Discussion: Four Phases of Withdrawal-Where Are You?

[[Gi...]]

Thank you, G.  You are not bringing me down at all.  In fact, it's nice to know that I am more than likely still in the beginning stage of withdrawal.  My symptoms seem to have gotten worse in the past week or so.  It has only been a short time since I jumped.  It's no picnic feeling this way, however, I'm really most interested in finding hope.  You have given me a modicum of said hope.  As for the medication to help me sleep, I think just knowing I have it, helps me not take it. That probably doesn't make any sense to others, but it does to me.  Like you, I don't want to add proverbial fuel to the already screeching fire under my skin.  Again, thank you.

 

Hi App,

 

You are sounding very positive. That doesn’t mean that you are not feeling awful but to me it means that you have the strength to get through this.

 

I have found that progress through recovery resembles the progress of the stock markets over many years: if you zoom out you will see at near perfect upward trajectory, but if you zoom in, that smooth line is made up of numerous ups and downs. So, over time, you get better and better, but there are times within that when, out of the blue, things crash downwards before moving back up.

 

False dawns are a strong feature in the recovery process. “I’m healed” is a thought I’ve had many times. But it hasn’t lasted.

 

There is one thing that slayed me (and some others) that is not mentioned in the four phases. Instead of going from phase 1 to phase 2, I felt after 3+ months that I had got worse and gone to phase 0, if you like. That was when I joined BB. I thought it couldn’t be happening this way. But it was. Then, after a few more months I started to feel progress and that has continued.

 

I’m no guru, we are all living through our own experiences but my recipe has been to exercise, relax, sleep well and eat unprocessed foods. Add this to not taking any medication and I feel that it has to work doesn’t it?

 

Keep in touch. If you have time, read all of Sofa’s posts:you can’t go far wrong following her wisdom.

 

G

[[Ap...]]

Who and where is SOFA?  This is new to me.  Thank you for your kind words.  I'm just so thankful right now (since finding BB, especially) to realize that even though I'm uncomfortable physically, I am much calmer and freer emotionally.  I am also not alone.  That was the most despairing feeling I've had of late.... thinking that no one understood or had ever experienced what I am going through, and that I am so unequivocally alone.    I am beginning to realize I'm not so alone.

[[Gi...]]

Who and where is SOFA?  This is new to me.  Thank you for your kind words.  I'm just so thankful right now (since finding BB, especially) to realize that even though I'm uncomfortable physically, I am much calmer and freer emotionally.  I am also not alone.  That was the most despairing feeling I've had of late.... thinking that no one understood or had ever experienced what I am going through, and that I am so unequivocally alone.    I am beginning to realize I'm not so alone.

 

Hi App,

 

Sofa is short for Sofakingdone which is the name at the top of this thread. Start at the beginning of her journey on page 1 and you will learn so much. DO NOT be daunted by her five-year recovery, that may or may not be you and I. I have found an excellent podcast at benzofree.org that you should have a listen to. Lots of good advice there as well.

 

G

[[Ap...]]

Thank you GMH, I shall do that. 

[[so...]]

Hi everyone,

 

It’s really important to surround yourselves with positive people.  There are puddles of toxic poison on this forum and you won’t do well when you accidentally step in them.

 

Make a list of positive people on this forum.  Insulate yourselves in their safe bubbles.  Navigate this forum by only reading posts that comfort and inspire you.

 

I suggest these things because there is no reason to EVER be afraid of this process.  This is a very powerful time of complete healing.  You are being completely recycled and you will emerge from this squeaky clean with a body and mind that can handle anything.  Welcome this healing.  Say, “Bring it on!”  Thank your body for this opportunity at a second chance in life with a level of health and well-being you’ve never had before.

 

Sofa

[[pr...]]

How do you block?

[[so...]]

Preachergirl,

 

1. Go into Profile.

2. Click Buddies/Ignore List.

At the top of the List of members, there is an option to click Edit Ignore List.

3. Click Edit Ignore List.

Scroll down and you’ll see Add to Ignore List in bold.  It has a box to type in the member you want to block.

4. Type in the member you want to Ignore.

 

[[Wi...]]

 

I suggest these things because there is no reason to EVER be afraid of this process.  This is a very powerful time of complete healing.  You are being completely recycled and you will emerge from this squeaky clean with a body and mind that can handle anything.  Welcome this healing.  Say, “Bring it on!”  Thank your body for this opportunity at a second chance in life with a level of health and well-being you’ve never had before.

 

Sofa

 

I agree with your post, Sofa, all of it. Great advice. And the highlighted bit...beautifully said. Another bookmark for my HOPE file - thank you!

 

On another note, something to make you chuckle. I just realised now how far I've come. When I first came onto BB, I was still tapering. One of the first posts I saw was one of yours. BUT...I couldn't read it. I just saw your avatar. I was so paranoid at the time that I immediately thought: 'voodoo, satanism, pedophilia...what nest have I stumbled into!', followed by multiple panic attacks, sweating, hand-wringing, and hyperventilation. Yep, indeedy. That was me. 

[[so...]]

OMG Wildflower!!!!!!  I am laughing out loud!!!!!

 

My poor little voodoo doll.  You can imagine how I was feeling to pick such an avatar.  Originally, I had my little Opie as my avatar.  I didn’t think it was a fair representation of me.  I found something much more appropriate, don’t you think?  Hahahaaaaa.

 

Sofa

[[Wi...]]

Oooh...trick question...! 

 

You have a pup named Opie. I have an orange cat named Otie (well, Otis). Love it.

[[Gi...]]

OMG Wildflower!!!!!!  I am laughing out loud!!!!!

 

My poor little voodoo doll.  You can imagine how I was feeling to pick such an avatar.  Originally, I had my little Opie as my avatar.  I didn’t think it was a fair representation of me.  I found something much more appropriate, don’t you think?  Hahahaaaaa.

 

Sofa

 

Sofa,

 

It scared me too. It couldn’t be less representative of the real you (not that I am suggesting that you change it).

 

G

[[so...]]

G,

 

This is so funny.  I’ve never even thought about how scary it might look.  I’ll have to look around the net for something else.  And thanks for saying it doesn’t represent me well.  That’s good.

 

Sofa

[[Wi...]]

Sofa, I hope I didn't offend you, as my comment was honestly meant as a joke. It's so clear to me how kind you are, that it didn't even occur to me to state the obvious.

 

I am sincerely grateful for all you do on here.

 

Wildflower

[[Gi...]]

Well said Wildflower

[[so...]]

No offense taken at all!

[[be...]]

G,

 

This is so funny.  I’ve never even thought about how scary it might look.  I’ll have to look around the net for something else.  And thanks for saying it doesn’t represent me well.  That’s good.

 

Sofa

 

I thought your avatar was you.....

[[so...]]

LOLOLOLOL, Bets!

 

It is me.  I just didn’t want everyone to know it was me.  I am playing the field.  A woman’s got needs.  Hahahaaaaa.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

I deleted a paragraph in my previous post advising certain areas to avoid on the forum.  This is something you will figure out on your own.  I was trying to protect you and that’s not my place.  We all find the best way to navigate this forum and protect ourselves.

 

Sofa

[[Wh...]]

I deleted a paragraph in my previous post advising certain areas to avoid on the forum.  This is something you will figure out on your own.  I was trying to protect you and that’s not my place.  We all find the best way to navigate this forum and protect ourselves.

 

Sofa

 

 

[[so...]]

Here are some comforting words a friend sent me today from Baylissa Fredericks.  I hope they soothe you and give you strength:

 

As I begin this day, I take a deep breath… and then I gently remind myself that despite how I am feeling, I am going to get through today, and I am also going to make it through to the end of my withdrawal, no matter how it unfolds.

 

On my worse days, it is difficult to imagine myself ever healing and it can feel as if I am suspended in time and space – stuck and with no end in sight. But no matter what my current challenges are… no matter how intense and unrelenting my symptoms may be, I will keep in mind that the day has to come, when I wake up and withdrawal is over.

 

Even if I am just tapering, or I am in acute withdrawal, that fine day will come. If I am experiencing protracted withdrawal syndrome, I too will heal. No matter how long I have been waiting, I know that withdrawal takes as long as it needs, in order to ‘get it right’ and all I need to do is wait it out.

 

In the meantime, I will nurture myself as best as I can and I will do what I need to get through it. I will think of those before who struggled with their tapers, or who had the most intense and horrifying acute, post-acute and protracted experiences, and that they eventually healed. I will, too.

 

All I need to do is breathe… hold on... and wait, trusting that the outcome will be the end of this struggle and the joy of overcoming.

 

Sending healing thoughts and wishes,

Baylissa

[[be...]]

[[Ap...]]

Awsome, Sofa.  I must look her up.

 

[[th...]]

G,

 

This is so funny.  I’ve never even thought about how scary it might look.  I’ll have to look around the net for something else.  And thanks for saying it doesn’t represent me well.  That’s good.

 

Sofa

 

It reminded me of an animation in a Tool video from years ago:

 

 

That said, I like the avatar.

[[so...]]

Think,

 

Thanks!

 

“I’ve grown accustomed to his face.”  Who sang that?  Come on you old farts.  I know somebody knows the answer.

 

Sofa

[[br...]]

 

Old Fart yourself .

 

Good ole Prof. Higgins to Eliza . Rex Harrison couldn't carry a tune and sort of 'talked ' his way through ' My Fair Lady '.

 

Love ya Sofa. Sweetie darling . Who said that ?