Updosing Support Group

[[va...]]

Without a signature it's hard to tell your history and what your response to an updose might be.

 

I am also not familiar with your drug.

 

I have updosed multiple times and always did get relief, sometimes it was immediate and sometimes it took a few weeks. I just had the worst year of my life and managed to get through it by two updoses both significant. I felt I had no choice. I was very sick ... but so was my son and I totally did not see what was going on with him and realized I need to immediately get it together for him. So I went from .33K to .5K then updosed again to .75K when he got worse, mom broke her hip, had major work event, etc. Many can carry on during that kind of stress and I admire them but I am not that person.

 

So I have been at an increased dose since September and the .75 mg for months. Both updoses took a while to kick in--as much as four weeks-- as I was such a mess. I have no immediate plans to continue to taper ... I need to wait until my son is out of the house and in college, I can't have my kids see me like that daily again.

 

So it really depends on how fast you had cut, maybe you need to updose more or maybe you will feel better in a few days. Can you share your history?

 

Great answer NJ. Glad the updoses worked for you.

[[NJ...]]

Barbara and Valium, how are you both doing?

[[va...]]

Barbara and Valium, how are you both doing?

 

Hi NJ. I'm feeling better. Not well, but nothing to do with the hell I was living in. I think I can say yesterday is the day it started to be more like lifting up than a window. But it could be just long windows? You never know with this crap. Anyway if I start to stabilize now I'm stuck with the gabapentin. But I don't dare to quit that one because I don't know how much of my feeling better is the updose and how much is the gabapentin you see? OK there are support groups of coming off of gabapentin and people can have a hard time, but you search on youtube "gabapentin withdrawal" and yes people criticize it and say it can be bad but they look fairly ok. But you know you search "benzo withdrawal" and the horror stories are unbelievable (I believe it since I've just recently spent a whole month in acute). So I want to believe the gabapentin wds can hardly be half as bad as benzo wds. Except for people who came off the benzos without ever going into acute. I was one of those lucky ones and not only once, but twice. So when people say gabapentin WD is as bad as benzo WD, maybe they've never been in acute benzo wd, that's what I'm thinking. Sorry this is totally unrelated. I'm very obsessive in general, can't help myself. NJ I remember you had a new job offer and was starting a new job? How're you doing? Have you started?

[[NJ...]]

Valium,

 

One day at a time. Just worry about the benzo not about the gabapentin. Everyone reacts differently. I believe you went through a lengthy withdrawal off Lexapro? I tapered in six weeks with minimal symptoms. Some can't get off ambien. I cold turkeyed after years of use and only had issues with insomnia. I used benadryl instead. I use remeron and worry about getting off someday but am not thinking about it now.

 

I won't start the new job until end of August. I am now second-guessing my decision to say yes based on whether their expectations are too high. I will meet with them Thursday and re-assess. I think I just panic about everything since my life has been in such upheaval the past year with my son's illness and mom falling an breaking her hip and now in a nursing home. I got a good vibe at the interview. I have had some horrendously awful work experiences as well--I work in an industry with high turnover, average length of time in a job for someone in my position is 9 months--so I think I am projecting some of those experiences when I shouldn't be.

[[va...]]

Valium,

 

One day at a time. Just worry about the benzo not about the gabapentin. Everyone reacts differently. I believe you went through a lengthy withdrawal off Lexapro? I tapered in six weeks with minimal symptoms. Some can't get off ambien. I cold turkeyed after years of use and only had issues with insomnia. I used benadryl instead. I use remeron and worry about getting off someday but am not thinking about it now.

 

I won't start the new job until end of August. I am now second-guessing my decision to say yes based on whether their expectations are too high. I will meet with them Thursday and re-assess. I think I just panic about everything since my life has been in such upheaval the past year with my son's illness and mom falling an breaking her hip and now in a nursing home. I got a good vibe at the interview. I have had some horrendously awful work experiences as well--I work in an industry with high turnover, average length of time in a job for someone in my position is 9 months--so I think I am projecting some of those experiences when I shouldn't be.

 

NJ Strength, if you can afford not to take the new and potentially stressful job, maybe better not take it? You really have so much going on in your life at the moment. I'm sure you'll find the right decision to make about the job. I think stress is the worst thing for everything. For benzo wd and for everything, so if you can afford to live on a less stressful job, that would be my bet. Of course we're all different and I'm not one bit ambitious.

[[Ca...]]

Without a signature it's hard to tell your history and what your response to an updose might be.

 

I am also not familiar with your drug.

 

I have updosed multiple times and always did get relief, sometimes it was immediate and sometimes it took a few weeks. I just had the worst year of my life and managed to get through it by two updoses both significant. I felt I had no choice. I was very sick ... but so was my son and I totally did not see what was going on with him and realized I need to immediately get it together for him. So I went from .33K to .5K then updosed again to .75K when he got worse, mom broke her hip, had major work event, etc. Many can carry on during that kind of stress and I admire them but I am not that person.

 

 

 

 

So I have been at an increased dose since September and the .75 mg for months. Both updoses took a while to kick in--as much as four weeks-- as I was such a mess. I have no immediate plans to continue to taper ... I need to wait until my son is out of the house and in college, I can't have my kids see me like that daily again.

 

So it really depends on how fast you had cut, maybe you need to updose more or maybe you will feel better in a few days. Can you share your history?

 

 

 

I am on ativan.  was tapering 2.75 from 3 mg for 4 months and becoming more and more unstable. still feel a bit like this on updose.  i went to 3day rehab where they took ativan away and replaced it, mybrain was scrambled.  and, that was rough. i am all alone and 65.  getting worse.  now on updose from 2.75 to 3.50 for 4 days.  will this help soon?

[[Ca...]]

please??/  how soon before i feel some relief from my updose which i started  4 days ago???  almost 5.  please?? ty

[[NJ...]]

The new job is work from home with flexible hours and more time off. I think on the long run will be much less stressful. I think I  just freaking out for no reason and need to calm down. Glad you are feeling a bit better.

[[Ca...]]

can anybody help me, please?

 

[[va...]]

can anybody help me, please?

 

Cathymp I wish I could do more. My updose, the initial one, didn't work and after three weeks I wasn't feeling better. The second updose to 2.5 is barely starting to work yesterday, after one whole week. And I'm not in any way well, but not as bad as before thank God. An my updose was huge, I wish I hadn't gone so far but it's too late now to go back. I think four days is not enough. But I'm on valium. Maybe ativan is different I don't have a clue. I wish someone more knowledgeable could tell you. My dr. also put in gabapentin so I don't know if that could be working. I have bad waves but they're not constant and not as bad.

 

NJ Stregth, from home is great. I teach at home. It is demanding because you deal with people and have to look friendly and smart (on benzo wd), but it's better than going somewhere. Though in the state I've been in and am in during the waves, I thing just being in a store putting things on shelves would be the best for me, not having to deal with people. People are very hard to deal with in wd, let alone teaching them anything.

[[Ca...]]

why do we still have waves during an updose?

so, maybe i should go up to 4 mg. from my 2.75?    (and, 1mg of ativan is equal to 10 mg of valium)

[[NJ...]]

can anybody help me, please?

 

Cathy,

 

I know that those on ativan can have a tough time due to the short half life, so you are likely going through interdose withdrawals ... does that sound like something you are experiencing? Many end up moving over to valium to do their tapers to help with this. I have no experience with that. Others have added in a small amount of a longer acting benzo but then you risk being on two and not being able to get off. If that is a something you feel comfortable with it might be an option.

 

It's impossible to know if the updose will work or work immediately. Some of the questions I have are ... are you working with a doctor on this? Do you have a consistent supply of medication (will you get yanked off again in a rehab type situation, I am so sorry that you went through that). What are your symptoms? Would you consider adding another medication to help with whatever symptoms you are having? Why did you taper the benzo in the first place?

 

I was out all day today but will check in with you again if you are up to providing more info. Unfortunately no one knows if this will work for you. I have been a complete mess where you are in the past and did figure out how to get more stable but have never figured out how to get off.

[[va...]]

why do we still have waves during an updose?

so, maybe i should go up to 4 mg. from my 2.75?    (and, 1mg of ativan is equal to 10 mg of valium)

 

Don't updose so much. Wait till more people answer. That would be a too big updose I think. But Cathymp it's impossible to know if you don't write your signature so that other people can help you. Look at my signature ant NJStrenght's. You go up on the website to "profile" then select "forum profile", then go to the bottom of the forum profile and theres an area called "signature" and in signature you write down when you started ativan, what dose, how you tapered and what dose you're on today. Do that so that people can help you. And add if you're on any other meds. Please do that.

[[Ca...]]

i have only updosed from 2.75 mg of ativan to 3.50.  i have not gone up to 4. but, i am not finding relief yet. and i am sorry, i don't know about signatures. i have benzo brain, and it's all i can do to write this sentence. please forgive me.  i have been on ativan 10 years dif doses. but, last 5 years on 3 mg.  then i put myself in rehab for 3 days just this feb.  it did my head in. and then psych forced taper on me one month later. i never stabalized at all. i struggled with taper for 4 months getting worse and worse and more disfunctional.   live alone and can't do anything.  i am dizzy and fog cog and i don't know if i have hurt myself more by updosing??  i have a very destabalized CNS at the moment. don't know what to do next. someone please help me.  i am begging kindly.  what if the updose doesn't even work? 

[[NJ...]]

What I would do if I were you is to do something that others on here have referred to as "frontloading" an updose ... taking more to try to get some relief than dropping dose down to a level you might be comfortable. So maybe try 4.5 tonight/tomorrow whenever you dose, maybe you will get relief? If yes, then next day do 4.25, day after 4.0, then 3.75 then settle back to 3.5 and see if that helps get you stable. Maybe you need 3.75 or 4 but I think this strategy may help you in the short term.  I wouldn't touch my dose for a while after that if I were you. I think you need to figure out what you are going to do next. 10 years is a relatively long term use so the rehab/forced taper is probably still impacting you. And you obviously need to be able to care for yourself so that is important.

 

If you do this, will you have enough pills or will you run out? Do you have access to a prescriber who will support a higher dose?

 

It is possible this won't work but I think the most important thing is to BELIEVE IT WILL. The power of the mind is very powerful. If you doubt it will work it will be less likely to work. The placebo effect is very powerful.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

 

 

[[va...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

[[Ca...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

I would guess that Cathy has already reached a “steady state” in blood concentration levels, thus it would be more a rescue/updose, and another change (at day 5/6)..

 

[[va...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

I would guess that Cathy has already reached a “steady state” in blood concentration levels, thus it would be more a rescue/updose, and another change (at day 5/6)..

 

What do you mean Cantfly? I was just trying to explain what NJStrength was proposing. I'm not suggesting anything because I don't know enough to suggest. Cantfly do you mean Cathymp should not updose nor do any changes in her dose?

 

Cathymp listen to Cantfly. He doesn't think making any further changes in doses would help, and it would probably make things worse.

[[Ba...]]

Hi.  Just writing to say ill write more later.

 

I am now on half valium, half clon, cuz was going to go all the way back to clon and... didn't. 

I will say if i take half a lyrica made huge difference.  From feeling going nuts and want to die and figure will wind up in hospital, to being able to run errands and function.  Also went from huge vibrations/tremor (whch usually have) to almost none.

 

I'll write it all out soon.  Dr. not much help as he had said to add gabapentin, which at time made me ill, add this, try that... nothing helped.  Then tper the valium or sitch to another benzo. 

Am also on ambien, about 3/4 of a 10 mg.

 

maybe can take lyrica now and then to funtion/sleep now and then?

 

Most of my hair as fallen out....  iI guess after 40 years this happen.  UNLESS it was all mirtazapn and i was a fool to not stay on clonopin in the first place.

 

sigh.

[[NJ...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

 

Yes, this is what I was proposing. I am not sure how Cant's suggestion fits into this. I don't know if this will work only that others have done it to try to get some relief when updosing.

[[Ca...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

I would guess that Cathy has already reached a “steady state” in blood concentration levels, thus it would be more a rescue/updose, and another change (at day 5/6)..

 

What do you mean Cantfly? I was just trying to explain what NJStrength was proposing. I'm not suggesting anything because I don't know enough to suggest. Cantfly do you mean Cathymp should not updose nor do any changes in her dose?

 

Cathymp listen to Cantfly. He doesn't think making any further changes in doses would help, and it would probably make things worse.

Yes, you did explain.. And I was just adding a thought...

-That half life should have accumulated by now to near a steady state, Thus negating the need to frontload for THAT specific dose.. So adding a single higher dose would, imo, be more of a “rescue” dose, or an increase.. Weather thats going to help or not, I dont know..

I had just replied to Cath on another thread of hers specific to the topic, so I just quickly made mention of it here...

-Sorry if it seemed I was contradicting...

 

I did not say either way how I thought she would respond or feel, I couldnt say if it would make her worse..

I do think how things unfold from here without changes will give some insight as to where she is at, but thats not my decision, and I am not in her shoes to determine if symptoms are severe enough to warrant the risks of continuing up in dose and having it not work, etc.

 

Hope that helps..

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Cant, yes, really impossible to know. Last time I updosed it did take longer than four days to feel the impact which is why I thought frontloading as others have done might help cathy. But it's all a gamble.

 

Hope you are having a good day!

[[va...]]

thankyou, when you say frontloading.  do you mean to take 4.25 at each 4 daily dosings??  becaues i dose 4 times a day. ativan is a hard one.  i dose 1 mg 7 am 1 mg 1pm and .75 at 6 pm and .75 at 11pm.    so, do you mean front loading, just do one dose of 4.25 for the whole 24 hours period.  or at each dose??  please thankyou.  and won't the CNS go wonky if you go up that high and drop down again to 4 or less?  tahnkyou, i am starting to undesrtand , benzo brain and all.

 

Cathymp, she means take the 4.25 in one day, not in each dose. Divide the 4.25 and spread it through 7 your one day doses is what she means. No more than 4,25 in one day.

I would guess that Cathy has already reached a “steady state” in blood concentration levels, thus it would be more a rescue/updose, and another change (at day 5/6)..

 

What do you mean Cantfly? I was just trying to explain what NJStrength was proposing. I'm not suggesting anything because I don't know enough to suggest. Cantfly do you mean Cathymp should not updose nor do any changes in her dose?

 

Cathymp listen to Cantfly. He doesn't think making any further changes in doses would help, and it would probably make things worse.

Yes, you did explain.. And I was just adding a thought...

-That half life should have accumulated by now to near a steady state, Thus negating the need to frontload for THAT specific dose.. So adding a single higher dose would, imo, be more of a “rescue” dose, or an increase.. Weather thats going to help or not, I dont know..

I had just replied to Cath on another thread of hers specific to the topic, so I just quickly made mention of it here...

-Sorry if it seemed I was contradicting...

 

I did not say either way how I thought she would respond or feel, I couldnt say if it would make her worse..

I do think how things unfold from here without changes will give some insight as to where she is at, but thats not my decision, and I am not in her shoes to determine if symptoms are severe enough to warrant the risks of continuing up in dose and having it not work, etc.

 

Hope that helps..

 

Yes, I'm sure it will help her Cantfly. I know for my own recent experience that being in acute withdrawal is so painful that you need to do something, updose, rescue dose, get another med, see another dr... I don't know if I regret updosing to 2.5, maybe 2 would've been enough, but again, maybe it wouldn't have been and I would still be in acute wd and frankly I don't wouldn't want to risk that. Like you wisely said, is it worth the risk just for half a miligram?

 

Cathymp, the detox must have been so hard on your CNS but what I always read from the experienced BBs is that holding on to the same dose, if the updose has been enough, will eventually make you feel better. But it doesn't work in two or three days. You have to think of weeks or sometimes months. I'm sorry because I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's weeks sometimes months. In the meantime the only thing that helps (a bit), is distraction and acceptance. I wish I could do something more helpful but for now, if you haven't read Baylissa's article on acceptance, it helped me quite a lot in my darkest moments.

 

https://baylissa.com/acceptance-and-normalizing/

[[Ca...]]

I am still updosing and thankyou all for answering me.  still going slow progress.  i am up to3.5  of atvian dosing 4 times daily.  (doc also wanted me on seroquel, but, i took a crumble of it so small, not sure i like it, and it made my urine stink).  so, i hear you all say my detox and foreced taper has made my cns fragile. i understand.  but,  doc said updose to 4, but, i only updosed to 3.5  (i was at 2.75 and didn't want to lose all that ground.   )  so, now that i am 5 days into updosing it should get better by the weeks and maybe month.  or i have read it won't help at all.  i am trusting and hoping for the first option.  (i took seroquel last night and tonight, i am not sure of this drug.     and, wondering why i am have smelly urine. (no UTI , i hope,,, i just had it checked).  please pray for me, i would love this.  and please pray i can stop having health anxiety and Mental symtpoms moreso than physical symptoms.  i worry to much about my health (poor health). i ask for suggestions and to know how long to proceed with the updose AND if i really should have gone up to the stated 4.0 mg of atvian.  i stayed at 3.5  (from 2.75).  I LOVE YOU ALL for your kindness and helpfulness.