18-30 MONTHS AND UPWARDS

[[Ne...]]

Hi Buddies!

I’m at almost 29 months and still in and out of waves😡 I will be 60 in a few months and feel like

an old lady some days. The most significant and persistent symptom is the insomnia. I continue to only get 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Most nights I can hardly get sleep unless I take a pm medication. I don’t want to become dependent on them, but I’m worried it may have already happened.

Thank goodness for BB and this thread. It does help to hear how other buddies are faring this far out.

I’ve also been  experiencing some chest discomfort so I had an excercise stress test. The office called to say the test was fine but the written report did say something about arrhythmia. Now I’m in a whole new cycle of anxiety. The deep dark looping thoughts cycle pretty frequently these days.

Maybe some of you guys could be specific with your symptoms. It might help relieve allay some fear.

Thanks for being here buddies. I couldn’t get through this without all the help and support here.

Let’s continue to hang here...we’ll get through this together

❤️New girl

[[da...]]

Glad I found this! I'm at 29 months as well. Klungo and locotusOFborg I have the same jump date. I still wave/window but my baseline is definitely better! Waves are still very hard but not torture. I have DP/DR, cog fog, memory problems that are scary, depression, anxiety. Also, physical fatigue that sends me to the couch for days. I feel like things are finally start to change! This is so big! For months on end it's just been grueling back and forth.

 

Klungo - Thank you for the feedback about 30-36 months from Jen, Baylissa and Dr. Wright. That is very comforting and much needed for perspective.

 

We've come this far - we just keep going! 

 

Dash

 

 

[[Ho...]]

This thread is interesting, but also discouraging. Deep respect for all the 24+ buddies. I get hit with monster waves on a daily basis. I understand the meaning “baseline healing”, but also not.

Lately symptoms seems to be very strong and after a period of cycling (4-6 weeks) it move to another area and it’s back and forth again. Than all of a sudden, a window almost 100%. Sometimes half a day, sometimes few hours to get hit again in the evening or night. Do you think the sharp pain means deeper healing? The devil really plays some nasty tricks with me.

[[Kl...]]

Symptoms change all the time.. however mornings are my worst. Varies from tingling / buzzing in my arms / legs, sometimes aches and pains in same areas.. music loops / anxiety at 4am.. it's not a fun way to wake up. Often eases up after 30 min or so after a walk.

 

Occasionally like today, crying spells, despair / hopeless feelings, though not very often now.

 

Just general body aches and feeling crappy in waves. Fatigue at times, brain fog, though getting less often and less intense.

 

hard to say really, since one thing goes and replaces with something else, but in general things are starting to fade finally I think, getting windows feeling 95% at times.. just waiting for it to stick

[[lo...]]

anybody here wakes up feeling fine but it gets worse as the day goes on, and better just before sleep?

it seems my pattern has reversed from the early days. when I wake up at first, I do feel close to normal. but as the day goes, i'm in sort of a wave (at least for a couple of weeks now)

 

[[Kl...]]

Aside from my wakeup, yeah my mornings have been better lately, the afternoon gets crappy, then good in the evening. Which is a different pattern. Always used to be terrible in the mornings for a long time, then ok evenings

[[So...]]

Hey guys thought I would check back in here really quick. I am now 21 months off and last week had an almost four day window feeling about 85% better which was magical, it was a really nice dose of hope that this all is withdrawal. I also have had OCD since I was 13 and it got really bad again after stopping klonopin but the other night for a few hours it totally went away and I know too that it is only bad because of withdrawal. I am in a bad wave again right now but my bad waves now are nowhere near what they were even two months ago. I have seen great encouraging improvement and even though I have felt really crappy the last three days (probably because I am about to start my period) I know the good times will come back again.

 

I am sending all of you guys so much healing and love, at 26 I never thought I would be still brain damaged and dealing with having taken a prescribed medication but the only way out is through and I do believe that we all heal, it just takes time.

[[HI...]]

Hi all ,i see that the 18-30 site has been stopped ,has everyone healed or just given up hope,,,,,,if you still struggling please tell us whats going on and even better if you have

seen some healing from 18 months onwards , please tell us all to give us some hope ,as we all need some motivation with this journey through hell.......

 

A great majority give up hope.  The reality finally settles in.  Once it settles in people are no longer carried by the "We all heal" paradigm.  Some people do get lucky however.  That is what you have to pray for.  Good luck!!

[[ea...]]

No matter what you might read here, I do believe that almost all people do heal from benzos. Keep in mind something: All you have is the written word, here on BB. You do not know if someone had prior psych problems. Or truly what drugs they take now. No matter what you read I do believe that the VAST majority of people DO heal from benzos.

The healing process can be slow and very unpleasant. But time given, you WILL heal.

 

 

To heal from benzos takes a strong person, under the damage that benzos do cause. Withdrawal is not easy or fun.

 

I honestly think that most peoples lack of information about BWD is what causes so many to drop out. If we all saw infomercials about benzos and WD, most of us would be better prepared for withdrawal. Compare this to breast cancer. Almost  everyone associate pink ribbons with breast cancer. I think benzo withdrawal should get a BLACK ribbon, and let the public know who truly awful benzos are - taking them longer than a month, and then getting off them -----  a truly horrible thing that can be.

east

[[Kl...]]

No matter what you might read here, I do believe that almost all people do heal from benzos. Keep in mind something: All you have is the written word, here on BB. You do not know if someone had prior psych problems. Or truly what drugs they take now. No matter what you read I do believe that the VAST majority of people DO heal from benzos.

The healing process can be slow and very unpleasant. But time given, you WILL heal.

 

 

To heal from benzos takes a strong person, under the damage that benzos do cause. Withdrawal is not easy or fun.

 

I honestly think that most peoples lack of information about BWD is what causes so many to drop out. If we all saw infomercials about benzos and WD, most of us would be better prepared for withdrawal. Compare this to breast cancer. Almost  everyone associate pink ribbons with breast cancer. I think benzo withdrawal should get a BLACK ribbon, and let the public know who truly awful benzos are - taking them longer than a month, and then getting off them -----  a truly horrible thing that can be.

east

 

Thank you for this eastcoast, and from what I know, I agree. Yes I'm still in this and it's hard at times, but I also know several people personally that have healed and talk to them often and a couple were very bad CT's.

 

I know it's hard to believe you will heal sometimes when you are suffering, I have doubts at times too, but once the wave passes I get my logical mind back. Posting comments that people don't heal without evidence is damaging to people who are fragile and doing whatever it takes to get back to health. This is the hardest thing probably that most people will ever experience, but it is temporary and it will end, the evidence is out there to support this.

 

[[Ch...]]

Hi all ,i see that the 18-30 site has been stopped ,has everyone healed or just given up hope,,,,,,if you still struggling please tell us whats going on and even better if you have

seen some healing from 18 months onwards , please tell us all to give us some hope ,as we all need some motivation with this journey through hell.......

 

A great majority give up hope.  The reality finally settles in.  Once it settles in people are no longer carried by the "We all heal" paradigm.  Some people do get lucky however.  That is what you have to pray for.  Good luck!!

 

What a load of rubbish.

[[...]]

anybody here wakes up feeling fine but it gets worse as the day goes on, and better just before sleep?

it seems my pattern has reversed from the early days. when I wake up at first, I do feel close to normal. but as the day goes, i'm in sort of a wave (at least for a couple of weeks now)

 

I wake up feeling somewhat 'calm', akathisia at least isn't too bad physically, but as the afternoon progresses, it gets worse and from 4 or 5pm, I just have to be busy busy busy and out of home, or else I feel I am losing my mind and will rip my skin off. But it stays that way until the later evening when it's finally time to go to bed and for me to find a way to wind down. I wish the evening would bring some relief - and for those of you who do experience relief, it is a great sign.

 

From what I understand, most people go through the early morning cortisol rush, and that's their worst time of the day. Then cortisol levels decrease throughout the day (although not constantly, with peaks and troughs) and come to their lowest at bed time, which is why many experience a lift in symptoms in the evening. I'm not sure why some of us go through an uptick of symptoms in the afternoon, it was suggested to me that my cortisol cycle was flipped, which I gather from around the web does happen to people independently of going through wd or not. That's the cortisol cycle theory anyway.

 

The thing is, we are still sensitive to cortisol levels but that will get better... so nothing to worry about 

[[So...]]

A great majority give up hope.  The reality finally settles in.  Once it settles in people are no longer carried by the "We all heal" paradigm.  Some people do get lucky however.  That is what you have to pray for.  Good luck!!

 

 

This is absolutely not true.  I just met in person a guy who went through this nasty ordeal and he listed all of the same symptoms we all deal with.  It took him a full 3 years of recovery but he is recovered.  Please don't post stuff like this.  We all need hope through this horrifying experience.  SoulMan.

[[...]]

Hi all ,i see that the 18-30 site has been stopped ,has everyone healed or just given up hope,,,,,,if you still struggling please tell us whats going on and even better if you have

seen some healing from 18 months onwards , please tell us all to give us some hope ,as we all need some motivation with this journey through hell.......

 

A great majority give up hope.  The reality finally settles in.  Once it settles in people are no longer carried by the "We all heal" paradigm.  Some people do get lucky however.  That is what you have to pray for.  Good luck!!

 

What a load of rubbish.

 

Just spoke to a guy who turned a corner at 28 months, all better by 32.  I guess he just "got lucky." 

[[Kl...]]

Thanks for posting that T1D. I see that often, people seem to start getting a lot better around that time period 28-30 ish.

 

Always good to read more examples of that.

[[br...]]

 

To all the hater and doubters I have just one thing to say .

 

CODSWALLOP.

 

We ALL recover eventually . It may take years and years , but recovery happens .

Until that magic day we have to work hard on living the best life possible , under the very difficult circumstances that we find ourselves in, AND that does not include trying to deal with our pain by inflicting pain on others . Nannie smacks  and shame on those who do it.

[[To...]]

HI1989 you suck.... that is all

 

 

Everybody else let’s fight until we reach healing that we KNOW is coming 

[[Li...]]

What a wonderful, positive thread this is. Glad I stumbled onto it.

I went CT off benzos 6.5 years ago. I consider myself fully healed. I do still have to minbor symptoms that only started during withdrawal but I just live with them. BB taught me to do that. I still find iut amazing how much healthier I am now that I don't take benzos OR ADs. Yes, I am almost 69 now, but my health is darned good for an old lady. Getting off benzos did this, and I know this for sure.

Tolerance withdrawal is sort of complicated, but now I do understand that for many years, that was what caused my old miserable health symptoms. Doctors told me I had this thing or that thing (mostly garbage diagnoses like Fibromyalgia and CFS-) and it all turned out to be due to benzos. Life IS good now, I am will forever be grateful top BB.

east

 

 

 

Sorry you said your fully healed but they you say you have lingering symptoms does that not mean your not fully healed

[[...]]

HI1989 you suck.... that is all

 

 

 

Hahaha, quality! I needed that laugh today.

[[Ho...]]

The current timeframe (18-23) is super intens and bad. I think it’s unfair to blaim somebody for his opinion. I still keep hope that I will heal one day, no question about it but understand the doubts from HI1989. Let’s be supportive instead of offensive. Onwards, another day lies in front of us. 

[[Ch...]]

It's normal to have doubts, but it's unkind to spout ignorant b.s. that only serves to make other people feel desperate. This is the same kind of crap that has people consider doing awful things to themselves. Also, he didn't really think about how others might feel in reading that nonsense. Compassion is a two-way street.

 

Besides that, of course you're going to heal. That's how this works.

[[Ho...]]

It's normal to have doubts, but it's unkind to spout ignorant b.s. that only serves to make other people feel desperate. This is the same kind of crap that has people consider doing awful things to themselves. Also, he didn't really think about how others might feel in reading that nonsense. Compassion is a two-way street.

 

Besides that, of course you're going to heal. That's how this works.

 

Well written, I agree. The people who survive this, no matter how long it will take are very strong.

It’s sometimes too much. So hopefully the really nasty acute waves shut down soon.

How is everybody doing today? I am in a very bad shape.

[[Ry...]]

anybody here wakes up feeling fine but it gets worse as the day goes on, and better just before sleep?

it seems my pattern has reversed from the early days. when I wake up at first, I do feel close to normal. but as the day goes, i'm in sort of a wave (at least for a couple of weeks now)

 

This is me. Not exactly feeling fine in the AM but definitely better than around 1:30 - 8:00.

[[...]]

It's normal to have doubts, but it's unkind to spout ignorant b.s. that only serves to make other people feel desperate. This is the same kind of crap that has people consider doing awful things to themselves. Also, he didn't really think about how others might feel in reading that nonsense. Compassion is a two-way street.

 

Besides that, of course you're going to heal. That's how this works.

 

[[pu...]]

i just wanna chime in and say the earlier i go to bed the better i feel. by a landslide!

 

 

9 pm to 4 am is my new favorite sleep time.

 

 

i take melatonin 1 mg lozenges. if i wake up in the  night i take another one.