Under the Rug (Trigger Warning)

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Cow! Four days no benzo! Brilliant! Awesome! Very proud of you!

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Ah, shucks, thanks guys. http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/thank-you-smiley.gif I didn't announce it this time cuz last 2 times, I ended up having to take an emergency dose due to seizure symptoms. 

 

How long have you been off, Welchie? Did you have a surge of WD symptoms after you jumped?

 

I just bought myself a pint of vanilla ice cream! Scandalous, I know!! And, I am going to go for a walk to get some sun! That right there is a full day for me. Jesus God. I do work from home, but do not have a project going at the moment.

 

http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/onion-head/super-onion-head-emoticon.gif

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http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/partu3-smiley.gif

 

Thanks PH, and good job with the tapering! http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/hi5-smiley.gif

 

I am on day 4 of no benzo. But the half life of flurazepam is 4 days, so not out of the woods yet! Had to take 1mg last time I got this far. Fingers crossed!

 

🌷 Cowchick 🌷  

 

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Cow - I've been off fifteen days now.  Actually my worst sx was .25 to to .125 Klon. Yeah, I'm the poster child for @holes screwing up a taper, but still managed to survive.  When I jumped, the sx were much much more tolerable and I noticed things getting better.  But stuff still hit just after the half life...about three days in and hung around for a while.  I'm still symptomatic but nothing close to the full 1mg or those 50% cuts.  I don't have the seizure issue to worry about though, so please be careful.

 

I was like...should I or shouldn't I, should I or shouldn't I...but I figured the road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make up their mind so I just jumped off into the abyss.

 

Yum, vanilla.  Have a few bites for me.  I still can't do sugar or my butt goes crazy the next morning. 

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Welchie - I will get you some cute purple wedge slippers. Do you want feathers or sequins on them? 

 

Cow - look at all the support and love! 

 

Annie

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Good morning sisters 

 

I open my eyes and everyone is suited up with masks on while I'm still in my tshirt. I love the purple, it works.  So do we, but at Day 10, 1mg I'm feeling it.  Don't follow my lead it could be all in my head.  . 

 

Depression seems to be the overriding symptom though my toes have started to spasm and cramp and I've got the "Staring into Space Blues".  Not the best episode of Star Trek I've seen, but hey, it's a big universe. 

 

It looks like many of us are "off" or "nearly off", and those that aren't we take gently by the hand and say "it's going to be alright".  And then we can go and smash up a room together.

 

I'll push through this crap, just feel like crying.

 

Just going to observe how I feel and take my next cut when my body allows. 

 

Hey, who 💕 said depression doesn't have the enthusiasm of anger?    Too true.  Every time I go to smash up the room well, ummm, it just looks like a room, and I couldn't be bothered disturbing it.

 

I'll get through this bend in the road, just as we all will.

 

Dee

 

I truly hope this posts. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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🦋 WE GOT THIS, LADIES 🦋

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Dee - the party is getting wild and the chickens are restless.  Sounds like you're hitting the wall a bit.  Go ahead and have yourself a good cry - you're earning it.  And I know you ain't no sissy.  Ten days sounds about right for the sx kickup for Valium.  You'll get through it!!!  Then you can come romp in your purple superhero outfit with us.  And then the twinkie truck will show up and put us all in the slammer for going off our rockers.  If they only knew!!!

 

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Oh Welchie, it's crap, but I'll be ok.  Sista girls have soul.

 

I feel like an idiot because I replied to someone elsewhere on the board and told her/him that it gets better at the bottom end.  Well it was for a little bit, and now it's not.

 

Time to grit teeth, don purple and amazing benzo suit, cat eye mask with glitter, and our yet to be copyrighted (don't ask your ex Welchie  ) warrior cry, "this is a job for Benzo Girl."

 

Dee

 

Again, hope this posts. 

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Oh Welchie, it's crap, but I'll be ok.  Sista girls have soul.

 

I feel like an idiot because I replied to someone elsewhere on the board and told her/him that it gets better at the bottom end.  Well it was for a little bit, and now it's not.

 

Time to grit teeth, don purple and amazing benzo suit, cat eye mask with glitter, and our yet to be copyrighted (don't ask your ex Welchie  ) warrior cry, "this is a job for Benzo Girl."

 

Dee

 

Again, hope this posts.

 

Dee! I will be the last to finish my taper but I’m more than okay with that. If you look at my progress log or recent posts, you’ll understand what I mean. So you taper that 1 mg however you see fit. I’ll still be on the ride with you.     

 

I think I might ask a friend to draw Benzo Girl for me. So you and Welchie are okay with a black one piece with a purple B on it and a purple mask? Cape or no cape ladies? Maybe she could have a super cane she carries? 

 

Annie

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Dee, I have suffered from severe depression and anhedonia my whole life (even before benzos, but benzos definitely made it worse) so I do understand. http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/from-me-to-you-smiley.gif

 

Indeed Rabbit, there is a lot of love here. http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/rabbit2-smiley.gif  http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/love-shower-smiley.gif

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Indeed Rabbit, there is a lot of love here. http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/rabbit2-smiley.gif  http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/love-shower-smiley.gif

 

Lol. I love that!

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And I'll be there with you Annie even if I did go missing in action which I'm very ashamed of, but I just couldn't, just couldn't. 

 

A black leotard with big purple B is the look Annie.  The cane could double as a sceptre, or "sista sword", used to cut our way through the swathe, and the swathe of all those who follow. 

 

We have got this Peaceful..  We have. 

 

Dee

 

Gee,, I hope I have got it, it's metcurial. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh Welchie, that's what it feels like, the twinkle truck coming to take me away. 

 

It won't.  I sent it on a wild goose chase to give Annie's husband a taste of what it's really like. 

 

Dee

 

 

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Thanks cowchick 💕  Benzos really do add an whole new dimension to depression, and that's for sure. 

 

I'm figuring that if my depression had lifted at the end of my hold at 1.25, it can do it again.. 

 

Hopefully this will be short lived.

 

Dee

 

 

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Hoping it's short lived too Dee.

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Thanks Welchie.

 

Dee

 

 

[[Dd...]]

Hey ladies; ma girl Cow directed me here. No current issues with weight loss. Did see more hair in my shower drain when tapering. Currently trying to get off all the weight I earned while binge eating on benzos; but I hope you'll have me in this romper room of fab benzo womeyn. Firstly let me say, Deadwood you are not alone. I experienced a crushing depression while on benzos....K specifically. Then an ongoing dysphoria/rage while I was in process of tapering from Ativan. Happy to say, that I think I can put the blue & self harm behind me. Dont get me wrong, the stress anxiety stuggle is REAL., but far more manageable benzo free. We do GOT THIS

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Thanks for that Ddyw9 and you can share this romper room any old time.      Play in the sun with the good girls. 

 

I'll get through it Ddyw9 and thank you so for your kind thoughts.  It's great to hear that you have banished the blues and the self harm.  People need to read that sorta stuff.  Always. 

 

I am completely zoned out. 

 

Dee

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Hey Dd - Congrats on your recent jump...almost the same day as I did!  It is more manageable benzo free, isn't it?  Yeah.  We got this...we'll just tell big pharm to put that in its pipe and smoke it!!

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Hi Dd!

 

I’m glad you’re here!   

Romper room...I like that. Lol.

 

My name is Annie

 

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Hi Dd! Sila here! Good to meet you!

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Rock on Peaceful!  You go girl!!  Congrats!  And you tell that benzo to put THAT in its pipe and smoke it!!!

 

Hugs to everyone.  I'm going to check in on Monkey now...

 

Thanks, Welchie. and thanks for supporting Monkeypig.

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Thanks for that info Welchie. I’m going to look it up.

 

Sila-You have been through way too much lady! I am so proud that you keep a positive attitude and that you’re allowing yourself to receive support. I know what it’s like to give too much and feel uncomfortable taking. You deserve support too. 

 

PH - I’m happy to see you. I will look at that link.

 

Annie

Annie, hi hon! I'm happy to see you too 

Thanks for replying to Monkeypig, he's good guns. 🌹

 

Cow, I hear you.    I spent most of the last four months in overwhelm. Just now starting to move forward.  You should b*tch any old time you like, mornings or nights, we're all here for you.  🦋

 

So Super Benzo Girls, i am taking my last afternoon dose today .02    Over the weekend my total dose will be .75 stupid benzo, and I'm real glad!   😊   can i git an AMEN 

 

Amen! Woot woot!

 

 

  thanks annie, i spent an overall happy day yesterday.

[[Pe...]]

 

We have got this Peaceful..  We have. 

 

Dee

 

Gee,, I hope I have got it, it's metcurial.

 

You do - you got this. My crunchy creaky bones tell me so