Tapering off Xanax - or C/T due to relatively short term use

[[Ne...]]

I'm on day 7 also. But I used Xanex LTon and off  10 years. 0.5 2xd. My symptoms seem to be worse in the morning now.  Neck pain stopped yesterday. I actually slept a few hours. You sound like you've got this.  Just keep moving forward. I'm going to see cbt Tuesday and get back on AD.Fearful of symptoms getting worse also. I'm also stressing about working during wd.

[[Pa...]]

Hi VonDark,

 

How are you doing, haven't heard much from you the last couple of days.  I hope you know that whatever you decide to do, we'll support you, this is your life and while we think we may know whats best for you, only you can make the decision. 

 

Pamster

[[Vo...]]

I'm hanging in there as best I can thank you. Along with Mary, your advise and kind words mean so much. The constant agitation is getting really hard to take I would say that is my worst symptom by far.  I know I am probably kindled from my irregular use but what Fi said seems to make quite a bit of sense.  I guess what I am wondering is does my irregular use and resulting symptoms over a short term mean that I am automatically unable to handle a regular dose and could never be at least stable to where I have a chance at tapering with manageable symptoms.

[[Pa...]]

I have a question, why did you try to taper from the medication, what was your motivation?

[[Vo...]]

Was that a question for me or Fi?  I never tried to taper, I had no idea I was tolerant until after my last dose on Jan 15.

[[Pa...]]

I guess that's what I meant and yes the question was for you, sorry.  I was rereading your first posts and was trying to figure out why you stopped taking it.  Did you finish the prescription or did you decide you didn't want to take it anymore?

[[Vo...]]

I was taking it for sleep alternating with ambien.

[[Pa...]]

And why did you stop?

[[Vo...]]

I stopped because I was afraid I was taking too many and that I would become dependant on them. I never liked how they made me feel, but they did allow me to sleep.  I took a total of 10mg 20 pills and thought that would not ever be enough to become dependant. I also started seeing a psych who told me to throw them out, and gave me other meds (remeron traz, and now seroquel) to help with sleep.

[[Pa...]]

Hi VonDark,

 

Thanks for going back over your history with me, I'm sorry I got confused, it happens when I read so many stories everyday.    I know how hard this has been for you and I know you've searched for answers everywhere and debated with yourself for so long whether to go back on the drug and taper, the indecision must be tormenting you, I know it would me.  I had it much easier, I quit and there was no going back for me but for different reasons.

 

Given your short time on the drugs and the sporadic nature with which you took them, it blows me away to see what they've done to you.  You began to experience withdrawal from the drug even though you only took them occasionally and so few of them over such a short time, this tells me once again how deadly they are to you.  Your genetic makeup and possibly your other illness tells me they are poison to you.  I can't imagine going back on them and staying or tapering slowly off would give you any comfort, it doesn't seem possible to me.  I don't know this for a fact of course, but given everything you've described I can't see it helping.

 

I've grown to care a great deal about what happens to you VonDark and I'm so sorry for your suffering.  When I read Fi Addendum's post I thought, well Fi is offering a way out and I couldn't blame you for reaching for the hope he was offering.  But after thinking about it all day yesterday and last night, I came to the conclusion that its not a way out, but I so wish it were.

 

Those of us who have cautioned you to stay on this course could be wrong but our judgements are based on what we've seen here, the worst of the worst in terms of benzo withdrawal.  There may be happy endings out there that we never see, but from what I know of your brief history on benzo's, I can't see how going back on them could possibly turn out well for you.

 

As I said, I care about you and will absolutely support you in a reinstatement or a reinstatement and taper or if you decide to stay the course of your cold turkey.  This is your life and we're just a bunch of anonymous people on the internet so whatever you decide, do so with the most knowledge of your particular situation as you can.

 

Pamster

[[Fi...]]

"I've grown to care a great deal about what happens to you VonDark and I'm so sorry for your suffering.  When I read Fi Addendum's post I thought, well Fi is offering a way out and I couldn't blame you for reaching for the hope he was offering.  But after thinking about it all day yesterday and last night, I came to the conclusion that its not a way out, but I so wish it were."

 

Let me be clear, I only posted on this thread because VonDark requested that I do so via PM.

 

I shared my history and present state not to suggest  a "way out" for VonDark or anyone else but rather as my way forward which to date has enabled me & all who depend upon me to survive and thrive. best wishes

[[Vo...]]

"I've grown to care a great deal about what happens to you VonDark and I'm so sorry for your suffering.  When I read Fi Addendum's post I thought, well Fi is offering a way out and I couldn't blame you for reaching for the hope he was offering.  But after thinking about it all day yesterday and last night, I came to the conclusion that its not a way out, but I so wish it were."

 

Let me be clear, I only posted on this thread because VonDark requested that I do so via PM.

 

I shared my history and present state not to suggest  a "way out" for VonDark or anyone else but rather as my way forward which to date has enabled me & all who depend upon me to survive and thrive. best wishes

 

Thank you Fi for responding to my PM with such a detailed account of your way forward.  I guess the question is, considering my history,  will I have anything approaching your level of success if I elect to reinstate.

[[Ca...]]

Hi VonDark,

 

Iv had what were to me at least, some pretty tricky choices to make over the years, and I dont know if it will help, and may seem simplistic... -But I sometimes look at it like, -Which choice would I be more happy to live with if it all goes bad..

Im sure everyone does this subconsciously, but it does seem to help when I do it with purpose...

Perhaps similar to a “for and against” list..

If nothing else, it helps make sour grapes a little less bitter.. Though often we never truly know what the alternative outcome would have been anyways...

 

I wont touch on what I might think is best for you, I dont think I could add to what Pamster, Mary and others have written, and my own reinstatement situation really only applies to myself, as would each persons own experience..

I guess Ill venture, that had I support and information from a forum to tap into at the time of my early choices the outcome or perhaps process would have been a welcome comparison to what eventuated... I hope BB can be this for you as you make your decisions also..

 

Wishing you strength and healing..

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Vo...]]

I guess the pros of reinstating would be a temporary reprieve of hopefully some or all of my symptoms. I know I am back at square one with having to taper down and possibly face these symptoms again.

 

Cons of reinstating is that it has no effect or makes my symptoms worse, both of which are possible. 

 

Trying to hold out and recover a bit without ever having to reinstate but its getting harder every day.

[[Pa...]]

I've never been very strong when it comes to decisions like this, I usually go for the instant gratification and regret it, so I admire that you've held out so long.  It's hard to make a list of pros and cons when there are so many unknowns, I wish I had answers for you.

[[Ca...]]

I guess the pros of reinstating would be a temporary reprieve of hopefully some or all of my symptoms. I know I am back at square one with having to taper down and possibly face these symptoms again.

 

Cons of reinstating is that it has no effect or makes my symptoms worse, both of which are possible. 

 

Trying to hold out and recover a bit without ever having to reinstate but its getting harder every day.

Thats the spirit..!!

Make sure you have your “tool box” stocked and handy.. -“Go to” thoughts, distraction tools and aids, supports, etc..

Here, Ill share my taper song with you.. Hope you like..

 

[[Ma...]]

VD, Cant is one of my favorite people.  He has so much knowledge and always tries to give you all sides.  I am so glad he found your post and shared his favorite song.  I love that song. 

I am glad to hear you are still trying not to reinstate.  Honestly, we meet so few people that we have a chance of helping them have a shorter taper, we may have become a little overwhelming to you and I apologize.  Usually, by the time someone finds bb , it's a pretty long taper in front of them, so the possibility of supporting someone who may not have to go through that, just means a lot to us when it happens.  We will always be here, no matter what you choose.  Mary 💜

[[Vo...]]

thank you Mary as always. 

[[Ca...]]

VD, Cant is one of my favorite people.  He has so much knowledge and always tries to give you all sides.  I am so glad he found your post and shared his favorite song.  I love that song. 

I am glad to hear you are still trying not to reinstate.  Honestly, we meet so few people that we have a chance of helping them have a shorter taper, we may have become a little overwhelming to you and I apologize.  Usually, by the time someone finds bb , it's a pretty long taper in front of them, so the possibility of supporting someone who may not have to go through that, just means a lot to us when it happens.  We will always be here, no matter what you choose.  Mary 💜

Awww Mim, your too kind... I can only try my best..

What makes it possible is the “peer review” aspect from the rest of the “village”... -So that would equally be you and everyone else..

 

 

[[Vo...]]

Hey Mary, yes Can't was really nice to answer my PM about reinstatement, he might be able to add on to the topic here giving all sides of the argument a fair shake.

[[Ma...]]

Hey Mary, yes Can't was really nice to answer my PM about reinstatement, he might be able to add on to the topic here giving all sides of the argument a fair shake.

 

I always trust him, he gives a lot of thought before he answers.  I think he meant this to be his answer though "I wont touch on what I might think is best for you, I dont think I could add to what Pamster, Mary and others have written, and my own reinstatement situation really only applies to myself, as would each persons own experience..

I guess Ill venture, that had I support and information from a forum to tap into at the time of my early choices the outcome or perhaps process would have been a welcome comparison to what eventuated... I hope BB can be this for you as you make your decisions also..

 

Wishing you strength and healing..

 

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Yes Mary, that pretty well sums it up for me..

 

Hi VonDark... -Hope this finds you well (as can be)...

As promised, I have read your posting history and associated threads, and nothing jumped out beyond what you have already had great support on from the Ladies.. I tried to read it with an argumentative mind.. -but still nothing new...

-Which isnt a surprise as the quality and experience they share is pretty world class imo...

Im a pretty slow reader (and texter), so was kinda hoping you would report feeling much better by the time I finished...!! -After all, there is a fair chance of that, statistically speaking...

 

Perhaps a couple of thoughts that I had as I read...

The reinstatement experiences you linked from another site (from 13 yrs ago) didnt give any real history, not the stuff we look for with such complex comparisons at least.. So I would suggest caution against giving them too much weight in relation to your own situation... I think you understand this anyway...

 

We could discuss additional meds beyond what has been, but to be honest I feel it would be counter productive, and perhaps much like throwing rocks into a gearbox...

Our thoughts get hijacked, -East or someone, perhaps might have mentioned that??, and part of the process is contending with this... One one hand its good your looking at this proactively, but its also important to shift our minds more towards the other aspects of the task at hand, leaving what isnt directly serving us in this behind.. I guess kinda getting out of our heads and into the distraction and acceptance mode that is talked about so much here.. I see you have started a bit of that by replying to and supporting others on some threads.. Good for you, it will help..

Also check out some of the game threads and blogs etc, -as you feel up to it.. Then of course there are your “in life” things, home, family, walks... -all that stuff..  Its a transition, but just aim in that direction as, and where possible, into the future.. I guess my point is its easy to get benzo trapped beyond what we cant avoid (like right now), so an eye to the future to drag us along can be a good help...

-on that note, im sure these ladies would love to hear more about you and your world at some point..!! -lol, im only a little jealous...

 

So long as you know your doing a great job.. -Today.. -Right now..

-Just keep it up, and you have got this beat...!!

 

 

[[Vo...]]

Thank you once again to Cant, Mary and Pam and everyone else for all of the thoughtful advice, I really do appreciate it. 

[[Vo...]]

feeling a bit better today, no crazy thoughts, just a lot of fatigue and cog fog.  Guess I'm hoping that Its probably the seroquel doing this and not the Xanax wd, we shall see about that once I taper off the seroquel.

[[Pa...]]

Good to hear you're feeling a bit better, it's hard to get excited when this happens because next thing you know, you get hit with something else.  I sure hope its the Seroquel  because if it is, then I see good things happening for you.  How quickly can you taper the Seroquel, I don't know anything about that stuff.