benzo normal". Its just weird. Hey..I'd rather it be like that than the ones that last for days!

[[La...]]

Kits, my grand daughter is like that. She's the only child...not for long in about 5 months. She's the only toddler in our family here. My 12 yr old is her best friend. She had a hard time with the fact that everything isn't hers. So my daughter used her stuffed animals to show her how to share. Your child will quickly learn that he must not be the only one in the spotlight. Simply being in school will teach him this. Just remind him that his teacher has to help everyone. This is what we told my grand daughter: if the teacher only holds you on her lap, then the other kids will feel sad to not get a cuddle. She's their teacher too. The teacher is the boss like a bus driver with kids on the bus so you must always listen to her because she will keep you safe. Eyes open, ears listening and hands in your lap when you go in the classroom. Raise your hand to speak to the teacher. No yelling because if everyone in the class yells then your teacher can't hear everyone. Everyone take turns.

We also watch videos of classroom behavior on YouTube.

Please don't be discouraged Kit. You're not a bad mom. We teach our kids the best we can. But sometimes they have a mind of their own to stray from what we taught. That isn't your fault. Take Trina's daughter for example...she was under anesthesia and dropped F bombs. There's no way Trina taught her that! And her kid isn't bad. Yours isn't either! They have their "moments". Just keep encouraging him to be good.

[[tr...]]

Take Trina's daughter for example...she was under anesthesia and dropped F bombs. There's no way Trina taught her that! And her kid isn't bad.

 

Ummm..I may have dropped one once or twice in my life. I'm human.. and she may or may not have been in earshot of it sooooo....

I'm told confession is good for the soul ..lol

[[ki...]]

Take Trina's daughter for example...she was under anesthesia and dropped F bombs. There's no way Trina taught her that! And her kid isn't bad.

 

Ummm..I may have dropped one once or twice in my life. I'm human.. and she may or may not have been in earshot of it sooooo....

I'm told confession is good for the soul ..lol

 

My kid has dropped f bombs, no anesthesia required. His mom might swear like a sailor...  :angel:

[[Sh...]]

They hear a lot on YouTube too x

[[La...]]

Take Trina's daughter for example...she was under anesthesia and dropped F bombs. There's no way Trina taught her that! And her kid isn't bad.

 

Ummm..I may have dropped one once or twice in my life. I'm human.. and she may or may not have been in earshot of it sooooo....

I'm told confession is good for the soul ..lol

LOL yes and they heard those kinds of words from everywhere but you didn't teach her that it's ok for her to say it. The things they allow on tv especially shows for kids are getting more outrageous! I find myself pre-watching things before I ok my daughter to watch it. Even the kids games are awful. I saw a commercial for a kids toy that made me want to throw up. It was a toilet with poo game. What happened to Operation, slinky, barrel of monkeys, monopoly etc?

[[he...]]

So went to the campus tour today with my daughter. Nice school and its def looking like she wants to go there. I woke feeling off, but did enjoy the trip. However on the way home I felt waaay off - I think it was just too much stimulation and stuff. Then I had my ugly mom cry bc I could.

 

Thinking about  what you all wrote about covid and schools...I am concerned about my kids health, but I was getting very concerned about their mental health. Hybrid school has made a huge difference for my kids in a positive way.  I can see them literally pick up emotionally. Again, we all know our kids best and will make choices that we see best for them and our unique situations.

 

I jumped just before things shut down, so I remember how what should be healthy concern morphed into a bit of paranoia. Now that anxiety is not out of this world, I can approach covid in a more stable way. My hope is that as you all continue on this journey of healing, that this pandemic does not rule your lives or steal any moments of joy. It can't last forever. This chapter will end. I'm so darn sick of it too. 

 

 

That's so great you could go!

[[ki...]]

It’s been a while since anyone updated here. Thought I’d chime in. My son is doing a lot better in school. Still has an off day here and there, but nothing like it was. He has a best friend now. We went to his BFF’s birthday party yesterday at a trampoline park. They had a blast. Now if only I could get him to not give me so much grief over homework.  :laugh:

[[La...]]

This is wonderful Kits! I think him having a BFF was great for him to settle down. I'm sure he'll continue to improve. As far as schoolwork. Some kids just never like it. But as you continue to encourage him that he has to show the teacher on paper, he will embrace it over time that it must be done. I always tell the kids that hate homework to just get it over with. Do it right the first time. Then you can be free to have fun until tomorrow morning when it's school time again.

My daughter is having mixed feelings about returning to brick and mortar school with the other kids next school year. She loves virtual learning. She doesn't have to put up with bullies, stand in lines, go from room to room, etc. But being at home doesn't give her enough social skills. Interactions are important for social development.

I'm glad you got this thread started again. 

[[he...]]

Parents I am struggling today bad. Can't stop crying. Husband and I screaming at each other bc of all that's happened I know I will always feel this way. Like an unstable child. I'm suffering and it's hard to take

[[tr...]]

It’s been a while since anyone updated here. Thought I’d chime in. My son is doing a lot better in school. Still has an off day here and there, but nothing like it was. He has a best friend now. We went to his BFF’s birthday party yesterday at a trampoline park. They had a blast. Now if only I could get him to not give me so much grief over homework.  :laugh:

 

Must be something in the air Kits lol...

I had to lay down the law with mine over attitude ( and schoolwork). But I realize its been a crap year and he desperately needs some structure back.

But with this whole recovery process I haven't had the energy to parent like i used to. So maybe "me" being back more is the structure he needs too. 

 

And he's a teen so normal development is that he's going to test boundaries lol.

 

But I feel your frustration!!

[[Ca...]]

C18 has finally learnt what rubbish is..!! -He drops ALL of it on the floor now..

-Im documenting it for any future wife's.. -paybacks a bitch..

 

...and then.. -on the other hand, I was left home alone (in the bush) with a power out and 3% phone charge while feeling (seperate to WD) just like when I was coding in hosp with sepsis, and the little angel has the thought to phone and check im ok..!!

-Might not seem much, but it melted me, given all that has happened over the last 12yrs..

Too bad it wont change all the ongoing problems, but hey, a moment to treasure amidst the chaos..

 

Not sure I pulled off “uplifting”, but there was intent.. lol