Why do I smoke? Help me understand how addictions work, please

[[Ca...]]

Yeah, Julz. An Eating Disorder is one of the most destructive and dangerous addictions one can have. Only those who went through it know. Luckily, I’m now in remission. Eating healthy and drinking lots of water. Kitty is the best medicine I have found in life. No kids, so she’s like a daughter to me.

I realy have gone through life very ignorant about some things..!!

Well many things probbably...!!

 

[[be...]]

Estee

 

Please don’t start smoking. It’s a very addictive and nasty habit. You can find other ways to gain weight. You’re right. Second hand smoke is bad for kitty, and you don’t want to make her 😷 sick.

[[Es...]]

Betsy, I never said I wanted to gain weight

 

That scares the hell out of me. Don’t even say that! I think I wrote you when I gained weight and was so desperate. It was a real tragedy. You know, I was seeing someone else in the mirror. That’s what they call Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Part of OCD. I was seeing a very fat woman. When my hairderesser said last December this woman actually looked healthy. I got so offended, I immediately CTed Phenergan and went on a diet. I’m gonna see him only when I lose a few pounds more.

 

I hate cigs. This addiction must be genetic. But can be overcome. I had a colleague at work, who quit without any difficulties after having read Allen Carr. I think I recommended it to her. Not to mention husband. Two packs a day. Hasn’t had a cig for five yrs now. Smokers Anonymous every week.

 

Can’t, you should be grateful not to have an Eating Disorder. Some men do have it, though. They usually get addicted to the gym. Women mostly get addicted to starving. Or to binge eating.

[[be...]]

Sorry estee:

 

My mistake. I guess I did not read your post correctly. I'm glad you do not like to smoke. I didn't either but used to do it anyway. I'm glad I am more than two years ciggie free.

[[Ol...]]

Good job everyone!!!! I have already saved over $600 by not buying cigs. $635.96 to be exact. I recently ordered myself A Spirit Hood throw, it's a super soft faux fur cuddly blanket and they are the BEST! They are fairly expensive but I felt justified. If you ever have extra money laying around and you spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch, I highly recommend!! It was the perfect thing to treat myself with for going 5 months smoke free!

[[ma...]]

Good job everyone!!!! I have already saved over $600 by not buying cigs. $635.96 to be exact. I recently ordered myself A Spirit Hood throw, it's a super soft faux fur cuddly blanket and they are the BEST! They are fairly expensive but I felt justified. If you ever have extra money laying around and you spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch, I highly recommend!! It was the perfect thing to treat myself with for going 5 months smoke free!

Very nice OliveKitty, you deserve it

[[pi...]]

I love this thread, so good to see everyone doing something so positive. If it helps im only 6 months since quitting the psychological grip is completely gone. I dont feel urges ever anymore. and that sense of being done with it came in within the 2-3 months

[[ma...]]

I love this thread, so good to see everyone doing something so positive. If it helps im only 6 months since quitting the psychological grip is completely gone. I dont feel urges ever anymore. and that sense of being done with it came in within the 2-3 months

 

Thank you pinky, it sure helps! It's nice to know that you made it and are now free from cravings, it gives us hope. Did quitting nicotine help your recovery/withdrawal from the benzo?

[[Ca...]]

*** Skulks in... -hanging head... -shuffles feet and sits quietly in corner...!!

A big stress event right at wrong time... looking back, -i survived it..!!

So its back to the start for me...

This thread sure did help me hold off in the days leading up to last night though...

-so thats a bonus..!!

 

Well, thats my sad story...

 

On another note, -I appear to be getting stable on 0.25v.. Perhaps I dodged a bullet..!!

 

How is everyone??

 

 

[[Ol...]]

Hey Cant, no big deal! Just don't smoke another one! I think the net people get caught in is once they smoke then they think, well, might as well finish the pack, or something of the sort. We all stumble and that's ok, just like benzo w/d! So just get back up on the horse and keep going! Your time of not smoking is not negated.

Here's something that helped me in the early days

Not

One

Puff

Ever! =NOPE!  Then picture this guy in your head: 

:laugh:

[[...]]

Hey Cant, no big deal! Just don't smoke another one! I think the net people get caught in is once they smoke then they think, well, might as well finish the pack, or something of the sort. We all stumble and that's ok, just like benzo w/d! So just get back up on the horse and keep going! MYour time of not smoking is not negated.

Here's something that helped me in the early days

Not

One

Puff

Ever! =NOPE!  Then picture this guy in your head: 

:laugh:

 

Exactly! 

 

Keep going, everyone 

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Guys..!!

Yes, back to the grind...

Lets hope the Trigger has resolved, cos i dont want to have to find coping stratergies for that too..!!

Big day in the city, so that will keep my mind busy..

 

Thanks everyone,

Trust u r all well..

[[ma...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

[[Ol...]]

magnesi you are doing so awesome! 

 

I put my quit date on my sig because I was hoping if someone that was thinking of quitting saw that I did it mid taper, they might be inspired to do it too. People always tell you not to quit while you are tapering and just focus on one thing at a time, and I believed it for a year or more but now I don't believe it! It made me feel better! Of course if you are reading this and you haven't quit yet and are scared to, that's totally ok too. I just want to be a reminder that it can be a relatively stress free thing to quit smoking and may even make you feel better and more accomplished. We also tend to beat ourselves up for smoking, we know it is bad for us but we believe that we are hopelessly addicted and could not handle quitting during benzo w/d. Quitting not only makes you feel better in the long run, but it empowers you to take this aspect of health into your own hands, and lifts all of the negative self talk that we tend to do while we are smoking or just after a cigarette.

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Hey..

Its a bummer that we have to watch our energy and enthusiasm that way... Its so easy to overdo it..

I hope things settle down soon for you...

 

Dr gave me some patches today, but im not sure on using them... (yeah, i know you put them on the skin.. lol..)

 

Keep up the good work...

[[Sc...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard something similar before about not exercising too much during benzo taper. So is too much activity while tapering a bad thing as far as it can make benzo withdrawal symptoms worse? Please do explain. I took my last patch off 3-5 weeks ago, still get cravings sometimes very strong & long & have been a lump of low energy depression. I fear fast walking and maybe some sort of yoga, stretching etc may be the only things especially the walking to pull me out of a funk. Please help me understand the activity worsening benzo withdrawal symptoms. Thanks

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard something similar before about not exercising too much during benzo taper. So is too much activity while tapering a bad thing as far as it can make benzo withdrawal symptoms worse? Please do explain. I took my last patch off 3-5 weeks ago, still get cravings sometimes very strong & long & have been a lump of low energy depression. I fear fast walking and maybe some sort of yoga, stretching etc may be the only things especially the walking to pull me out of a funk. Please help me understand the activity worsening benzo withdrawal symptoms. Thanks

Its more Exessive or unusual exercise...  If sensible on ones approach, as per "normal", You should have no problems...

exercise is one of our best tools for recovery, let your body guide you, and dont try to keep up with teenagers in the bush...!!

 

[[ma...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard something similar before about not exercising too much during benzo taper. So is too much activity while tapering a bad thing as far as it can make benzo withdrawal symptoms worse? Please do explain. I took my last patch off 3-5 weeks ago, still get cravings sometimes very strong & long & have been a lump of low energy depression. I fear fast walking and maybe some sort of yoga, stretching etc may be the only things especially the walking to pull me out of a funk. Please help me understand the activity worsening benzo withdrawal symptoms. Thanks

 

Hi Scaredie, exercise has been my best help while tapering. It's just that my muscles are weaker due to the benzo W/D and so I get sore and tired much more easily. Normally I can live with this and push myself just enough. During windows I even run and go to aerobics classes. During waves, it's more yoga, Pilates and stretching. But after quitting smoking I felt energetic and motivated, so I started running and doing aerobics like in old days, i.e. much more often than during my best windows. This sent me through a wave and now I feel sore, get easily tired and my tinnitus went through the roof. I imagine that nicotine W/D may have had some influence too. But I don't care, it's so great to have done it! So, I'm back to the yoga and Pilates classes until I feel better again and can resume my aerobics which is what I really like doing. In the long run, exercise helps a lot, so don't be scared.

[[Sc...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard something similar before about not exercising too much during benzo taper. So is too much activity while tapering a bad thing as far as it can make benzo withdrawal symptoms worse? Please do explain. I took my last patch off 3-5 weeks ago, still get cravings sometimes very strong & long & have been a lump of low energy depression. I fear fast walking and maybe some sort of yoga, stretching etc may be the only things especially the walking to pull me out of a funk. Please help me understand the activity worsening benzo withdrawal symptoms. Thanks

Its more Exessive or unusual exercise...  If sensible on ones approach, as per "normal", You should have no problems...

exercise is one of our best tools for recovery, let your body guide you, and dont try to keep up with teenagers in the bush...!!

Thank you!

[[Sc...]]

Hi Cant, I'm glad you are felling more stable and back to our battle It's so much fun to quit smoking together! I'm doing well and cravings are getting weaker every day. I'm just trying to slow down a little because I was so excited to having quit smoking, felt so energetic, that I overdone it and some symptoms, specially tinnitus, got worse.

Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard something similar before about not exercising too much during benzo taper. So is too much activity while tapering a bad thing as far as it can make benzo withdrawal symptoms worse? Please do explain. I took my last patch off 3-5 weeks ago, still get cravings sometimes very strong & long & have been a lump of low energy depression. I fear fast walking and maybe some sort of yoga, stretching etc may be the only things especially the walking to pull me out of a funk. Please help me understand the activity worsening benzo withdrawal symptoms. Thanks

 

Hi Scaredie, exercise has been my best help while tapering. It's just that my muscles are weaker due to the benzo W/D and so I get sore and tired much more easily. Normally I can live with this and push myself just enough. During windows I even run and go to aerobics classes. During waves, it's more yoga, Pilates and stretching. But after quitting smoking I felt energetic and motivated, so I started running and doing aerobics like in old days, i.e. much more often than during my best windows. This sent me through a wave and now I feel sore, get easily tired and my tinnitus went through the roof. I imagine that nicotine W/D may have had some influence too. But I don't care, it's so great to have done it! So, I'm back to the yoga and Pilates classes until I feel better again and can resume my aerobics which is what I really like doing. In the long run, exercise helps a lot, so don't be scared.

Thank you very much for the response. I think my ms is messing with me and I don’t understand it all right now, as well as between neurologist. Havnt begun taper but having [bad upper back and shoulder blade pain]but I don’t want to take muscle relaxers(hate)or any of the normal things they’d script for ms pain & cant can I if I’m going to taper can I? I don’t even want to take nsaids or Tylenol too much for obvious reasons[has to be ms some of my first symptoms,the pain there, much fatigue and some insomnia]

 

It sounds like many symptoms of ms are similar to benzo withdrawal. Can you explain how/why your muscles are weaker due to benzo withdrawal?

 

Could you explain waves and windows a bit more to me please?

 

Since you have waves & windows, I assume you have withdrawal symptoms?

 

Do you think you tapered too fast and that’s why you have withdrawal?

 

Did you taper slow, medium, or fast?

 

How did your liquid taper work out for you?

 

Was it dlmt?

 

Sorry so many questions. Trying to understand better. Much thanks & best wishes

[[Ma...]]

I wanted to offer some input when this thread first started but was dealing with a bad case of writer's block. I've been trying to seriously quit smoking since 2005 I would say. I've quit for 5 years through 2007-2012. At the time, in 07, I first started taking Suboxone for opiate addiction and started smoking two packs a day. I felt fear. Like if I keep smoking two packs a day I'm going to get sick. The Suboxone made cigarettes too enjoyable as well because I first started it and was in the honeymoon phase. I focused on getting healthy, it became my new addiction. I just joined a gym and really pounded in my head that cigarettes are no good and they will make me sick, I started obsessing about the negatives. After I quit Suboxone in 2012, I started smoking again. Huge mistake. I was hanging out with a friend and he basically got me started by repeatedly offering me a cigarette. I declined like 10 times. We were drinking and doing cocaine at the time, so he wanted someone to smoke with I guess. I didn't smoke cigarettes there. Later that night or morning when I went home by myself I got an urge to smoke. I took a cigarette from my mom as soon as I got home. I told myself, I can handle one cigarette. I won't start again. At this point, I started smoking once or twice a week. After a few months I started to smoke for weeks straight. I basically started again. Since then during times of stress, I start smoking.

 

Quitting cigarettes takes practice too. It's rare if you can permanently quit after your first serious quitting attempt, so don't beat yourself up if you relapse. You really need a never stop quitting type of attitude to make it work. You need to learn how to recognize why you relapsed too. It's how you will discover why you smoke in the first place. I got to a point where I know why I smoke. I haven't had a cigarette for about 3 months. If I do relapse on cigarettes, it's usually because I'm in crisis mode. It makes me sick too most of the time. I only enjoyed the first cigarette of the day. The rest feel like poison. My mother got lung cancer so that is more motivation for me to quit. The reason why I still smoked is because I couldn't handle hard times since being on and quitting benzos. When shit got really hard, like when something bad happened to me I castrophized it, and just start smoking again out of spite for my life. When things got hard I became extremely self loathing I started stress smoking. Ever since my mom got the cancer cigarettes make me feel sick. I think I have really bad anxiety to the point I'm making myself sick smoking them. Fuck smoking.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Mamoot...!

Thanks for sharing, -a good insight...

 

Hope you are doing well now...?

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm doing better and did break new ground. Way less cognitive impairment and mood is improving. I'm trying to heal a recent stint with sciatica after breaking my fifth phalanx in the right foot. I basically crushed it on a stool leg last Dec/Jan. Walked right into it very hard. It was broke in two place clean. No displaced fracture. Developed MTP Capsulitis. Toe shifted slight downward. It feels weird now. Seems like it is healing though, but it still isn't like it was before. Healing slowly but healing I guess. I limped a lot as my toe was healing. I had some lower back issues. Some mild degenerative changes and marginal osteophyte formation in L2-3 and disk heights are preserved. I got sciatica from poor body mechanics after the toe break. One thing after the other right? So, I get the sciatica curse around 3/18/2018 I panic thinking that it will never go away. I start going to a chiropractor and he takes an X-Ray the first day he sees me. My left hip bone is a little slanted in the X-Ray. I told him that maybe limping constantly made my hip crooked. He started doing adjustments on it. It made me soar and my hip start hurting. I kept going back because I thought I had no choice and I needed this chiropractor to adjust me until I'm better. After the last adjustment, my hip hurt really badly and I just stopped going after that. That was about 3 weeks ago maybe. I'm doing all these yoga stretches. The Balasana, Malasana, the bridge pose, one or two other ones to help my sciatica and line my hip up right. I felt a huge urge to smoke when all this happened last month. Last thing I wanted was sciatic pain. I didn't start smoking again because I'm on a cycle of BPC-157, also taking other peptides. I even joined a gym that is around $70 month. I'm trying to better myself in every way imaginable so I couldn't start again. Smoking is so addictive though. I used to enjoy it when I was younger. Something happened and changed in my brain after being on Suboxone for 5 years and quitting them. I didn't enjoy cigarettes as much after starting again, with the exception when I went on this epic benzo and opiate binder in 2014 and got this shit show started. Cigarettes became enjoyable on all those drugs again. Cigarettes have plagued me these past several years. They hurt my soul too. It's such a horrible addiction.

[[Un...]]

Every day I look at these damn things and say, I don’t need you!  But I cave, due to all my nervous energy and smoke.  It seriously serves NO OTHER PURPOSE THAN DISTRACTION at this point.  I can’t stand the smell, taste, feeling in my lungs, fear of poisoning myself anymore...  none of it.  Time to get the Allen Carr book.  Wishing you all success who have quit!  That takes a lot of strength during benzo sh*ttiness. 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Guys...

Much better this time with patches... even around smokers...

Its realy the routein and habbit now... Though im sure there will be moments to come...

Day 3...

 

Hope everyone is doing well...